Open letter #2 to Google from the People's Cube (posted on Google.com Help Center at 8:30pm on March 10, 2006
"Out of sight, out of mind" - translated into Russian and then back into English, the idiom turns into "invisible lunatics." That also describes The People's Cube's search results in Google.
Dear comrades at Google:
At some point, quite recently, our popular site "The People's Cube" (ThePeoplesCube.com) was purged from Google search results. MSN , Yahoo and other search engines still have it - but Google has erased/blocked any link to the site in its database. One can still find links to us from other sites - but not even one from Google to ThePeoplesCube.com. We tried American, French, German, British, Australian, and Russian versions of Google - they used to give us traffic only a few days ago - but all we got was the same line in various languages: Sorry, no information is available for the URL thepeoplescube.com. And if we clicked on Find web pages from the site thepeoplescube.com we got Your search - site:thepeoplescube.com - did not match any documents.
~
The first time we saw this line it was written in Chinese. We used to look up The People's Cube for fun in the communist-censored Google China only weeks ago - and reported it on our site in a story called Google's Great Leap Forward. Of course our site was blocked by the Chinese government, with Google's consent, along with legions of other Western sites - but we couldn't imagine that only a few weeks later we would get the same results in English. The last time we checked we still lived in the United States - not China - but hey, whoever controls the information is the boss.
If it were a glitch in an algorithm it might throw our rankings back to the end of the line - but this is a total removal. We suspect it is also a deliberate removal - much in the spirit of 1984-style historical revisionism - removal of a "people's enemy" from life and history. Sergei Brin's Russian parents might tell him stories of people in Stalinist Russia disappearing, along with all their pictures and records. "Out of sight, out of mind" - translated into Russian and then back into English, the idiom turns into "invisible lunatics." That also describes The People's Cube's search results in Google.
We can only think of three reasons for this:
Google is retaliating against sites that ridiculed its Google China project.
Google has begun to implement its Google China policies in the rest of the free world.
A left-leaning Google employee who's got access to the database was suffering a nervous breakdown over the mockery of Marxism on our site, and so he or she dastardly removed/blocked The People's Cube, hoping to "improve" the public discourse by silencing the competition.
You tell me which one it is.
The People's Cube is a business corporation selling products on the Internet. A drop in traffic, caused by a malicious tempering with search results, has affected sales and that gives us grounds for you-know-what.
We'll start by posting this letter on our site and wait for your reply. We'll gladly drop the matter and similarly drop this post into the "memory hole" if we get a quick response from you and our high rankings in Google get immediately restored. An apology would be nice as well.
If you can, we'd appreciate if you pass the following word to our former compatriot Sergei Brin: "Seriozhka, konchai duraka valat' - bylo vremia kogda my toboi gordilis'!" (Sergie, stop making a fool out of yourself, we used to be proud of you!)
Keep the Cube rolling, Comrade Red Square
APPENDIX I
Screenshots of search results in Google as of 03/08/06:
Google Purges Not that it ought to come as a surprise to anyone. Google is the same company, after all, that decided to roll over for the Butchers in Beijing and help the communist clownshoes oppress their people by filtering the ChiCom version of Google to eradicate criticism of the regime, all for an undisclosed number of silver pieces. But now they've taken it one step further and are purging sites from their database that mock leftism, not just in China but all over the world.
Google Purges People's Cube Has Google purged Marxist parody site The People's Cube from its search index? It certainly looks like it, while <em>jihad</em> sites openly advocating for Al Qaeda continue to be included, both in Google's search index and as legitimate news at Google News.
Update #3 March 13, 2006 - 12:30 pm
An overwhelming response to this story on the Web has prompted me to post this update:
<OFF CHARACTER>
I sent a letter to the few Google addresses I could find, but there was no reply. From my prior experience I know they wouldn't answer. If I were a "progressive, open-minded, scientifically-oriented" liberal, I'd immediately suspect an evil corporate conspiracy. But because I choose to live by reason, I tried to consider various technical and logical explanations for this. None seemed to work.
If these technical details are boring, please skip to the next paragraph. A glitch in an algorithm would throw the links back in ranking from #1 to #1000 - but this wais a total, absolute removal - including the cache. If I were to remove a page from the site it would still show up in Google for a few days or even weeks and I'd be able at least to view its cached image. The links and the page ranking would cease gradually over a few days, not abruptly and not simultaneously, world-wide. If some code change on my site would stop crawlers from visiting it, it would have similarly affected all other search engines, not just Google - which it didn't. And it would also be a gradual process - which it wasn't.
I know that in the past Google had quietly removed my friend's excellent satirical page from its database on request of "peace" activists who had been featured in it. The page was dealing with the lunacy of nude peace protests started by a Californian artist Donna Sheehan (relation to Cindy Sheehan is yet to be researched). It was a selected removal - one page out of many on the site - at the time when that particular page was beginning to get over a 1000 visitors a day due to its topical content. My friend complained to Google but never got a response. Later the page was restored in Google, but the timing was lost and the traffic never recovered. The page was killed - quietly and anonymously - by someone's invisible hand at Google. The suppression was discovered only because my friend had enough time on his hands to check live page statistics every hour. Who knows what and how many pages Google had deliberately killed without anyone noticing it?
About a year later Google stood on principle defending their refusal to remove Jew Watch from #1 position in their results for "Jew. " Maybe they were right to do that - but I wasn't impressed, knowing their sneaky practices in removing "incorrect" links in the past.
There are many indications that Google is a left-leaning group of people, including their cooperation with Chinese communists in filtering "incorrect" sites, their choice of Al Gore as Chief Advisor in 2001, and even the laughable title "You can make money without doing evil" on their official corporate page named "Our Philosophy" (implying that money is mostly made by doing evil, at least in this country).
Google will likely stonewall any inquiry into this, so it would be hard to know if that had been an official decision to "improve" public discourse by silencing the competition - or some left-leaning Google employee had simply volunteered to kill the site upon suffering a nervous breakdown over our mockery of Marxism.
Why the People's Cube? We weren't the only ones who mocked their Google China project. Google probably won't bother to pick on small blogs, and they won't dare touch well-visited anti-left sites like Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler, or Little Green Footballs - but a relatively new, medium-sized Cube is a convenient target. I can also tell from my personal experience that our satire disturbs the "open-minded" lefties on a much deeper level than a straightforward criticism of their ideology, and it causes a more violent reaction.
Another logical argument in favor of my theory is that it's hard to imagine a similar sabotage by Google happening to "progressive" web pages that compare Bush to Hitler, gloat over the loss of American life, or call to screw the Constitution and the people. Even if requests to suppress these pages existed, they'd be indignantly refuted by Google as attacks on free speech, with a subsequent PR campaign in the liberal media.
Google's seemingly goofy slogan "Don't do evil" sounds like a sinister warning once you discover that the evildoer is, in fact, you. Your work, the product of your mind constitute evil - and Google is morally obligated to stop you: Don't do evil - or else! It's noteworthy that the liberal media likes to badger "evil corporations" and expose warning signs of fascism, with their vigilant eye permanently fixed on the political Right. They either never look to the Left for the signs of danger, or they welcome it as a positive development.
</OFF CHARACTER>
-- Red Square
Update #4 March 13, 2006 - 12:30 pm
Michelle Malkin linked to the story, gave us even greater traffic than before!
At about 5pm the Google people finally figured out their damage control strategy (apparently upon consulting the Chinese Politburo). A Google engineer Matt Cutts posted on his blog an article displaying previously existing on the Cube invisible keywords and links to a few of my other sites. The keywords were relevant and were placed there only because Google does not factor meta keywords while indexing the pages. The hidden links were so few, they were hardly worth mentioning - especially that about half of them are explicitly displayed on the Cube anyway (Che-Mart, FCBC, CFK, Borat, etc.)
Bingo! That was Google's excuse for removing the Cube! What were the chances of that happening, out of a million sites that are forced to place invisible keywords to compensate for Google's deficiency? An email was sent to LGF and Malkin, demanding a retraction and siting Matt Cutts's blog - without mentioning his affiliation with Google - and that was how LGF posted it, and Malkin and others also easily gave in, accepting their story. It's now official: The People's Cube is a spammer!
Almost simultaneously, "concerned progressive trolls" unfolded a massive offensive on the Cube, flooding the thread with insults, gloating, and accusations most of which had been deleted - but some of them were kept for historical reference. Their major point was the "blatant malicious spamming with which I harmed the Internet and - oh no! - Google itself." From their tone one might think that I sided with a murderous dictatorship to make money on suppressing freedoms of a billion of people. Or was that Google that did that? It's unforgivable what the powerful overlord Red Square had done to a small, defenseless, and progressive search engine that could.
Apparently that is what Google calls customer service. They must have learned it in Beijing. There were seemingly unaffiliated volunteers as well. Let's just say that one of them started calling my web design customers (using the numbers he found on their websites) and telling them that due to their affiliation with the People's Cube their URLs would be removed from all search engines - unless they paid him $200 to prevent that. He also sent them emails. Here's one that my customer and friend forwarded to me:
From:hopeseekr@gmail.com To: [removed] Date: Mon, 13 Mar 2006 18:36:05 -0600 Subject: URGENT: Site about to be delisted from Search Engines!
Hello.
Your site is associated with peoplescube.com in a way that *will* get it banned, possibly as soon as tomorrow, from Google, Yahoo, and MSN search engines if immediate action is not taken to correct the illegal way in which your site was designed. I can do this for the nominal fee of $200 but you must contact me immediately!
After having done that, this concerned progressive citizen (who represents a Bush-bashing file-sharing website under the slogan "To promote freedom and fight fascism") returned to the Cube to insult me and gloat a bit more, stating that my behavior sickened him. I don't know what's scarier, the character of these "concerned citizens" or the fact that LGF, Malkin, and some others so easily accepted their line about Google being the good guy and I'm the evil, malicious spammer who deserves to have the People's Cube to be booted from the internet.
That's customer relations Google-style. They work, for now. I haven't received any response from Google in my mailbox yet.
Update #6 March 14, 2006 - 3:00pm
Laika the Space Dog writes a song Google Über Alles - you can now sing along to the inspiring music of world domination here >> (turn on your speakers - all the way!)
Update #7 March 14, 2006 9:pm
Days after a few people had forwarded me Google's responses to their requests regarding The Cube, Google finally sent me a measured response that reads as if it was written by a lawyer: "While we cannot comment on the individual reasons your page was removed, we'd like to assure you that we do not alter our search results based on political viewpoint or ideology." But "the individual reasons" is the key to understanding the whole removal business. The devil is in the details, comrades!
Update #8 March 17, 2006
Google restores The Cube in its index, as quietly as it had removed it. The page rank is not what it used to be, but if natural algorithms are allowed to run their course The Cube will be up at the top of search results as before.
We have also learned that "Google Inc.'s mysterious methods for ranking Web sites came under attack Friday in a lawsuit accusing the online search engine leader of ruining scores of Internet businesses that have been wrongfully banished from its index."
Ironically, government interference in running private businesses is the extension of "progressive" policies that Google's creators and their advisor Al Gore are currently promoting. If the lawsuit results in the government forcing Google to change the way it runs business, I hope the taste of their own medicine will bring Brin and Page to their senses and they'll think a little harder about what's progressive and what's not.
This is what I get when I search "thepeople'scube".
The same search in Yahoo! proudly displays thepeople'scube.com as the number one listing. Purged! blacklisted! expunged! But, The People's Cuba does sound like an intriguing site. Too bad it doesn't exist either!
Cloak your activities and information in terms of relgion. This is the now the most progressive method of establishing the revolutionary socialist villiage utopia and will guarantee global propagation by the dissemenation-insemination (Dis'em) organ (Gooogle).
See a current example of progressive totalitarian utopia organization promoted by the the Dis'em organ:
"AL-QAEDA sympathizers are using Orkut, a popular, worldwide Internet service owned by GOOGLE, to rally support for Osama bin Laden, share videos and Web links PROMOTING TERRORISM, and recruit non-Arabic-speaking Westerners, according to terrorism experts and a survey of the sites."
http://www.sci-tech-today.com/news/
Bin-Laden-Fan-Clubs-Go-Online/story.xhtml?story_id=022002GFF5Y4
Im sure you were banned cause someone complained to google or some lefty at google saw your sight. This is typical of leftists- rather than debate on the merits (which they can't win), they'd rather bury opposing views.
Dont worry, they won't get away with it this time.
I have found one search that'll take you to The People's Cube. If you go to Google Image search and search for the image - peoples cube - (not - people's cube - won't work with the apostrophe) one of the returns is Groupthink :: The People's Cube. This will take you to The People's Cube. Someone there at Google must have missed that one.
Meanwhile our traffic is down by about 50% thanks to the Google embargo.
PittsburghProletarian is correct - Google still linked to us on Friday morning, the stats showed about 100 hits from Google from yesterday - and then it suddenly stopped. By about 2pm none of the world's Google sites had any memory/cache of the Cube's existence left. Thanks again for alerting us, PittsburghProletarian! One can't overemphasize the importance of vigilance in class struggle!
A worthy commentary on this issue appeared this morning here:
http://omedalus.livejournal.com/23653.html
I don't know the author but he's pretty good (beside the fact that he's a Cube fan)
Quote
Now, let's put accusations of conspiracy-mongering aside and accept the fact that Google is a very Left-leaning organization. We know that, employee by employee, 98% of the 2004 campaign donations from the people that comprise Google went to Democrats. We know that Google Ads preferentially lists Democrat advertisements. We know that Google is willing to roll over for China and help them censor dissident websites but will fight tooth and nail against America's Federal Government in providing information to help combat terrorism. We know that Google News uses extreme (i.e. violent) Left-wing sites such as Electronic Intifata as newsfeed sources.
I recommend you read the whole thing - it's worth it.
WE are still free but not as free as others.
All is not lost, "thepeoplescube.com"can be found on Google. One must click on group, then enter "thepeoplescube.com". It is right there!
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You can still find references to the Cube on third-party sites even in regular search, nobody can remove that - but all DIRECT LINKS to the Cube in Google have been removed - and they used to be in abundance.
Emperor Misha was nice enough to post this story on his Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler at 2:17 pm today. It gave us more visits than what we otherwise lost with Google.
http://www.nicedoggie.net/2006/?p=376#comments
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Not that it ought to come as a surprise to anyone. Google is the same company, after all, that decided to roll over for the Butchers in Beijing and help the communist clownshoes oppress their people by filtering the ChiCom version of Google to eradicate criticism of the regime, all for an undisclosed number of silver pieces.
But now they’ve taken it one step further and are purging sites from their database that mock leftism, not just in China but all over the world.
The People’s Cube is the target right now, but one can only wonder when the Stalinist Sycophants start broadening the scope of their censorship.
And before anybody says “what’s the big deal?”, you’d do well to remember...
As funding outlays were planned and offered for its initial expansion - by Uncle G.S. and the other progressive billionaires so shall their funds come to the rescue of Goooglie -if needed.
Comrade H.R.C. has ordered a massive domestic village spying program - er - rather a massive data base containing all personal information about every American using internet data mining techniques via the world wide web and pioneered and already in use by Googgoolie. So it will not go away!
1) Charge $200/year for "Peoples Cube Select" subscriptions, and file lawsuits against everyone else who ever looked at this site. The added income will enable you to pay more in taxes and take your mind off of Google.
2) Change the name to "The People Scuba", and limit the content to the economics of scuba diving. Basically, there would be only one article: Scuba divers should pay more taxes. But its educational value would draw enough readers to make Google notice.
Change the name to "The People Scuba", and limit the content to the economics of scuba diving. Basically, there would be only one article: Scuba divers should pay more taxes. But its educational value would draw enough readers to make Google notice.
Good idea. But Comrade Otis suggested this:
Quote
- Google changes name to Gulagoogle
- Thepeoplescube.com changes name to SuperXXXPornSex.com - now back in Google's good graces
When I added this weblog on bloglines, it had a number of earlier posts with hundreds of sex site links. Was Google reacting to linkfarming?
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Yes, the Cube was being spammed but those posts were always being promptly deleted until I discovered a simple antidote that ended the spam without changing the coding - a week prior to being banned by Google. The ban was not gradual but sudden and world-wide. The connection is not likely.
About Bloglines: I had noticed earlier that Bloglines for some reason retained deleted spam messages in their cache forever, even if their actual life on the site was only a second. Hence the seeming abundance of them - while the site itself was clean. That's wrong as it defeats the purpose of moderating a forum. If I don't want spam, smut, or someone's idiotic opinions on my site, why should Bloglines display them? In any event, Bloglines didn't purge me - Google did. The spam you have recorded did not reside on my server, it was sitting on the Bloglines servers.
Spammers can really drag the site's ranking down, but going down to page 20 in results is not the same as a complete blocking of the URL which is the case here. I doubt that Google would ban the actual sites promoted by the spammers.
Spammers have attacked many sites. Have all those sites been "airbrushed" out of existence by Google? If that were true, spammers would have run out of victims by now and with nothing to thrive on would be dropping dead in a ditch. But they are alive and kicking. If my ranking in other search engines didn't drop one bit, why would Google go over the top unless there was something else?
"Don't do evil" is not just a slogan, Jummy - it's a warning: Don't do evil - or else! Google is morally obligated to stop you if you engage in evil thoughts as defined by their Chief Advisor Al Gore.
I believe it is possible that our fellow Marxists in the benevolent People's Republic of China and in the progressive and forward thinking Google may have blacklisted The People's Cube in error!
Yes, I know, Comrades: The State in its glorious wisdom does not err... unless it is fooled by the clever machinations of gluttonous capitalist lackeys of the oil barons and jingoist imperialist Republicans.
Comrades, I have awful news:
The People's Cube has been gaining some notoriety on one of the most horrible internet dens of decadent bourgois backwardness: www.freerepublic.com!
Be strong, Comrades! It gets worse: Those bootlicking tools of class warfare have put on an increasingly vocal and convincing show of APPROVING of The People's Cube! Many of those deviants known as FReepers are passing out the URL to The People's Cube as if it were May Day candy! There is even one foul creature over there who has appropriated MY VERY NAME and is openly promoting The People's Cube with such lies as "most brilliantly caustic *anti-communist/socialist/leftist* satire I have ever seen!"
That Racist Nazi BASTARD!
Given these events, this imperialist ruse, how could our Siblings in Struggle in the PRC and Google know that this was but some foul ruse? OF COURSE they blacklisted The People's Cube. If you were so wise as to be in the Politburo, would you do otherwise?
Comrades, Kommissars, Workers all!
I implore you, in the name of our glorious and inexorable march towards socialist utopia, stand as one! Blacklist Free Republic! Proscribe them! Let us show those smug class-enemies what it is to stir the wrath of Soviet might!
Google you gotta love their dictatorlicious ways! We all need to buy google shares and then sell them to small african children you know it makes sense
Don't jump on Acoona just yet. Considering its owned in part by the Chinese gov't I have a feeling this site (among others) will be missing from any search.
note, from discussion cited above: level of purge may be influenced by what brand of browser and OS you use. I note that on my home rig (win2Kpro+2yearold IE), google did pull up references to the Cube, whereas on the office rig (winXP + current IE) gets zero results... and one fellow on that thread said his ancient IE and win98 gets all the way to the Cube on a Google
Bill Clinton helps launch search engine China-backed Accoona claims better results than Google
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6666890/
Quote
NEW YORK - Former president Bill Clinton on Monday helped launch a new Internet search company backed by the Chinese government which says its technology uses artificial intelligence to produce better results than Google Inc.
"I hope you all make lots of money," Clinton told executives at the launch of Accoona Corp., which donated an undisclosed amount to the William J. Clinton Foundation.
If you click on the Accoona link you'll find 2 results for the Cube URL. Compare it to 446 results in Microsoft's new LIVE engine which I like a lot so far. And to 216 results in Yahoo.
I highly recommend meta engines like Ask or Dogpile or Profusion. I've been using them in place of direct engine searches since about 1999, and, although the late, lamented Infind has never been quite equalled (DAMN that was a good engine!), these are vastly above the industrial-sized shotgun blast of useless crap that is a typical Google result.
Further, they substantially reduce the power of any specific engine to restrict access with this kind of arbitrariness.
As far as Google itself is concerned, I've held them in abysmally low regard ever since the BS over Bowman's Brigade many an internet year ago.
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Those are two different domains and the links from peoplescube.com don't really exist - it's a weird google quirk. They simply redirect to the Cube's main page. It's also really classy on your part to come here to insult us and accuse of spamming while posting spamming links to your worthless sites. I put them in quotes to remove the links.
Your friendly SEO helper...add a link to my site please :O This is really valuable advise and most would charge you $100 an hour for it. You know? See xmule.ws for my contact info.
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I appreciate your concern. Maybe I'll do that later when the dust settles. Right now I don't want to change anything in the setup. Peoplescube.com is a separate domain run from a different server and a different hosting provider - and it only hosts the Cube's mailing list. All non-mailing list requests simply get redirected to the Cube's main page. You may notice that all those URLs in Google results do not really exist - they are ghosts created by Google's algorithmic imagination.
At least we can still access NAMBLA ad nauseum from google's search engine.
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=Nambla
Goog pont, Satisfied Customer! A more correct way to compare the results for the Cube URL with the results for the Man/Boy Love Association URL would be this:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&c2coff=1&q=Nambla.org&btnG=Search
And the NAMBLA results are much friendlier indeed:
Quote
Welcome to NAMBLA's Home Page
NAMBLA's goal is to end the oppression of men and boys who have mutually consensual relationships. NAMBLA's membership is open to everyone sympathetic to ...
216.220.97.17/
Google can show you the following information for this URL:
* Show Google's cache of Nambla.org
* Find web pages that are similar to Nambla.org
* Find web pages that link to Nambla.org
* Find web pages from the site Nambla.org
* Find web pages that contain the term "Nambla.org"
Some of the pictures at my site have been censored by Google Image Search -- the ones depicting Michael Moore were removed about a year and a half ago.
I agree with the poster who likes the new search engine Accoona.
Two things to remember:
(1) It has two "c"s, not one
(2) It has three different search buttons. Make sure you press the "web" one to get the Cube.
ONLY MULTIPLE DOMAINS OF THIS SITE HAVE BEEN REMOVED
BECAUSE OF OPERATOR ERROR
GOOGLE STILL RECOGNIZES "peoplescube.com" AND THUS IS NOT CENSORING THE DAMN WEBSITE
THIS COULD BE FIXED IN A MATTER OF DAYS BY ANY COMPETENT Search Engine Optimizer, of which I am one of the most affordable.
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You may be the most affordable but not most competent.
There have never been multiple domains. I explained it already earlier. There's never been duplicate content. Peoplescube.com is a separate domain that host our mailing list. Ever heard of "page forwarding"?
As it turns out, Google has launched a left-wing video news service that's youth-oriented just like its partner in crime, Al Gore's Current. The new service is called Google Current and the two companies are now promoting one another while endlessly scratching each other's backs.
As Michelle Malkin suggested, maybe Al Gore's people at Google Current TV can find out for us what happened to The People's Cube and report back.
um, try removing the hidden text from your site and you might get back into Google. Sneaky SEO stuff will only work for so long before the smart search engines (ie Google) catch you.
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Dear Comrade Rich (if that is your real income bracket)
Please point out where on the site you spotted hidden text and I will remove it.
Wow, it's kind of amusing that somehow all the Google haters who were flooding this board suddenly have nothing to say. Oh how we hate to admit that we are wrong...
The invisible keywords were there at some point but I had removed them days before you visited this site. That's why I asked you to point it out or shut up. You wouldn't have found them in the source code. And don't think I hadn't considered that possibility before I raised the question - but I rejected it as an unlikely development, and here's why.
The blog you referred to raises some valid points, but it doesn't answer why, out of thousands of websites, including the ones listed in those examples, only the Cube gets removed from Google's index. Not a real estate site, not a small construction company - but a politically charged Party Organ like the Cube - blocked by another politically charged Party Organ like Google (see Google Current as an example).
As one very competent poster points out in a comment to that story:
Quote
1- Removing [invisible keywords] still is depriving the users of this information when searching Google for related info.
2- One never knows what relevant synonyms or acronyms will be used when a surfer is seeking information - until Google evolves into concept search technology or LSI these strategies are quite justified - UP TO A DEGREE ( don’t forget Google still does NOT factor Meta Keywords - yet complains about KEYWORD STUFFING ) see the irony?
3- In fact - webmasters who use hidden text - ARE DOING GOOGLE A FAVOR!
It's hard to argue with the fact that it's Google's deficiency (not factoring meta keywords) that makes webmasters use keyword stuffing.
There was an attempt earlier to blame the purge on spammers, now it's invisible keywords. Next will be some missing metatags. After that it will be the way I separate paper from plastic in my garbage, and my unpaid parking tickets, and my removal of labels from the mattress, and my squeezing of Charmin. There will always be something, unless you are a Perfect Human Being Working For Google - then you're faultless!
-- Red Square
P.S. A note to trolls: Redundant lying posts shall be further deleted with an iron fist of revolutionary justice.
Actually, sites get removed from the index daily for things like hidden text. My guess is that someone that doesn't like you reported you to Google and poof! If you go out and find real estates doing the same thing, and report them, there is a good chance they'll be removed too.
Matt Cutts is an engineer at Google and somewhat a spokesman for them in the webmaster community. I don't think he'd post that on his site without Google legal taking a look and making sure his information was correct.
Even if you did remove them days ago, it may have already been crawled and in the process of being removed. It can take a week to have new changes cross over all their datacenters. The site broke the guidelines they have and someone reported it. If it's fixed as you say, send in a re-inclusion request and all should be fine.
While we are on the topic of hidden keywords and links on your site, would you care to explain why most of the hidden links on your site (that you now oh-so-cleverly removed) came from a web design portfolio of this company -- http://www.sitexpress.net/ ? Looks like you are trying to boost the rankings of completely unrelated projects by creating hidden spam links to them...
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Let me see... Because sitexpress.net is MY OWN design and hosting business?
Google also places unrelated links on its pages. And sometimes does not display those that are relevant. Oops...
You got seriously busted. LGF already has a retraction:
http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/?entry=19615_Google_Purges_Peoples_Cube&only
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It's not a retraction, it's a fraud: one of you made LGF post a "balancing" link without disclosing that its source comes from someone who's on Google's payroll. But what else could one expect? See more below.
Actually, it's a great self-promotion strategy: first, do something clearly against the rules to get Google to remove you from its index, and then shout about it to all the conservative pundits who are day-dreaming about exposing someone not-conservative-in-their-view in a negative light. They all post links to your site, and voila, you have thousands of visitors.
Unfortunately, without any good content, you'll be forgotten as quickly as you were found.
Have you considered the fact that you appear to be using some underhanded seo tactics and may well have been removed for cause. Looking around that seems to be what has happened.
According to Google you can be "removed from our index, because it did not conform with the quality standards necessary to assign accurate PageRank. We will not comment on the individual reasons a page was removed and we do not offer an exhaustive list of practices that can cause removal"
What you seem to be forgetting is you do not have a 'right' to be included in their index and they have every right in the world to remove you regardless of your 'conspiracy theories'.
Sure they do......but that disclaimer "We will not comment" says it all.
It might not be restraint of trade either.
@Red Square
I am certainly not a left wing person, but as someone who often work with Search Engine Optimization, I have to say I see this often. I certainly don't buy that google does no evil, but sometimes we got to get a wider perspective on these things before coming to a conlusion.
I don't think your site was singled out, google does not find all spam or keyword stuffing issues at once, but when it does then often its banned until the problem is fixed.
I have a Christian website, and it has ranked number one in google for a number of years. Once it disappeared from the index. I am not sure why, but after checking over my site, and sending an e-mail to google a short while after it returned. My site has ranked number one for a number of keywords. I don't think it's a conspiracy, it's just that google's tools will catch certain things at times that may ban or lower the ranking of your site. I suspect that other sites that claimed google banned them for political reasons, that most were banned for similar google webmaster guideline issues.
Ask other webmasters out there, sometimes your site may be banned, while another site having spam is not. Yes, it's frustrating, but it's not a conspiracy, it's simply google caught one site and missed the other. In time, google will catch the other sites also. Some sites with keyword stuffing may go ranking well for a long time, and then all of a sudden it gets banned. If you follow Matt Cutt's blog you'll see theis issue comes up often.
You made a point about google defiency in not factoring meta keywords. This is a double edged sword. If google should accept keyword stuffing, the quality of search results overall may decrease - try to see this from google's view.
Finally, you made a point that earlier other suggestions were made for why the site was banned, and then wander what else will be stated. But you're not realizing that Matt Cutts is a google employee that works on website spam issues, you're getting the word from the person who would know. He is responding to your open letter - so basically, most likely that's the problem - (he has screenshots, and have posted on similar issues before for other websites)
Follow Matt Cutt's suggestions(http://www.mattcutts.com/blog/seo-advice-check-your-own-site/)
, and if you site does not return within the next 30 to 90 days, then you have all right to call it a conspiracy.
Talk about intellectual honesty and removing "incorrect" posts -
Your Matt Cutts or whoever manages the blog had just removed the most reasonable comment under his own post - but - voila! - I still had the window open and made a screenshot of it.
Wow, Red Square, you are seriously sleazy.... And the fact that you removed the comment with the link to the cache makes you even less credible.
----------------
I removed your trolling attempt with factual inaccuracies and an oversized link that distorted the entire page. Everything you wanted to display was already posted by Matt Cutts - who himself had just deleted the smartest post on his entire thread.
Why would he do that unless his purpose was to do damage control for his paying bosses at Google? Talk about credibility. And who exactly are you, Mr. Dragon?
But the fact that you people are now sending "retractions" without identifying Matt Cutts as a Google employee undermines your credibility like nothing else.
Looks like there is a concerted campaign, with several people monitoring different sites simultaneously, posting and emailing disingenious retractions non-stop, and immediately sharing information. Are you guys all sitting in one room? And is that room by any chance located at Google headquarters?
You got seriously busted. LGF already has a retraction:
http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/?entry=19615_Google_Purges_Peoples_Cube&only
That's not a retraction - especially that Matt Cutts didn't identify hinself to LGF as a Google employee. That's called Google's attempt at damage control.
I just posted a comment on LGF about it:
Quote
That's interesting -
Looks like the mighty Google started danmage control. Who is Matt Cutts? Just a regular blogger? No, he's an engineer at Google, and the retraction should have also mentioned that.
A few points if I may:
1. Google answered LGF but not me, whom they purged and who first asked them several times for the explanation.
2. I had expected from the start that in the even Google does anser, it will be about small irregularities that are inevitable when you build the site with your own hands. The sites linked from the Cube were the sites I built myself, and so I felt it was my right to promote them for the time being until they get picked up by the search engines. In no way it can be described as spamming or link farming.
3. Matt Cutts who gets paid by Google is not only a concerned party here, he is also NOT being intellectually honest - he has just removed a comment under his own explanation on his blog - a very valid comment explaining "invisible keywords" caused by Google's deficiency in factoring meta keywords - but I busted him by copying that page and making a screenshot of it. Why would he remove that post unless his motives were not pure intellectual inquiry - but damage control for his bosses?
@Red Square
Don't you notice the eccentric nature of the comment on Matt Cutt's blog that you say was removed. Anyone who follows Matt Cutts blog knows that every time Matt posts about keyword-stuffing, that person makes that exact comment you posted over and over with bolded letters, many smiles, exclamation marks, large caps. Matt Cutts moderates his comments (like you also do).
And well, it does not really matter why that comment was removed regarding this issue. Matt Cutts have posted similar info in the past about other sites in an attempt to help them get reincluded in google; he was simply doing the same here. He has done it many times in the past - so again, you are not being singled out, he is simply responding to your open letter, and what people have been saying about this.
Now, if you follow Matt Cutts instruction and do a reinclusion request, and over time you are still not reincluded in Google's index, then I will personally voice with you that google is targeting conservative web sites.
And you, Red Square, haven't answered the question as to why your hidden keywords and links were clearly irrelevant to the content of your site. Or why you removed comments linking to the cache of this site not once, but five times. What you did was not "invisible meta keywords" -- it was spam and poorly concealed attempts to fool, not enhance the ranking algorithms.
To quote the very famous Russian author Mikhail Bulgakov: "Pokaysya, Ivanych, tebe skidka viydet !" (Come clean, Ivanych, they'll reduce your sentence if you do!")
-----------------------
It's tough out there for a troll, isn't it? I removed your posts because they were lies and exaggerations. Point at one keyword that was irrelevant. Point to one site that is questionable. "spam?" "clearly irrelevant?" "poorly concealed attempts to fool?" You're trying too hard. Something's fishy here...
Wow, Red Square, you are seriously sleazy. For the fifth time now, you just removed a comment with a link to the cache of your site that shows clearly you are lying.
Let me repeat that post: Here's a cache of your site, made by Yahoo:
This cache was clearly made after this topic has already been started. Yet, should one turn off the CSS Stylesheets, one can clearly see the spam keywords at the bottom.
You stuffed the page with spam keywords and links to questionable sites (relationshiplink.com tatyanazb.com buyonlywithus.com vitalypainting.com...)? There's not even a question as to why you were removed. If Google didn't counter spam like yours, it would never be able to get reasonable search results.
And the fact that you removed the comment with the link to the cache makes you even less credible.
Could you explain why there is not a question about removing the site? What is wrong with vitalypainting.com?
To respond to your question: no, I am not affiliated with Google, and I have been affiliated with their rival, Microsoft, in the past.
The link's too long? Here's a shortened version of it that doesn't distort the page:
http://tinyurl.com/o5tdh
This link has nothing to do with Matt Cutts: it's YAHOO's cache of your site, which shows, sans CSS Stylesheets, that you've been stuffing your page with irrelevant keywords and links. Forget Matt Cutts -- what you did is obviously against Google's rules, and the rest is just your attempt at self-hype. The verdict once again: sleazy.
Vitalypainting is merely undetected atm. Just wait, I just reported it myself! Hah!
find other sites like this, please do all of us honest SEOs a favor and report it via
Google SPAM Reporter
http://www.google.com/contact/spamreport.html
Thanks.
"http://www.xmule.ws"
----------------------
Further down this thread Comrade HopeSeekr has proved to be a fearless progressive spammer, hack, and extortionist fighting for the Greater Good™. Just keep reading, it all comes together.
This link has nothing to do with Matt Cutts: it's YAHOO's cache of your site, which shows, sans CSS Stylesheets, that you've been stuffing your page with irrelevant keywords and links. Forget Matt Cutts -- what you did is obviously against Google's rules, and the rest is just your attempt at self-hype. The verdict once again: sleazy.
So, if you consider that thepeoplescube.com contains irrelevant invisible links, don't include those irrelevant links in search results. Why eliminate the site?
Looks like there is a concerted campaign, with several people monitoring different sites simultaneously, posting and emailing disingenious retractions non-stop, and immediately sharing information. Are you guys all sitting in one room? And is that room by any chance located at Google headquarters?
Ha! No, this is just fun. Tracerout the ip addresses, ok?
Posted at LGF:
Quote
Red Square:
The fact remains that you are a spammer and tried to deny it at first. Then rushed to change your site. Too late, there is a cache.
You broke the rules and you got caught. You were additionally stupid by calling them out in public over it. You can’t defend yourself by referring to Google as “evil”. The word you should be using is “moron” – to describe yourself. You are not a victim, you’re a dumbass. This is point where you should crawl back under your rock.
-------------------
Is this another Google employee providing belated customer service? Where were you when I was trying to figure out what happened?
You must have learned customer relations from the best practices of comrade Che himself.
Talk about intellectual honesty and removing "incorrect" posts -
Your Matt Cutts or whoever manages the blog had just removed the most reasonable comment under his own post - but - voila! - I still had the window open and made a screenshot of it.
Click on it if you want to see a bigger image.
Now, why would they do that, hm?
Red, I have the answer! Their overlord in Beijing won't let them. I wonder if any of these trolls are old enough to remember Tiennamen Square? Probably not. "Do no evil" Hardy Har Har! Why didn't this Cutts person indentify who he worked for from the start? Hardly professional and not what I'd call customer service. Damage control yes, customer service, no friggin' way. A response last week would have been nice, but I guess Google employees only work 9-5 and they all have the weekend off. And yes, we bitched. We're also a business, who wouldn't? I guess maybe we should all bow down to Google like Google bowed down to Beijing. Hey when you're top dog the whole world is your fireplug (Except the ChiComs of course).
Now I'm no computer idiot savant, and I've seen a bunch of posts of that ilk today, but if I owned a company like Google I'd at least generate a warning email of some sort before purging, that's just common courtesy wouldn't you think? Something like "Hello, there is a problem with your site, you have 5 business days to respond"....oh, there's that nasty capitalist word "business" again. Instead, it's poof, you're gone! Does this make sense? Again, maybe it's not possible, I'm no geek, but if we could put a man on the moon, I'm sure Google could create a program to give fair warning. Laugh as you will, I don't care. This site did have spam problems a week and a half ago, we thought the problem was solved, apparently not.....maybe human error on our end, but I'm not convinced of that either...again, from what I've read, millions of sites with spam are overlooked, it's funny Google found us. One thing Google can't purge from the public domain. They're ChiCom ass kissers.
Could you explain why there is not a question about removing the site? What is wrong with vitalypainting.com?
It comes up on Google...
The only thing wrong with it is that it's entirely irrelevant to this site. Red Square can say all he wants about "helping" search engines with "invisible meta keywords", but the truth is, humans can instantly recognize if these "meta keywords" are relevant to the site or not. The hidden links are a nearly one-to-one copy of the web portfolio of this web design company: http://www.sitexpress.net/ -- the site of a struggling actress and a realty agency are hardly relevant. As far as keywords go - well, let's see, among the more relevant ones, there are 'nude' and 'naked', and 'pix' -- hardly "helpful" by any standard. And the rest of the keywords that are relevant aren't necessary, because they appear in the actual content. So no matter how much talk there is about "invisible meta keywords", the truth is -- it's all junk. What's worse is that instead of being respectful to the search engine rules, the creator of the site decided to use his blatant violations to produce more hype around his creation.
--------------------
I own sitexpress.net - and I also know better what keywords are relevant to this site - they all are. And what's so blatant about it? Too many exaggerations and too much zeal for an objective observer, no? Just admit you're on a mission, comrade - и брось звездеть своим ребятам.
This link has nothing to do with Matt Cutts: it's YAHOO's cache of your site, which shows, sans CSS Stylesheets, that you've been stuffing your page with irrelevant keywords and links. Forget Matt Cutts -- what you did is obviously against Google's rules, and the rest is just your attempt at self-hype. The verdict once again: sleazy.
So, if you consider that thepeoplescube.com contains irrelevant invisible links, don't include those irrelevant links in search results. Why eliminate the site?
Some invisible information search engines collect might very well be relevant: things like ALT tags on images, and all sorts of other meta-information. But the real counterpoint to your question is: why include the links and keywords if they are invisible in the first place? Search engine and this site are both private entities, and they make their own rules. Google clearly states what their rules are and they abide by them. This site violated Google's rules, and was removed. That's the bottom line.
Ultimately, I seriously doubt Google would even consider introducing a secret censorship program: it just won't be cost-effective. When they censor something, they do it publicly, as in the case with China. It's not a great move, but they are honest about it.
Publically? Get you facts straight, they were outed. Ask any dissadent from China. By chance, are you related to Neville Chamberlain?
The only thing wrong with it is that it's entirely irrelevant to this site. ...(snip)
Fine, don't show links in search results that you judge as irrelevant to this site. Why eliminate the site altogether? It is a popular site. Diversity of opinion and thoughts, you know. Humorous too.
And you, Red Square, haven't answered the question as to why your hidden keywords and links were clearly irrelevant to the content of your site. Or why you removed comments linking to the cache of this site not once, but five times. What you did was not "invisible meta keywords" -- it was spam and poorly concealed attempts to fool, not enhance the ranking algorithms.
To quote the very famous Russian author Mikhail Bulgakov: "Pokaysya, Ivanych, tebe skidka viydet !" (Come clean, Ivanych, they'll reduce your sentence if you do!")
I had explained it in an earlier comment:
The several "irrelevant" sites linked from the Cube were the sites I had built myself, and so I felt it was my right to promote them for the time being until they get picked up by the search engines. In no way it can be described as spamming or link farming. Many sites, including Google, have links to non-related sites for commercial purposes (e.g., AdWords). I just made the links invisible so that they wouldn't distract from the content. Hey, it's my site! Would it be more acceptable to you if the links were visible? If they were, how would that change anything?
I had suspected that if Google were to start damage control, it would send its engineers to pick on irregularities that every hand-created site has (as opposed to Blogger, of course, which is owned by Google). These are small fries and a distraction from the main question - why was the Cube singled out.
I'm sure you Google guys can forever come up with excuses and provide plausible technobabble. They pay you well, don't they? Well, me - I'm just doing this in my spare time in addition to a regular job and raising a family - trying to make a little side income on selling Cubes and T-shirts - but the
Great Google says: "Don't do evil!" - and shuts me down selectively.
"Come clean, Ivanych, they'll reduce your sentence if you do!" - the quote refers to you Googlebots more than it refers to me. I have nothing to hide except the keywords which your engine can't read otherwise. Please pay attention that all of those keywords were relevant to the site's content. That's why your accusations of spamming are kinds slanderous.
The only thing wrong with it is that it's entirely irrelevant to this site. ...(snip)
Fine, don't show links in search results that you judge as irrelevant to this site. Why eliminate the site altogether? It is a popular site. Diversity of opinion and thoughts, you know. Humorous too.
Neither Google, nor any other respectable search engine can take your word for it. This site may very well be popular, but it needs to be verified independently (imagine if Google judged site popularity from the visitor counter data submitted by the sites' creators !). Such verification is no easy matter -- Google's (as well as other search engines') precise algorithms are extremely complicated and not shown for the outside world to see (it is their business, after all.)
Why eliminate the site altogether? As I see it, it's a matter of principle. To reach for an analogy: universities have honor codes that expel students who cheat on exams. You can argue -- why such harsh punishment -- the student just cheated on one little exam, and he's otherwise a good student. But the university is a private entity, and it's up to them to decide the severity of the punishment. They feel that a student who held an unfair advantage over others taking the exam violated a fundamental trust invested in him, and does not deserve to be a student anymore. As long as it's not done in secrecy and described clearly in their rules, it's fine. And if you feel the policy has to change, well, lobby the university, get a job there, but asking why certainly won't help your cause. Same holds for Google.
------------
Anyone with a clear mind can see that all my keywords were relevant, including one occurrence of "naked" and "nude" since I featured nude "peace" protesters who have been out there for a while if you haven't noticed. And that "spamming" is a blatant exaggeration of the fact that a handful of sites that I had built myself were linked to this site. Think of it as AdWords that Google uses for profit.
What next, calling the monitoring of suspected terrorist phone calls a "domestic spying program"? What will the world come to then?
The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans
of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent,
by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant
pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other -
until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's
official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand
Write down this number and report to your Kommissar at the nearest railroad station.
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Dick Durbin denies that being Hell's spokesperson and moonlighting as a Democrat Senator presents a conflict of interest Flooding in Iowa causes typical white people to turn bitter and cling to evacuation procedures Democrat energy policy: let them eat cake Monica Lewinsky endorses Obama: 'This is not the Bill Clinton I knew' NASA unveils 'ass-crack' space suit for plumbing repairs at int'l space station Dead people at Obama's rally identified as a renegade splinter group of Hillary's 'invisible Americans' Howard Dean: dead people will vote Democrat no matter who gets the nomination Mainstream media silent on increased attacks on US troops by mainstream media Sen. Kennedy under treatment. Mary Jo still dead Muanmar drafts Mayor Nagin and Gov. Blanco to help with cyclone clean up New Orleans Mayor sends school buses to Myanmar As Darfur violence surges, world vows not to give a crap unless the US gets involved Chinese citizens crushed by bricks and rubble; tanks have day off
Friendly fire: BBC office hit by al-Qaeda rocket Al Gore knows what caused Burma cyclone but won't say it International community promises to suspend anti- Americanism until after American aid reaches Burma Mainstream media saddened that Austrian pedophile isn't a Catholic priest, a Baptist minister, or a GOP senator
North Korea's nuclear technicians protest outsourcing jobs to Syria Earth Day: save the planet, starve the children! Focus group: if water boarding was a sexual preference, they'd be teaching it in public schools Study: Wall Street losses unfairly target the rich Mixed month for MTV: teen pregnancy drops, however STDs are on the rise Obama pledges to give every typical small town family a possum sandwich Delays at American Airlines: a sneak peak into proposed government healthcare Stop and smell the Sharpies Obama: baby is punishment; tax increase is bundle of joy Media: this year's Global Bad News Awareness week to overlap with International Good News Obliviousness month NPR journalists go on truckers-style protest over high price of lattes Most popular April Fools joke: "A Democrat president won't raise taxes" Obama denounced extreme statements in Osama's new tape but urged voters to listen to the entire message before making judgment Obama's speech calls for change in stereotyping "the typical White person" Spitzer denies applying hardball tactics in front of bathroom mirror and threatening to come after himself New York State House retires Spitzer's #9 jersey KKK endorses Harvard's gym segregation policy: 'Blacks and Jews are next' London quake caused by SUV, now impounded by Scotland Yard Hillary's healthcare plan to include smelling salts for Obama's supporters and mandatory amputation of Chris Matthews' leg USMail Service to publish Obama's resume on new stamp Obama: one man's plagiarism is another man's audacity Candidate Barry O'Bama to court Irish vote Berkeley ousting US Marines gives hope to al Qaeda: 'If hippies can do it, so can we!' Berkley builds wall around self; man trying to flee 'Peace Sanctuary City' shot at checkpoint John McCain apologizes for going to Vietnam, earns Jane Fonda's endorsement To avoid scorn and ridicule, Tom Cruise converts to Islam NY Times: Backward, close-minded, inbred southern hicks vote for Obama NY Times: All the news that's fit to pimp Dems offer first female for President, first Black for President, first pretty pony for Attorney General Brokeback Mountain loses climber NASA's Spirit Rover finds Dennis Kucinich campaign on MarsLas Vegas: candidates offer plans to bail out flustered gamblers Feds: subprime borrowers' relief package to include subprime rib Silence in Cuba: Castro too ill to speak in public, Cubans too afraid to speak Dems adopt old British "don't mention the war" strategy for '08 campaign Obama's 'Take a penny, leave a penny' economic plan sparks new hope Obama's campaign hires homeless people to talk about change on street corners Panhandlers Union endorses Obama's plan for change Al Gore's children receive carbon credits for Winter Solstice Holiday Democrats call for troop surge in the War on Bush Murtha: if we quit now, capitalism will win Pelosi declares she likes class war, pledges to stay the course Expert blames Republicans for not attacking all Democrat candidates equally High school Meth teacher starts new class Holy Mitt! Violence in Iraq down 60%; media stories reporting this down 6000% Imus covers all bases by hiring undocumented-Black- Jewish-homeless- transgendered-vegan- disabled-obese-Kartina- victim as a sidekick Poll: most Muslims find curvature of Riemannian manifolds offensive "How The Grinch Redistributed Winter Solstice" opens on Broadway Left-wing bloggers hold vigil hoping suspect is connected to GOP candidate Hostage situation expected to be politicized in the next 20 minutes "Mall security" takes over operations in Baghdad New study suggests that 1 US gallon of Latte is 170 times more expensive than 1 US gallon of Regular gasoline. Al Gore sterilizes self to protect planet: 'Having children is selfish' NY Times: some news is fitter to print than others Study: most Americans will be worried about economy if told so often enough Musharraf changes name to Chavez to avoid being called "dictator" by MSM and Democrats in US Congress Media changes old adage "no news is good news" to "no good news is news" US Congress extends hurricane season until the first Sunday in November Lack of bad news from Iraq causes media recession. Women and minority journalists hardest hit. LA Times drops term "wild" describing fire, uses "undocumented" fire instead USA Today: big fires are getting bigger, small fires are getting smaller Reid: Global Warming caused fire by overheating arsonist's head, provoking delusional paranoia MoveOn.org pressures Congress to stop fighting fire and bring firemen home Reid: The war on fire is lost Pelosi: The number of fires has gone up since we started fighting fire Kerry: If you don't do well in school you'll get stuck fighting fire in California NY Times: Fighting fire creates even more fires Harry Reid auctions clothes, furniture, car on eBay in effort to make millions off his name. "If Limbaugh can do it so can I." No takers so far. Princess Leia Organa presents the Alderaanian Medal of Honor to Al Gore Did Che Guevara descend from Prophet Mohammed? San Andreas Fault in California preemptively renamed George Bush's Fault Media Matters editor blows self up over Limbaugh's 'bomber' remark End of Ramadan brings new rioting season to France Harry Reid bangs shoe on table: "We will bury you!" Dutch follow Ahmadinejad's lead, declare "there are no dykes in Holland" Ahmadinejad to Amerika: "Don't tase me, bro!" Bomb Girl and Taser Boy sell rights to their characters to Marvel Comics Cindy Sheehan hires Bomb Girl and Taser Boy as image consultants CBS stands by firing of Dan Rather: "He couldn't tell our logo from a hole in the ground" Jessie Jackson on Obama: "too White." Obama on Jackson: "I'm a smoke dat biatch if I see him"
Tasered victim at John Kerry's speech to receive Purple Heart Mugabe blames Zimbabwe's meltdown on Global Warming To stomp out possible confusion, MSM changes spelling of Obama to Ubama Craving acceptance from liberals, General Petraeus gains 300lbs and debuts report at Cannes. George Soros stops funding Democrats, converts to Islam Edwards: 41% of American children don't have lawyers John Edwards proposes "single payer" trial lawyer insurance for all, mandatory pre-jurisprudence care Illegal aliens kill people Americans won't killDemocrats select 2008 presidential slogan: "Death to America" Larry "Happy Feet" Craig uses Michael Flatley's Riverdance defense "Americans Coming Together" admit they had timing issues Presbyterian clergy issue fatwah calling for Pope's deathNew Jersey teen cracked iPhone with his face Vick awaits doggie-style welcome in prison Rock star behaves like rap star: huge media outcry China's recall of defective Daily Kos bloggers causes suicides among Democrat strategists Al Gore to recall the Internet Media declares September National Bridge Awareness Month First New Orleans, now Minnesota: Anderson Cooper travels up the Mississippi without a paddle Ray Nagin pledges to build a chocolate bridge instead William Jefferson spotted under collapsed bridge retrieving mystery package Cannibalism, rape, looting, republicanism rampant in Minneapolis Lindsay Lohan to enter astronaut training program Nigeria's plan to nationalize local spam industry sparks massive riots in Lagos
Democrat Congress's two major victories: minimum wage increase and al-Qaeda's restored operating capability London Mayor Livingston mandates Sharia law at nightclubs to prevent further bombings Taliban spokesman blames media bias as civilian deaths from US air strikes grab headlines: "Taliban has murdered thousands of civilians and we can't even get mentioned on Countdown with Olbermann. What gives?"Back alley massage parlors now offering "better ending than Sopranos" Bush to close Gitmo, detainees released into Mexican custody to be put on fast track to US citizenship
Study: Dan rather still unable to tell the difference between Paris Hilton and Katie Couric Civil war in Gaza: if it's not in Iraq why report it? US media increasingly impatient at lack of civil war in IraqUS Embassy in Syria warns of sex attacks. So how long will Bill be visiting for? Delighted Dems: "The surge has failed!"MSM spokesman: There are no civil war clashes in Gaza! Palestinians still wonder why their real civil war can't knock Iraq "civil war" off the front page As Albanians welcome Bush and show love for USA, NY Times offers them free subscriptions to "solve problem" Paris gets out of jail faster than an illegal immigrant Socialist utopia takes foothold in Venezuela as water cannons salute victory Pelosi: "I've seen climate change." John Fogerty of CCR also wants to know "if she's ever seen rain" Democrats call for troop withdrawal from Jersey Harry Reid: "Troop presence in New Jersey creating more terrorists" French riot police deployed as open minded, tolerant socialists expected to react to election results Progressives concerned with Sarkozy's "extremist agenda " of rule of law and assimilation to French culture Dems: War needs deadline; only social policies can run indefinitely Sheryl Crow to wipe out global warming one butt at a time Va Tech lessons for MSM: must ban guns, rich kids ACLU calls for calm, fears backlash against innocent gun owners: 'all gun owners aren't terrorists' Liberal groups join gun tolerance and awareness workshops Gun owners converting to Islam in droves to ward off profiling Sharp jump in number of 'non-decapitated' babies following Supreme Court decision Sharpton makes a list of 57 Don Imus sympathizers on public airwaves Al Gore and John Kerry agree: people who live in greenhouses should not expel noxious gases Al Gore hired by K-Y to pro- mote Global Warming Jelly New study shows Earth's 'fever' contagious; Mars asks planets to kick 'Greenhouse Mary' out of solar system Schumer demands Karl Rove be indicted on 1976 parking ticket Al Qaeda reacts to Schumer attack: "Thank Allah we're not Republicans!" Dems: Khalid Sheik Mohamed just watched too many episodes of 24 and made all that stuff in his confession up Fitzgerald to prosecute Ann Coulter for disclosing identity of presidential candidate John Edwards Following Scooter Libby success, media demands journalists be included on all future juries Kent State professor calls for bin Laden victory: time to bring in the National Guard again? Hollywood to America: our moral issues are better than your moral issues Obama promises to "purge himself" if he loses to Hillary to spare the public a lengthy trial House vote: Insurgents react with non-binding IED Democrat leaders don't support terrorists but they support their mission North Korea agrees to nuclear disarmament, media hails Madeleine Albright Bush: I support Democrat majority - but not their mission Is it time for Pinochet yet? Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History
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Experts: assassin hid bomb in anal cavity adjacent to brain
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Al-Qaeda founder discovers DNC playbook, attacks own side in war an terror
Murtha: if we quit now, capitalism will win
New Jersey teen cracked iPhone with his face
MSM spokesman: There are no civil war clashes in Gaza!
Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History
