Our progressive contributor Alva Goldbook posted on his Nitwit Blog a clever diatribe titled The Mental Illness Of Conservatism in which he took a long statement by Hitler, substituted "Jews" for "Liberals," "Germany" for "America," and "Fascists" for "Conservatives," and asked us to guess which conservative pundit wrote that.
Alva forgot that, in our definition of Hitler in the People's Glossary we had set a strict rule stipulating that "any such discussions should only be allowed to Party-approved professors of progressive science," so that untrained puny-minded weak liberals (UPMWL) wouldn't trespass into an ideological minefield and blow up the carefully constructed progressive defenses - which is what Alva just did, being the aforementioned UPMWL.
We wouldn't be concerned with what's written in Alva's blogspeck if this was not a recurrent theme of many a diatribe issued lately by the UPMWL, from Alva all the way to George Soros.
~
So we asked Alva a follow-up question: Which socialist pundit he thinks said this:
Quote
"We are socialists, we are enemies of today's capitalistic economic system for the exploitation of the economically weak, with its unfair salaries, with its unseemly evaluation of a human being according to wealth and property instead of responsibility and performance, and we are all determined to destroy this system under all conditions."
It turns out this was said by Adolf Hitler in a speech of May 1, 1927 (Quoted by Toland, 1976, p. 306) We'll just add to this that May Day was also an important holiday in the Nazi Germany.
In addition, here are just some selected points of the NSDAP* Program composed by Adolf Hitler and Anton Drexler. They were publicly presented on 24 February 1920 "to a crowd of almost two thousand and every single point was accepted amid jubilant approval." (Mein Kampf, Volume II, Chapter I). Unlike Alva, we didn't have to resort to any tricks like substituting the name of an ethnic group with an ideology, etc.
---------
* NSDAP = The National-Socialist German Workers Party (Die Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei)
Quote
- We demand that the State shall make it its primary duty to provide a livelihood for its citizens.
- The abolition of incomes unearned by work.
- The breaking of the slavery of interest
- Personal enrichment from war must be regarded as a crime against the nation. We demand therefore the ruthless confiscation of all war profits.
- We demand the nationalization of all businesses which have been formed into corporations (trusts).
- We demand profit-sharing in large industrial enterprises.
- We demand the extensive development of insurance for old age.
- We demand the passing of a law for the expropriation of land for communal purposes without compensation
- The State must consider a thorough reconstruction of our national system of education. The aim of the school must be to give the pupil, beginning with the first sign of intelligence, a grasp of the nation of the State (through the study of civic affairs).
- The State must ensure that the nation's health standards are raised by protecting mothers and infants, by prohibiting child labor.
- We demand the abolition of the mercenary army and the foundation of a people's army.
- The publishing of papers which are not conducive to the national welfare must be forbidden.
- Our nation can achieve permanent health only from within on the basis of the principle: The common interest before self-interest.
- To put the whole of this program into effect, we demand the creation of a strong central state power
So there you have it: "The common interest before self-interest." That is the spirit of Hitler's program.
It was all for the children of the toiling masses
Doesn't this sound like the high moral ground that international socialists continue to claim? It's the morality of collectivism that unites world's useful idiots - the lazy, the helpless, and the useless - against the smart, the productive, the self-sustaining. This morality doesn't have to be rational, just, or sustainable - as long as it warms your heart with feel-good notions and boosts your adrenaline, turning you into a self-righteous zealot convinced that the end justifies the means.
It is the thrill of the free-fall morality of wealth redistribution that stirs the crowds - be it Moscow, Berlin, Havana, Caracas, or New York, inspiring them to go on sacrificial crusades in the name of THE COMMON GOOD™ at the expense of the isolated and demonized groups of "exploiting bloodsuckers," whoever they are.
That is why it is so important for the progressive propagandists to be secretive about Hitler's belief in the collectivist principles of socialism. Hitler must be left out of all discussions about THE COMMON GOOD™ because someone might actually connect the dots and realize that the wars, the looting, and the slaughter of innocents that Hitler initiated were caused, in fact, by his selfless desire to advance the collectivist principles of socialism - much like Lenin, Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot, Ho Chi Minh, Castro, Che Guevara, and other heroes of the progressive community.
That, along with Hitler's belief in the virtues of vegetarianism and non-smoking must be kept as Party's best-kept secret, out of bounds for the puny-minded weak liberals like Alva. That is why all the UPMWL in the audience are hereby commanded immediately to erase this information both from their heads and their computers, not necessarily in that order. All you are allowed to remember is that any discussions about Hitler and his "struggle" should only be allowed to Party Leaders and tenured professors of progressive science. It's needed for THE COMMON GOOD™. It's always for THE COMMON GOOD™.
Oh wow! That really makes my head hurt! Jeesh, I didn't know thinking was going to be required when I signed up for this revolution.
Please comrade, in the future just tell me what you want me to think and don't bother to explain it to me. Better yet, just write the data to an EPROM that I can insert into my groupthink socket.
All I know about Hitler...all I really need to know about Hitler, is that Karl Rove-sputin somehow obtained stem cells from him and implanted them in Bu$hitler's brain. That's good enough for me. Well...that and the undeniable fact that Eva Braun was a total hottie. Especially when she wore that peasant dress with the knee socks and that hat thing. I mean WOW! How could the guy concentrate on annexing the Sudetenland with that nubile nymph prancing around Berchtesgaden?
Indeed this is a dangerous post for non-party members. The current programme espoused by Heir Hillary has been stolen from Heir Hitler. Only Party members may view this post, no? After all, we don't want to be seen as copy cats.
It's the morality of collectivism that unites world's useful idiots - the lazy, the helpless, and the useless - against the smart, the productive, the self-sustaining.
This is where some of us (I don't want to name names - at least not without being properly "convinced" to do so) are missing the whole point of Progressivism. You see, comrades, it's simply not fair that some members of society are given the unegalitarian advantage of being born smart, productive, or self-sustaining. The lazy, the helpless, and the useless are born victims of the afore mentioned enemies of the society. It's not their fault they were born lazy, or whiny, or allergic to education, or too incompetent to hold a job. All they need is a hand up, not a handout, a level playing field, a tiny redistribution of the ill-gotten gains so cynically referred to as wealth, etc.
Comrade Alva made a serious mistake drawing attention to Herr Hitler like that. Perhaps a little reeducation is in order. My contacts in Cambodia may have an opening for him in one of their hidden reeducation camps. I'll call them and see what I can do.
The incompetent baffoons (not that it's their fault) of our society do not need a 'hand up'. They cannot perform at that level because the fact is that they were born with an overactive 'lazy dumbass' portion of their brain, it's not their fault. Therefore by putting them, say in charge of rocket development, would be unfair as they wouldn't be able to perform and it would hurt their self esteem. So in order to remedy this horrendous poor self esteem epidemic rampaging through our collective, we must bring everyone else down to the level of the dumbest laziest worthless piece of crap (not that there is anything wrong with that) on the planet, forcibly if necessary. We of the Inner Party will handle all the thinking and planning and such and all will be well.
O'Brien
WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
by putting them, say in charge of rocket development, would be unfair as they wouldn't be able to perform and it would hurt their self esteem.
But it's been done very successfully, comrade! The incompetent baffoons were in charge of Chernobyl (hence the meltdown), at the US North East electrical circuits (hence the blackouts), at the recording studio (hence Yoko Ono, and now also Paris Hilton).
And, finally, in New Orleans - where the failure to repair the levies or evacuate residents hardly hurt the self-esteem of the local incompetent baffoons in charge of the city - they just blamed everything on Bush and FEMA! (including the near loss of the people's $90K which Rep. William Jefferson had been protecting from the global warming in his freezer). If anything, Katrina boosted the incompetent baffoons' self-esteem which resulted in the reelection of both Mayor Nagin and Rep. William Jefferson.
Thanks for reminding me, Laika - when I listed incompetent baffoons at the recording studio I forgot to mention Alva Goldbook. Is his self-esteem hurting? Not a chance in hell! He is the proud William Hung of the progressive community!
One thing left out of this discussion by Comrade Alva is that Mr. Hitler was a very snappy dresser. If more comrades would coordinate their earth tones more fluently and accessorize with greater applomb, the revolution would progress with greater celerity!
This is absolutely hilarious. Mulva defines mudslinging and censors his posts. Mikael Milquetoast puts a link to his site after every sentence and Red puts an extra w with the www and the pussy has a hissy fit and calls it censorship. They can't get anybody to post on their own mentally deranged sites, so they come here to amuse us with their silly ramblings and rants.
Thank goodness we're here to answer their cries for help.
Ooooo, yeah, ummm, we don't believe in "veganism" anymore, comrade Now. Yeah, it's exploitive to all those brave carrots, apples and other members of the ethnic vegetation background who have proven to be loyal supporters of the revolution, and most importantly, the Democrat-ic Party (I shudder when saying "democratic",yeck!).
So, comrade Now, in the interest of social justiceand the money we can make in T-Shirt sales, we have decided to do away with the consumption of Vegetable-Amerikans and have welcomed them in as a new voting bloc. Yes, there will be a Vegan Reich where THEY shall rule the likes of knuckle-dragging KKKonservatives for a "zhousand" years.
I also want to point out to you that Vegetable-Amerikans are unfairly grouped below meats and fat,oils and sweets. This is wrong, racist and should be turned into a social movement IMMEDIATELY! We must ALL work for the liberation of Vegetable-Amerikans and Bread-Amerikans (who by the way are diserable mates for toasters).
A complete exploitive diagram of food class-struggle is illustrated here
Thank you, Chairman Punchenko, for the excellent exploitive diagram.
It was particularly illuminating. Nota bene that comrades in the UK have already begun the struggle for food liberation by banning cheese from being exploited:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=426083&in_page_id=1770 This should open a new window for all peoples concerned with the very pressing issue of liberating foodstuffs around the world (in lieu of minor issues like the threat of Islamism).
I vill see all you comrades at ze next Libertarian National Socialist Green Party meeting: http://www.nazi.org/
Thank you for the find, comrade - or should I say Genosse? A very illuminating website. I wonder if Al Gore is not one of its sponsors. If only Bush had not stolen that election from him we could all be enjoying the gentle fist of the National Socialist Green Party right now. He would hold all those corporatist fascists under the green thumb, so to speak... Um, can we still call Bush a fascist - or is it a good word now? After all, fascism is just another word for collectivism...
Welcome back!
Welcome back to the same old place that you laughed about!
We knew you'd come back. Get's kinda lonely over at Nitwitia doesn't it, when you filter all the posts? We almost understand, not quite, but almost.
You're welcome here Alva any time. You see, we had a very naughty troll post hundreds of spam links to this site and we had to banish him, considering Google regulations, spam, and shutting down sites....Matt Cutts...yada, yada... We know you're not that dumb and at least you surrendered with honor. The Mimeshevik troll, on the other hand.....well, let's just say "Smersh Happens".
Keep up the good work. You're living proof of why we're here.
Did you find "Cancer Man" yet? I'd hate to think he's shivering in the Global Warming.
Actually, if you think about it, global warming won't be that bad. Mother Russia will be converted from the frozen wasteland it is into a tropical paradise of the people. Meanwhile all the evil capitalist countries will end up as burning deserts and will be begging us to help them.
The Nitwit has posted a new article, this time linking Mussolini to conservatism.
I guess we will never get a REAL response from Alva on the Hitler connection to Socialism (National Socialism that is). Oh well, once a Nitwit, always a Nitwit!
1.) Powerful and Continuing Nationalism (that's why liberals hate "States Rights")
2.) Disdain for the Recognition of Human Rights (especially the unborn)
3.) Identification of Enemies/Scapegoats as a Unifying Cause (Republicans = Nazis, Fascists..etc..How ingenius to include this point in your article Alva!)
4.) Supremacy of the Military (don't ask, don't tell, liberals know how to protect us))
5.) Rampant Sexism (Rock the Vote, MTV, Gay marriage, Mastrubate for Peace, condoms in schools, Marble ceilings, yuk yuk)
6.) Controlled Mass Media (NPR, CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, am I missing anybody else?)
7.) Obsession with National Security (Point well taken Alva, I'll concede on this one)
8.) Religion and Government are Intertwined (Can anybody say Sharia or Islam?)
9.) Corporate Power is Protected (FCC, SEC, OSHA, EPA, shall I continue?)
10.) Labor Power is Suppressed (ever been in a Labor Union? I was in the CWA and the Teamsters, all they did was suppress my wallet and destroyed two places of employment)
11.) Disdain for Intellectuals and the Arts (especially mimes and whackos who piss on a crucifix or toss shit on a madonna, that's why there were all those riots and embassy burnings...no wait, that was a Danish cartoon. Damn Ayn Rand freaks!)
12.) Obsession with Crime and Punishment (Ask Mikael)
13.) Rampant Cronyism and Corruption (Bonnie Fwank, Alcee Hastings, William Jefferson, Harry Reid, John Conyers, John Murtha, Jesse Jackson, Keith Ellison, Hillary Clinton, just to name a couple)
14. Fraudulent Elections (Funny there wasn't any on November 7th 2006? Hmmmmm....I wonder why? But just for fun: http://www.adversity.net/florida/Frame_Fla_Stories/Kennedy_Daley_1960.htm)
7.) Obsession with National Security (Point well taken Alva, I'll concede on this one)
I might agree if this was obsession with National Security in peace time without provocation. But having seen the WTC fall from up close as 3,000 people were being murdered, and knowing that I could be one of them, I think it would be insane not to be worried about National Security.
So I wouldn't concede that one either. It's "0" for Nitwitia.
7.) Obsession with National Security (Point well taken Alva, I'll concede on this one)
I might agree if this was obsession with National Security in peace time without provocation. But having seen the WTC fall from up close as 3,000 people were being murdered, and knowing that I could be one of them, I think it would be insane not to be worried about National Security.
So I wouldn't concede that one either. It's "0" for Nitwitia.
Red Square, I would think as our fearless leader you would be first to understand that we should obey the whims of the progressives, for they have our best interests at heart. I for one welcome our new overlords.
Alva is right in one thing - most dictionary definitions are biased. Especially when using the term "right-wing." Whatever it used to mean in the Old World, in today's America, right-wing means standing for individualism, prvate property, small government, and capitalism.
A more objective and scientific definition/description of fascism, one that's not conforming to the expectations of the Nitwitian girls with kaleidoscope eyes, should include fascists' preferences for
1. belief in the big benevolent government as the caring Big Brother (statistm)
2. one-Party rule with pretense elections (fake appearance of the people's power)
3. planned (command) economy
4. massive welfare based on the government's unrealistic promises to take care of everyone
5. 100% employment as part of the welfare package (you must work whether you want it or not)
6. resulting coercion of businesses by the government redistribution of wealth
7. little respect for private property
8. view of nationalization of resources and industries as a solution to economic problems
9. collectivist ideology (subjugation of the individual to the collective)
10. moral relativity (good and bad are not absolute values but fluctuate depending on what is deemed good or bad today for "the people's cause" as defined by the opinion makers in the service of the leader)
11. cult of the leader
12. reliance on "junk science" to justify the morality of current policies
13. the resulting corruption (cronyism, nepotism, black market, bribes, money is replaced by favors, barter, and privileges, such as, access to the trough of the distribution system)
14. the need for scapegoats to blame for such system's inevitable failures (Jews, capitalists, rednecks, Americans, etc.)
and so on.....
These features are common in both officially "fascistic" and "socialist" regimes.
Mussolini was born in the village of Dovia di Predappio in the province of Forlě, in Emilia-Romagna on July 29, 1883 to Rosa and Alessandro Mussolini. He was named Benito after Mexican reformist President Benito Juárez; the names Andrea and Amilcare were for Italian socialists Andrea Costa and Amilcare Cipriani. His mother, Rosa Maltoni, was a teacher. His father, Alessandro, was a blacksmith who often encouraged Benito to disobey authority (other than his own). He adored his father, but his love was never reciprocated. Like his father, who was a member of the first Socialist International, Benito became a socialist. He was not baptized as a child.
During the 19th century, the bundle of rods, in Latin called fasces and in Italian fascio, came to symbolize strength through unity, the point being that whilst each independent rod was fragile, as a bundle they were strong. By extension, the word fascio came in modern Italian political usage to mean group, union, band or league. It was first used in this sense in the 1870s by groups of revolutionary democrats and socialists in Sicily, to describe themselves. The most famous of these groups was the Fasci Siciliani during 1895–96.[1] Thereafter, the word retained revolutionary connotations. It was these connotations which made it attractive, for example, to young nationalists of leftist background who demanded Italian intervention in World War I. The fasci they formed were scattered over Italy, and it was to one of these spontaneously created groups, devoid of party affiliations, that Benito Mussolini belonged.
A bundle of rods sticking together. That's the essence of collectivism. One bunch against another bunch. Doesn't this situation remind you of all the various "independent" leftist groups like "United for Peace & Justice," etc. Or like "Impeach For Peace?" Mussolini wrote a novel, Hitler painted pictures, and Mikael Rudolph was a mime.
Nowhere in this situation you will find the fascists' preference for capitalism, all of them coming from the ranks of socialist revolutionaries. The Left's favorite stand of equating capitalism and fascism is fake, disingenious, and is below any serious criticism.
Alva's quotes from Mussolini stating that fascism is a complete opposite of socialism remind me of Lenin saying that the Mensheviks are a complete opposite of the Bolsheviks. Lenin reserved the worst words for their former Party comrades - in their eyes, the Mensheviks were even worse than the bourgeoisie. Stalin's worst enemy in the 1930s was not world capitalism - it was Trotsky, a communist!
That means we shouldn't take quotes by such partisan hacks as Stalin, Lenin, Mussolini, Hitler, and the like for granted. They all fought with each other for the same turf. They viewed each other as heretics distorting their own faith. Throughout history people hated heretics more than they hated those outside of their belief system. That's what all this mutual hatred between the "left" and the supposed "right" amounts to: they are the right and the left inside the same collectivist belief system.
Think of how narrow-minded one must be to assign roles to the American individualistic "right-wingers" from within this wacky socialist frame of references. Can the lefties ever imagine how big a world exists outside the illusionary walls of their voluntary ideological confinement? (Think of an angry partisan mime who can't break out of his invisible box). The Left appointed the song "Imagine" their anthem and they think it somehow makes them the most imaginative people by default. They think they have the monopoly on calling us "fascists" - while they themselves are rolling in a collectivist pile of old fascist poo believing it to be some progressive variety of a haystack.
Sorry guys, you have to look in the mirror more often.
Laika the Space Dog wrote
7.) Obsession with National Security (Point well taken Alva, I'll concede on this one)
I might agree if this was obsession with National Security in peace time without provocation. But having seen the WTC fall from up close as 3,000 people were being murdered, and knowing that I could be one of them, I think it would be insane not to be worried about National Security.
So I wouldn't concede that one either. It's "0" for Nitwitia.
After further review of play on the field, the original call still stands. 1 point is awarded to Nitwitia.
Of course it is insane not to be worried or obsessed with national security in these times that try men's souls (if they have any). What Mulva is equating is that only "Reich Wingers" actually care about such "silly, unprogressive and reactionary" ideas like protecting this country because to him, it's just not worth it. To him "America Sucks" so why defend it? So, yes, call it obsessive if he likes to, along with all the assorted tin foil hat moonbats. We'll just call it "Common Sense".
<character off>
Why is she on Hannity's show? she doesn't need the ink...hopfully she will show herself to be the Amerikkka hater she is.
<character on>
The signs of fascist stormtrooper activities on the left, as well as murderous aspirations and terrorist leanings are getting more numerous by the day.
Let's make a dossier under the name "When Liberals Attack" and perhaps write a new story that will include all these examples. It will be, of course, about the face of true fascism as it exists today.
Please post your examples there. Names, quotes, and links to articles.
The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans
of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent,
by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant
pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other -
until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's
official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand
Write down this number and report to your Kommissar at the nearest railroad station.
Don't forget warm clothes and a shovel!
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click here for the story Alabama gunman was trying to 'be more like Europeans' After shootings, EU threatens potential mass murderes with increased paperwork and red tape Oil prices rising; most viable solution is blame Limbaugh Obama to bring Cuba in from the cold; political prisoners to remain outside Healthcare crisis: Planned Parenthood forced to offer 2 abortions for the price of 1; 50% off if you refer a friend Hillary presents Russian Foreign Minister Lavrov with the People's Cube CLICK HERE FOR THE STORY Obama's Reaganesque address: "I've just declared peace on the Soviet Union. The bonging will start in five minutes" Satellite launched to confirm global warming: finds none, crashes in Antarctica in protest Al-Qaeda founder discovers DNC playbook, attacks own side in war an terror Obama to slash deficit after increase; firefighters to quench house after setting fire to it
Treasury Dept buys Monopoly board game for policy advice Democrats pay back their constituents, save faltering squeegee businesses from collapsing
Muslim group offended by pork hidden in stimulus package, threatens revenge Obama appoints guilt czar to oversee fair distribution of guilt among all Americans Size matters: stimulus package so big it won't even fit on Drudge No help from Obama to storm-ravaged Kentucky; officials consider renaming state to New Orleans in effort to get attention Politico: volcano trouble in Alaska a result of Palin's policies MoveOn adopts Bush's cowboy diplomacy: 'You're either with Obama or Rush' Obama urges liberals to start listening to Rush Limbaugh: 'all too often we start by dictating on issues and don't always know all the factors involved. So let's listen.' More bad economic news: area antiwar group lays off its bumper sticker makers Dissent no longer patriotic: Obama Reminder to Hollywood celebrities: must change 'patriotic' setting from 'hate America' to 'love America' on Jan. 20 Obama promises to Photoshop a better future for America You won't be told lies if you don't ask questions: Obama's new media policy Personals: senate seats available in NY & Il. Hardly ever used. Cash OK. Change we can believe in: Clinton 1990s staffers Somali pirates hijack international space station Starting with 11/5/08, the cor- rect progressive greeting in America is "Barack Obama!" The reply is "Obama Barack!" Laika the Space Dog consi- dered for new White House pet: "Thoroughly vetted by Bill Ayers" CHANGE: President-elect Obama crushes Yankee imperialism in a landslide
Seven Obama cousins found living in voting boothUS choppers attack ACORN voter registration center in Syria US military: We decided to strike now because this time next year we’ll be a Peace Keeping force Biden predicts severe test for Obama in first six months: another question from Joe the Plumber Obama: Let he who is without wealth cash the first check! Joe Biden: work is a four-letter word
FBI investigates Mickey Mouse Club for voter fraud Embarrassed ACORN accidentally registers 'Ronald Reagan' Kids' hymns to Obama a success of Democrat strategy: If you can't abort them, indoctrinate them World to USA: 'Fix world ecomonic crisis so we can get back to hating you' Obama's campaign invites opponents to play 'Truth or Jail' Biden: Hoover text-messaged Americans to calm fears during 1929 crashDead support Obama, all are registered to vote by ACORN Biden calls taxes patriotic Study: Jesus spoke without a telepromter Obama promises free lipstic for everybody if elected KARAOKE: These Are The Jerks We Call Journalists Obama's negotiations with Gustav prove fruitful; storm spares "French Quarter" Feminist group: Sarah Palin worst mother since June Cleaver; decried as "too feminine" Obama: leave Bristol alone, she has been punished enough with a baby Putin shoots tiger with Polonium-laced dart Obama: ready from day one to place a call to UN if a US city is nuked Cult of personality at the People's Cube is up 90% compared to previous Five-Year Plan Congress established windfall tax on US gold medals International Olympic Committee to redistribute Phelp's ill-gotten golds to less fortunate athletes Obama beats Hillary to coveted CPUSA endorsement February 2050 declared White History Month. Future headlines expected to read "Minorities hardest hit... and deservedly so." Obama denounces Russia's actions; humbled Russia sends self to Gulag US trade deficit dropped; NYT instructs readers to turn paper upside down for more favorable view of graph Sharpton protests disproportionate deaths of Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes, calls for immediate deaths of David Letterman and Billy Joel to even score Science to unveil invisible cloak; Conservative White Christian male in NJ says he's been invisible for years NYT: Russia's invasion of Georgia leaves much smaller carbon footprint than US invasion of Iraq Larry the Cable Guy issues call to "man the pick up trucks" as Russia invades Georgia Edwards claims he was having affair with camera, didn't notice woman attached Chavez's parents cut off Hugo's credit card after Moscow shopping binge Oil industry to Pelosi: You've been given a brain. Use it or lose it. Congress to declare July 19th International Swimmers' Day
How many superdelegates does it take to change a lightbulb? Photoshopped Iranian missile saves 25% on Islamic Republic's carbon footprint
Word of the day: HUSSIES n. Female Obama supporters changing their middle names to HusseinObama: we have always been at peace with Hillary ClintonGrand Rapids Mayor George Heartwell vows city will be "vanilla" when rebuilt Media grows impatient with Iowa's lack of flood-related rapes and pillaging: Why can't they be more like New Orleans? CNN investigates Iowans caught blowing FEMA debit cards at Tractor Supply Company Obama: WTC problem ended on 9/11, Pentagon still a problemHillary supporters organize against Obama Janet Reno congratulates Elian Gonzalez on joining Cuba's Young Communists
Dick Durbin denies that being Hell's spokesperson and moonlighting as a Democrat Senator presents a conflict of interest Flooding in Iowa causes typical white people to turn bitter and cling to evacuation procedures Democrat energy policy: let them eat cake Monica Lewinsky endorses Obama: 'This is not the Bill Clinton I knew' NASA unveils 'ass-crack' space suit for plumbing repairs at int'l space station Dead people at Obama's rally identified as a renegade splinter group of Hillary's 'invisible Americans' Howard Dean: dead people will vote Democrat no matter who gets the nomination Mainstream media silent on increased attacks on US troops by mainstream media Sen. Kennedy under treatment. Mary Jo still dead Muanmar drafts Mayor Nagin and Gov. Blanco to help with cyclone clean up New Orleans Mayor sends school buses to Myanmar As Darfur violence surges, world vows not to give a crap unless the US gets involved Chinese citizens crushed by bricks and rubble; tanks have day off
Friendly fire: BBC office hit by al-Qaeda rocket Al Gore knows what caused Burma cyclone but won't say it International community promises to suspend anti- Americanism until after American aid reaches Burma Mainstream media saddened that Austrian pedophile isn't a Catholic priest, a Baptist minister, or a GOP senator
North Korea's nuclear technicians protest outsourcing jobs to Syria Earth Day: save the planet, starve the children! Focus group: if water boarding was a sexual preference, they'd be teaching it in public schools Study: Wall Street losses unfairly target the rich Mixed month for MTV: teen pregnancy drops, however STDs are on the rise Obama pledges to give every typical small town family a possum sandwich Delays at American Airlines: a sneak peak into proposed government healthcare Stop and smell the Sharpies Obama: baby is punishment; tax increase is bundle of joy Media: this year's Global Bad News Awareness week to overlap with International Good News Obliviousness month NPR journalists go on truckers-style protest over high price of lattes Most popular April Fools joke: "A Democrat president won't raise taxes" Obama denounced extreme statements in Osama's new tape but urged voters to listen to the entire message before making judgment Obama's speech calls for change in stereotyping "the typical White person" Spitzer denies applying hardball tactics in front of bathroom mirror and threatening to come after himself New York State House retires Spitzer's #9 jersey KKK endorses Harvard's gym segregation policy: 'Blacks and Jews are next' London quake caused by SUV, now impounded by Scotland Yard Hillary's healthcare plan to include smelling salts for Obama's supporters and mandatory amputation of Chris Matthews' leg USMail Service to publish Obama's resume on new stamp Obama: one man's plagiarism is another man's audacity Candidate Barry O'Bama to court Irish vote Berkeley ousting US Marines gives hope to al Qaeda: 'If hippies can do it, so can we!' Berkley builds wall around self; man trying to flee 'Peace Sanctuary City' shot at checkpoint John McCain apologizes for going to Vietnam, earns Jane Fonda's endorsement To avoid scorn and ridicule, Tom Cruise converts to Islam NY Times: Backward, close-minded, inbred southern hicks vote for Obama NY Times: All the news that's fit to pimp Dems offer first female for President, first Black for President, first pretty pony for Attorney General Brokeback Mountain loses climber NASA's Spirit Rover finds Dennis Kucinich campaign on MarsLas Vegas: candidates offer plans to bail out flustered gamblers Feds: subprime borrowers' relief package to include subprime rib Silence in Cuba: Castro too ill to speak in public, Cubans too afraid to speak Dems adopt old British "don't mention the war" strategy for '08 campaign Obama's 'Take a penny, leave a penny' economic plan sparks new hope Obama's campaign hires homeless people to talk about change on street corners Panhandlers Union endorses Obama's plan for change Al Gore's children receive carbon credits for Winter Solstice Holiday Democrats call for troop surge in the War on Bush Murtha: if we quit now, capitalism will win Pelosi declares she likes class war, pledges to stay the course Expert blames Republicans for not attacking all Democrat candidates equally High school Meth teacher starts new class Holy Mitt! Violence in Iraq down 60%; media stories reporting this down 6000% Imus covers all bases by hiring undocumented-Black- Jewish-homeless- transgendered-vegan- disabled-obese-Kartina- victim as a sidekick Poll: most Muslims find curvature of Riemannian manifolds offensive "How The Grinch Redistributed Winter Solstice" opens on Broadway Left-wing bloggers hold vigil hoping suspect is connected to GOP candidate Hostage situation expected to be politicized in the next 20 minutes "Mall security" takes over operations in Baghdad New study suggests that 1 US gallon of Latte is 170 times more expensive than 1 US gallon of Regular gasoline. Al Gore sterilizes self to protect planet: 'Having children is selfish' NY Times: some news is fitter to print than others Study: most Americans will be worried about economy if told so often enough Musharraf changes name to Chavez to avoid being called "dictator" by MSM and Democrats in US Congress Media changes old adage "no news is good news" to "no good news is news" US Congress extends hurricane season until the first Sunday in November Lack of bad news from Iraq causes media recession. Women and minority journalists hardest hit. LA Times drops term "wild" describing fire, uses "undocumented" fire instead USA Today: big fires are getting bigger, small fires are getting smaller Reid: Global Warming caused fire by overheating arsonist's head, provoking delusional paranoia MoveOn.org pressures Congress to stop fighting fire and bring firemen home Reid: The war on fire is lost Pelosi: The number of fires has gone up since we started fighting fire Kerry: If you don't do well in school you'll get stuck fighting fire in California NY Times: Fighting fire creates even more fires Harry Reid auctions clothes, furniture, car on eBay in effort to make millions off his name. "If Limbaugh can do it so can I." No takers so far. Princess Leia Organa presents the Alderaanian Medal of Honor to Al Gore Did Che Guevara descend from Prophet Mohammed? San Andreas Fault in California preemptively renamed George Bush's Fault Media Matters editor blows self up over Limbaugh's 'bomber' remark End of Ramadan brings new rioting season to France Harry Reid bangs shoe on table: "We will bury you!" Dutch follow Ahmadinejad's lead, declare "there are no dykes in Holland" Ahmadinejad to Amerika: "Don't tase me, bro!" Bomb Girl and Taser Boy sell rights to their characters to Marvel Comics Cindy Sheehan hires Bomb Girl and Taser Boy as image consultants CBS stands by firing of Dan Rather: "He couldn't tell our logo from a hole in the ground" Jessie Jackson on Obama: "too White." Obama on Jackson: "I'm a smoke dat biatch if I see him"
Tasered victim at John Kerry's speech to receive Purple Heart Mugabe blames Zimbabwe's meltdown on Global Warming To stomp out possible confusion, MSM changes spelling of Obama to Ubama Craving acceptance from liberals, General Petraeus gains 300lbs and debuts report at Cannes. George Soros stops funding Democrats, converts to Islam Edwards: 41% of American children don't have lawyers John Edwards proposes "single payer" trial lawyer insurance for all, mandatory pre-jurisprudence care Illegal aliens kill people Americans won't killDemocrats select 2008 presidential slogan: "Death to America" Larry "Happy Feet" Craig uses Michael Flatley's Riverdance defense "Americans Coming Together" admit they had timing issues Presbyterian clergy issue fatwah calling for Pope's deathNew Jersey teen cracked iPhone with his face Vick awaits doggie-style welcome in prison Rock star behaves like rap star: huge media outcry China's recall of defective Daily Kos bloggers causes suicides among Democrat strategists Al Gore to recall the Internet Media declares September National Bridge Awareness Month First New Orleans, now Minnesota: Anderson Cooper travels up the Mississippi without a paddle Ray Nagin pledges to build a chocolate bridge instead William Jefferson spotted under collapsed bridge retrieving mystery package Cannibalism, rape, looting, republicanism rampant in Minneapolis Lindsay Lohan to enter astronaut training program Nigeria's plan to nationalize local spam industry sparks massive riots in Lagos
Democrat Congress's two major victories: minimum wage increase and al-Qaeda's restored operating capability London Mayor Livingston mandates Sharia law at nightclubs to prevent further bombings Taliban spokesman blames media bias as civilian deaths from US air strikes grab headlines: "Taliban has murdered thousands of civilians and we can't even get mentioned on Countdown with Olbermann. What gives?"Back alley massage parlors now offering "better ending than Sopranos" Bush to close Gitmo, detainees released into Mexican custody to be put on fast track to US citizenship
Study: Dan rather still unable to tell the difference between Paris Hilton and Katie Couric Civil war in Gaza: if it's not in Iraq why report it? US media increasingly impatient at lack of civil war in IraqUS Embassy in Syria warns of sex attacks. So how long will Bill be visiting for? Delighted Dems: "The surge has failed!"MSM spokesman: There are no civil war clashes in Gaza! Palestinians still wonder why their real civil war can't knock Iraq "civil war" off the front page As Albanians welcome Bush and show love for USA, NY Times offers them free subscriptions to "solve problem" Paris gets out of jail faster than an illegal immigrant Socialist utopia takes foothold in Venezuela as water cannons salute victory Pelosi: "I've seen climate change." John Fogerty of CCR also wants to know "if she's ever seen rain" Democrats call for troop withdrawal from Jersey Harry Reid: "Troop presence in New Jersey creating more terrorists" French riot police deployed as open minded, tolerant socialists expected to react to election results Progressives concerned with Sarkozy's "extremist agenda " of rule of law and assimilation to French culture Dems: War needs deadline; only social policies can run indefinitely Sheryl Crow to wipe out global warming one butt at a time Va Tech lessons for MSM: must ban guns, rich kids ACLU calls for calm, fears backlash against innocent gun owners: 'all gun owners aren't terrorists' Liberal groups join gun tolerance and awareness workshops Gun owners converting to Islam in droves to ward off profiling Sharp jump in number of 'non-decapitated' babies following Supreme Court decision Sharpton makes a list of 57 Don Imus sympathizers on public airwaves Al Gore and John Kerry agree: people who live in greenhouses should not expel noxious gases Al Gore hired by K-Y to pro- mote Global Warming Jelly New study shows Earth's 'fever' contagious; Mars asks planets to kick 'Greenhouse Mary' out of solar system Schumer demands Karl Rove be indicted on 1976 parking ticket Al Qaeda reacts to Schumer attack: "Thank Allah we're not Republicans!" Dems: Khalid Sheik Mohamed just watched too many episodes of 24 and made all that stuff in his confession up Fitzgerald to prosecute Ann Coulter for disclosing identity of presidential candidate John Edwards Following Scooter Libby success, media demands journalists be included on all future juries Kent State professor calls for bin Laden victory: time to bring in the National Guard again? Hollywood to America: our moral issues are better than your moral issues Obama promises to "purge himself" if he loses to Hillary to spare the public a lengthy trial House vote: Insurgents react with non-binding IED Democrat leaders don't support terrorists but they support their mission North Korea agrees to nuclear disarmament, media hails Madeleine Albright Bush: I support Democrat majority - but not their mission Is it time for Pinochet yet? Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History
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It turns out this was said by Adolf Hitler in a speech of May 1, 1927 (Quoted by Toland, 1976, p. 306) We'll just add to this that May Day was also an important holiday in the Nazi Germany.
That is why it is so important for the progressive propagandists to be secretive about Hitler's belief in the collectivist principles of socialism. Hitler must be left out of all discussions about THE COMMON GOOD™ because someone might actually connect the dots and realize that the wars, the looting, and the slaughter of innocents that Hitler initiated were caused, in fact, by his selfless desire to advance the collectivist principles of socialism - much like Lenin, Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot, Ho Chi Minh, Castro, Che Guevara, and other heroes of the progressive community.
Experts: assassin hid bomb in anal cavity adjacent to brain
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Al-Qaeda founder discovers DNC playbook, attacks own side in war an terror
Murtha: if we quit now, capitalism will win
New Jersey teen cracked iPhone with his face
MSM spokesman: There are no civil war clashes in Gaza!
Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History
