A group of Democratic senators and congressmen visiting Iraq, together with a U.S. Marine, got captured by al-Qaeda and brought to a safe house north of Baghdad. The terrorists announce they will behead the captives, but promise to grant each of them a last wish.
~
Chuck Schumer asks for the opportunity to appoint one final congressional committee to investigate this kidnapping and blame it on the Bush-Cheney-Halliburton oil-cabal.
Nancy Pelosi would like one last lift from her plastic surgeon, a TV camera to film her final address as Speaker, and a tuna sandwich for her last meal.
Ted Kennedy wants to see the American nation hail him as a great man like his brother John, in addition to a bottle of scotch, a large inground pool filled up, a hooker, and an Oldsmobile.
John Murtha asks for some pork to be wired to him so he can name a mosque after himself. Then he politely inquires if the terrorists are not with the FBI and if this kidnapping business is not another ABSCAM sting.
Harry Reid would like to pass one last piece of legislation that would outlaw the Republican Party. He also inquires whether any real estate ventures are possible during his internment, and whether his children can lobby for his release as long as they're well paid.
Diane Feinstein wants all firearms in Iraq to be declared illegal and confiscated by the government. She also demands a phone call to her husband to see if any portion of the Department of Defense budget has not yet been transferred to her private bank account.
Barak Obama requests direct negotiations with al-Qaeda leaders and invites them to take part in his invasion of Pakistan, for which he would pay them as soon as he gets the reparation business sorted out.
Hillary asks about the fundraising situation around Baghdad, whether the terrorists would like to contribute cash to her presidential campaign, or if she can at least get them in a focus group.
Finally, the al-Qaeda terrorists ask the Marine for his last request.
"It's very simple," says the Marine. "I would like the biggest, toughest man here to kick me in the ass."
Everybody is perplexed. "Are you sure?"
"Yes sir. Have that guy over there, the one praying, come over here and kick me in the ass as hard as he can."
The Senators scoff and snicker, as this seems to confirm their notion of the average American soldier's stupidity.
The terrorist gets up from his prayer rug and kicks the Marine in the posterior so hard that he flies to the opposite wall, where he pulls out a 9mm submachine gun hidden under his coat, and shoots all the terrorists. Two pit bulls race into the room and lunge at his throat, but he pulls a knife from his boot and slices them to pieces.
The elected representatives are indignant. "What took you so long? Why did you let us suffer like that if you had the power to stop it from the very beginning?"
"The Rules of Engagement don't allow us to shoot unless we're under attack," the Marine says wearily. "These rules are made in Washington; I just follow them." Then he lifts a cell phone from one of the dead terrorists and calls in a rescue team.
The next day in the New York Times:
MARINE REFUSES TO DEFEND
CONGRESSIONAL DELEGATION;
FACES INVESTIGATION
FOR ILLEGALLY CONCEALED WEAPON,
DESECRATION OF A HOLY PLACE,
AND RUNNING OVER DOGS
Such disrespect of our democrat overlords is very bad thought-crime. I wish I had thought of it myself.
If one would think they would cower in face of hateful marine, there is no limit to corruption. Misguided comrade might think overlords not competent to control oil exploration, tell engineer how to build capitalist automobile, educate young, control temperature of Mother Earth, regulate amount of mouse droppings in your porridge. All should report for re-education promptly.
Comrades, youy fail to see the true evil treachery of the war-mongering capitalist Marine. Not only did he solve the situation with violence (which has been proven over and over again to not solve anything) he did so by goading, by taunting one of the practitioners of the Religion of Peace into an uncharacteristic act of violence, interupting his prayers to do so! Had the Marine not been there to provoke the completely understandable hostility of the peaceful insurgents, I am sure the situation would heave been resolved without any bloodshed (beyond a few culturally acceptable beheadings).
Once again, my filthy capitalist Microsoft keyboard has inserted extra letters into some of the words of the last post. Clear evidence of a imperialist conspiracy. Add yet another name to the list of those who will be first up against the wall when the revolution comes!
I see the problem as not enough Sensetivity Training at Parris Island and Pendleton.
The DI's need to focus more on the cultural needs of The Religion Of Peace™ than winning wars and protecting American lives and interests....More Koran time than range time, more prayer time, less PT.....more Sharia, less Constitutional oath....you get the picture.
It's so sad that the Marine hurt those peaceful Muslims who wouldn't hurt a sand flea, and we know what those awful Marines do to sand fleas on Parris Island.
Not only did he solve the situation with violence (which has been proven over and over again to not solve anything)
Not entirely true, comrade! For as the Great Prophet Marx, peace be upon him, said...
"The Communists disdain to conceal their views and aims. <hee hee hee, chortle!, snicker!, snort!, that line always cracks me up! But where was I? Oh yes...>They openly declare that their ends can be attained only by the forcible overthrow of all existing social conditions."
You see, comrade, violence always works when it promotes the Greater Good™, but it is always evil, reprehensible, and Barbaric! when it is used to interfere with the operations of enlightened, humanitarian regimes (you know, Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot, Saddam, etc) which see the urgent need to reduce the indigenous population for the Greater Good™.
Here's an oldie but goodie.
Ronald Reagan, Al Gore, and Bill Clinton, along with several other passengers were taking a cruise on Lake Minnetonka (international waters).
A storm comes up and the boat begins to sink.
"Save the women and children!" says Ronnie, and rushes into the cabins to aid passengers
"Screw the women and children!" says Al Gore, and dives into the water.
"Do we have time?" says Bill Clinton.
George Bush ("shrubbie") was on Lake Minnetonka giving a press conference when he noticed a little girl in the water who was struggling with a big sturgeon fish (they get pretty big). Without thinking he tore off his jacket, left the press conference and walked out onto the water. To the amazement of the crowd, Bush walked on top of the water until he reached the little girl, beat the snot out of the sturgeon fish with his bare hands, and pulled the little tyke to safety.
The next morning the headline in the Star Tribune read
"BUSH CAN'T SWIM"
First of all, let's put the blame for all of this squarely it belongs: On George W. Bush!
Second, notify PETA.
Third, we obviously need more gun control laws! How and where did this Marine ever get his hands on a submachine gun? Wal-Mart, I'll bet. (Now this wouldn't be such a big deal if it were Rosie O'Donnell's children and the Marine their bodyguard, would it?)
So senseless. So many other, more peaceful alternatives to pursue. If only we could've sent Sean Penn over there, I'll bet he could've talked with the terrorists and reached an understanding with them.
Oh, and did I mention this is all the fault of George W. Bush?
For the Sensitive Marine
Following Churchill’s Folly In Iraq
August 22, 2007
By Don Chapman
The analogy is not a perfect one in spite of the "endless parallels" cited by the author of that article. The overall tone is defeatist and may stem from a belief that America not only will lose, but should lose as just punishment for raping the planet, and for the usual American crimes alleged to be normative by those who grew up protected by our military, blessed by our prosperity, who avail themselves of our liberty, but still detest every good thing this nation stands for.
Now, I will freely admit that I am well out of my depth regarding British colonial history, but it seems to me that for the analogy being imposed here to be more perfect, it would require more. Were British soldiers then fighting a terrorist organization that had killed 3,000 of its citizens? In fact, when it comes to national survival, you will find very different Churchill quotes such as...
Winston Churchill wrote
"We have before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind. We have before us many, many long months of struggle and of suffering. You ask, what is our policy? I can say: It is to wage war, by sea, land and air, with all our might and with all the strength that God can give us; to wage war against a monstrous tyranny, never surpassed in the dark, lamentable catalogue of human crime. That is our policy. You ask, what is our aim?
I can answer in one word: It is victory, victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory, however long and hard the road may be; for without victory, there is no survival. Let that be realised; no survival for the British Empire, no survival for all that the British Empire has stood for, no survival for the urge and impulse of the ages, that mankind will move forward towards its goal. But I take up my task with buoyancy and hope. I feel sure that our cause will not be suffered to fail among men. At this time I feel entitled to claim the aid of all, and I say, "come then, let us go forward together with our united strength."
We are not really in Iraq just so Halliburton can pillage Iraqi oil, Blue Bell. We have a determined enemy who delights in torture, terror, and murder, and will not quit as long as one non-Muslim still has his head attached to his shoulders. Unlike Vietnam, we cannot leave and return home to our own business. These people will follow us. To lose in Iraq is to bring your neck and mine one step closer to the willing knives of al-Qaeda terrorists.
Further, I do not hold the frankly patronizing and racist view that people from the Middle East are inferior, incapable of self-government, and actually prefer brutal, totalitarian regimes. Are Afghan women abandoning educational opportunities and the chance to actually run for public office while screaming for a return to their burkhas, public amputations and executions? They seem to prefer freedom, maybe because they're just as much human beings as the rest of us. Of course there are obstacles to overcome as there were and are in our own history, but we are at a moment in time where there has never been a better chance for the Iraqi people. Will we abandon them as we did Southeast Asia, or will we stand with them and prevail?
Thanks for reading and commenting on my post. I found that you are located in Georgia. My middle son vacationed in Savannah last month for a third time. He says it’s a beautiful place.
Well, to get down to the nitty gritty as to why the U.S. is in the Middle East…
Comrade Blogunov wrote:
Quote
We are not really in Iraq just so Halliburton can pillage Iraqi oil, Blue Bell. We have a determined enemy who delights in torture, terror, and murder, and will not quit as long as one non-Muslim still has his head attached to his shoulders. Unlike Vietnam, we cannot leave and return home to our own business. These people will follow us. To lose in Iraq is to bring your neck and mine one step closer to the willing knives of al-Qaeda terrorists.
Comrade Blogunov, I beg to disagree with you. The U.S. under the Bush administration did NOT invade Iraq because of Terrorism. My My… How people forget…
The plans to invade Iraq and create a New World Order/American Empire in the Middle East and save the American Dollar were on Bush’s agenda when he took office. That was before 9/11, which btw, conveniently gave Bush the excuse to invade Iraq and bring the “Axis of Evil” States (the term coined by David Frum) to their knees and keep them from selling “Cheap Oil”… the same with Chavez. It’s the Dollar versus the Euro. Spreading Democracy… the American way!! So far, Saudi Arabia is the only ME country that has agreed to sell “high dollar oil.” Cheney has flown back and forth to S.A. (how many times??) offering the Saudi Royal family money deals for their agreement to comply with selling oil at the higher dollar value.
It’s not about Terrorism… It never has been. They don’t “hate us for our freedoms.” They hate us because we are There. It’s time for the U.S. to stop forcibly meddling in the affairs of the countries of the M.E. and get out of their territories. Give diplomacy and fair trade a chance to work.
Btw, what happened to Bush’s “New World Order?” The Neo Cons bailed out of that sinking ship.
Here’s an old but timely article by Ari Shavet that I saved and reread quite often.
=====================
WARNING:
Comrade Blue Bell -
Long links like yours distort the display and prevent the masses from enjoying the Cube's pages in their original glory. For now I placed your long link under "linky". In the future, I might simply delete the post if I don't have the time to fiddle with it.
Long links like yours distort the display and prevent the masses from enjoying the Cube's pages in their original glory. For now I placed your long link under "linky". In the future, I might simply delete the post if I don't have the time to fiddle with it.
Red Square
People's Dictator
Sieg Heil Red Square, the People’s Father Dictator !!
A thousand pardons for cluttering one of the Cube’s glorious pages with my long “linky.” I hope you will please forgive me… this lowly worshipper/follower among the throngs of your adoring masses. Oh Great Leader, after the humbling humiliation of my well deserved admonishment, I thought, “What shall I do? Oh, what shall I do?”
I went to be early with no supper. Yes, I denied myself both food and water, and said a little prayer before I fell asleep, asking God to forgive my crimes and transgressions against our beloved Dictator Red Square and the People’s Party. I woke in the middle of the night, finding that I had been turned into a fairy. Yes, a Fairy with wings !! And in my hands were a dust cloth, broom, feather duster… and a magic wand.
I flew up out of bed, turned on my computer and logged into The Peoples Cube with the wand, and cleaned all the pages… every one of them… of the several years of dust and grime that had settled in the corners (yes, there was dust in the corners !!) and on the typed letters. The Fairy God Mother that had supervised my work then sprayed the whole place very lightly with a clean but definite masculine scent. The pages of the Cube shone in all their glory !!
After that, I went back to bed and slept like a log in my knowledge and confidence that I had redeemed myself of any transgressions against the Cube’s Dictatorship.
Blue Bell
=====================
WARNING:
Dear Comrade People's Dictator
Great Incarnadine Trapezoid
I must insist that although she [Blue Bell -- R.S.] may feel herself compelled at times to pretend she's a fairy, as you say, dusting the Cube's corners, she does not work for the Kommissarate of Housekeeping and is in no way affiliated with our operations... Were I to take on such an individual, I might as well simply hire someone who walked around saying things like, "I Sweep Dead People." and who then try and sue the Cube when I reprimand her for inappropriate behaviour according to the employee handbook (which she would have duly received a copy of upon being hired and signing her contracts - with an independent lawyer of her choice present) and which she would have had to have acknowledged receiving, reading and understanding, in writing, and witnessed by the aforementioned independent counsel (council?... f**k it... up here they're called barristers and solicitors, or lawyer... )... So... Fay she may be, complete with homemade chiffon tutu, sequined leotard and pixie wand, and if, when she is in one of her manic phases she wants to spend a little of her energy buffing the parquet in the corners where clumsy fins sometimes have difficulty reaching, fine, but she isn't 'one of mine', and I cannot possibly trust her.
Please save this greeting for the coming reign of Her Excellency Hillary (HEH). When in doubt and confused about the distinction between fascism and progressivism, consult the People's Glossary: HITLER
Please save this greeting for the coming reign of Her Excellency Hillary (HEH). When in doubt and confused about the distinction between fascism and progressivism, consult the People's Glossary.
Red Square,
A Dictator is a Dictator is a Dictator in any language, and so is "Seig Heil" as a greeting, befitting any Dictator. You came up with "Red Square, People's Dictator."
There, there now... If it will make you feel better, I'll change the greeting to "All Hail Red Square, the People's Dictator !!" : )
The plans to invade Iraq and create a New World Order/American Empire in the Middle East and save the American Dollar were on Bush’s agenda when he took office. That was before 9/11, which btw, conveniently gave Bush the excuse to invade Iraq and bring the “Axis of Evil” States (the term coined by David Frum) to their knees and keep them from selling “Cheap Oil”… the same with Chavez. It’s the Dollar versus the Euro. Spreading Democracy… the American way!! So far, Saudi Arabia is the only ME country that has agreed to sell “high dollar oil.” Cheney has flown back and forth to S.A. (how many times??) offering the Saudi Royal family money deals for their agreement to comply with selling oil at the higher dollar value.
It’s not about Terrorism… It never has been. They don’t “hate us for our freedoms.” They hate us because we are There. It’s time for the U.S. to stop forcibly meddling in the affairs of the countries of the M.E. and get out of their territories. Give diplomacy and fair trade a chance to work.
I didn't know North Korea was an oil rich country? I mean, they are on the Axis of Evil list so I guess we are going to invade them and "steal" their oil next too! Damn that Cheney and his oil buddies!
Please, Blue Bell, provide the collective with a source where you obtained this piece of Current Truth™ that the U.S is building an empire and stealing the M.E's oil.
A Dictator is a Dictator is a Dictator in any language, and so is "Seig Heil" as a greeting, befitting any Dictator. You came up with "Red Square, People's Dictator."
That's odd. You wouldn't address Fidel Castro with a "Seig Heil" should you ever meet him, would you? You wouldn't say "Seig Heil" to Hugo Chavez either. No, you would address them as something like Glorious Comrade People's Dictator for the Greater Good™, Father and Protector of the Unwashed Little People™. That is how you should also address me.
Or following SMO's example, you can address me as The Great Incarnadine Trapezoid. That should be sufficient.
Please save this greeting for the coming reign of Her Excellency Hillary (HEH). When in doubt and confused about the distinction between fascism and progressivism, consult the People's Glossary.
Red Square,
A Dictator is a Dictator is a Dictator in any language, and so is "Seig Heil" as a greeting, befitting any Dictator. You came up with "Red Square, People's Dictator."
There, there now... If it will make you feel better, I'll change the greeting to "All Hail Red Square, the People's Dictator !!" : )
Blue Bell
Dear Blue Bell,
I will not come between you in your discussion, but please do not let Red get you all a-fluster in your German spelling. You were right the first time, it's "Sieg Heil", not "Seig Heil;" the latter would be pronounced "z", long I, hard g whereas the first is of course "z", long e, hard g.
In the meantime...ROFLMAO! About the joke, I mean. God damn rules of engagement, anyway. Drove my poor cousin crazy when he was over there. There was more than one instance where he there were near misses in protecting civilians becuase of that very rule.
STOP SKIPPY STOP!
The Tsarevna apologizes; my evil twin skippy from Occupied France (the imperialists know it as Michigan) got control of computer for moment. but I standby spelling correction, sorry, Red.
Ah, Blue Bell, the Friendly Troll has done some dusting around the Cube....oh look what she has uncovered next to that old magazine cover of Hitler as Time Magazine's "Man of the Year" for 1938....it's a link to April-May 1941 in Churchill's "Grand Alliance":
http://www.mtholyoke.edu/acad/intrel/Petroleum/iraq.htm
Historical hindsight they say is always 20/20.
Well, we'll just have to say Churchill screwed thoses poor Iraqis twice huh? IF (that pesky Monday morning historical armchair quarterbacking word that is always necessary to use) Churchill hadn't meddled with thoses freedom fighters back in 1941 we still wouldn't be fighting the Fascists today und wir sind jetz schreiben und sprechen auf deutsch. Versteh? Ich glaube nicht. Oops, I forgot....We're the Fascists! Bravo Blue Bell!
It's always fun to tear down heroes and never give credit where credit is due.
Churchill sucks!
But wait a minute....League of Nations mandate? Oh, that's right. The Ottoman Turks who kicked around these Shias, Sunnis, and Kurds for 800 years, not to mention the 20th Century's first genocide with the Armenians, picked the wrong side in a war and lost (Don't you just hate that concept of "winning and losing"?)
What to do? What to do? .....there's this power void where the Turks used to rule and somebody is going to have to provide the structure for government. Help! Help! League of Nations do something! ....and they did with Churchill's help.
But let's not heap all the blame on Churchill....why not the Republicans? The same kind that Ron Paul wants to imitate today, led by a strong womyn!... Alice of Malice, Alice Roosevelt Longworth. Why, IF Alice hadn't been so adament and influential about keeping the USA out of the toothless and worthless League of Nations maybe any of this never would ever have happened in the first place?
Ah, but it's Monday morning isn't it?
No, blame it on Jan Sobicinski.....wait.....El Cid.....no, the Crusaders...how about Charles "The Hammer" Martel.....aw shit....what am I talking about? Blame Bush™
And please Blue Bell, I beg of you....save your "Sieg Heils" for die Führerin auf ÜberProgreSSive™ MTE HEH, Hillary Diane Reicham Clinton
I will not come between you in your discussion, but please do not let Red get you all a-fluster in your German spelling. You were right the first time, it's "Sieg Heil", not "Seig Heil;" the latter would be pronounced "z", long I, hard g whereas the first is of course "z", long e, hard g.
Dear Comrade Tsarevna
Thank you kindly for you post and comments. That’s funny about the change of spelling of “Sieg Heil.” It’s not a term that I commonly use, and always being conscious of my spelling, I had checked to make sure I had it spelled correctly… “i” before “e” or the other way around. I got it right the first time, but copied Red Square’s spelling the second. It is rather tricky.
Several of my family members served in WWII, mostly in the South Pacific campaign. One lost his life in the invasion of Iwo Jima. I was just a gangly kid then, and didn’t understand all the patriotic, glorious hoopla of war… and I still don’t… except as mankind’s quest in “survival of the fittest.” My husband served in the Korean War.
Here’s a poem I read many years later that echoes my sentiments of war. It’s a bit long.
Blue Bell
---------
Patterns -- Amy Lowell
I walk down the garden paths,
And all the daffodils
Are blowing, and the bright blue squills.
I walk down the patterned garden-paths
In my stiff, brocaded gown.
With my powdered hair and jewelled fan,
I too am a rare
Pattern. As I wander down
The garden paths.
My dress is richly figured,
And the train
Makes a pink and silver stain
On the gravel, and the thrift
Of the borders.
Just a plate of current fashion,
Tripping by in high-heeled, ribboned shoes.
Not a softness anywhere about me,
Only whalebone and brocade.
And I sink on a seat in the shade
Of a lime tree. For my passion
Wars against the stiff brocade.
The daffodils and squills
Flutter in the breeze
As they please.
And I weep;
For the lime-tree is in blossom
And one small flower has dropped upon my bosom.
And the plashing of waterdrops
In the marble fountain
Comes down the garden-paths.
The dripping never stops.
Underneath my stiffened gown
Is the softness of a woman bathing in a marble basin,
A basin in the midst of hedges grown
So thick, she cannot see her lover hiding,
But she guesses he is near,
And the sliding of the water
Seems the stroking of a dear
Hand upon her.
What is Summer in a fine brocaded gown!
I should like to see it lying in a heap upon the ground.
All the pink and silver crumpled up on the ground.
I would be the pink and silver as I ran along the
paths,
And he would stumble after,
Bewildered by my laughter.
I should see the sun flashing from his sword-hilt and the buckles
on his shoes.
I would choose
To lead him in a maze along the patterned paths,
A bright and laughing maze for my heavy-booted lover,
Till he caught me in the shade,
And the buttons of his waistcoat bruised my body as he clasped me,
Aching, melting, unafraid.
With the shadows of the leaves and the sundrops,
And the plopping of the waterdrops,
All about us in the open afternoon --
I am very like to swoon
With the weight of this brocade,
For the sun sifts through the shade.
Underneath the fallen blossom
In my bosom,
Is a letter I have hid.
It was brought to me this morning by a rider from the Duke.
"Madam, we regret to inform you that Lord Hartwell
Died in action Thursday se'nnight."
As I read it in the white, morning sunlight,
The letters squirmed like snakes.
"Any answer, Madam," said my footman.
"No," I told him.
"See that the messenger takes some refreshment.
No, no answer."
And I walked into the garden,
Up and down the patterned paths,
In my stiff, correct brocade.
The blue and yellow flowers stood up proudly in the sun,
Each one.
I stood upright too,
Held rigid to the pattern
By the stiffness of my gown.
Up and down I walked,
Up and down.
In a month he would have been my husband.
In a month, here, underneath this lime,
We would have broke the pattern;
He for me, and I for him,
He as Colonel, I as Lady,
On this shady seat.
He had a whim
That sunlight carried blessing.
And I answered, "It shall be as you have said."
Now he is dead.
In Summer and in Winter I shall walk
Up and down
The patterned garden-paths
In my stiff, brocaded gown.
The squills and daffodils
Will give place to pillared roses, and to asters, and to snow.
I shall go
I shall go
Up and down,
In my gown.
Gorgeously arrayed,
Boned and stayed.
And the softness of my body will be guarded from embrace
By each button, hook, and lace.
For the man who should loose me is dead,
Fighting with the Duke in Flanders,
In a pattern called a war.
Christ! What are patterns for?
Where in the Hell is Dr. Kurgman when you need a box of Kleenex?
I'm weeping Blue Bell, I'm weeping......sniff, sniff,.....bwahhhhhhh.
I too shall help in your poem recital:
In Flanders Fields
John McCrae
In Flanders Fields
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie,
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
And now that we've learned to spell "Sieg"
From Siegfried Sassoon:
TO VICTORY
RETURN to greet me, colours that were my joy,
Not in the woeful crimson of men slain,
But shining as a garden; come with the streaming
Banners of dawn and sundown after rain.
I want to fill my gaze with blue and silver,
Radiance through living roses, spires of green
Rising in young-limbed copse and lovely wood
Where the hueless wind passes and cries unseen.
I am not sad; only I long for lustre.
I am tired of the greys and browns and the leafless ash.
I would have hours that move like a glitter of dancers
Far from the angry guns that boom and flash.
Return, musical, gay with blossom and fleetness,
Days when my sight shall be clear and my heart rejoice;
Come from the sea with breadth of approaching brightness,
When the blithe wind laughs on the hills with uplifted voice.
And a sculpture from Käthe Kollwitz
I thank your husband for his service in Korea, Blue Bell and your relatives that fought in WWII, especially the one who made the supreme sacrifice on Iwo Jima.
I too have served in the Signal Corps, my dad did three tours on the Tonkin Gulf Yacht Club as a RIO on a F-4 Phantom. I had a cousin at Pearl (Hickam Field) who later went on to fly as a gunner on a Maurader in the CBI theater. Two great uncles in The Great War. Five great-great grandpas for the Blue Bellies in The War of Northern Aggression, one who escaped from Libby Prison, one who fought at Gettysburg, and one who fought at 2nd Bull Run, Antietam, and died with most of his buddies marching up to Marye's Heights with the Irish Brigade at Fredericksburg. Last but certainly not least, a great grandfather who fought all seven years in the Revolution....his is a long and exciting story, too long to tell here.
My wife's family was from the Südatenland, great-grandpa survived the trenches of WWI in the Austro-Hungarian army and grandpa survived the Eastern Front as a corpsman (medic) in the Grossdeutschland Panzer division including the Battle of Kursk, a feat all and in of itself, only to be tortured by nightmares and alcoholism combined with a stomach wound that eventually took his life twenty-five years later. The whole family survived the communists at the end of the war by fleeing to the Rheinland by foot and horsecart and it was there where my wife was born.
She never got to know her Opa.
War sucks Blue Bell, but I weep for you. I weep because you prefer surrender when we haven't been beaten. I weep because you want to belittle the sacrifices made by our brave men and women in Iraq and sweep them under the rug of apathy and ignorance. I weep in anger because you want to make these sacrifices to look like they were made in vain and there's nothing more selfish than that belief.
I pray that our troops are victorious because if the Libshit surrender monkeys ever get their way and the troops don't finish the job, there's going to be a helluva lot more weeping in Iraq, here in America, and all over the world.
War sucks Blue Bell, but I weep for you. I weep because you prefer surrender when we haven't been beaten. I weep because you want to belittle the sacrifices made by our brave men and women in Iraq and sweep them under the rug of apathy and ignorance. I weep in anger because you want to make these sacrifices to look like they were made in vain and there's nothing more selfish than that belief.
Courage
Alone amid the battle-din untouched
Stands out one figure beautiful, serene;
No grime of smoke nor reeking blood hath smutched
The virgin brow of this unconquered queen.
She is the Joy of Courage vanquishing
The unstilled tremors of the fearful heart;
And it is she that bids the poet sing,
And gives to each the strength to bear his part.
Her eyes shall not be dimmed, but as a flame
Shall light the distant ages with its fire,
That men may know the glory of her name,
That purified our souls of fear's desire.
And she doth calm our sorrow, soothe our pain,
And she shall lead us back to peace again.
-- Dyneley Hussey
Quote
"Let him who desires peace prepare for war."
-- Vegetius
The Tsarevna submits to Propoganda Dept. that "Insensitive Marine" is redundant.
Dearest Comrade Tsarevna,
I was just about to comment that I have not seen you lately and to wonder at your well-being, and here you are, returned to us! Welcome back. Despite my 'tomboyishness', I have missed the presence of a Comrade Sister, and to be frank, despite Margaret's occasional visits, she's a bit 'girly' for me and I have no interest in discussing make-up (sorry Margaret... and Meow and Dr. P... but you three just go right ahead)... I have no idea if I'm an autumn or a winter... no interest if whether this or that outfit is slimming, unless it is for Meow or Dr. P (one must take pride in one's work, and I must admit that those two make dressing someone else up fun... but I am happy in People's coveralls, the more worn and patched, the better, and otherwise care only for the state of my boots)... My only real feminine interest seems to be interior decoration, which Theocritus and I can discuss ad infinitum for some reason - perhaps it is simply that my interests in housekeeping make me interested in making others comfortable as well...
Whatever the case, it is good to see you posting again, and yes, I find the term "Insensitive Marine" tautological... and I should know since those bastards raised me and mine!
Georgia is a great place to visit, even if you’re not a gun owner. The Atlantic coast is beautiful, and has good body surfing for most of the year. The next time your son is in Savannah, founded by the truly great James Oglethorpe, I would recommend the maritime history museum as a worthwhile stop.
Wow…where to start? The article from Ha Aretz (while we’re obsessed with spelling, I’m taking the liberty of transliterating the Hebrew by separating the definite article from the noun) reminded me of a friendly edebate I had with a friend of mine regarding conspiracies and the New World Order, etc. He too believed that a small of group of elitists were the “real power” behind world politics and that the Bush family consisted of “insiders” who always did everything with an ulterior motive. The irony is that his source was the very right wing John Birch Society, and that you and he, while at very different ends of the political spectrum, are largely in agreement on this issue. I choke on conspiracy theories for two reasons. One is that God, not man, declares the end from the beginning and brings His will to pass. I’m not willing to ascribe God’s omniscience and omnipotence to short-lived human conspirators. Sure people conspire, maybe even with some temporary measure of success, but no human or group of humans can control human destiny. Death always seems to be an issue even with the best of conspirators. The other reason is that to believe in conspiracy theories requires a good bit of ignorance of history which reveals human plans to be often frustrated rather than perfectly orchestrated. That’s why, after thousands of years of recorded human history, we do not yet live under a one world dictatorship. True, many empires have had their day in the sun, but where are they now?
I truly believe your desire for peaceful negotiation and diplomacy with our adversaries is sincere, but I also believe you do not fully appreciate the Muslim threat. Since Mohammed was able to unify Arabs under Islam 1,400 years ago, Islam has been a religion of conquest from the start. After sweeping through the Middle East and North Africa, Muslim invaders briefly took the Iberian Peninsula and attacked into Europe where they were thankfully and soundly beaten by Charles Martel at the Battle of Tours in 732. What rescued Europe, and ultimately us, was not diplomacy, but military victory. Who today envies the liberty and prosperity of Muslim countries that have lived under Islam for over a millennium (that’s roughly 800 years before our Declaration of Independence and 600 years before even the first struggling, English settlements in North America, so there’s no blaming America there)? Certainly you know that in Saudi Arabia women have no civil liberties (they can’t even drive legally), and that there is not one single church building in the whole birthplace of Islam. There is a religious police that vigorously enforces Islam and roots out members of the underground church – so much for tolerance and freedom of opinion. In fact, for another perspective of what life is like in most Muslim countries and what life would be like if Sharia Law were imposed on us, I recommend Voice of the Martyrs and Christian Solidarity International. Only Jordan does not as a matter of policy persecute Christians, but believers face the usual cultural dangers endemic in most Muslim nations. I know I’m emphasizing the persecution of Christians, but where there is no religious freedom, there is no other freedom, either.
Shall we negotiate with the Islamofascists? The militant jihadists do not hesitate to kill themselves, to kill the innocent, and to use the mentally handicapped and children as means to convey explosives into crowded areas. In one of the last plots to be foiled, you might remember that a young couple planned to take their infant on board an airliner with explosive liquid in its baby bottle! How do we negotiate with them? Bin-Laden has answered that question for us in his Letter to America. He “offers” us Islam. If we reject it, he is free to kill as many of us as he pleases. They mean war, and the only satisfactory negotiations for them would result in total submission from us. If you can find a classy burkha, you’re free to adopt Islam here or move to Riyadh. I’m not going.
As for American imperialism, I wish we did it more. The question isn’t whether there will be imperialism, but who’s going to do it and with what results? Typically, we leave people better off, more free, and with a higher standard of living than before we came. That’s the case when we follow through, not when we quit. So far, Afghan women have attained rights in a matter of a few short years that women in this country had to wait for centuries to realize. Afghanistan has the beginning of constitutional republic, Iraq has had a totalitarian fiend overthrown, has voted for an interim government, has voted on a constitution that respects their cultural background and contains a Bill of Rights, and they have voted on a permanent government under their new constitution. That sounds like progress to me. Freedom and opportunity are corrosive to militant Islam, that why it’s worth the struggle to prevail in Iraq, especially when the underrated and overlooked Iraqi soldiers are willing, at great risk to their lives and that of their families, to prosecute a war against the terrorists in their country.
By the way, the Ha Aretz article mentions troops just outside of Baghdad, presumably with Saddam still in power. I think it’s time to catch up with current events.
Sorry I went a little long, comrades. Thanks for your patience.
PS - Do not demean the sacrifices of these brave and heroic volunteers with patronizing pity. They were soldiers who went willingly, not thumb-sucking cub scouts who lost their den mother. Or as Patton would put it, "It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather, we should thank God that such men lived."
Dearest Comrade Tsarevna,
I was just about to comment that I have not seen you lately and to wonder at your well-being, and here you are, returned to us! ...... I find the term "Insensitive Marine" tautological... and I should know since those bastards raised me and mine!
Where in the Hell is Dr. Kurgman when you need a box of Kleenex?
I'm weeping Blue Bell, I'm weeping......sniff, sniff,.....bwahhhhhhh.
I too shall help in your poem recital:
In Flanders Fields
John McCrae
In Flanders Fields
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below....
War sucks Blue Bell, but I weep for you. I weep because you prefer surrender when we haven't been beaten. I weep because you want to belittle the sacrifices made by our brave men and women in Iraq and sweep them under the rug of apathy and ignorance. I weep in anger because you want to make these sacrifices to look like they were made in vain and there's nothing more selfish than that belief.
I pray that our troops are victorious because if the Libshit surrender monkeys ever get their way and the troops don't finish the job, there's going to be a helluva lot more weeping in Iraq, here in America, and all over the world.
Laika
Hmmm... thank you Laika... I just noticed this... a Canadski poem from WWI and something every child is expected to learn in school and be able to recite from memory... it's the reason that leading up to and on November 11th, we wear poppies up here (no... it has nothing to do with Opium)... red felt poppies that are sold by the Royal Canadian Legion for a donation. The interesting thing is, that no matter HOW left wing someone is in Canada, you will be pretty hard put to find someone who is not willing wear a poppy and make a donation... and as much as that moonbat granola-head may bitch about Canada's current participation in "the war in Afghanistan" (sorry to harp on that, but it makes me nuts... we're there on a peace-keeping mission... our country is at war with no one), I can't imagine someone not wearing a poppy because they believed it promoted war, or not wearing one because they refused to honour the sacrifice that was made for them in that war... Even now, most Canadians who don't support Canada being in Afghanistan will tell you that it is a completely different thing not to support the troops who are there, and they make that differentiation... but even more so, it doesn't matter what most Canadians believe, it would be almost impossible for you to find one who didn't honour the sacrifices made in WWI by Canadian soldiers or who wouldn't don a poppy for Remembrance Day...
"His poem speaks of Flanders fields, but the subject is universal – the fear of the dead that they will be forgotten, that their death will have been in vain. Remembrance, as symbolized by the Poppy,
is our eternal answer which belies that fear."
So... thank you Laika... Lest We Forget that the freedom we enjoy and which allows us to spew ill-considered dissent based solely on 'feelings', was bought at a price by those who shared the very same 'feelings' about war that we have, but who nevertheless understood that there are things in this world that are precious enough to give one's life for, and who did. Those that returned had no less 'feelings' than we do, and probably more, because they had to live with the horror of their experiences and with the loss of those who didn't return with them. Imagine their 'feelings' at finding there are those who place no value on the freedoms for which they gave so much, or who reject the value of the sacrifice that was made without understanding - really understanding what it is they are rejecting.
I've travelled in the Middle East and spent a great deal of time in Israel and in the occupied territories... I've seen how Muslim women are treated by their own familes and communities... as brood mares with no rights who are forced to pump out child after child after child until they die of it - or run to the hospitals and shelters run by the Israeli government to protect them from just such a thing.... as objects whose only value is the honour they accrue to their families - honour so fragile that simply having an unrelated male look at them the wrong way will bring down upon them the wrath of every immediate male member of their own family - brothers, fathers, uncles, husbands, sons - and end their lives, as if it is their fault and their doing... as valueless to the point that they are only educated as far as is necessary to allow them to function minimally in society and no further, since what use is studying when all you need to be able to read is the label and price of the food you buy as part of your duties to your family - the only place you will find Palestinean women receiving more education is at the public schools the Israeli government expects all its county's children to attend and the universities in Israel where they are allowed, as citizens to study.... never mind the forced genital mutilation (sorry all) as a form of control... And whether you can understand it or not, Israel is a gentle place for Muslim women to live. What they face in other countries is not as civilized, nor does it afford them more rights, safety, or humanity... they do not matter, and were the west to leave them to the tender mercies of their own countries, we would be committing a crime against half of humanity that would outstrip anything that you can imagine... Walking away from Iraq... from Afghanistan... from the proximity to Iran and Lebanon, from Pakistan (an ally, ostensibly)... and the list goes on and on... condemns these women to a life of being less than human, and I see no honour in that... As Laika so aptly puts it, "war sucks"... how much more would it suck for you and I as women to be considered less than human, because that's what you're condemning Muslim women to if you fight to abandon them to the benevolence of their culture...
So, we are left with a difficult question... which sucks more? War, or condemning half a population (our half) to lives that we would consider more hellish than war... and I hate to tell you but it's not like if the west picked up tomorrow and left, they wouldn't be at war with each other, and as women, we would be no better off... You can talk about Oil and Euros and creating a New World Order or a Great American Empire... But I fail to see the equivalency in this instance, even if I don't believe that all of the west's motives are pure. It doesn't negate the reality of what we would be leaving behind - allowing to happen by ignoring it or by justifying our non-participation or intervention by way of the argument of cultural equivalency or plurality. They aren't the same thing.
I don't agree with all of the coalition's policies or practises, but my reasons for wanting them there are different than many peoples'... I'm faced with that difficult question - all the more difficult because despite my families Jewishness, I'm a practising Buddhist (no sh*t) who abhors war (not that I really know anyone who doesn't abhor war - except for the concept of Jihad, which is by definition, a love of war for religious reasons) and who tries to practise seeing the world as borderless, and people as borderless in the same sense...
If I am walking down the street, and I see a woman being raped or a person being beaten, do I ignore it because I may be interfering with a cultural ritual or practise that I don't understand?... It might sound like an absurd analogy, but please tell me how?... Where is the plurality? Where is the equivalency of value in terms of culture or religion?.. Do I walk on by, because, heaven forefend, to interfere would be to disrespect the culture or religion from whence this rape or beating... or death springs?... Or do I reject it as being inhuman and inhumane, regardless of ANY underlying justification there might be?... Now, multiply that a thousandfold... a millionfold... I still couldn't give a crap about Euros and New World Orders... How unreasonable of me... to base such weighty political and philosophical decisions on something as mushy as "feelings"...
So, I can only second what Laika wrote - "If the Libshit surrender monkeys ever get their way and the troops don't finish the job, there's going to be a helluva lot more weeping in Iraq, here in America, and all over the world."... and thank him for saying it.
You know, for all this crap about how the invasion of Iraq had been on the table before 9/11, all I can say is Excellent! They seem to forget that Iraq never fully complied with the terms of cease fire from Dessert Storm. Instead, we had 8 years when the Clinton administration basically let it slide, other than lobbying some cruise missiles following an attempt on the life of the former president. 8 years of basically letting Saddam flout the UN inspections, and 8 years of No Fly Zones where he tried to shoot down our planes. It was only a matter of time before he succeeded and then what do you think would happen? Have they forgot that it was only when Bush actually started building up our forces on Iraq's border before Saddam even began to let the inspections to begin again? How at first he seemed to comply, but then he started his usual game of comply, resist, comply, resist. But we darn sure couldn't afford to keep a 100,000 men in the dessert doing nothing but putting pressure on Saddam. Even to the last Saddam could have made a choice and we wouldn't be here now. But in the end, this can be boiled down to Saddam bluffing, and Bush came into office, and post 9/11 decided to call his bluff. Comparisons to Churchill and Iraq in the twenties don't fly either. Lets look back at some of the predictions. For all the talk of how many we have lost in Iraq these past 4 years, it pales in comparisons to the predictions the talking heads predicted we would lose in the initial invasion. For that matter, remember all the doom and gloom predicted before Afghanistan? How no country had succeeded there neither the British or the Russians? The only way we can be beat in Iraq is if we are beat here at home, and way too many here are fighting for the jihadists and insurgents in order to hurt Bush for political reasons, and some because they just think we "should all just get along" and sing kumbayah around a campfire.
I still remember before Desert Storm hearing the nasal voiced, whiny "experts" talk about the near invincibility of the Iraqi Army and the "dreaded" T-72 MBT. Once we mixed it up with them, the T-72s had their turrets blown off before our M-1s were in range of their guns.
Still, conspiracy theories explain so much since once a conspiracy is alleged, everything can be submitted as evidence.
Well most people thought we were headed into Desert Storm in M60's, not Abrams. The T-72 is probably equal to the m60, but nothing compared to the kick assieness of the M1A1.
Well most people thought we were headed into Desert Storm in M60's, not Abrams. The T-72 is probably equal to the m60, but nothing compared to the kick assieness of the M1A1.
Not really, remember they also said the same, predicting tens of thousands of troops we would lose going into Baghdad. Yet they will bring out the same talking heads the next time we take action somewhere.
The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans
of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent,
by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant
pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other -
until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's
official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand
Write down this number and report to your Kommissar at the nearest railroad station.
Don't forget warm clothes and a shovel!
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North Korea's nuclear technicians protest outsourcing jobs to Syria Earth Day: save the planet, starve the children! Focus group: if water boarding was a sexual preference, they'd be teaching it in public schools Study: Wall Street losses unfairly target the rich Mixed month for MTV: teen pregnancy drops, however STDs are on the rise Obama pledges to give every typical small town family a possum sandwich Delays at American Airlines: a sneak peak into proposed government healthcare Stop and smell the Sharpies Obama: baby is punishment; tax increase is bundle of joy Media: this year's Global Bad News Awareness week to overlap with International Good News Obliviousness month NPR journalists go on truckers-style protest over high price of lattes Most popular April Fools joke: "A Democrat president won't raise taxes" Obama denounced extreme statements in Osama's new tape but urged voters to listen to the entire message before making judgment Obama's speech calls for change in stereotyping "the typical White person" Spitzer denies applying hardball tactics in front of bathroom mirror and threatening to come after himself New York State House retires Spitzer's #9 jersey KKK endorses Harvard's gym segregation policy: 'Blacks and Jews are next' London quake caused by SUV, now impounded by Scotland Yard Hillary's healthcare plan to include smelling salts for Obama's supporters and mandatory amputation of Chris Matthews' leg USMail Service to publish Obama's resume on new stamp Obama: one man's plagiarism is another man's audacity Candidate Barry O'Bama to court Irish vote Berkeley ousting US Marines gives hope to al Qaeda: 'If hippies can do it, so can we!' Berkley builds wall around self; man trying to flee 'Peace Sanctuary City' shot at checkpoint John McCain apologizes for going to Vietnam, earns Jane Fonda's endorsement To avoid scorn and ridicule, Tom Cruise converts to Islam NY Times: Backward, close-minded, inbred southern hicks vote for Obama NY Times: All the news that's fit to pimp Dems offer first female for President, first Black for President, first pretty pony for Attorney General Brokeback Mountain loses climber NASA's Spirit Rover finds Dennis Kucinich campaign on MarsLas Vegas: candidates offer plans to bail out flustered gamblers Feds: subprime borrowers' relief package to include subprime rib Silence in Cuba: Castro too ill to speak in public, Cubans too afraid to speak Dems adopt old British "don't mention the war" strategy for '08 campaign Obama's 'Take a penny, leave a penny' economic plan sparks new hope Obama's campaign hires homeless people to talk about change on street corners Panhandlers Union endorses Obama's plan for change Al Gore's children receive carbon credits for Winter Solstice Holiday Democrats call for troop surge in the War on Bush Murtha: if we quit now, capitalism will win Pelosi declares she likes class war, pledges to stay the course Expert blames Republicans for not attacking all Democrat candidates equally High school Meth teacher starts new class Holy Mitt! Violence in Iraq down 60%; media stories reporting this down 6000% Imus covers all bases by hiring undocumented-Black- Jewish-homeless- transgendered-vegan- disabled-obese-Kartina- victim as a sidekick Poll: most Muslims find curvature of Riemannian manifolds offensive "How The Grinch Redistributed Winter Solstice" opens on Broadway Left-wing bloggers hold vigil hoping suspect is connected to GOP candidate Hostage situation expected to be politicized in the next 20 minutes "Mall security" takes over operations in Baghdad New study suggests that 1 US gallon of Latte is 170 times more expensive than 1 US gallon of Regular gasoline. Al Gore sterilizes self to protect planet: 'Having children is selfish' NY Times: some news is fitter to print than others Study: most Americans will be worried about economy if told so often enough Musharraf changes name to Chavez to avoid being called "dictator" by MSM and Democrats in US Congress Media changes old adage "no news is good news" to "no good news is news" US Congress extends hurricane season until the first Sunday in November Lack of bad news from Iraq causes media recession. Women and minority journalists hardest hit. LA Times drops term "wild" describing fire, uses "undocumented" fire instead USA Today: big fires are getting bigger, small fires are getting smaller Reid: Global Warming caused fire by overheating arsonist's head, provoking delusional paranoia MoveOn.org pressures Congress to stop fighting fire and bring firemen home Reid: The war on fire is lost Pelosi: The number of fires has gone up since we started fighting fire Kerry: If you don't do well in school you'll get stuck fighting fire in California NY Times: Fighting fire creates even more fires Harry Reid auctions clothes, furniture, car on eBay in effort to make millions off his name. "If Limbaugh can do it so can I." No takers so far. Princess Leia Organa presents the Alderaanian Medal of Honor to Al Gore Did Che Guevara descend from Prophet Mohammed? San Andreas Fault in California preemptively renamed George Bush's Fault Media Matters editor blows self up over Limbaugh's 'bomber' remark End of Ramadan brings new rioting season to France Harry Reid bangs shoe on table: "We will bury you!" Dutch follow Ahmadinejad's lead, declare "there are no dykes in Holland" Ahmadinejad to Amerika: "Don't tase me, bro!" Bomb Girl and Taser Boy sell rights to their characters to Marvel Comics Cindy Sheehan hires Bomb Girl and Taser Boy as image consultants CBS stands by firing of Dan Rather: "He couldn't tell our logo from a hole in the ground" Jessie Jackson on Obama: "too White." Obama on Jackson: "I'm a smoke dat biatch if I see him"
Tasered victim at John Kerry's speech to receive Purple Heart Mugabe blames Zimbabwe's meltdown on Global Warming To stomp out possible confusion, MSM changes spelling of Obama to Ubama Craving acceptance from liberals, General Petraeus gains 300lbs and debuts report at Cannes. George Soros stops funding Democrats, converts to Islam Edwards: 41% of American children don't have lawyers John Edwards proposes "single payer" trial lawyer insurance for all, mandatory pre-jurisprudence care Illegal aliens kill people Americans won't killDemocrats select 2008 presidential slogan: "Death to America" Larry "Happy Feet" Craig uses Michael Flatley's Riverdance defense "Americans Coming Together" admit they had timing issues Presbyterian clergy issue fatwah calling for Pope's deathNew Jersey teen cracked iPhone with his face Vick awaits doggie-style welcome in prison Rock star behaves like rap star: huge media outcry China's recall of defective Daily Kos bloggers causes suicides among Democrat strategists Al Gore to recall the Internet Media declares September National Bridge Awareness Month First New Orleans, now Minnesota: Anderson Cooper travels up the Mississippi without a paddle Ray Nagin pledges to build a chocolate bridge instead William Jefferson spotted under collapsed bridge retrieving mystery package Cannibalism, rape, looting, republicanism rampant in Minneapolis Lindsay Lohan to enter astronaut training program Nigeria's plan to nationalize local spam industry sparks massive riots in Lagos
Democrat Congress's two major victories: minimum wage increase and al-Qaeda's restored operating capability London Mayor Livingston mandates Sharia law at nightclubs to prevent further bombings Taliban spokesman blames media bias as civilian deaths from US air strikes grab headlines: "Taliban has murdered thousands of civilians and we can't even get mentioned on Countdown with Olbermann. What gives?"Back alley massage parlors now offering "better ending than Sopranos" Bush to close Gitmo, detainees released into Mexican custody to be put on fast track to US citizenship
Study: Dan rather still unable to tell the difference between Paris Hilton and Katie Couric Civil war in Gaza: if it's not in Iraq why report it? US media increasingly impatient at lack of civil war in IraqUS Embassy in Syria warns of sex attacks. So how long will Bill be visiting for? Delighted Dems: "The surge has failed!"MSM spokesman: There are no civil war clashes in Gaza! Palestinians still wonder why their real civil war can't knock Iraq "civil war" off the front page As Albanians welcome Bush and show love for USA, NY Times offers them free subscriptions to "solve problem" Paris gets out of jail faster than an illegal immigrant Socialist utopia takes foothold in Venezuela as water cannons salute victory Pelosi: "I've seen climate change." John Fogerty of CCR also wants to know "if she's ever seen rain" Democrats call for troop withdrawal from Jersey Harry Reid: "Troop presence in New Jersey creating more terrorists" French riot police deployed as open minded, tolerant socialists expected to react to election results Progressives concerned with Sarkozy's "extremist agenda " of rule of law and assimilation to French culture Dems: War needs deadline; only social policies can run indefinitely Sheryl Crow to wipe out global warming one butt at a time Va Tech lessons for MSM: must ban guns, rich kids ACLU calls for calm, fears backlash against innocent gun owners: 'all gun owners aren't terrorists' Liberal groups join gun tolerance and awareness workshops Gun owners converting to Islam in droves to ward off profiling Sharp jump in number of 'non-decapitated' babies following Supreme Court decision Sharpton makes a list of 57 Don Imus sympathizers on public airwaves Al Gore and John Kerry agree: people who live in greenhouses should not expel noxious gases Al Gore hired by K-Y to pro- mote Global Warming Jelly New study shows Earth's 'fever' contagious; Mars asks planets to kick 'Greenhouse Mary' out of solar system Schumer demands Karl Rove be indicted on 1976 parking ticket Al Qaeda reacts to Schumer attack: "Thank Allah we're not Republicans!" Dems: Khalid Sheik Mohamed just watched too many episodes of 24 and made all that stuff in his confession up Fitzgerald to prosecute Ann Coulter for disclosing identity of presidential candidate John Edwards Following Scooter Libby success, media demands journalists be included on all future juries Kent State professor calls for bin Laden victory: time to bring in the National Guard again? Hollywood to America: our moral issues are better than your moral issues Obama promises to "purge himself" if he loses to Hillary to spare the public a lengthy trial House vote: Insurgents react with non-binding IED Democrat leaders don't support terrorists but they support their mission North Korea agrees to nuclear disarmament, media hails Madeleine Albright Bush: I support Democrat majority - but not their mission Is it time for Pinochet yet? Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History