Image

If You Liked ObamaCare, You'll Love ObamaCar

User avatar
ObamaCar.jpg
In an effort to win back the hearts of the American People, the White House today announced its support of the new ObamaCar program.

"Too many Americans are driving substandard cars," said White House Spokesperson Jay Carney during today's press briefing. "In fact, there are a lot of Americans who don't even have cars. That is why the President, by executive order, has initiated the ObamaCar Program."

The new program will see that all Americans, regardless of age, place of residence, or occupation will be required to purchase a vehicle suitable to meet the standards mandated by ObamaCar.

However, Carney was quick to point out that this did not mean that anyone would be forced to give up their favorite ride.

"If you like the car you are driving now, you can keep your car. Period." Carney read from a prepared statement by President Obama. "Nobody is going to take it away from you. Period."

Carney said this means that nobody will be required to purchase a vehicle they do not want or need. Ever. As long as your current vehicle meets ObamaCar standard features, you can drive it as long as you like. Unless the manufacturer decides to recall it.

"But if that happens, don't blame us," Carney said. "That's the free market at work, that's capitalism, at least how we define capitalism, in action. We didn't do that to you."

He went on to state that all auto manufactures will be required to produce only ObamaCar-compliant vehicles.

The ObamaCar will come in two basic models:

The Sporty Runabout
Image
And the Luxurious Executive Sedan
Image

Both models come equipped with the following standard features:

  • Driver's Seat Child Restraints
  • On-Board EPA Supervisor's console and seat
  • Left Wheel Drive
  • Seating for Eight
  • Air Conditioning (preset to government-mandated 87 degrees summer, 41 degrees winter)
  • Gold Plated Power Window controls (Windows do not roll down, as drive through food is bad for you)
  • AM/FM Stereo with permanently docked iPod preloaded with President Obama's speeches
  • Cruz Control
  • "NSAvigator" GPS Location System
  • Solar-Powered Headlights
  • Powerful 0.5 Liter engine capable of accelerating from 0 to 40 in three minutes flat
  • Lean Forward Design
  • Four Full-Size Spare Tires
  • Fully Enclosed Golf Bag Roof Pods transports up to four sets of clubs in weatherproof safety
  • Built-in Pet Carrier and Seating for Pet Valet
  • Glove Compartment Lobster Steamer
  • Eco-Friendly Burlap Seat Covers
  • Wilson Progressive 14-Point Passenger Restraint system
  • Handicap Access Doors and Chairlift
  • Fender-Mounted Teleprompters
  • Heads-Up Display Closed Captioning
  • 11,000-Page Owners Manual

Log on and order yours today at CarCare.gov!

ObamaCar. We Know What's Good For You.

And Coming Soon: ObamaCycle!
Image

User avatar
Modifications now avalable at Tovarichi's House of Welding, Body & Fender Works featuring pudding wrestling in the customer waiting room... Beat the Winter Solstice rush, customize it your way, drive in today! (ObamaCard, EBT and vodka-barter accepted, sorry no Czechs)

User avatar
I thought this Obamacar came within the exchanges and government plan known as Obamacare?

hearse.jpg

User avatar
Is there anything Dear Leader won't do for our betterment? Tears come to my eyes looking at what we'll drive. As they say, "Theres nothing like quality, nothing like it at all!"


User avatar
Comrades, although this glorious initiative to create this program speaks well of dear leader, would it not make the average citizen cast a much larger carbon footprint? Could we not offset all those carbon footprints provided by the Obamacar by raising the price of gas taxes not only to relive the strain on our environment by making it far too expensive for anyone other than environmental blowhards, political leaders, media darlings and celebrities but to prevent Bush's Big Oil Buddies from raising their prices at the pump, after all any corporation that makes profits at the expense of the people and fails to dump those profits into the People's Party should be held accountable. Perhaps a $7.00 dollar a gallon tax would not only put money back into the party pockets, but would relieve many of our traffic congestion problems as well. Hopefully Progressive Leaders in Congress will roll back many of the loopholes that have been stealing wealth from the federal lock box while failing to tax them out of existence. We may have the Obamacar, but we need to stand firmly together and drive down America in a new direction until these evil businesses are made to pay for what they have stolen from the People. It will take unbelievable courage, but we need to put aside the selfish needs of ordinary people for the future generations.


User avatar
ObamaCar races straight to the top of the People's Mother Page!

User avatar
The fat droopy blob cute looking car must be the Moochelle Obama model.

User avatar

But I really like my car, and my mechanic . . . I can keep them?


Image


User avatar
I see Consumer Reports ranked the Executive model in the supermarket cart side impact test as NA - but I'm not sure what that means.

CNG_car_right_front.jpg

User avatar
The ObamaCar. Doing for the American auto industry what collectivized agriculture did for the Soviet Union.

Since this is being done for The People by Our Dearly Beloved Leader™, it will also be known as the "People's Car".

User avatar
Another Triumph from Dear Leader: the ObamaCar POS (Pollution Opposing System) CIGS (copper indium gallium (di)selenide) powered vehicle, with wind and methane power conversion. Imagine being whisked along effortlessly in your shiny new taxpayer heavily subsidized Solyndra hybrid personal transportation unit. Almost silent running, this baby grabs all the free energy renewables you could ever want or need. There is even a methane collection option in the driver seat... for some, this alone will be enough to complete a daily morning commute. This feature packed technology does not come cheap, but Federal subsidies will make this vehicle of the future affordable to every American who has up to now been denied their rights to an energy efficient non-polluting mode of free transportation.

Image

User avatar
Beloved Comrades!
What about transportation for the Inner Party? Surely, those who are more equal than others deserve state-funded affordable exempt-from-ObamaCar modes of transport?
Introducing...The "Politburomobile"!
ObamaCarExemption.jpg

With standard factory installed equipment of course!
ObamaCarExemption1.jpg

User avatar
Red Walrus wrote:

But I really like my car, and my mechanic . . . I can keep them?


Image

Lose the car Comrade...keep the mechanic!

toilet_car.jpg
because your inglorious leader is too busy playing on the links to care about broken links, he will need this handy dandy accoutrement to ensure that he will not be sidetracked...period!

User avatar
This just in: J.D. Power and Associates have just given the ObamaCar a Five-Star "Liberal Smug Satisfaction" rating!

User avatar
Red Walrus wrote:

But I really like my car, and my mechanic . . . I can keep them?


Image

She looks French. "You need grinding on zee tailpipe Monsieur?"

Comrades, as a new member of this glorious collective I'm pleased to announce how grateful I am that Comrade Obama applied his unique genius to the automobile industry. I predict it will be every bit as successful as Obamacare!


User avatar
KomradesI just found out that the Obamacar comes in three models - gold, silver or bronze. Look at the bronze beauty I just signed up for on CarCare.gov!
Obamacar retro model.jpg

User avatar
Now, there have been a few folks who's cars were cancelled by dronestrike,
but that's only 5% and they are getting better cars. Or their survivors will.

" What the President said and what everybody said all along is that there are going to be changes brought about by the Affordable Car Act to create minimum standards of driving, minimum services that every mechanic has to provide," Carney said.
"So it's true that there are existing car plans on the individual market that don't meet those minimum standards and therefore do not qualify for the Affordable Car Act."

Is just the thing for Comrades with no disposable income who can't afford to go anywhere after paying health insurance premiums. And the Hitchhikers Collective is also putting the finishing touches on the soon to be announced Mandatory Pick Up Law.

User avatar
Comrade Pistov wrote:Is just the thing for Comrades with no disposable income who can't afford to go anywhere after paying health insurance premiums. And the Hitchhikers Collective is also putting the finishing touches on the soon to be announced Mandatory Pick Up Law.
Will this include a thumb tax?

User avatar
RedDiaperette wrote:
Comrade Pistov wrote:Is just the thing for Comrades with no disposable income who can't afford to go anywhere after paying health insurance premiums. And the Hitchhikers Collective is also putting the finishing touches on the soon to be announced Mandatory Pick Up Law.
Will this include a thumb tax?

Yes, comrade. Not to be confused with a tack tax at the hardware store.

User avatar
lada.jpg
Comrades!

I am pleased to announce that I now have the hottest mode of people's transport in the collective!

You will drool with envy as I attract scores of voluptuous comrade factory worker babes with my new Lada “Sportski” Z-1 Turbo!!

Note how the state of the art aerodynamic “wings” blend seamlessly into the sleek contoured lines of this glorious automotive achievement!!

Also, observe the fashionable yet utilitarian roof rack for carrying a wide array of digging implements to and from the beet fields.

User avatar
This thread reminds me of the very first article posted on the People's Cube April 1, 2005.

The Lumpenwagon: People's Housing and Locomotion Unit

Image
We in the spirit of Lenin and Stalin have liberated the People from the oil-carriages that the exploiters use to keep them in submission. The Lumpenwagon need only the fervent energy and motivation of the proletarians to propel it towards greatness!

We humbly petition The Central Committee to alter the next Five Year Plan to build these Universal People Transporters and free State resources for the armed struggle against war and imperialism.

Plans and drawings attached.


https://thepeoplescube.com/current-trut ... it-t5.html

User avatar
Che' Ramie wrote:Beloved Comrades!
What about transportation for the Inner Party? Surely, those who are more equal than others deserve state-funded affordable exempt-from-ObamaCar modes of transport?
Introducing...The "Politburomobile"!
ObamaCarExemption.jpg

With standard factory installed equipment of course!
ObamaCarExemption1.jpg
As an Inner-Party member I must object to the standard package, Comrade Che.

I like big butts, and I cannot lie.

Hopefully you will understand and as Inner-Party Car Czar you will make sure the selection of accessories are well suited and varied to suit our highly evolved and delicately nuanced Inner-Party proclivities.

User avatar
Image
Peoples' Director Red Square,

Thank you for posting the link to the very first posting posted.
Looking backward encourages us all to look FORWARD toward Next Tuesday where what went around will again come around...

User avatar
INGSOC wrote:
Che' Ramie wrote:Beloved Comrades!
What about transportation for the Inner Party? Surely, those who are more equal than others deserve state-funded affordable exempt-from-ObamaCar modes of transport?
Introducing...The "Politburomobile"!
The attachment ObamaCarExemption.jpg is no longer available

With standard factory installed equipment of course!
The attachment ObamaCarExemption1.jpg is no longer available
As an Inner-Party member I must object to the standard package, Comrade Che.

I like big butts, and I cannot lie.

Hopefully you will understand and as Inner-Party Car Czar you will make sure the selection of accessories are well suited and varied to suit our highly evolved and delicately nuanced Inner-Party proclivities.
Duly noted my worthy Ing! Of course the "Equality Rule" will be waived for all Inner Party members (as are all rules & regulations meant for the common proles)! Will this adjustment do?
bb.jpg

User avatar
Che' Ramie wrote:
INGSOC wrote:
Che' Ramie wrote:Beloved Comrades!
What about transportation for the Inner Party? Surely, those who are more equal than others deserve state-funded affordable exempt-from-ObamaCar modes of transport?
As an Inner-Party member I must object to the standard package, Comrade Che.

I like big butts, and I cannot lie.

Hopefully you will understand and as Inner-Party Car Czar you will make sure the selection of accessories are well suited and varied to suit our highly evolved and delicately nuanced Inner-Party proclivities.
Duly noted my worthy Ing! Of course the "Equality Rule" will be waived for all Inner Party members (as are all rules & regulations meant for the common proles)! Will this adjustment do?

RACIST.jpg

User avatar
Yes Comrade Che. That will do nicely. We shall craft legislation to advance feminist causes together.

User avatar
This is all in very bad taste considering how many times Dummy Wassername-Shultz has had her face parked on and her hair sucked into the fan belt.

User avatar
This is a brilliant piece of central planning, comrade. Expect a couple of extra litres of vodka* to be added to the fluid in your jar as a reward.


*Not imperialist crap like Grey Goose but the much better quality North Korean product, Cooked Goose.


 
POST REPLY