As most Americans sat down to watch the DNC response to President Bush's State of the Union address on Tuesday night, they did not expect the action to be accompanied by an unusual jumpy creature sitting on the left side of Tim Kaine's forehead. Experts on both sides of political aisle agree that the content of Tim Kaine's speech was completely overshadowed by what media circles are now referring to as "The Eyebrow" ("the eyes have it.")

The Virginia Governor's furry little pet left American viewers adjusting their TV sets, while the makers of Rogaine scrambled to see if a product malfunction had taken place. Sometimes the creature seemed to take on a life of its own, moving independently from the rest of Kaine's head, and at one point even leaving the room for a minute, only to return with a glass of water. Towards the end of the speech The Eyebrow appeared to exhibit anger and made several threatening gestures - in utter contrast to Kaine's otherwise mild-mannered performance.

A number of media pundits and political bloggers have questioned the motives behind The Eyebrow's attention-grabbing antics. A well-known anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan became incensed at the news, calling The Eyebrow a "media whore" that had stolen all TV cameras' attention away from her on the very night of her supposedly glorious comeback.

Two days after Tim Kaine's speech The Eyebrow was already being offered for sale on Ebay (the authenticity of the item has not been determined).

That's a freaking Vulcan if I ever saw one. He's even got the pointy ears. But I've got to tell the Cube.....that...isn't...an eyebrow! Hide the quadrotriticale, the man has a Tribble attached to his forehead! Isn't that right Bones?


Live Long and Prosper,
Cap'n Kirk

Damn it Jim!
I'm a doctor, not a political satirist!
But if I were to guess, yes, that's a rare carnivorous Tribble and it seems to be sucking the common sense out of his brain like a leech.
Now pass that bottle of Saurian brandy over here.

In a pigs eye,
Bones

I see no logical reason for insults Captain, the man is obviously not a Vulcan, but a pointy eared and pointy headed liberal. I also suspect the Tribble is part of some evil Klingon or Karl Rove plot to destroy the One World Federation even before it happens. And by the way....Live Long and Prosper, THAT"S MY LINE.


Spock

Aye, Captain, if we could just get one of them eyebrows, we cou' do away with our need for dilithium crystals. Those fuzzy, wee devils pack more energy than any substance in the galaxy!

Just watch that Kaine fellow! He's givin' 'er all she's got! If that wee beastie twitches anymore, she's gonna break up!

Silence, Comrades.

The Peoples' Commonwealth of Virginia's glorious new leader is above scorn. By campaigning as an evil, capitalist conservative, he has paved the way for Comrade Hillary to make a similar run in the ignorant, bourgeoisie Red States and on to VICTORY for national leader. You should beg for mercy from Comrade Kaine for your insolence before he purges you for the common good.

His seemingly erratic eyebrow movements may have looked comical on television, but nothing could be farther from the truth than its apparently random gesticulations. Two words: morse code. I hope, for your sake, comrades, that you took Kaine's directives to heart. . . .

James Tiberius Kirk wrote:That's a freaking Vulcan if I ever saw one. He's even got the pointy ears. But I've got to tell the Cube.....that...isn't...an eyebrow! Hide the quadrotriticale, the man has a Tribble attached to his forehead! Isn't that right Bones?


Live Long and Prosper,
Cap'n Kirk

You are wrong Kirk!!!! It is a Romulan. They look exactly like Vulcans, but they are more cruel and more war like. The Romulan empire will aid me and the DNC have our revenge by destroying you Kirk and the other corporate Little Eichmanns!!!!

Khan

Comrade Kaines eye-piece or "facial rug" in some circles is a peaceful progressive creature meaning no harm to us. During the glorious November revolutions in the Peoples Commonwealth "emphasis on the words common and wealth" I had the pleasure to sit down with Comrade Kaines eye-piece to discuss tax-hikes on fellow Virginians. Surely the vicious slander by the ex-crew of the starship free-enterprise is clearly the work of the Peoples Enemy KKKarl Rove. How much are they paying you off Kirk!!!!! Huh??? How much!!! Go back to your sugar daddy Bush and stay away from our progressive sanctuary!!

Filing the paperwork to revoke Kirks socialist-security benefits,
Chairman Meow

How are toilet paper and the Starship Enterprise similar?
They both circle Uranus and wipe out Klingons