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WaybackWhen: The Video Game of Better Times and Places

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Are you a lover of fantasy fiction feeling trapped in the 21st century with its corporations, consumerism, and other depressing aspects of Western prosperity? Are you a Progressive with a passionate longing for the pre-capitalist Golden Age of non-profit manufacturing, organic farming, and collectivist cultures thriving amidst non-industrial landscapes? Then WaybackWhen™ is for you!

Created for Western audiences by Nostalgia Productions in Taiwan, WaybackWhen™ is a set of escapist video games giving you the ultimate virtual experience of yesteryears no matter your cultural heritage. The scientifically accurate feel of the past is achieved by combining the three features that dominated the pre-industrial era: Poverty, Bad Hygiene, and Invasion.

The set consists of several themes that can be patched together and played in no particular order:

The Old Country: a fully loaded reenactment that will remind the player very sorely of why his family left their ancestral lands.

The Iron Fist: those who want a simulacrum of life under leadership of the wise and great, can relive epic tales of desperate and bloody scrambling under the aegis of sociopathic nutcases like Genghis Khan, Hitler, Attila, Stalin, Pol Pot, Torquemada, Montezuma, Sardanapalus, and Idi Amin. Body odor provided by customer.

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Pristine Environment: our back-to-the-nature customers will love this virtual world filled with mosquitoes, failed crops, dead and rotting livestock, battalions of crows, raccoons, assorted rampaging wolves, termites and grizzly bears. Enjoy the bucolic, carbon-footprint-free absence of electricity, soap, running water, tools, clothes, appliances, plastics, metals, or anything else manufactured by plundering and defacing Mother Earth.

Keep Those Bastards Off The Ark: meet Devonian, Triassic and Jurassic creatures you are lucky to have missed by being born in this time. Many of them are fearsomely ugly and extremely stupid predators with habits and tastes that are inexplicable to us if they are possibly understood by God.

Cemetery From Hell: a role-paying category that offers you farewell jousts at close quarters with distant family members you have never known and whose insensitivity and villainous behavior are making you hate yourself for who you are, tasking you with responsibility to redeem their collective sins. Work out your white guilt by beating the crap out of your slave-owning great-great-great typical white grandmother. Burn your imperialist ancestor's log cabin in 19th century Wyoming and scream in his face that you hate him for driving indigenous people off their lands. Infiltrate the Alamo and steal their food and ammunition. Help General Santa Anna to dismantle illegal settlements in Texas. You program the details; we provide the action.

Workers' Paradise: those who control the past, control the future! This centrally planned game teleports you to a people's democracy of your choice: Cuba, North Korea, or now defunct Soviet Union with its Eastern Bloc allies. You may be pressing the buttons, but it's the government that decides your next move. Spend unforgettable hours of waiting in line, starting around the block from the food store and slowly moving towards the objective. Major challenges: someone cuts in the line and the food runs out before you reach the counter. Receive a Five-Year-Plan quota from the government and fulfill it in four years despite the lack of materials and spare parts. Cheat codes are available.

Increase life expectancy by subscribing to the official Party organ, which is also your only version of toilet paper. Advance to a new level by reporting on your communal apartment neighbor and move into his room after he gets arrested. This level requires sharp instincts and fast reflexes: if you don't act fast, it is you who will be interrogated as your neighbor's mother-in-law moves into your quarters. Don't despair - A Trip To The Gulag extension will satisfy your urge to live in a proletarian dictatorship just as well. (All references to the People's Republic of China have been expunged on request by Chinese government).

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WaybackWhen is the ultimate educational aide for public school students with aversion towards work, parents, and civilization as a whole, which they see as a tool of oppression. The game will transport them to another reality, where they can relive the lives of more fortunate teenagers from the previous centuries with such additional plugins as The Whipping Boy, Village Idiot, Meet the Vikings, and Rape by King's Soldiers. The survivors will in most cases return to their parents as respectful and appreciative sons and daughters, never again taking what they have for granted.

To enhance your WaybackWhen experiences, every purchase comes with a month-worth supply of discount coupons from Vintage Foods, our Panamanian subsidiary that will provide you with warm rotting meats, limp vegetables, and unfiltered water from a river in a geographical area of your choosing, filled with region-specific bacteria.

For the clientele who have had enough and prefer other worlds, we have a theme set in a giant padlocked spaceship that is moored in a Jersey City port and goes nowhere. A full collection of works by L. Ron Hubbard is optional.

Why, one may ask, should one buy such a game from a Taiwanese manufacturer, even at a lower price, when similar elaborate amusements are being offered by American firms? We are more authentic about your history because we didn't see all those Hollywood movies or taken history classes in your Ivy League schools. Also because it is not our past. We do not romanticize ours and have absolutely no desire to go back in time. We love our present. Trust us, nobody is offering a comparable game about Taiwan in Taiwan.

COMING SOON: Multiculturalist Action Video Game

Explore various cultures of the world with these memorable activities:

  • Genital mutilation: give yourself and your loved ones a gift of cliterectomy with a sharpened bone of a vulture and no anesthesia.
  • Stoning: throw rocks at the neighbor's half-buried wife and see if she will moan exactly how you had fantasized about it all this time.
  • Voodoo: get covered in pulsating animal entrails as you send a plague on the house of your corporate employer.
  • You are what you eat: crash a mysterious initiation ritual in a cannibal village and don't forget to use flash while taking pictures.
  • And many more unforgettable activities that will burn a message on top of your brain that all cultures are equality valid and acceptable as partners in redistributing world's resources.
This story was a joint project with our friend Matthew Paris, who came up with the original idea of WaybackWhen video games and offered some of their implementations.

INSTANT UPDATE:


By the time this post was published, Matthew Paris came up with yet another WaybackWhen installment, which we promptly illustrated:

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WOMB TOMB:
the ultimate experience in retrograde existence

Womb Tomb offers an uncanny virtual reality of audio-visual pre-natal perceptions. It can be used for nascent hours of saturnine amusement; it is as well a kind of castle-keep five finger exercise for transconceptual meditation, used by spiritual ipissimi as a cognitive preparation for deep dream therapy in caves or one's Arctic Fortress of Solitude refuges.

It is a powerful ontological venom that can deftly rob the purblind of their notions of seasonal design of the world; sometimes also gently loosens the cerebellum, lightens the tyros in such dour peregrinations of their very sanity.

Produced by Taipei's premiere video game makers Nostalgia Inc., Womb Tomb has received a J. Edgar Hoover "Genius" Grant; marketed cheaply, even given away, its constant use in volume effectively keeps people out of trouble. There's not much one can do to wreak political or even private havoc when one is playing Womb Tomb besides except take an ax to the computer, trample on it with sharp fanged cleats, and bawl pre-Babylonia hymns and runes to Marduk in a rapt choleric rage.

Afterwards even if one is a ravening maniac dripping green saliva, one is constrained by fashion, commerce or deeper ineluctable hungers to buy another computer, a more elaborate and elegant version of Womb Tomb. Or throw oneself into the tough embrace of the Nanny State, for which this game is an apt training exercise.

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Bigger versions:<br /><br /><img src="/images/WaybackWhen_Dinosaurs.jpg" width="400" height="638" /><br /><br /><img src="/images/WaybackWhen_WorkersParadise.jpg" width="400" height="638" />

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Wow, this sounds great, returning to the time of my great grandparents, living in a Jewish community on the steppe, having my house burned down by cossacks, and perhaps being lucky enough to be murdered by them so I don't have to watch them rape my wife and daughter. That sure beats living in the current American fascist police state (and I have been assured by more than one person that we in the U.S. do indeed live in a fascist state).

And if I can't return to those nostalgic past times, and I simply must remain here in the 21st century, can I at least bitch slap Oliver Stone? After all "my people" and I do control the media, and foreign policy, and McDonald's secret sauce, and . . .

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I love me some Workers' Paradise! I must have been purged a couple hundred times before I got the gist of the game. One time my character farted during a workers' committee meeting and was dragged out of the hall and shot next to a pile of rotting refuse. Talk about nostalgia, comrades!
A little hint: In order to beat the first few levels, you have to denounce and fabricate charges against your fellow workers so that you can rise to the position of director at the No. 10 munitions factory. After that you will be offered Party membership where your task will be to purge major cities of at least forty thousand suspected enemies of the state. I'm told by a friend that if you start purging people in the hundreds of thousands you will eventually be awarded a medal and an apartment with running water in glorious Moscow! Ah, this game brings back such fond, fond memories! The youth will surely benefit from this game and gain a few skills in office politics.

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Great Stalin's Ghost wrote:"my people" and I do control the media, and foreign policy, and McDonald's secret sauce, and . . .
... and the pig blood deliberately added to cigarettes exported to Muslim countries.

Zionist Philip Morris & Pig Blood Cigarettes

Come on, don't be shy, it's a brilliant strategy that accomplishes... not sure what exactly it accomplishes, but then again I'm not as smart as some of your Elders of Zion are, who habitually see the future and calculate the game a hundred steps ahead, so that when it appears that they are losing they are actually winning.

I guess the purpose of this particular Pig Blood Smokes conspiracy is to get a knee-jerk Islamic reaction that would give good Muslims a reputation of paranoid, irrational people, thus discrediting all their past scientific achievements.

And playing WaybackWhen games can give one precisely this kind of diabolical insight into human condition. The Zionists have been playing it long before the computers were invented. How? By entering the past using WaybackWhen game from the future, of course! And if you can't wrap your mind around it, that just shows how much smarter they are than the average human being.

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Sumthin eez nah righ, ahs eye cannoh see the preety peekchurs.


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Red Square wrote:
And playing WaybackWhen games can give one precisely this kind of diabolical insight into human condition. The Zionists have been playing it long before the computers were invented. How? By entering the past using WaybackWhen game from the future, of course! And if you can't wrap your mind around it, that just shows how much smarter they are than the average human being.
Oh, did I forget to mention that we also control time and space? Lately, in fact, as we've been sitting around the secret Zionist headquarters, tossing back bottles of Manischewitz, and tossing around some new protocols, we've been thinking of shaking things up on the time/space front; just for fun, ya know, because that's what we do. For example:
In his proposal, time and space can be converted into one another, with a varying speed of light as the conversion factor. Mass and length are also interchangeable, with the conversion factor depending on both a varying gravitational “constant” and a varying speed of light (G/c2). Basically, as the universe expands, time is converted into space, and mass is converted into length. As the universe contracts, the opposite occurs.
See? That sounds like fun, doesn't it? And I'm sure it will add new dimensions of fun and excitement to the WayBackWhen games.


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Great Stalin's Ghost -

That theory comes from Big Bang deniers!!!

Model describes universe with no big bang, no beginning, and no end
... a new class of cosmological models that may fit observations of the universe better than the current big bang model.
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That's preposterous! Didn't they get the memo that THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED?

In compliance with best practices of our Utopian past, these deniers must be burned at the stake for heresy, apostasy, and treason to scientific consensus.

Which reminds us to develop a new installment in the WaybackWhen series, going back all the way to the Big Bang. Will Al Gore be an appropriate choice as the narrator?

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The release of the new Big-Bang-denying theory by the Taiwanese professor almost day-to-day matches the release of WaybackWhen by Nostalgia Productions in Taiwan. Coincidence? I think not! Congress must investigate the involvement of Wun-Yi Shu from Tsing Hua in WaybackWhen.

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Comrade Buffoon -

For the most equal advancement of progressive video gaming, you are hereby nominated for the position of Gaming Czar. Your duties will include gaming the system and ensuring the fairness and equality in all games by fixing the score and rigging the playing field so that all players end up with equal outcomes.

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This is such a fertile, unexplored area! More recommended video games for all ages:

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Red Square wrote:Comrade Buffoon -

For the most equal advancement of progressive video gaming, you are hereby nominated for the position of Gaming Czar. Your duties will include gaming the system and ensuring the fairness and equality in all games by fixing the score and rigging the playing field so that all players end up with equal outcomes.
So long as that outcome is not my outcome. Some of us are more equal than others and our outcomes are determined by status, connections, and how many scores of the useless we sent to shovel permafrost. Here, comrade Buffoon -- a little somethin' somethin' to keep my outcome the most equal of outcomes.
PARTYFAVORS.gif

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Esteemed Chairman! In order to facilitate a proper redistribution of Party Favor$, the image has been added at #1 position in our clipart collection. You may now drag the image into your post whenever you feel like it benefits your very special needs.

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Red Square wrote:Esteemed Chairman! In order to facilitate a proper redistribution of Party Favor$, the image has been added at #1 position in our clipart collection. You may now drag the image into your post whenever you feel like it benefits your very special needs.

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Thank you, comrade. Like Arlen Spectre, I feel the icy cold grip of irrelevance tugging at my hem -- especially after being denied an invite to Chelsea's wedding! -- and know that Party Favor$ can keep myself, and others, in the good graces of the influential. Spread them accordingly, comrades! Party Favor$ just might keep you out of the gulag.

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Speaking of games and party favors and invites, is anyone here going to Obama's birthday party in Chicago tomorrow?

I figured since Michelle is busy going sleeveless in Spain, that I might hide inside the cake. I hear everyone is asked to bring a gift of $30,000, so that means lots of rich guys will be there wanting a piece. I'm also hoping for an effigy of Bush that we can throw shoes at till it busts open and maybe candy and coins will spill out.

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Speaking of games and party favors and invites, is anyone here going to Obama's birthday party in Chicago tomorrow?

I figured since Michelle is busy going sleeveless in Spain, that I might hide inside the cake. I hear everyone is asked to bring a gift of $30,000, so that means lots of rich guys will be there wanting a piece. I'm also hoping for an effigy of Bush that we can throw shoes at till it busts open and maybe candy and coins will spill out.
You mean to tell me that you were invited to Obama's super awesome birthday bash and I wasn't??? It's like the Party thinks I am a leper or something! First Chelsea's wedding and now Obama's birthday!!! I had a cute outfit picked out and everything! It's not fair!!! <runs to bedroom crying>

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Red Square wrote:Great Stalin's Ghost -

That theory comes from Big Bang deniers!!!

Model describes universe with no big bang, no beginning, and no end
... a new class of cosmological models that may fit observations of the universe better than the current big bang model.
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That's preposterous! Didn't they get the memo that THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED?

In compliance with best practices of our Utopian past, these deniers must be burned at the stake for heresy, apostasy, and treason to scientific consensus.

Which reminds us to develop a new installment in the WaybackWhen series, going back all the way to the Big Bang. Will Al Gore be an appropriate choice as the narrator?

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The release of the new Big-Bang-denying theory by the Taiwanese professor almost day-to-day matches the release of WaybackWhen by Nostalgia Productions in Taiwan. Coincidence? I think not! Congress must investigate the involvement of Wun-Yi Shu from Tsing Hua in WaybackWhen.
Big Bang denier? What? We are merely debating the issue. Was there a Bang? It may have only been a Little Bang. Or a Boom, perhaps a Big Boom. Or even a Phhht. It could have been an Immense Phhht or a Teeny Weeny Tweet. Why not a Schlishk, a Fwaddapp, or even a Thoof-foing? You see? In the interest of progressive science, these questions must be examined.

One thing that is not debatable, your new recommended video games clearly show that the whole country is turning into Detroit. That has to be a victory for Dear O'Leader.

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:I figured since Michelle is busy going sleeveless in Spain, that I might hide inside the cake.

I'm sure you will look spectacular, Commissarka! (You knew the picture was coming when you wrote that, didn't you?)

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I wish I were there inside the cake! I'm sure tomorrow you will share with the collective your triumphant entrance at the event and shoveling cake on Dear Leader's plate (followed by a dinner and a movie, perhaps?)

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Great Stalin's Ghost wrote:Wow, this sounds great, returning to the time of my great grandparents, living in a Jewish community on the steppe, having my house burned down by cossacks, and perhaps being lucky enough to be murdered by them so I don't have to watch them rape my wife and daughter.

GSG - I DENOUNCE YOU! The Revanchist concepts of "family", "grandparents", "parents", "children", "wives", "sons", and "daughters" are replaced in Our Glorious Heroic People's Obammunist Revolutionary Health System as "Interchangeable Biologically-Connected Units."

And the unverifiable history of unassimilated mongrel people (located, as you admit, on "the steppe", a well-known AntiRevolutionary area) only accentuates the Importance Of The State In History!

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Comrade Unkulturny wrote:
Great Stalin's Ghost wrote:Wow, this sounds great, returning to the time of my great grandparents, living in a Jewish community on the steppe, having my house burned down by cossacks, and perhaps being lucky enough to be murdered by them so I don't have to watch them rape my wife and daughter.

GSG - I DENOUNCE YOU! The Revanchist concepts of "family", "grandparents", "parents", "children", "wives", "sons", and "daughters" are replaced in Our Glorious Heroic People's Obammunist Revolutionary Health System as "Interchangeable Biologically-Connected Units."

And the unverifiable history of unassimilated mongrel people (located, as you admit, on "the steppe", a well-known AntiRevolutionary area) only accentuates the Importance Of The State In History!
Denounce me? Do you know who I am? Watch it comrade, or you'll be doing all of your future denouncing on a slow boat to non-personville. Catch my drift? Comrade!

But speaking of "Interchangeable Biologically-Connected Units." I think that term only works in the Religion of Peace.

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Great Stalin's Ghost -

Lookie what I found - STALIN VS. MARTIANS - a real actual game!

On the other note, perhaps it's time you get an avatar. Thoughts?

Stalin_Alien.jpg

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Comrade Unkulturny wrote:
Great Stalin's Ghost wrote:Wow, this sounds great, returning to the time of my great grandparents, living in a Jewish community on the steppe, having my house burned down by cossacks, and perhaps being lucky enough to be murdered by them so I don't have to watch them rape my wife and daughter.

GSG - I DENOUNCE YOU! The Revanchist concepts of "family", "grandparents", "parents", "children", "wives", "sons", and "daughters" are replaced in Our Glorious Heroic People's Obammunist Revolutionary Health System as "Interchangeable Biologically-Connected Units."

And the unverifiable history of unassimilated mongrel people (located, as you admit, on "the steppe", a well-known AntiRevolutionary area) only accentuates the Importance Of The State In History!
Yes! Yes! Yes! This is the kind of wild-eyed adherence to Party doctrine that we need in these bleak times. You are to progress what Tom Cruise is to Scientology. I love it. Keep pointing that finger, comrade!

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Red Square wrote:Comrade Buffoon -

For the most equal advancement of progressive video gaming, you are hereby nominated for the position of Gaming Czar. Your duties will include gaming the system and ensuring the fairness and equality in all games by fixing the score and rigging the playing field so that all players end up with equal outcomes.

More Equaler RS,

I will certainly take on these duties with the gusto of Lenin's chin hair!

But I progress!

Having just returned from Flint, MI (where the Party Favors ™ bestowed by Chairman Punchenko go a long, long, long way)... (oh the filthy favors I received in trade from the Obama bust alone shall soil my dreams for days to come) I must formally proclaim Matthew Paris "King of New York" for a day in honor of his glorious agitprop!

C. Walkin surely will not mind... his quest for more cowbell occupies his time nicely...

Anywhoot, a recent Ebay search produced this vintage version of Tetris that I thought would fit nicely into this conversation...

Karl Marx Tetris.jpg
Aside: If Pinkies jumping out of cakes these days, I would like to use my remaining Party Favors ™ to hire her for the guys at the Peoples Pork Collective ™.

Its hot Comrades and the men deserve a little treat for their labors!

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Red Square wrote:Great Stalin's Ghost -

Lookie what I found - STALIN VS. MARTIANS - a real actual game!

On the other note, perhaps it's time you get an avatar. Thoughts?

Stalin_Alien.jpg
I'm allowed thoughts? Wow! I truly am more equal than others. And since I am more equal, I must win vs. the Martians.

Avatar? I do gaze longingly at other members' avatars. I assume there are instructions somewhere on how to create one? With or without my shovel and wading boots.

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When I saw the Chairman had responded to my post, I was all set to tell him that I hadn't an invitation to either event; that I'd slipped into Chelsea's wedding by hiding under Hillary's caftan.

I was going to suggest--after admonishing him to stop blubbering and wipe his nose--that he come to Obama's party dressed as a Chippendale, or a clown who makes balloon animals, or even--dare I say it--a Mime.*

But that was before I saw this:

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I think this makes a much better card than that hokey OFA thing Michelle wants everyone to sign, but I fear you may have shattered the fantasies of many a comrade who's lost sleep wondering what I look like from the neck down.

I notice Whoopie and Betinov are steering clear of this thread. Can't imagine why, can you?

*Though The Mime™ can't actually be at Obama's party, we can take comfort in the thought that he'll surely be there in spirit!

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Great Stalin's Ghost wrote:Avatar? I do gaze longingly at other members' avatars. I assume there are instructions somewhere on how to create one? With or without my shovel and wading boots.
I just happened to have some free time on my hands (trying to delay serious work for the Common Good™). So I thought of these three possibilities. Choose the one you like and use its URL to set-up an avatar in your profile. If that's too complicated, let me know which one you like and I'll do it for you.

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:When I saw the Chairman had responded to my post ... I was going to suggest ... that he come to Obama's party dressed as a Chippendale, or a clown who makes balloon animals, or even--dare I say it--a Mime.

I think Chairman sneaking to Obama's birthday bash dressed as a Mime is the brightest idea on this thread so far. And I have some suggestions - can't decide about the Mime's hat, though.

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I'm sure tomorrow he can share his version of the story as seen through the Mime's spectacles, in addition to Pinkie's story as seen through the one eye that is not permanently winking (to hide the bruise after walking into a sign last night, that said "This highway is brought to you by Obama's stimulus money," although there is neither a highway, nor the money around the collective farm - only the sign that suddenly grew out of nowhere on the usual trail from Pinkie's hovel to the outhouse.)

There's no need to create separate threads - you two can share one thread, as the good comrades you are.

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As regards Malibu Party Pinkie, I am stupefied into silence. You have free cake? So much cake that you can freakin' wallow in it while dishing it out with a shovel? May I take this opportunity to ask you to marry me? Or at least cohabitate until the cake is gone?

As to Red Square's third Stalin's Ghost Avatar...All I can say is "specebo...bolshoi spacebo."


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Red Square wrote:
Great Stalin's Ghost wrote:Avatar? I do gaze longingly at other members' avatars. I assume there are instructions somewhere on how to create one? With or without my shovel and wading boots.
I just happened to have some free time on my hands (trying to delay serious work for the Common Good™). So I thought of these three possibilities. Choose the one you like and use its URL to set-up an avatar in your profile. If that's too complicated, let me know which one you like and I'll do it for you.

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Comrade Red Square, I tried, but I couldn't get an avatar to load. It is, of course, the fault of the Bush/Cheny junta, who still snake their slimy tentacles into our lives in order to subvert and wreck Obama/Pelosi/Reid's dream of a progressive future for us all. If you would be so kind as to use the one of me that that capitalist hound dog, Alvin Presley aped, I will share this week's beet and vodka ration.

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Hey, how about that. I figured it out. That is, I slipped one by the Bush/Cheny reactionary kulaks. Let's see what other mischief I can get into.

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Great Stalin's Ghost - you've got your wish of an avatar. In exchange we expect your soul, if your earthly host body ever had one.

That actually makes sense - Great Stalin's Ghost departing from Great Stalin's Host.

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Red Square wrote:Great Stalin's Ghost - you've got your wish of an avatar. In exchange we expect your soul, if your earthly host body ever had one.

That actually makes sense - Great Stalin's Ghost departing from Great Stalin's Host.

Implying Deity status? Or am I drunk?

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Red Square wrote:Great Stalin's Ghost - you've got your wish of an avatar. In exchange we expect your soul, if your earthly host body ever had one.

That actually makes sense - Great Stalin's Ghost departing from Great Stalin's Host.

Comrade Buffoon wrote:Implying Deity status? Or am I drunk?
Red Square, here is my soul, baby!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UI_JuLt ... re=related

Comrade Buffoon, have another vodka and "GET ON UP!"

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Of course, this video would also be apropos on the "PIMP MY MOSQUE" thread.

Shame on you all. You have forgotten the technologically challenged and/or deprived! What of those with no access or ability to operate a People's Game Cube or a Worker's Joystick? Those hopelessly confused by a simple on-off switch? Those living in carbon-neutral homes with no electricity? What of them?

Therefore I humbly propose to replace video games with ordinary Bore(d) Games: Sociopoly; Imperialists of Catan; Clueless; Slogan Scrabble (curses such as "freedom" not allowed); Operation (great medical training!); Dominatoes.

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Eujennya, should you not instead be agitating for a government-funded program to provide a free People's Game Cube for all deserving members of the collective?

Comrade Betinov: because of evil capitalist-imperialist experiments done on children of the toiling masses in secret laboratories, there are many talented, intelligent persons toiling for the collective who, had they a thousand People's Game Cubes a piece, could not even turn it on by themselves.
I am one of them. You have insulted me and thus violated my basic human right.

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Welcome to the collective, Comrade Eujennya. You will now undergo the mandatory orientation at the People's Toolshed and be issued a shovel. Walk this way.

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Eujennya, well do I remember my own dizziness with success when I first arrived at Party Central Headquarters oh so many years ago, my enthusiastic correcting of the actions of higher Party members, my bleating about my <snort> "human rights." True, it is a way to get the attention of the Party elite...but do you really want the attention of the Party elite?

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It's nice to see that Meow has decided to return to the Kollektive!!!

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Great Stalin's Ghost,

I got on up and then fell on down!

Your advice has crippled me!

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Comrade Buffoon,
What is this? Are you turning into a malingerer? As long as you can hold a shovel, you're just fine. Have another vodka (or two) and you will be as right as rain.

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We must not forget the board game front Comrades.

[img]/red/images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img]

Oh yes, there is ironically a market for "non competitive" games. I suggest drinking several days worth of vodka rations before reading this.

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:
But that was before I saw this:

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I notice Whoopie and Betinov are steering clear of this thread. Can't imagine why, can you?


Is it safe to come out yet? Comrade Red Square, I don't know which you enjoy more, teasing Pinkie or watching her take out her aggression on me.

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Whoopie, did you not get the wormhole remote I sent you? Granted it doesn't stop Pinkie, but it does buy you a little more time. And once you have a little time, you can buy more from me if needed. Usually we just keep looping you through the same 5 seconds when you realize that the shovel is about to descend upon your head, while an operative tries to distract her with chocolates and vodka.

Sometimes she even lets it work.

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I think Pinkie is ignoring us. I made a comment about her ladling out cake with a shovel and got no response.

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The most politically correct video game ending!


P.S.- I just bribed, er, socially agitated my way as a new People's Cube apparatchik. How can I display the "Prog On" and "Prog Off" images on my posts?

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So Kim...is that avatar genetically correct?

At any rate, the prog on, prog off (and a variety of other insertable images) are located in the editor for the rich. Just click on that little button just below the composition window to get there, then click on clip art to access
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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Speaking of games and party favors and invites, is anyone here going to Obama's birthday party in Chicago tomorrow?

I figured since Michelle is busy going sleeveless in Spain, that I might hide inside the cake. I hear everyone is asked to bring a gift of $30,000, so that means lots of rich guys will be there wanting a piece. I'm also hoping for an effigy of Bush that we can throw shoes at till it busts open and maybe candy and coins will spill out.
The Commissarka is right,The guys with 30 grand may want some cake as well.There was something called a "Way Back Machine", Mr. Peabody [a dog] may have been the user, along with Sherman. A scan of my brain come up blank on this, and a great many other topics.The more Vodka I drink, the blanker it gets, but who carez?


 
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