Climate Change Blamed for 'Icy Reception' to Obama Speech

Experts in the world's only settled science were shocked as dramatic new evidence has emerged that climate change is much worse than even the most dire forecasts had predicted.

As President Obama visited the US Military Academy at West Point to give a commencement address that could only be described as "awesome," his speech received what a state-approved and licensed CNN journalist termed an "icy reception."

This followed a bizarre incident where the wildly-popular and much beloved president received "tepid applause and a short standing ovation from less than one-quarter of the audience upon his introduction" according to stunned credentialed journalists who witnessed the surrealistic scene.



"This is an incredible worsening of climate change in just five years," said Charles Gore-Kerry, a fictional amalgam of the biggest climate change experts, one we were forced to create because no one would talk to us.

"Back in 2009, Barack Obama could not go to the toilet without receiving a 20-minute standing ovation! Now, just five years later, it's obvious most of these people are frozen solid in their seats! At this rate, by late 2015, there will be no ice in the Arctic and all of Obama's audience will be glaciated, far ahead of what the hockey stick graph predicted," Charles Gore-Kerry warned.

Stunned by deterioration in the earth's climate, the president is expected to propose taking dramatic new action on Climate Change, such as scheduling any future speeches in warmer places, like Hawaii.
 

 

Opiate of the People reported:"Stunned by deterioration in the earth's climate, the president is expected to propose taking dramatic new action on Climate Change, such as scheduling any future speeches in warmer places like Hawaii.....near the back nine! "
 

I'm afraid the growing non-adoration of Dear Leader caused by climate change means we need to fast track the final solution in the current 5 yr. plan.

 

Are we sure this wasn't just racism? In either case, nothing a good purge of the officer corps wouldn't fix. Uncle Joe would approve.
 

Perhaps the reception would have been warmer if he had bestowed diplomas and not pink slips. All he needed was to add the lie line, "if you like your military career, you can keep it." . [period]


 

Mother Page!
 

Dear Peoples Cube,
Who is Barak Obama?
sincerely,
John Galt
 

Opiate of the People

Stunned by deterioration in the earth's climate, the president is expected to propose taking dramatic new action on Climate Change, such as scheduling any future speeches in warmer places, like Hawaii.
I know a warm place he can go.
 

Comrade Obama's speech at West Point was patheticwonderful was it not? I was wondering, did his teleprompter freeze up a few dozen times during the 45 minute meandering and rambling first-rate monologue? And another thing, after looking at him for that 45 minutes, I began to vomit notice Dear Leader has developed a case of buck teeth. Does climate change cause an overbite?

Anyways, I sure learned a lot, collectivism is the only way to go, climate change causes buck teeth, the U.N. is our go to organization for help, throw billions of dollars out the window, but mostly, we are not weak. Praise be Dear Leader.
 

What I learned is that we are all exceptionalists now except for the exceptions ... or something.
 

Your interpretation is correct, Red. We are exceptional - just like everybody else. Now, where's my trophy (and my ration of beet vodka!)