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Image Frequent computer crashes happen because people press the W key too much. That key had been removed from all White House keyboards on my orders! Every time you press a W key, Bush knows what you're thinking... Also don't listen to static in your phone - you never know who may be playing with your brain. Some folks did that and wound up voting for W.

- Al Gore, People's Inventor

Unprecedented PROOF that Global Warming does exist

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Genetic mutations prove global warming is real.

Originally the enigmatic Smurfs were a relatively benign civilization.

As AGW increased (see the unimpeachable hockey stick graph)
The mutations of the once beloved Surfs has transformed into a totally alien race.

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Whenever some denier points to all the snow on the ground as proof there is no AGW I set him straight. That's just the dust from collapsing glaciers. Now excuse me, I have to go throw another squirrel on the fire, my fingers are numb, my teeth are chattering and my skin is turning blue from all this climate change.


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Al Gore wishes this message be broadcast over all Party telescreens: My gratitude to Comrade Child of Chernobyl for inspiring my new book and movie, "Smurfs in the Balance." Please send my Oscar and Nobel Prize to the usual place. -AL

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And the Smurfs, who were a proud people, then were invaded by evil white imperialists, whose ways were moronic, and who were really inferior to the native Smurfmorphs, in spite of their hubris.

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I apologies for my ignorance. I'm afraid I could not find a wikapedia entry for
Smurfmorphs, heck I can't even get my face to say smurfmorphs.

I remember when I was in high school and if I had a Hot date that night, I'd usually get blue balls if I couldn't get a home run.

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So if I misunderstand you correctly. I may have my antecedent mixed up with my predecessor? Hmmm….. So AGW didn't cause the blue mutation the color blue is causing AGW. If that is proven to be true then a major re-education campaign needs to take place. This is where science and religion collide I'm afraid. In order to reduce the blue ball phenomenon and in so doing reducing global warming the female of the species must how does one say this put out? It that what you are saying? An excellent observation.

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Oh as long as we are on the topic of blue.

Beware the Blue M&M
https://zurfeld.blogspot.com/
Beware the Blue M&M
Beware the Blue M&M: What the Federal Government doesn't want you to know about the Blue M&M. (as related to me by Dr. Zurfeld T. Cunningham)


Disclaimer: This monograph makes no claims or accusations for or against the Mars Candy Corporation and or the federal government. This information is simply to inform and communicate the seriousness of this situation.

On first examination one would not consider this particular confection a detriment to ones current situation or well being. Upon further examination and reflection it is obviously apparent or apparently obvious that this delicious treat does contain a harbinger of ill will and suspect use by entities as of yet still unidentified. This hopefully brief monograph will elucidate some further insight into this serious conflagration sweeping the nation.

Historical Perspective
The blue m&m first made its debut 1994 after an erroneous marketing campaign purported to let the world “pick” a new color. Sources close to the Mars organization have revealed that this decision was destine from the beginning. This color substitution marketing campaign was created to reactivate an insidious program that was de-railed due to the controversial great Red Scare of the 1980's -- when fears of the carcinogenic properties of Red dye No. 5 led to a several-years-long wholesale removal of red M&M's from the M&M nation. Make no mistake, the ferocity in which this program was conceived, was and is still determined to fulfill its ultimate diabolical outcome. To that end the establishment of a new “chosen” color allowed for the infiltration of this clandestine program back into the mainstream of American and world society.

Unknown Questions
The fundamental question still remains, why would this “black ops” organization pursue such a nefarious operation? What motivates these shadowy individuals into action? Could it be Roswell or Area 51? This information as related to me by the ignominious Dr. Zurfeld T. Cunningham reveals a shocking look at what lengths this unknown organization is willing to go to in order to achieve their objective.

Creation and Operations
Blue M&Ms have been genetically altered, some reports say that illegal cloning technology was used, in order to provide elctro-bio-organic emanations that can track and record the movements of any citizen who unwittingly consumes these confections. Extensive use of geosynchronous satellite surveillance apparati and ground based down-linked communications listening posts are manned twenty four hours a day seven days a week three hundred and sixty-five days a year. A staff of unknown size has at their disposal endless computing resources in which to fulfill their ultimate goal. Additional resources are brought in by means of black helicopters when suspected “hot spots” are requiring closer examination. This Herculean effort has been undertaken under the guise of ensuring the health and welfare of the general citizenry when in actuality this program is striking at the very heart of our civilization.

Rational
By making use of this unassuming morsel individuals who consume the Blue M&M are currently being tracked and monitored by this rogue outfit. Purportedly the ultimate conundrum pursued by this organization is to ascertain to exact location of Elvis.
Knowing that “the King” reportedly had an aversion to “blue food” (credit here given to George Carlan) this operation is based upon the process of elimination. Having the ability to account for the whereabouts of an entire population will allow the commanders of this program to exactly pinpoint the exact location of their quarry.

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Comrades,

Does this mean that Blue is the new Green, which was the new Red? It's like I'm going color blind.

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You never heard of the rainbow Coalition?
Oh wait am I being racist?

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Leninka wrote:And the Smurfs, who were a proud people, then were invaded by evil white imperialists, whose ways were moronic, and who were really inferior to the native Smurfmorphs, in spite of their hubris.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this the synopsis of the movie?

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Yes, it is, Comrade Olga, we can't have enough evil white men are bad, primitive natives are good movies. We must vilify the white man until he no longer exists, and I hope, at least, during Dear Leader's reign, that not a single white man will be allowed at the lunch counter. It's a glorious goal.

Comrade Chernobyl,

Smurfmorph is a term that was created here at the People's Cube as a result of a post made by Comrade Chernobyl entitled "Unprecedented PROOF that Global Warming Exists."

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Thank you for the clarification a truely sylaphonomic advancement.

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Comrades, we must protect these mutated smurfs. I demand equal rights for them, seeing especially as they are smarter then us. They've managed to make so much use out of so little, and leave as little a carbon footprint as possible.

Let us not invade them, but practice good diplomacy, let us learn from them, practice their ways, and live in a harmonized society with the mutated smurfs, so as another species doesn't suffer such a horrible mutation again.


 
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