USA Today's current truth about chainsaw bayonets

USA Today has done its progressive duty by releasing a video calculated to scare the unwashed masses with various dreadful modifications to AR-15 rifle, which included a chainsaw bayonet.



This sparked a lively discussion on Twitter, with over two thousand commenters asking where they could buy a chainsaw bayonet, or proposing other useful attachments, such as, a pencil sharpener, a pizzawheel, a banana named "apple," and Kevin Spacey's head for converting your firearm into a sexual assault rifle.

WATCH: 'USA Today' Warns People To Beware Of AR-15 Armed With Chainsaws


The only person wielding a chainsaw bayonet in our experience is Comrade Olga Photoshopova (left).

We'll be expecting her to share some useful techniques on operating it.

On our part, we propose this aftermarket modification:



 

And whad, no frontally mounted V-2 ? _Himmelherrgottdonnerwetterkreuzgewitterwolkenbruch !
 

USA Today left out bayonets even more dangerous than the chainsaw.




Other bayonet options



 

If the shooter had this barrel modification, he might have destroyed the whole planet!




And I cannot even imagine the mayhem this would have caused:



 

 

Genosse Dummkopf

And whad, no frontally mounted V-2 ? _Himmelherrgottdonnerwetterkreuzgewitterwolkenbruch !

Comrade Dummkopf, you've mistakenly mentioned the Ultra-Top Secret Hipster Assault Force aka (F-Troop)





F-Troops Futuristic weapons




 

Fortunately, the Honorable Senator Chuck Schumer is on the case...



 

Posted without comment...



 

The deadliest attachment!




 

 

I like the weed whacker bayonet modification for around the yard but now I think I'll ask for the chainsaw bayonet for Christmas. It looks pretty handy.
 

.

 

.







Both very handy in situations like e.g. here :


 

And of course Model Messiah:


In action (already seen here) :




plus more action (reuse) :


 

The chainsaw bayonet is the attachment of choice for assault rifles used by Man-bear-pig.
 

More AR15 possible modifications
































 

Now that USA Today has become the official laughingstock extension to AR-15 rifle, our "laughingstock" image has gone viral and is making rounds on various blogs, including Power Line.