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Muslim-Friendly TV Line-up & Permissible Music
By Groupthink
12/8/2006, 11:11 pm



Once the Democrats take charge in January, bring the troops home, and appoint Jimmy Carter to keep America safe, we must be prepared to submit to Sharia Law pretty quick.

It will not be voluntary - but it can be made smooth and painless with the use of re-educational TV programming.

The American masses won't even notice the transition, just like they didn't notice the transition to socialist values in the past, due to the masterful work of mind-conditioning experts at all progressive media channels.

To that end we recommend this...

Sharia-friendly Winter TV Line-up:

~
Saturday Night Fatwa
Jihadists and Jesters discover common identity as they shower each other with killer fatwas, gut-busting tenets, and sidesplitting prophecies

Dune
Candid camera on top of a dune in the Arabian Desert. Watch the sand move. Fascinating. (Live)

My Mother The Car Bomb
Situation comedy where a man's dead mother is reincarnated as an old-fashioned, quirky, fun-loving car bomb. Teaches the values of spreading the faith by the sword.

Crappy Days
Teenage friends ensure Sharia Law is enforced throughout their sleepy little mid-western town. Good role models for young Madrasa students.

Saynfaald
Sitcom about nothing (other than the benevolence of Allah). Four friends make their way through carefully censored sketches of Muslim culture in Sharia-ruled New York.

72
Forget Jack Bauer and 24, the hottest thing on Islamovision is 72 virgins! Al Jazeera's new show in which special al-Qaeda operative Jafeer al-Baar must travel to 72 countries and blow up 72 public places within 72 hours in order to get to meet with 72 virgins. Rated "F" (family show). See TRAILER.

Really Desperate Housewives
After Zulfia has her clitoris not-so-surgically removed she decides to become a suicide bomber

Hamascide
Life on the Gaza streets

Lebanese Home Makeover
Courtesy of the Israeli army's bulldozer. Starring Flat Fatima with her all-Zionist work crew

American Infidel
The winner gets his head sawed off

Clerics Drawn Together
Without Danish cartoonists, praise Allah

Dead or Not Dead
Can you pick the dhimmi that will not be beheaded?

Sunni Toons
Starring Baghs Bunny, Dhimmi Duck, El-Elmer Faad, Pope is Pig, The Roadbomber & Mufti Coyote, and Abu Le Pew

Other recommended programming:

  • The Antique Roadsidebomb Show
  • Sharia Law & Order: Special Jihadi Unit
  • Grey's Anatomy Modestly Hidden Behind Burqa
  • America's Next Top Spiritual Leader
  • Everybody Loves Ramadan
  • Survivor: The West Bank
  • Sadr Trek
  • Wahhabi Five-0
  • Francis The Talking Mullah
  • Queer Eye? You're A Dead Guy
  • Malcolm In The Middle East
  • Leave It To Allah
  • World's Funniest Home Martyrdoms
  • Who's Wife Is It Anyway?
  • Who Wants To Behead An Infidel?
  • Pimp My Carpet
  • Mullah Knows Best
  • Friday Night Prayers
  • The O'hajj Factor
  • Ayatollah In Chief
  • World's Wildest Religious Police Chases
  • All In The Wali
  • ER (Exploding Radicals)
  • Osama Family Ties
  • How I Stoned Your Mother
  • Sabrina The Teenage Wife
  • I Dream Of Dhimmi
  • Halal And The City
  • Guiltmore Girls
  • Voyage To The Bottom Of The Dead Sea
  • Sleepless In Somalia
  • Buffy The Zionist Slayer
  • The Fugitive (Cartoonist)
  • Nip/Tuck Presents: Unsightly Neckline Removal

Mandatory programming for children

  • Terrortubbies
  • Al-Doura The Exploder
  • Bi-Curious George
  • Spongebob Squaretunic
  • Winnie The Pooh-Pusher

Non-Offensive Karaoke:

Permissible Music Videos:

  • Allah Want Is You - U2
  • Imposing My Religion - R.E.M.
  • Smoke On The Border - Deep Purple
  • I Write The Watwas - Barry Manilow
  • Baby You Can Dry My Carpet - The Beatles
  • When Will I Stone You Again? - The Supremes
  • When Sheep Cry - Prince
  • Everything I Do, I Do It For Ummah - Bryan Adams
  • Since You've Been Bombed - Rainbow
  • Please Appease Me (Oh yeah, or I'll bomb you) - The Beatles
  • With or Without An Entry Visa - U2
  • Like a 72nd Virgin - Madonna
  • You Interrogated Me All Night Long - AC/DC
  • Nobody Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor
  • Every Hajj You Take - The Police
  • Don't Stop Believin' in Allah - Journey
  • Sloop Bombed Me - Beach Boys
  • Under International Pressure - Queen & David Bowie
  • Allah Wants It That Way - Backstreet Boys
  • Crash Into Minaret - Dave Matthews Band
  • (You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (To Wear a Burqa!) - Beastie Boys
  • Smells Like Quarantine Spirit - Nirvana
  • Sweet Goat O' Mine - Guns N' Roses

Educational Songs From Motion Pictures

  • The Shadow of Your Husband - Johnny Mandel
  • Sheiek to Sheiek - Fred Astaire
  • Hair Beneath My Armpits - Bette Midler
  • Jihad Will Go On - Céline Dion
  • When You Wish Upon A Koran - Cliff Edwards
  • People (Who Need To Convert Other People) - Barbra Streisand
  • Rock Around the Mosque - Bill Haley and the Comets
  • Let's Call the Whole Truce Off - Fred Astaire
  • Suicide Mission is Painless - Johnny Mandel
  • Some Day Mahdi Will Come - Adriana Caselott

The above recommendations have been developed with the help of the People Cube's Groupthink members who picked their personal brain units and copy/pasted their findings, reminding us of what already existed in the depths of our collective consciousness.


 
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By Prof Peter Kurgman, PhD^3
12/9/2006, 8:48 am


Rachel Corrie by Simon and Garfunkle?

Sorry, I only listen to the genuine article by Billy Bragg.
 
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By Laika the Space Dog
12/9/2006, 11:58 am


Thanks Dr. Kurgman.

Now I want to go find Billy Bragg and pull a Bluto ala "Animal House" on him and his guitar. It's so nice he didn't have any praying (preying) Imams on his flight that would have disturbed his muse while writing that piece of shit. Arrgggh..that was just pathetic. If anybody listens to that whole song, they're a masochist.
 
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By Matthew Rakosi
12/9/2006, 3:59 pm


This songs are brilliant! It is a new step toward the victory over the christianfascist/WASP/retrograde rightist republiKKKans! Congratulation!
 
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By Comrade Che Cure Booty
12/11/2006, 1:45 pm


Did Laika wake up on the wrong side of the capsule this morning?

Comrade Bragg's stirring tribute to Comrade Corrie made me weep.  I haven't been this moved since I saw  a "Bless the Beast and the Children" and "Billy Jack" double feature.

Does anyone have any contact information for Comrade Bragg?  I now truly believe he is the only person capable of doing justice to a ballad about the Wisconsin Four.
 
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By Red Square
12/11/2006, 3:23 pm


www.billybragg.com

Comrade Bragg is definitely our material. Laika and Otis - take notice of his song "wonderfully titled I Wanna Be a Cosmonaut" below.

BIO: www.billybragg.com/biography/index.html

Quote
Billy Bragg was described by The Times newspaper as a ‘national treasure’. In the two and a half decades of his career Bragg has certainly made an indelible mark on the conscience of British music, becoming perhaps the most stalwart guardian of the radical dissenting tradition that stretches back over centuries of the country’s political, cultural and social history.

Bragg was born in December 1957. He was thus 19-years-old when punk made its indelible contribution to English popular culture, in 1977. Bragg’s own particular contribution was to form a band called Riff Raff, who released a series of indie seven-inch singles including the wonderfully titled I Wanna Be a Cosmonaut.



 
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By Dr. W. S. Palimpsest
12/11/2006, 5:01 pm


The Party will always appreciate billy's rousing musical reworking of Eugene Pottier's glorious Internationale:

Verse 1
Stand up, all victims of oppression,
For the tyrants fear your might!
Don't cling so hard to your possessions,
For you have nothing if you have no rights!
Let racist ignorance be ended,
For respect makes the empires fall!
Freedom is merely privilege extended,
Unless enjoyed by one and all.

Chorus
So come brothers and sisters,
For the struggle carries on.
The Internationale,
Unites the world in song.
So comrades, come rally,
For this is the time and place!
The international ideal,
Unites the human race.

Verse 2
Let no one build walls to divide us,
Walls of hatred nor walls of stone.
Come greet the dawn and stand beside us,
We'll live together or we'll die alone.
In our world poisoned by exploitation,
Those who have taken, now they must give!
And end the vanity of nations,
We've but one Earth on which to live.
(Repeat chorus)

Verse 3
And so begins the final drama,
In the streets and in the fields.
We stand unbowed before their armour,
We defy their guns and shields!
When we fight, provoked by their aggression,
Let us be inspired by like and love.
For though they offer us concessions,
Change will not come from above!
(Repeat chorus)
-----------------------------------------

*Sniffle, wimper, sniffle*  Oh, it's just so moving! Comrades, please pardon my moment of lachrymation...  Could someone pass me a piece of People's Tissue to wipe the tears away.
 
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By Chairman M. S. Punchenko
12/11/2006, 9:02 pm


Here Dr. P, it may be used and have a dash of snot on it -- but all the same it is a People's Tissue (I know, its made of conflict silk. I demand the finest! I demand it!). I can only pray/send good energy to Stalin above and can only hope Mr. Bragg will also influence a modern reindition of China's own anthem -- Tian Han's The March of the Volunteers:

Arise! All who refuse to be slaves!
Let our flesh and blood become our new Great Wall!
When the Chinese nation faces its greatest peril,
Let us expend the last cry!
Arise! Arise! Arise!
May our million hearts beat as one!
Brave the enemy's fire, March on!
Brave the enemy's fire, March on!
March on! March on! On!
 
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By Premier Betty
12/11/2006, 10:21 pm


Quote

March on! March on! On!


I didn't know it was March already....
 
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By Red Square
12/11/2006, 10:41 pm


On the egalitarian Party calendar, Betty, every month is March. Just like all squares on the Cube are red.

Equality for all seasons!

End the discrimination of dates based on the time of year!

 
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By Chairman M. S. Punchenko
12/12/2006, 12:02 am


Every month is March, and every March first becomes May first in order to have May Day.

NO BLOOD FOR DATES! EAT OATMEAL FOR PEACE!
 
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By Premier Betty
12/12/2006, 9:28 pm


Quote

NO BLOOD FOR DATES! EAT OATMEAL FOR PEACE!


Correction, eat soy products for peace.

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=53327

 
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By Chairman M. S. Punchenko
12/12/2006, 11:22 pm


I can compromise, how about soy oatmeal? Huh? Is that good?
 
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By Premier Betty
12/13/2006, 1:03 am


Soytmeal, yes that does seem like the perfect food for the liberals to be consuming. A flavorless, substance that slowly reveals the feminine side of you while at the same time doubling as a life partner, or at least until the divorce.
 
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By Comrade Kadar
12/18/2006, 1:06 pm


Dear Comrade Rakosi! I am very happy to see you on this site of proletarian fraternity! I know, we had serious debates in the past, but let's forget it! Now we are facing the dangerous republiKKKans, zionists and neocons, so we must unit! Your old comrade:
                                       Janos Kadar
                                       Former Chief Secretary of the Hungarian Socialist
                                       Workers' Party
 
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By Commissar Theocritus
12/19/2006, 12:52 am


Premier Betty! Don't you know that liberals eat underwear lint and the shit comes out their mouths? They're plumbed backward. And they don't have any balls either. Just a lot of brass.
 
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By Chairman M. S. Punchenko
12/19/2006, 1:06 am


Rakosi owes me MONEY! Comrade Rakosi, I have yet to recieve the much needed membership dues that ARE REQUIRED by all new Party members. Comrade Kadar, this also applies to you as well.

You both owe me around one million (1,000,000,000) in USD.

This cost covers...

-One vinyl Party Membership booklet and brass Party pin

-One slightly used shovel

-One poorly insulated boot (for Gulag use only)

-One W.H.O.R.E ribbon that is to be displayed on lapel at all times.

-One subscription to the NYT and one slightly used tin-foil hat (to recieve transmissions from Laika, you silly nillys!)

Commissar Theocritus is an excellent example of a useful idiot. Not only is he heavily medicated and completely out of his/her/its mind; he also got me the money, in cash mind you, to a safe disclosed location outside of Georgetown, IN A TIMELY FASHION! And this is why he was promoted to Commissar and The Peoples Uncle Arthur.

Now then boys/girls/its, I will accept an apology and will forget about your dues ONLY if you bring more fellow travelers to our progressive pages of peace and enlightenment. Since you obviously can't afford the membership dues, I am certain you can throw that responsiblity on the back(s) of some other poor hapless sap.

--Meowsevich
 
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By Commissar Theocritus
12/19/2006, 2:11 am


Chairman Punchenko, I humbly suggest that your pecker would no more rise on contemplation of the steatopygic Empress than mine and so that makes us either both its or either people who don't like to screw something outside our species.

But speciesism must cease and desist instantly. The Pink People's Party of the RepubliKKK did not tell you that the price of the money I got to you outside Georgetown was that you explore, for the greater good of the People, the inner recesses of Our Empress.

Afterward, as she smokes a cigarette with her trotter, you'll be required to paint her hind trotter nails pink.

In a color specially chosen to bring maximum People's Disrepute on people who disparage Theocritus.
 
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By Chairman M. S. Punchenko
12/19/2006, 2:19 am


I know, I know -- I do paint her nails from time to time. But I do it of course for the Common Good and to support my extravagant elitist lifestyle. You would be suprised to know what Dr. P or Laika do for Her Excellency, but I'm sure young ear may be nigh, so I will not go into detail of such horrors. But I commend you Commissar Theorcritus for giving up your millions in poetry winnings, Nobel Peace prizes and royalties from your literary masterpieces in order to better advance my picky taste in furniture, clothing, food, cars, hookers, booze and all the other necessities that are needed for a Party Chairperson to survive. I thank you!

Cheers! *Clink* (Ahh yes, the sound of conflict crystal clinking in a long lasting frienship!)

SAVE DARFUR, STOP THE PURCHASE OF CONFLICT DIAMONDS! BAAHHHHH!
 
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By Commissar Theocritus
12/19/2006, 7:16 am


Great Chairman Punchenko. Please do not think that I have sacrificed; it only other peoples' money--a mindset I learned from Our Empress. After all, if it comes from the sky like rain, why not enjoy it? And you can't make clouds feel the pain and you can the proles, er the people whom we are leading to a better life, now that we're cooking with gas. Cooking the proles with gas.

The money comes to easily to me. I shall confirm a suspicion that you have had for years: that popular fashion is a joke perpetuated on straight men by gay ones. But it is, in fact, worse than that. I am single-handedly responsible for the styles of Britney Spears, Madonna, and all the rappers born and unborn. I take the most credit for rap. It is utter shit, doggerel that I saw on bathroom walls while friends of mine (never me!) were doing disreputable things in public venues. I paid Hammond to enlarge on the rhythm b*x in their organ and got people to mumble nasty graffiti to it, while jerking around and pointing fingers like someone with a nervous disorder.

I found that if they looked real serious and mean, stupid people mistook it for art and paid lots of money for it, money that they could have spent on groceries, which meant that the Glorious Peoples' Revolution could fix that by taking money from people with better taste.

See how simple it is? And I get 5% every time someone otherwise unemployable rhymes "fuck" with any other word. And 10% for every collander-shaped bra made out of felt looking as though it was extruded from a pastry bag.

But I did draw the line at one thing. In furtherance of the Glorious Revolution, it was asked of me, owing to my, er, difference, that I aid Michael Moore. I didn't have to paint his nails, but I was supposed to feed him. Considering that he regularly eats two normal people every day, even I could not stand the idea of turning into a full-time charcuterie even to feed our of our Great, Michael Moore, who has done even more than Oliver Stone to lie.
 
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By Comrade Kadar
12/19/2006, 12:53 pm


Chairman Punchenko!
We are trying to do our duties, but-and I think you understand it-we don't like spending our own money, so first we have to raise taxes. And I will also try to bring some comrades to this site, like Comrade Jaruzelski from Poland.
Best progressive wishes: Janos
 
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By Chairman M. S. Punchenko
12/20/2006, 3:03 am


Commissar Theocritus wrote
I take the most credit for rap. It is utter shit, doggerel that I saw on bathroom walls while friends of mine (never me!) were doing disreputable things in public venues.


Commissar Theocritus, I see we share George Michael as a mutual friend! MARVELOUS!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Comrade Kadar, I completely understand. All you had to say was "
Chairman Punchenko, I'm rich. I don't have any money to spare!". So I accept your excuse and look forward to meeting the complete Hungarian Delegation. I'm sure you have fantastical stories to share about the progress being made in Hungary.

Cheers! *clink*
 
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By Commissar Theocritus
12/20/2006, 3:21 am


George Michael, the Dancing Queen, pace Abba, had another contretemps in a London Park after she, er, he was caught taking his pleasure in a public venue in Los Angeles with people watching through a glory hole. I suppose that's what they they are; I can't imagine any other use for them. No doubt that's why one is supposed to see waggling fingers through them if one is actually the sort of person who would go into such places. Fortunately the limit of my outre behavior was a bug-eyed queen standing in his underwear in an El Paso hotel parking lot, holding up his hand like Moses parting the Red Sea, his eyes visibly rolling under the shut lids, and while I drove past at high speed, him tugging at the door handle of my Supra while Mexican children wet themselves laughing. That was after he tried to murder me with a bourbon bottle because I wouldn't let him, her, it, that thing into my life to arrange it to suit him. And that, comrades, is my exposure to seedy life. Well, one or two other small things.

Back to Miss Michael. Look at that 5:00 shadow; even Helen Thomas' makeup couldn't cover that up. And look at the man he was consorting with. Now that's high. I'm surprised that they found any cannabis left in his car. It would have taken me a pound to get that desperate and then I'd be passed out.
 
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By Chairman M. S. Punchenko
12/20/2006, 3:30 am


George and his life-partner helped re-decorate my Dacha twice in the past month. At first it was Ok until I found large wads of money stolen and my whores whining to me how their makeup and expensive Dior gowns were raided. Ugh, makes me sick to see people steal other peoples stuff when they damn well know how pricey it is! I haven't talked to George since and have alerted the ACLU that he is contemplating on becoming a heterosexist again. That'll teach em! Commissar Theocritus, never feel ashamed about your seedy, vulgar, down right sick and debaucherous alternative life-style. We are not here to judge your life-style. We are here to exploit it and turn it into a social cause to generate campaign contributions.
 
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By Commissar Theocritus
12/20/2006, 3:38 am


I blush to say it, noble Chairman Puchenko, but in truth I lead an utterly blameless life and it is only the telling which is bawdy. But that will not keep me from lying with both fists, just to get in practice. Every day I a drink a toast to Slick Willie, praying to the Father of Lies that 1/100 of his ability to avoid the truth, to shade his utterances, to evade, misdirect and suborn will pass to this humble servant of the People.

And for his master lie: Chelsea. All of this time he persuaded us he is a 10th degree horn dog and father of Chelsea but anyone with an eye knows that Chelsea is the by product of the time that Hillary slept on the wet spot between her and Janet Reno and a 1954 pick-up truck with arc-welder.

Hear and believe, oh noble Chairman. Every pod of Lesbians has access to at least one arc welder. In the richer suburbs of Midland they come from the Nieman Marcus Christmas catalogue, encrusted with diamonds. But the are fun girls, though; if one of them is red-headed she can change your oil in five minutes. And you've never had your oil changed quite like that, I'll bet. Might change your luck. Me? All that leg hair turns me off.
 
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By Chairman M. S. Punchenko
12/20/2006, 3:50 am


Ahh yes, I can only hope or Muslim liberators will be kind to our butch bimbos. They bleed so much for the revolution! Why, just the other day I happened to stumble upon one digging through the garbage in search of some ladies bra. I tried to start a pleasant conversation but she/he instead sneered at me and began lunging toward my face with a sharpened hunting knife. I shouted "Miss, please! Let us be reasonable, we are all registered Democrats!". She laughed, grunted and then began to cut of my pinky finger while telling me outdated Ellen DeGeneres jokes. I uttered the name Anne Heche, and that was when she began sawing off my index finger as well. I managed though to reach the hospital and informed the police it was a church goer who viciously assaulted me. The police believed the tale and called me in a limo to drive me home. So yes, I have great respect for lesibians and hope there are some programs fit for them in a new Sharia ruled AmeriKKKa.
 
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By Commissar Theocritus
12/20/2006, 8:02 am


Chairman Puchenko, please note that Anne Heche is not a force to reckoned with in the dyke world: she left a woman for a man and had a baby with him. Properly speaking, all dykes do it another way and Hallmark now has a line of father's day cards addressed to turkey basters. It is no wonder that the dumpster-diving dyke lunged at you.

In my situation I know some forward thinking diesel dykes who are planning for Sharia rule. Their premier fashion accessory maker, Snap On Tools, is coming out with a line of burkas in fetching flannel, and it is possible that there will be an exception found in the Koran for dykes with enough hormone therapy to grow a beard. In that case she will be able to wear the normal jeans--with a comfortable ass, and drillers' boots. And she will be able to drive, for how else would UPS get its parcels delivered?

This is, by the way, a different form of beard entirely than one I have used in the past. How odd to wear one and pay for dinner for another. And, here's the shocker, with the understanding that I would be rewarded for buying dinner, tickets, driving and opening doors, with the strict understanding that there would be no sex afterward.

I drew the line at decorating their apartments though.
 
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By Comrade Kadar
12/20/2006, 12:22 pm


Chairman Punchenko, as Comrade Rakosi wrote, there is a great progress in our country. There are two major parties and both are socialist. The only thing I'm worrying about is that we haven't got such a wonderful organization like the ACLU. They're doing a good job in AmeriKKKa, but we Hungarian progressives also need an ACLU(or HCLU). Many people say "Merry Christmas" and many shops are provocatively decorated, and this is just wrong. But, in our country there is a free socialist health care system(or, as your Comrade Kennedy once said, Medicare for all) and we are member of the marvellous Eurabian Union, which has got a very good ideological-religious background based on socialism and Islam. So on the whole we are a lucky nation.
 
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By Red Square
1/19/2007, 2:33 pm


We just expanded on the description of the "72" mini-series above (thought I should let you know):

72
Forget Jack Bauer and 24, the hottest thing on Islamovision is 72 virgins! Al Jazeera's new show in which special al-Qaeda operative Jafeer al-Baar must travel to 72 countries and blow up 72 public places within 72 hours in order to get to meet with 72 virgins. Rated "F" (family show). See TRAILER.
 
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By Dr. W. S. Palimpsest
1/19/2007, 6:03 pm


As one of the founders of Islamovision Productions, the creative arm behind 72, I'm here to tell you that this show is "must-see" TV - in other words, on the nights that the show is televised, our "Party Caterers" will forcibly enter your home, set your tubes to the correct channel, and then literally "rivet" you to your seats.  Complimentary Victory Gin will be issued to those who cooperate.  Those who don't...  Well, that's another story.  

So how does our hero, Jafeer, get from El Salvador to Sri Lanka in just one episode?  That's the question on everyone's mind.  Tune in and find out.
 
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By Sister Massively Opiated
1/20/2007, 3:04 pm


     

Iran's Next Top Martyr
Winner walks the catwalk before self-detonation

I think you have forgotten a couple shows. I can't wait for Iran's Next Top Martyr. A group of women compete for the chance to win a trip to the western country of their choice where they will visit a crowded mall and self-detonate. Each episode a panel of celebrity judges, including a weekly guest cleric, vote one of the women off the show for being the most brazen, after which she is take to a local soccer stadium and the guest audience stones her to death. When only one contestant is left, she is fitted with a vest-bomb, flies to the infidel nation of her choice, and goes to the most crowded mall where she is crowned Iran's Next Top Martyr. The show culminates with her pushing the button.


Perhaps this will be the first brazen whore to be voted off the show and stoned to death - she clearly wishes to flaunt her beauty in order to lead the pious astray.

This contestant vows that if she is the winner, she will cultivate a uni-brown in order to dissuade undue attention from male infidels and the pious alike.


Also added to the spring schedule is the Canadian smash hit, Little Mosque on the Prairie, a CBC (Communist Broadcasting Corpse) production. How much better can family entertainment get?

 
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By Commissar Theocritus
1/21/2007, 12:21 am


This is a change in the table d'hote for the CBC. I had thought that they only made movies about young homosexual men who fled intolerable lives in repressive provincial towns to move to less repressive but utterly anonymous Canadian cities, there to take up residency with other young homosexual men who fled repressive provincial towns but who had, to support living in an anonymous Canadian city, taken to selling their bodies and--here's the shocker--buying drugs with the proceeds.

To continue in the miscegenation of differing threads, as I speak I am listening to the Saint-Saens Organ Symphony, one of my favorites. It helps that I was once a decent amateur pianist and played the organ (pipe is understood) in college. And never forget that although I am a strange man, I still have in full force that male desire for buttons to push. When I am going strong, I command at one time a full quarter of the electrons in the earth's mantle. That is why your computer was on the rag. I did it, without meaning you harm.

And you might try some Bach by Fabio Biondi of Europa Gallante, to be had from amazon.com. Verve is the label. The energy is infectious and these days I am no longer as orthodox as before. A friend in college, when I complained of the odious Apollo 2000's abortion of "Jesu" said that they had done worse to "Take Five" and that Bach can fight back.

But Nine Inch Nails? Whippersnapper. Well, from the free 30 seconds on iTunes, I can see it's better than country...
 
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By Laika the Space Dog
1/21/2007, 6:50 am


Wow, this "Little Mosque on the Prairie" is really weird, considering the serious nature of what Western Civilization is up against. I watched the trailers and the humor is quite dark if you take a momemt to really think about it.
The show is about de-sensitivation. After all, Mooselims are known for their great sense of humor around the world.
It's so funny you'll laugh your head off...if you don't, some jihadi will help you.

Hey Red, didn't the Soviets have a show called "Little Gulag on the Tundra"?
 
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By S.A.F. Marshal Pravda
1/21/2007, 9:06 am


Theocritus proclaimed:
Quote

But Nine Inch Nails? Whippersnapper. Well, from the free 30 seconds on iTunes, I can see it's better than country...

hmmm...I don't suppose you've given any consideration to Johnny Cash, have you? If not, I definitely recommend the old stuff...he's a genius and a one-of-a-kind human being...not that I'm an authority on CW or anything...I've just recently been investigating my dearly departed father's favorite music, and I can tell you that some of the classic CW greats are pretty cool indeed...my roots are in rock (almost all types) I grew up in L.A. within easy driving distance of some of the best live venues in the world, and I took fairly good advantage...BTW George Szell and The Cleveland Symphony Orchestra pwn Beethoven's nine symphonies...I still have the vinyl collection from the '70's lol.
JMHO
 
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By Sister Massively Opiated
1/21/2007, 10:42 am


Commissar Theocritus wrote
This is a change in the table d'hote for the CBC. I had thought that they only made movies about young homosexual men who fled intolerable lives in repressive provincial towns to move to less repressive but utterly anonymous Canadian cities, there to take up residency with other young homosexual men who fled repressive provincial towns but who had, to support living in an anonymous Canadian city, taken to selling their bodies and--here's the shocker--buying drugs with the proceeds.

You've just described the lives of every single one of my gay friends, except that none of them are crack whores...
Commissar Theocritus wrote
To continue in the miscegenation of differing threads, as I speak I am listening to the Saint-Saens Organ Symphony, one of my favorites. It helps that I was once a decent amateur pianist and played the organ (pipe is understood) in college. And never forget that although I am a strange man, I still have in full force that male desire for buttons to push. When I am going strong, I command at one time a full quarter of the electrons in the earth's mantle. That is why your computer was on the rag. I did it, without meaning you harm.

Do you have a boyfriend? One of our closest friends - part of our family, really - is a great organist and choirmaster, one of the most brilliant people I've ever met, and founded the Canadian textile museum after travelling the world and studying the anthroplogy of textiles, as well as collecting them... he's got an encyclopedic knowledge of history, anthropology, politics... music... he's brilliant, and ascerbic and witty...
Commissar Theocritus wrote
But Nine Inch Nails? Whippersnapper. Well, from the free 30 seconds on iTunes, I can see it's better than country...
Having grown up on the prairies, I can't listen to C&W, except Johnny Cash and Patsy Kline - I get this almost irresistable urge to stick a fork in my eye when I hear it since I lived among those who listened to only two types of music... Country.... and Western... for so long... Johnny Cash did a cover of a NIN song, Hurt, before he died... My favourite C&W song is called, "I Still Miss You, But My Aim Is Getting Better".
Bvt. Field Marshal Pravda wrote
hmmm...I don't suppose you've given any consideration to Johnny Cash, have you? If not, I definitely recommend the old stuff...he's a genius and a one-of-a-kind human being...
He was at that... the equivalent of naive art in the beginning, because he was self-taught and it grew out of his mother's love of hymns.  That's why he was so good - cause he was being so honest.

Laika the Space Dog wrote
Wow, this "Little Mosque on the Prairie" is really weird, considering the serious nature of what Western Civilization is up against. I watched the trailers and the humor is quite dark if you take a momemt to really think about it. The show is about de-sensitivation. After all, Mooselims are known for their great sense of humor around the world. It's so funny you'll laugh your head off...if you don't, some jihadi will help you.

Thankfully, almost nobody watches The Corpse... they had a strike last year and weren't producing anything new and therefore relying on old old shows... and their ratings tripled... that just about says it all... they are irrelevant to most Canadians, and those who like this show are the choir that the Corpse preaches to anyway... If someone blew them up on the subway in Toronto on their way to work tomorrow, they'd be the ones interviewed leaving the smoking subway tunnel, telling the reporter that it was their own fault that Jihadists tried to blow them up...
 
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By Commissar Theocritus
1/21/2007, 11:28 am


Sister Massively Opiated wrote
You've just described the lives of every single one of my gay friends, except that none of them are crack whores...

A road I could have taken but did not (not the crack whore, of course), knowing that I could not be a man of two halves. It literally nearly killed me but was worth it. I found that the pieces of gold paid to Charon are much less than those paid to avoid the trip across the Styx, in every way, and I have several fingers bitten off by Cerberus. Still, in this case, and perhaps only in this case, the end justifies the means. But that's another discussion.

Sister Massively Opiated wrote
Do you have a boyfriend?
No, no boyfriend. I have had one serious one, as opposed to wannabes who were really opportunistic infections, and he was an old college friend, whom I returned to the store over 20 years ago. He thereupon entered the seminary but it didn't take and I had more sympathy than before for the Jesuits' desperate need of manpower to take someone who was, to me at least, mildly sociopathic. Not, you would think, a personality trait you want in a priest. But then I had more personal knowledge. Through him I met another friend, Ed, who is now a Catholic priest in El Paso and with whom I had supper last week, and whom I like enough that I do not sharpen my claws at his expense. It is my contention that priests, and not just Ed, do not really understand the Biblical definition of faith and I know of no better definition. (Years ago, while searching for meaning about god, I read C. S. Lewis' Screwtape Letters and recently it struck me that, properly viewed, I could be an agent of Wormwood. An amusing thought.)

I may have to try some Johnny Cash, although a part of me, perhaps an immature part, tends not to care about lyrics. It is I suppose part of my resistance to poetry, and I've quite literally read more Latin verse than English, but, struggling with the syntax and grammar and vocabulary, it cannot be called reading poetry. I do not like words being forced into musical rhythms, and am just enough beef-witted, and West Texan, to look askance at things which are not very plainly stated. Yes, I know.

But I do like some of the great torch songs--Porter et al--and perhaps the difference is the performance. Nadia Boulanger, the Parisian teacher of Stravinsky, said that art is the slave of technique and until you understand that, you will not understand art. Which cuts both ways: I find it very difficult to get past an indifferent medium to a message, even if it is a good one. Shallow? Perhaps. True? Yes. C'est la vie. C'est la musique.
 
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By Laika the Space Dog
1/21/2007, 12:33 pm


Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up Jihadis

by Willie Nelson and Laika The Space Dog



Terrorists ain't easy to love and they're harder to hold.
They'd rather give you a bomb than diamonds or gold.
Suicide bomb buckles and old faded kaffiyehs,
And each night begins a new day.
If you don't understand him, an' he don't die young,
He'll just hack your head away.

Mamas, don't let your babies grow up jihadis.
Don't let 'em bomb cafes or explode them old trucks.
Let 'em be imams and mullahs and such.
Mamas don't let your babies grow up jihadis.
'Cos they'll never stay home and they're always alone.
Even with those virgins to love.


Terrorists like smokey old road bombs and clear mountain hideouts,
Little warm AK's and cell phones and hijacked flights.
Them that don't know him won't like him and them that do,
Sometimes won't know how to take him.
He ain't wrong, he's just different but Islam won't let him,
Do things to make you think he's right.

Mamas, don't let your babies grow up jihadis.
Don't let 'em bomb cafes or explode them old trucks.
Let 'em be imams and mullahs and such.
Mamas don't let your babies grow up jihadis.
'Cos they'll never stay home and they're always alone.
Even with those virgins to love.

 
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By S.A.F. Marshal Pravda
1/21/2007, 1:55 pm


Quote

Johnny Cash did a cover of a NIN song, Hurt

The video won best video that year at the Country Music Awards...it's pretty earie.

Laika:

Brilliant!  salute!

The lady who cuts my hair is a 1st cousin of David Allen Coe. She told a story of visiting him when she was 16 (forbidden to do so by her parents, as David was truly the "black sheep of the family, shocker!). Goes to his Dallas home unannounced, David answers the door, and with him were....Willy and Waylon...all 3 drinking and smoking in the jacuzzi.
 
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By Sister Massively Opiated
1/21/2007, 2:29 pm


Laika the Space Dog wrote
Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up Jihadis
by Willie Nelson and Laika The Space Dog

I am both awestruck and shamed... your talent eclipses all but the Party... Bravo! BRAVO!!
 
Reply with quote

By Laika the Space Dog
1/21/2007, 2:58 pm


Quote

....Willy and Waylon...

Quote

David Allen Coe

Now yer talkin' Pravda. Can't stand all that new Nashville shit, it all sounds the same and I don't like the attitude. Gimme Outlaws and some good tequila or bourbon. I miss Waylon. David is funny as all hell. I'm a big Jerry Jeff fan too.
Love Gram Parsons and the Byrds when McGuinn went country...actually I like all the Byrds....Faron Young.....and yes, Hee-Haw. Jamboree in the Hills and the Capitol City Music Hall is just 40 minutes away. Shook hands with Bill Monroe. Love Del and the Boys.
Seems all the Rednecks and Cowboys live in my neck of the woods. I have a buddy who lives in the Big D and he says there are more gun racks, ten gallons, and Rebel Flags in Western PA than Texas. Hank Jr. considers Pittsburgh his second home. Welcome to the Capital of Appalachia.
Snowin' today...got a fire goin' and Jim Croce (a PA boy) on the turntable....I cried when he died. You have no soul if you don't like Jim.
 
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By Red Square
1/21/2007, 3:42 pm


All further discussions of Country-Eastern and Laika's rendition of the Jihadi Green-neck national anthem to be conducted here:
http://www.thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=1059

(it's now in People's Karaoke)
 
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By Sister Massively Opiated
1/21/2007, 4:02 pm


Laika the Space Dog wrote
Quote

....Willy and Waylon...

Quote

David Allen Coe

Now yer talkin' Pravda. Can't stand all that new Nashville shit, it all sounds the same and I don't like the attitude. Gimme Outlaws and some good tequila or bourbon. I miss Waylon. David is funny as all hell. I'm a big Jerry Jeff fan too.
Love Gram Parsons and the Byrds when McGuinn went country...actually I like all the Byrds....Faron Young.....and yes, Hee-Haw. Jamboree in the Hills and the Capitol City Music Hall is just 40 minutes away. Shook hands with Bill Monroe. Love Del and the Boys.
Seems all the Rednecks and Cowboys live in my neck of the woods. I have a buddy who lives in the Big D and he says there are more gun racks, ten gallons, and Rebel Flags in Western PA than Texas. Hank Jr. considers Pittsburgh his second home. Welcome to the Capital of Appalachia.
Snowin' today...got a fire goin' and Jim Croce (a PA boy) on the turntable....I cried when he died. You have no soul if you don't like Jim.

Okay, okay... the 'outlaws' are acceptable and don't require eye-forking...  I concede... it's the contiguity to blues that makes them acceptable... the top 40 crap that they call "New Country" is what makes me consider self-mutilation...

... I'm surprised no one mentioned Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens) given this thread... which kinda segues nicely into James Taylor... oh... what Laika could do to a James Taylor tune... or for that matter, reworking the lyrics to Peace Train... How 'bout "I've Got a Thing About Seeing My Grandson Grow Old... except he blew himself up"... "... or "But I Might Die Tonight... cause I'm wearin' a bomb".
 
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By S.A.F. Marshal Pravda
1/24/2007, 5:45 pm


Quote

... I'm surprised no one mentioned Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens) given this thread

...didn't he do "Piece Train"???
 
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By Sister Massively Opiated
1/24/2007, 5:50 pm


Quote
...didn't he do "Piece Train"???

P-i-e-c-e-s Train... Big Bloody Meaty Pieces Train...
 
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Candidate Barry O'Bama to court Irish vote
Berkeley ousting US Marines gives hope to al Qaeda: 'If hippies can do it, so can we!'
Berkley builds wall around self; man trying to flee 'Peace Sanctuary City' shot at checkpoint
John McCain apologizes for going to Vietnam, earns Jane Fonda's endorsement
To avoid scorn and ridicule, Tom Cruise converts to Islam
NY Times: Backward, close-minded, inbred southern hicks vote for Obama

NY Times: All the news that's fit to pimp
Dems offer first female for President, first Black for President, first pretty pony for Attorney General
Brokeback Mountain loses climber
NASA's Spirit Rover finds Dennis Kucinich campaign on Mars

Las Vegas: candidates offer plans to bail out flustered gamblers
Feds: subprime borrowers' relief package to include subprime rib
Silence in Cuba: Castro too ill to speak in public, Cubans too afraid to speak
Dems adopt old British "don't mention the war" strategy for '08 campaign

Obama's 'Take a penny, leave a penny' economic plan sparks new hope

Obama's campaign hires homeless people to talk about change on street corners

Panhandlers Union endorses Obama's plan for change

Al Gore's children receive carbon credits for Winter Solstice Holiday
Democrats call for troop surge in the War on Bush
Murtha: if we quit now, capitalism will win

Pelosi declares she likes class war, pledges to stay the course
Expert blames Republicans for not attacking all Democrat candidates equally
High school Meth teacher starts new class

Holy Mitt!
Violence in Iraq down 60%; media stories reporting this down 6000%
Imus covers all bases by hiring undocumented-Black- Jewish-homeless- transgendered-vegan- disabled-obese-Kartina- victim as a sidekick
Poll: most Muslims find curvature of Riemannian manifolds offensive
"How The Grinch Redistributed Winter Solstice" opens on Broadway
Left-wing bloggers hold vigil hoping suspect is connected to GOP candidate
Hostage situation expected to be politicized in the next 20 minutes
"Mall security" takes over operations in Baghdad
New study suggests that 1 US gallon of Latte is 170 times more expensive than 1 US gallon of Regular gasoline.
Al Gore sterilizes self to protect planet: 'Having children is selfish'
NY Times: some news is fitter to print than others

Study: most Americans will be worried about economy if told so often enough
Musharraf changes name to Chavez to avoid being called "dictator" by MSM and Democrats in US Congress
Media changes old adage "no news is good news" to "no good news is news"
US Congress extends hurricane season until the first Sunday in November
Lack of bad news from Iraq causes media recession. Women and minority journalists hardest hit.
LA Times drops term "wild" describing fire, uses "undocumented" fire instead
USA Today: big fires are getting bigger, small fires are getting smaller
Reid: Global Warming caused fire by overheating arsonist's head, provoking delusional paranoia
MoveOn.org pressures Congress to stop fighting fire and bring firemen home

Reid: The war on fire is lost
Pelosi: The number of fires has gone up since we started fighting fire
Kerry: If you don't do well in school you'll get stuck fighting fire in California
NY Times: Fighting fire creates even more fires
Harry Reid auctions clothes, furniture, car on eBay in effort to make millions off his name. "If Limbaugh can do it so can I." No takers so far.
Princess Leia Organa presents the Alderaanian Medal of Honor to Al Gore
Did Che Guevara descend from Prophet Mohammed?

San Andreas Fault in California preemptively renamed George Bush's Fault
Media Matters editor blows self up over Limbaugh's 'bomber' remark
End of Ramadan brings new rioting season to France
Harry Reid bangs shoe on table: "We will bury you!"
Dutch follow Ahmadinejad's lead, declare "there are no dykes in Holland"

Ahmadinejad to Amerika: "Don't tase me, bro!"

Bomb Girl and Taser Boy sell rights to their characters to Marvel Comics
Cindy Sheehan hires Bomb Girl and Taser Boy as image consultants

CBS stands by firing of Dan Rather: "He couldn't tell our logo from a hole in the ground"
Jessie Jackson on Obama: "too White." Obama on Jackson: "I'm a smoke dat biatch if I see him"

Tasered victim at John Kerry's speech to receive Purple Heart
Mugabe blames Zimbabwe's meltdown on Global Warming


To stomp out possible confusion, MSM changes spelling of Obama to Ubama
Craving acceptance from liberals, General Petraeus gains 300lbs and debuts report at Cannes.
George Soros stops funding Democrats, converts to Islam
Edwards: 41% of American children don't have lawyers
John Edwards proposes "single payer" trial lawyer insurance for all, mandatory pre-jurisprudence care
Illegal aliens kill people Americans won't kill
Democrats select 2008 presidential slogan:
"Death to America"

Larry "Happy Feet" Craig uses Michael Flatley's Riverdance defense
"Americans Coming Together" admit they had timing issues
Presbyterian clergy issue fatwah calling for Pope's death
New Jersey teen cracked iPhone with his face

Vick awaits doggie-style welcome in prison

Rock star behaves like rap star: huge media outcry
China's recall of defective Daily Kos bloggers causes suicides among Democrat strategists
Al Gore to recall the Internet


Media declares September National Bridge Awareness Month
First New Orleans, now Minnesota: Anderson Cooper travels up the Mississippi without a paddle
Ray Nagin pledges to build a chocolate bridge instead

William Jefferson spotted under collapsed bridge retrieving mystery package

Cannibalism, rape, looting, republicanism rampant in Minneapolis
Lindsay Lohan to enter astronaut training program
Nigeria's plan to nationalize local spam industry sparks massive riots in Lagos


Democrat Congress's two major victories: minimum wage increase and al-Qaeda's restored operating capability

London Mayor Livingston mandates Sharia law at nightclubs to prevent further bombings
Taliban spokesman blames media bias as civilian deaths from US air strikes grab headlines: "Taliban has murdered thousands of civilians and we can't even get mentioned on Countdown with Olbermann. What gives?"

Back alley massage parlors now offering "better ending than Sopranos"
Bush to close Gitmo, detainees released into Mexican custody to be put on fast track to US citizenship

click me

Study: Dan rather still unable to tell the difference between Paris Hilton and Katie Couric
Civil war in Gaza: if it's not in Iraq why report it?
US media increasingly impatient at lack of civil war in Iraq
US Embassy in Syria warns of sex attacks. So how long will Bill be visiting for?
Delighted Dems: "The surge has failed!"
MSM spokesman: There are no civil war clashes in Gaza!

Palestinians still wonder why their real civil war can't knock Iraq "civil war" off the front page
As Albanians welcome Bush and show love for USA, NY Times offers them free subscriptions to "solve problem"

Paris gets out of jail faster than an illegal immigrant

Socialist utopia takes foothold in Venezuela as water cannons salute victory
Pelosi: "I've seen climate change." John Fogerty of CCR also wants to know "if she's ever seen rain"
Democrats call for troop withdrawal from Jersey
Harry Reid: "Troop presence in New Jersey creating more terrorists"
French riot police deployed as open minded, tolerant socialists expected to react to election results
Progressives concerned with Sarkozy's "extremist agenda " of rule of law and assimilation to French culture

Dems: War needs deadline; only social policies can run indefinitely

Sheryl Crow to wipe out global warming one butt at a time

Va Tech lessons for MSM: must ban guns, rich kids
ACLU calls for calm, fears backlash against innocent gun owners: 'all gun owners aren't terrorists'
Liberal groups join gun tolerance and awareness workshops
Gun owners converting to Islam in droves to ward off profiling
Sharp jump in number of 'non-decapitated' babies following Supreme Court decision
Sharpton makes a list of 57 Don Imus sympathizers on public airwaves
Al Gore and John Kerry agree: people who live in greenhouses should not expel noxious gases

Al Gore hired by K-Y to pro-
mote Global Warming Jelly

New study shows Earth's 'fever' contagious; Mars asks planets to kick 'Greenhouse Mary' out of solar system

Schumer demands Karl Rove be indicted on 1976 parking ticket
Al Qaeda reacts to Schumer attack: "Thank Allah we're not Republicans!"
Dems: Khalid Sheik Mohamed just watched too many episodes of 24 and made all that stuff in his confession up
Fitzgerald to prosecute Ann Coulter for disclosing identity of presidential candidate John Edwards
Following Scooter Libby success, media demands journalists be included on all future juries
Kent State professor calls for bin Laden victory: time to bring in the National Guard again?
Hollywood to America: our moral issues are better than your moral issues
Obama promises to "purge himself" if he loses to Hillary to spare the public a lengthy trial

House vote: Insurgents react with non-binding IED
Democrat leaders don't support terrorists but they support their mission

North Korea agrees to nuclear disarmament, media hails Madeleine Albright
Bush: I support Democrat majority - but not their mission

Is it time for Pinochet yet?

see CITGO think HUGO CHAVEZ

Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History

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