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Obama Regresses to Cold War Mythology, Switches Sides
By Red Square
8/31/2009, 12:04 pm


POSTING OUT OF KARAKTER

As seen on Pajamas Media:
The world needs post-Cold War thinking. But Obama is stuck in a world of parochial clichés.
(By Oleg Atbashian. Published on PJM in six parts, here in one piece.)

1 - What change? Everything new is well-forgotten old

Why is this president always doing the opposite of what needs to be done?

Instead of supporting Iranian protesters, he snubs them. Instead of snubbing the ousted Honduran would-be dictator, he invites him to Washington. Instead of leading the world, he apologizes to it. Instead of offering a new vision, he resurrects hoary clichés. Instead of promoting liberty, he bows to kings and hugs tyrants.

Some think he acts like an enchanted prince; others think he's a spoiled brat. But there's a method to this madness; its logic should be obvious to anyone familiar with antiquated leftist clichés, which Barack Obama seems to have smuggled into the White House without as much as pausing to brush aside the decades-old creepy cobwebs.

A Russian saying suggests that "everything new is well-forgotten old" - which may also explain the voting pattern of recent public school graduates who think that nothing existed before they were born. However, as far back as 500 BC, Heraclitus cautioned that you cannot step into the same river twice, for fresh waters are ever flowing in upon you. To paraphrase, Obama shouldn't apply old ideas to new circumstances, for the unintended consequences shall expose the absurdity of his leftist doctrine. Yet that is exactly where he is heading - and it could actually be good news.
~
Back in 1991, when the USSR fell under the weight of its own lies like a house of marked cards, the U.S. remained the only superpower standing in a world twisted by decades of Cold-War-era deceptions, threats, bribes, subversion, and propaganda. It was a world filled with virulent anti-Americanism brought forth by distorted perceptions and fallacies planted by erstwhile KGB spymasters around the globe.

But instead of finishing the job and decontaminating the planet of hostile myths, America relaxed and began to enjoy the relative peace of the Clinton years. The president turned a blind eye to the gathering clouds, treating the growing incidents of geopolitical violence as freak accidents. In the meantime, the lab-grown virus of anti-Americanism multiplied and mutated, especially in the Middle East.

When trouble finally came to American soil, the Bush administration identified its source as twisted ideologies that were spreading in the absence of political freedom and economic opportunities. This problem could not be solved with the archaic Cold War-era stability doctrine, whereby America bribed and supported any government that promised alliance. That approach may have saved the world in the past, but in the post-Cold War era it had become both immoral and impractical, fostering government corruption and causing unnecessary resentment.

The old mentality had to go. It was now America's responsibility as a lone superpower, and victim of the attacks, to repair the world misshapen by ideological warfare. This change in thinking became known as the Bush Doctrine. Predictably, America's attempts to untwist the twisted world caused a painful and hostile reaction, especially from those who benefited from the existing deformity.

Obama has rejected that change; for that he was cheered on by a generation who grew up believing that deformity is beauty and ideological lunacy is the norm. But instead of moving forward, Mr. Obama puts America's gears in reverse and regresses to a romanticized leftist image of the past in which the U.S.A. is typecast as the archetypal reactionary villain battling the forces of progress. Only in this remake of the cult Cold War classic, America finally sees the light, feels remorseful, and surrenders - to critical acclaim from anal-retentive leftists trained to feel guilty for every joyful moment of living in a capitalist society.

Reporting on President Obama's response to the Honduran government's deportation of the would-be dictator Manuel Zelaya, the Guardian writes:

The Obama administration, conscious of the U.S.'s long history of supporting coups against Latin American leftists condemned the overthrow. The secretary of state, Hillary Clinton, said Washington's top priority was to restore full democratic and constitutional order in Honduras. Zelaya's removal had "evolved into a coup," she said.

Leave it to the left-leaning Guardian writers to recognize their own ideology when they see it. At least they are honest enough to attribute Obama's position on Honduras to his outright acceptance of Cold War-era axioms and the presumption of America's guilt. Apparently for this very reason, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton - who in her primary debates had promised never to give dictators a propagandistic platform by meeting with them - invited Zelaya to Washington and issued him a propagandistic platform.

But abandoning pro-American forces and propping up anti-American dictators can't really be what the word "change" meant to most voters during the elections. What is happening now looks more like restoring Cold War front lines and defecting to the other side, presumably in the name of correcting historical injustice. It's similar to the psychiatric method of regressing to an earlier stage of the patient's life in order to relive old traumatic experience with a more positive outcome.

The problem with that is, the ideas of Cold War-related injustice and guilt are the products of false conscience planted by elaborate propaganda. The picture that Obama is trying to reverse is an airbrushed, made-in-the-USSR fabrication. Flipping the wrong picture upside down doesn't make it right - it still is the wrong picture, only upside down.

Generated in the depths of KGB think tanks, the Cold War-era propaganda template is comprised of the following linked axioms:

  1. Socialism is "progress."
  2. Aversion to "progress" is a sign of outmoded backward thinking.
  3. All forward-thinking people are leftists.
  4. Leftists always speak for all people.
  5. People always unanimously support leftist leaders.
  6. Leftists are always under assault from the well-organized capitalist enemy.
  7. All workers and peasants hate capitalist exploiters.
  8. Armed resistance to a leftist government can only conceivably be staged by CIA agents in the service of American imperialism.
  9. Capitalists engage in relentless anti-socialist propaganda, subversion, and sabotage; they will commit any crime in order to kill hope and prevent the masses from liberation.
  10. The dying non-socialist sector of the world is run by a criminal conspiracy of capitalist oligarchs operating from the United States (and sometimes from Israel when appropriate).

Evidently, if President Obama didn't share these received views, he wouldn't have felt the need to apologize before the world for America's alleged wrongdoings - a gesture that could only reinforce such stereotypes. If his policies weren't driven by these tenets, he wouldn't be using the powers of the U.S. president to prop up the forces that oppose America's founding principles of liberty while denying support to those who want to live by such principles.

The reason many Americans haven't realized it yet is that most media coverage is also born of the same old yellowed clichés.

And yet no media bias can obfuscate the fact, clearly demonstrated by events in Iran and Honduras, that even in the absence of U.S.-led conspiracies, anti-American tyrants are still not welcome, popular resistance still happens, and even when the U.S. president switches sides and pulls for the other team, people of the world still desire economic freedoms and individual rights - the only constant force that drives real progress.

The same people who chanted the mantra of "change" are having a hard time noticing the real change happening in the world today. Apparently, in their view, any change that contradicts the above template is either not happening, in which case it's a fabrication of imperialist propaganda, or being forced on the world against its wishes, in which case the perpetrator can only be the criminal, capitalist cabal at the heart of American imperialism with its long and ruthless arm of the CIA. Any mention of oil or gas in this context becomes undeniable proof of this theory.

In this sense, Obama's notion of "change" is not change at all, but rather a regression to a mythological past, which impedes the real change the world so desperately needs.


 
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By Red Square
8/31/2009, 12:14 pm


2 - Following Obama's quest into the magic world of mythology

How many of you, upon hearing about an overthrow of a leftist dictator, instinctively thought of a CIA plot?

How many, at least at some point in your lives, believed that aggressive U.S. meddling ignited hot spots on the world map? That any pro-U.S. leader of a small country is probably a CIA puppet? That the American model of individual liberty and capitalism was being imposed on the people of Latin America, Asia, Eastern Europe, and the Middle East against their will, and they might be happier with leftist tyrants?

These are the attitudes leftist propaganda is designed to create - but they may also be the result of an elitist presumption that people of the world cannot think for themselves and have no room in their souls for individual ambitions and achievements outside of what the government is giving them. Short of stating it explicitly, elitism implies that "the masses" are mindless, spiritless creatures without free will, always in need of the largesse of the state, and for their own good the state ought to nationalize the country's resources in order to feed its subjects.

There is a reason why snobby elites on the Upper West Side of Manhattan generously donate to leftist causes and support leftist politicians. Snobs and radicals often act in accord because they are not opposites, as some believe, but rather spiritual cousins - equally despising "the bourgeois," sharing a low view of humanity as herd animals, and sorting people not on their individual merits but by color, income, occupation, ethnicity, gender, and any other characteristic except the content of their minds. Such beliefs have often served as a veiled excuse for tyranny.

This thinking is the direct opposite of the ideal of individual liberty, on which the United States was founded and which defines this country's exceptionalism. As such, elitist and leftist beliefs are downright un-American - a term that today has become a fighting word, used broadly by both right and left, sometimes with a completely opposite meaning. Not to be outdone, snobs and radicals have also evolved a natural loathing for American "bourgeois" principles.

But the view of America as the command center of the international capitalist conspiracy is definitely not a product of natural evolution, but rather a foreign implant going back to the days of the Cold War.

And since Cold War perceptions continue to have such a negative effect on today's reality, we may have no other choice but to pause and reluctantly follow Obama's quest into the magic world of Cold War mythology to relive old legends. Except for us, a more positive outcome would mean not to place the Minotaur on the list of protected species, but rather to use real historical facts to guide us into the heart of the deceptive labyrinth and to slay this evil ideology that thrives on human sacrifice. Then, hopefully, we can all bid farewell to the painful past and finally move on to more peaceful and productive lives.

First of all, one cannot maintain intellectual and moral integrity while decrying a U.S. presence in the hot spots of the Cold War, if one does not also mention the presence in the same hot spots of the Soviet espionage agencies, the KGB and the GRU. Their job was to ignite the hot spots and then fan the flames, spreading the fire to the rest of the world. The U.S. objectives were quite the opposite - to extinguish or at least to localize the fire - which made American involvement a necessary if often inadequate antidote.

To blame the hot spots on the U.S. presence would be as insane as to blame fires on firefighters because their trucks are always at the scene.

One's perception of America as a hero or a villain in this case depends on whether one thinks that socialism is indeed "progress of mankind." For believers in the leftist version of "progress," America will inevitably come off as evil, arrogant, or at least misguided. The workings of the leftist template are such that when a single axiom is accepted all other axioms follow, being links of one chain. The Soviet non-presence is also an axiom, an invisible and unspoken part of the template that allows deception to advance leftist causes - the end justifies the means.

Using this template is like riding a bicycle - once you learn, you never forget. It is simple and easy to work with. For example, applying its clichés to the American role in WWII, anyone with minimal rhetorical skills can come up with a news story headlined "The D-Day Massacre: Atrocities 'R' U.S.," describing Normandy as an unprovoked attack on a peaceful international resort full of disabled people on vacation from Germany. Try to disprove this news if the Nazi artillery is not even mentioned.

Likewise, it's impossible to disprove the leftist "history of American imperialism" without knowing that just about every Cold War conflict began as a premeditated KGB operation. Ridiculing "red scare paranoia" while withholding information about the Soviet involvement has proven to make the opponents tongue-tied and feeling like fools fighting with a shadow. That is why the substitution of facts with a revised history that minimizes or airbrushes the Soviet role in the Cold War is of such a crucial importance, helping the left to prevail in the larger propagandistic argument and win the hearts and minds of the general public.

Having come here from the USSR - a country whose government invented this strategy and lived by it - I was astonished by the abundance of leftist propagandistic clichés in the American mainstream media. The exclusion of the Soviet connection in any discussion of America's culpability is one such cliché. It is a telltale sign of a prefabricated myth.

Where's the "imperialist propaganda" when you need it? The leftist propaganda encountered so little resistance in the land of the alleged "capitalist conspiracy" that an airbrushed version of history has almost universally replaced the truth in the media, education, and entertainment. The intended result is the widespread notion of America's guilt. One doesn't even need to be a leftist anymore to believe in this country's image as a violent empire controlled by greedy capitalist oligarchies that dictate its policies.

Since such beliefs make one an easy dupe for further leftist indoctrination and potential conversion, the incitement of anti-American hysteria has long become a major focus of leftist propaganda efforts. To this end, the radical left has gone as far as to join forces with Islamic extremists in a series of world-wide anti-American protest marches that blame all the world's violence on "U.S. imperialism." They also cooperate in less obvious areas such as disseminating depraved conspiracy theories or fabricating alleged "U.S. atrocities" in the Middle East and planting them in the media - attributing any bloodshed, regardless of its source, to the U.S. presence in the region. To the radical left, the War on Terror is little more than a convenient excuse to demonize America, proselytize, and recruit new members.

Why don't the "cabal of capitalist oligarchies" move a finger to protect their alleged investments and stop the agitation and propaganda that threatens to ruin all they have worked for and expose their existence? This is not the behavior one might expect from a greedy, all controlling oligarch, is it? They surely don't make capitalist conspiracies like they used to - almost makes one lose faith in their existence.

In the days of the Cold War, as America was being branded as the single source of all global violence and misery, the USSR brazenly continued to sponsor subversion, guerrilla movements, and leftist dictators. It continued to use its enormous global spy network to transfer hundreds of millions of dollars, often in the form of briefcases filled with cash, to finance uprisings, sabotage, assassinations, misinformation, as well as to recruit agents and to corrupt democratic elections in foreign countries. This was all done in the name of spreading Marxism-Leninism and exporting the revolution to other continents. And that was besides the generous donations given to puppet communist parties throughout the world, including within the United States and Israel.

With these facts withheld, America's behavior may understandably strike one as being overly aggressive, irrational, and even schizophrenic. When resistance to belligerent communism gets dismissed as a probable cause, the vacuum is filled with off-the-wall conspiracies involving global oligarchies, a military-industrial complex, maniacal CIA directors, and the preferred bugaboo of the left - greedy American imperialism.

The Afghan conflict didn't begin with the Soviet invasion in 1979. It started a year earlier, when a handful of KGB puppets in Kabul staged a "people's revolution" and declared that the coup was "unanimously supported by the Afghan workers and peasants." Only when the puppets were unable to defend themselves from the people whom they claimed to represent did Moscow reluctantly send in its army. The soldiers - barely trained young conscripts from Soviet towns and villages - were told they would be performing "the duty of international solidarity" on the invitation from the "people's government." Before long, a pile-up of stale propagandistic clichés resulted in an inexcusable, criminal slaughter of tens of thousands of innocents on both sides, turning this previously quiet country into a permanent disaster area and a global hot spot for decades to come.

At about the same time, across the border a pro-American democratic government under Shah Mohammad Reza Pahlavi of Iran was being undermined and discredited in a massive campaign of agitation and sabotage designed and coordinated from Moscow. The local leftists, some of them KGB agents, were laying the groundwork for a similar "people's revolution" in Tehran. But the Islamic radicals moved in first, seized the power, and threw the communists in jail, correctly seeing them as the most dangerous competition at the time - without so much as a thank you for helping the revolution. The resulting Islamic Republic of Iran has become a rogue state ruled by an oppressive theocratic regime that sponsors terror, destabilizes the world, and is now developing a nuclear weapon.

The civil war in Yemen in the 1970s - known as the Middle Eastern "Vietnam" - was yet another Moscow attempt to set a foothold in the Middle East. It turned into a long proxy war between the superpowers that split the country in half. In the south, the radical Marxist government of the puppet People's Democratic Republic of Yemen was backed by the Soviet navy stationed in its sea ports. Incidentally, this is also where the bin Laden family lived, one of many Yemeni clans radicalized by this conflict, just as the Afghani clans were radicalized by the Soviet occupation.

Using Cuba as a foothold in Latin America, Kremlin emissaries destabilized this traditionally anti-communist region by subverting its labor unions, brainwashing its students, igniting class hatred, and setting off a series of coups, bloody guerrilla wars, and corrupt elections. Their presence was invariably followed by humanitarian and economic disasters, starting with Cuba and on to Chile, Grenada, Venezuela, El Salvador, Nicaragua, Peru, Bolivia, and Guatemala.

Not exactly paragons of prosperity themselves, the Soviet bloc countries spent lavishly on promoting pacifist movements in the west, while spending even more to finance foreign invasions. Communist guerrillas of El Salvador, for example, received Soviet and East European weapons and military assistance not just from neighboring Cuba and Nicaragua, but even from such far-away Soviet allies as Libya and Vietnam.

Vietnam was, of course, the most prominent made-in-the-USSR hot spot and the biggest success story of the Soviet deception. It fell to communist rule as a result of a victorious worldwide propaganda campaign that demonized America as a violent colonialist aggressor, and quickly became a starving socialist dictatorship with a failing economy.

Setting off one conflict after another, the USSR never failed to blame the resulting violence on American presence and the CIA, while positioning itself as a force for peace and progress. But the fact is, the CIA was created in 1947 only as a response to the worldwide presence of the KGB, which by then had already been in the business of subversion for thirty years. And although the CIA was occasionally successful in repairing the damage and preempting the export of totalitarianism, it was having a hard time catching up with a more experienced and better equipped opponent, all the while being exposed to harsh criticism by the left-leaning media at home.

The use of mass media was grotesquely asymmetrical. Inside the Soviet Union, even mentioning the KGB in the press without government authorization was a taboo. But the KGB itself took full advantage of free speech in the western world, using the free media to incite anti-Americanism and to frame the CIA as a criminal organization.

Only when the KGB archives became briefly open to the press in the times of Glasnost did the Soviet people find out that as they struggled economically their government had been compulsively spending money on wars, civil unrest, and bribes to foreign leaders and opinion makers whose names they had never even heard of. I remember reading at the time in a Moscow paper that even Nelson Mandela, after leaving prison, moved into a new villa built by his wife Winnie with the money transferred to her via KGB channels. Surely that wasn't the only reason for Mandela's anti-Americanism, but what's wrong with a little token of gratitude at the expense of Soviet dwellers of communal apartments?

Decades of subversion and payoffs eventually corrupted the international scene to a point where third world governments were openly profiting from the duel of superpowers by milking both cows and extracting favors for switching sides. Among such political weathercocks were Gamal Abdel Nasser, Saddam Hussein, and Yasser Arafat, just to name a few.

And while the world media never stops blaming the U.S. for training Islamic extremists in Afghanistan, a much greater Soviet role in the rise of Islamic terrorism remains buried in the archives. If the reason for such unequal coverage is other than compliance with anti-American leftist clichés, I'd like to hear it. Until then I'll continue to believe that this information is omitted to keep alive the leftist "America's chickens are coming home to roost" formula, according to which this country is deservedly suffering the consequences of its own "imperialist ambitions."

The unsustainable generosity in sponsoring global anti-Americanism was one of the Soviet regime's many obsessive behaviors that hastened its own demise. If anti-American lies were anthrax, one might say the USSR had left behind enough stockpiles to exterminate all life on earth many times over. Strategically positioned in all corners of the world and left unattended, some of the accumulated deceptions deteriorated naturally over the years, some were moved in bulk for recycling to countries like Iran and Venezuela, and the rest were looted by ragtag bands of anti-American enthusiasts with varying degrees of professionalism.


 
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By Red Square
8/31/2009, 12:15 pm


3 - Keeping anti-Americanism alive

(A U.S. President, Raised on KGB Propaganda)

Anti-Americanism is a relatively recent phenomenon.

The elites may have always despised American passion for individual liberties, but most common people admired America for exactly that. Upon gaining independence, a number of nations - from Uruguay to Greece to Togo to Malaysia - modeled their flags after the U.S. flag. Preambles of most Latin American constitutions closely resemble that of the U.S. Constitution, and the Latin American hero Simon Bolivar himself was an admirer of the United States and a believer in libertarianism and free markets, regardless of how his name and legacy are now being twisted by Hugo Chavez.

The important fact about modern-day anti-Americanism is that it spreads almost exclusively among impressionable cultural elites who are most exposed to ideological clichés delivered through media and educational channels.

It would be absurd to presume that people of the world go to bed every night loving dictators and hating the United States. Obviously, the first conscious thing on the mind of a European, an African, or an Asian as they wake up in the morning is not how to survive another day of "America's economic and cultural imperialism." And since anti-Americanism is incompatible with common sense that guides our daily lives, people must be reminded of it every day to keep it alive. That is the burden that radical intellectuals have taken upon themselves, dispensing daily quotas of leftist clichés to the "unwashed masses" down below.

Thus, Oliver Stone is reportedly making a documentary about Hugo Chavez, whom he describes as an "energetic, principled champion of change in Latin America" and hopes, in Stone's words, to "capture the spirit of his drive to roll back U.S. influence." The ability to claim originality while working for decades from the same moth-eaten template makes Mr. Stone an Oscar-winning genius. Is there a chance that in the process of glorifying what he calls the region's "liberation from the United States," the legendary director might display authentic originality by interviewing, not a leftist, but a hero of anti-Marxist resistance? Can the devastation inflicted on Latin America by socialist policies persuade Mr. Stone to look beyond the worn-out clichés? We can only wish.

If the convention requires this "unconventional" genius to lionize America's enemies, it's what he does - not more and not less. Until recently, Stone was rumored to be considering a similar anti-American documentary with the Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, but the recent insurgency against this man in his own country may have convinced Stone to kill the plan as too obviously absurd.

In the heyday of the Cold War, both knowingly and unknowingly, such radical intellectuals served as a reliable conduit for anti-U.S. propaganda generated in the think tanks of Moscow. The technical details were described by a number of defectors from the Eastern Bloc intelligence agencies, the highest-ranking of whom was Ion Mihai Pacepa, acting chief of Romania's espionage service.

"The whole foreign policy of the Soviet-bloc states, indeed its whole economic and military might, revolved around the larger Soviet objective of destroying America from within through the use of lies," Pacepa writes. "The Soviets saw disinformation as a vital tool in the dialectical advance of world Communism. ... Many 'Ban-the-Bomb' and anti-nuclear movements were KGB-funded operations, too. I can no longer look at a petition for world peace or other supposedly noble cause, particularly of the anti-American variety, without thinking to myself, 'KGB.'

"As far as I'm concerned, the KGB gave birth to the antiwar movement in America," Pacepa continues. "KGB chairman Yuri Andropov managed our anti-Vietnam War operation. He often bragged about having damaged the U.S. foreign-policy consensus, poisoned domestic debate in the U.S., and built a credibility gap between America and European public opinion through our disinformation operations. Vietnam was, he once told me, 'our most significant success.'"

The fraudulent image of America as the "violent imperialist aggressor" was picked up by the Western media, disseminated through activist groups, and found its way into policy making, exemplified by John Kerry's 1971 "Genghis Khan" testimony before the Senate Committee on Foreign Relations, where Kerry almost verbatim repeated the KGB fabrications, later recognized by Pacepa as his own subversive product.

"KGB priority number one at that time was to damage American power, judgment, and credibility," Pacepa recalls. "One of its favorite tools was the fabrication of such evidence as photographs and 'news reports' about invented American war atrocities. These tales were purveyed in KGB-operated magazines that would then flack them to reputable news organizations. ... All in all, it was amazingly easy for Soviet-bloc spy organizations to fake many such reports and spread them around the free world."

Our sensory organs may perceive the same reality, but our knowledge of the world depends on how our minds interpret our perceptions and connect the dots. A successful propaganda campaign modifies that process by inserting, in a manner of speaking, a prefabricated optical lens that redirects incoming information and rearranges the existing dots. It may remain unnoticed for a while because the distortion affects limited designated areas - in this case, political ideology. One still is the same person, except that when he thinks of political, economic, or social issues, lies suddenly become perceived as the truth, right as wrong, good as evil, enemies as friends, and so on.

Ultimately, the most successful, moral, and just country in the history of humanity becomes perceived as a violent monster feeding on the bodies of innocent victims.

Caught off guard by such a procedure and lacking intellectual tools to detect it, any decent red-blooded man will naturally be enraged by America's "injustice," wish for its defeat, and sometimes even join its enemies. Assuming that in 1971 John Kerry was a decent man and his testimony to the Senate Committee was delivered in good faith, he must have had that lens implanted in his brain for a long time. The Vietnam War was won by Moscow, not on the battlefield, but in the information warfare. And that was only the beginning.

This is how Pacepa remembers it:

During my last meeting with Andropov, he said, wisely, "now all we have to do is to keep the Vietnam-era anti-Americanism alive." Andropov was a shrewd judge of human nature. He understood that in the end our original involvement would be forgotten, and our insinuations would take on a life of their own. He knew well that it was just the way human nature worked.

Andropov's strategy must still be working if even today Barack Obama believes in these insinuations strongly enough to apologize before the world for the perceived history of "American arrogance."

During his recent visit to Moscow, President Obama stated:

America supports ... the restoration of the democratically-elected president of Honduras, even though he has strongly opposed American policies.

But didn't Obama himself oppose American policies just as strongly and from the same ideological perspectives? His own history suggests that saying "because he has strongly opposed American policies" would have been a more honest use of conjunctions.

From his communist mentor Frank Marshall Davis to the unrepentant domestic terrorist Bill Ayers, Barack Obama has always gravitated towards people holding radical leftist views akin to those of Zelaya. He eagerly promoted leftist ideology as an ACORN activist and later at the University of Chicago Law School when he taught and developed theories that opposed the American system of individual liberties in favor of unsustainable group entitlements at the expense of producers - theories that advocated placing the people under the controlling "care" of the state.

And since such views are part of the ideological template that vilifies America and lionizes its enemies, Obama's instinctive reaction was to back Zelaya and throw a lifeline to Ahmadinejad.

Like John Kerry at the Senate hearings, President Obama may be acting in good faith, but his processing of reality is just as impaired by the same "metaphorical deformation." As a result, the leader of the free world strays across the frontlines and joins the Marxist leaders Hugo Chavez, Raul Castro, Evo Morales, and Daniel Ortega, at least two of whom - Castro and Ortega - were committed Soviet clients.

The Soviet Union may have self-destructed in 1991, but the seeds of intellectual deception it had planted gave such a bountiful crop that seventeen years later America has elected a leader who is guided by received notions designed to subdue and destroy this country. Apparently, the rumors about America's victory in the Cold War appear to have been greatly exaggerated.




 
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By Red Square
8/31/2009, 12:15 pm


4 - Whose sovereignty is Obama respecting?

In his speech to graduate students in Moscow, Obama opined:

State sovereignty must be a cornerstone of international order. ... States must have the right to borders that are secure, to their own foreign policies.

This sounds very statesmanlike, except that without defining the true meaning of sovereignty it becomes an empty word and a pawn in the games of political demagogues - especially when no distinction is made between a democratic state and a tyranny.

In theory, Obama's position amounts to moral equivalency between a democracy and an autocratic rogue state. In practice, it gives the roguish Iranian regime added legitimacy and protection, while leaving the democratic Honduras exposed to threats from Ortega and Chavez, aggravated by diplomatic pressure from the United States, the United Nations, the European Union, and the 35-member Organization of American States.

The idea of unconditional sovereignty is, in fact, a clever ploy used time and again during the Cold War to advance leftist dictatorships and undermine free democracies. The trick is simple - it takes advantage of the decency of those who honestly abide by international law, preventing them from interfering in the affairs of tyrants who abide by nothing except the expansion of their ill-gained power.

While free democracies invest mostly in the creation of goods and services, tyrants invest their nation's capital in the creation and dissemination of propaganda. It pays off handsomely in the form of moral support from the brainwashed "global community" when a tyrannical regime takes over another country allegedly "to advance progress in the interests of all people."

On the eve of every major state holiday, the Central Committee of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union (CPSU) used to publish a list of up to a hundred official talking points that covered all aspects of its domestic and foreign agendas. Printed in the form of slogans on the front pages of Pravda and local newspapers, they were meant to be enthusiastically announced on the radio, amplified during the state-sponsored "spontaneous" demonstrations, written on propagandistic posters, and memorized by schoolchildren and college students.

Endlessly rewritten and reshuffled to reflect the "current truth" about the ever changing party line, these talking points were always consistent with one and the same Orwellian template. The socialist USSR and its allies were the forces for peace and progress, while any resistance to their military operations, especially coming from the capitalist U.S.A. and its allies, represented "imperialism, reaction and war."

Below are a few excerpts of such slogans prepared for the 60th anniversary of the "Great October Socialist Revolution." They concern international relations and are addressed to the "people of the world." Compare them to the essence of Obama's statements:

Peoples of the world! Strengthen the efforts in the struggle for the complete liquidation of the results of Israeli aggression, for the establishment of just peace for all the governments and peoples of the Middle East, against imperialist interference in the internal affairs of Arab nations!

Peoples of the world! Struggle for the deepening of the lessening of international tension, for its expansion to all continents! Expose the efforts of the forces of aggression, revanchism, and reaction - enemies of peace and the peoples' defense!

Peoples of the world! Strive so that the unacceptability of the use of force becomes the law in international relations and nuclear weapons are forever banned! Strengthen the struggle to end the arms race and to achieve universal and complete disarmament!

Long live the Leninist foreign policy of the Soviet Union - the policy of peace and friendship of peoples, the unity of all forces struggling against imperialism, reaction and war!

Anyone familiar with the Soviet propaganda methods knew that the same "peoples of the world" would be in big trouble should their governments take these Byzantine formulations at face value. But President Obama seems to believe the template enough to reiterate its points in Moscow - of all places!

It's foolish to expect a fair game from forces whose moral code is limited to "the end justifies the means." That is why the implication that "all sovereignties are equal" is a loss for law-abiding democracies and a win for leftist expansionists, whose only measure of legitimacy is the advancement of their perverted idea of the "common good." Successfully applied by the Soviet communists to bamboozle Western diplomats, it has now become a preferred con of every dictator in the business of advancing socialism, communism, fascism, Islamism, or any other cockamamie heresy of the archetypal collectivist tyranny.

And while Obama's speech was also meant to cover the sovereignties of Ukraine and Georgia, it does nothing to protect these countries from Russia's meddling, but gives the Russian leaders a chance to call Obama on his own word if in the future he raises an issue with their policies.

Abiding by his own declarations, Obama would never have gone into Iraq or Afghanistan, thus allowing both Saddam and the Taliban to violate the sovereignty of their own citizens and other countries, invading neighbors and training gangs of international terrorists. Today this approach practically gives assurances to the dictators of Iran, North Korea, Venezuela, and other rogue regimes that the United States will "respect their sovereignty" regardless of their propensity to support terrorism, develop nuclear weapons, and threaten to invade neighboring democracies.

But whose sovereignty is he really respecting? When a free democratic society protects the individual sovereignty of each member, the sovereignties of all citizens add up to the entire nation's collective sovereignty. But in a dictatorship where individual sovereignty is non-existent, where no one is safe from the government's arbitrary powers, collective sovereignty adds up to exactly nothing. The only sovereignty Obama's approach protects is that of the tyrant, who is the single sovereign individual in the entire nation.

The 2003 U.S.-led invasion didn't violate the sovereignty of the Iraqi citizens because it is impossible to violate that which doesn't exist. It only violated the sovereignty of Saddam Hussein and his two sons, Uday and Qusay - and deservedly so. Even Saddam's closest henchmen had no personal sovereignty and lived in constant fear of his whims, just like Stalin's henchmen before them.

Likewise, it would be impossible for America to "steal the Iraqi oil" because it had been long ago stolen by Saddam, who treated it as his personal asset and used the proceeds to build palaces, finance terrorism, develop weapons, bribe foreign leaders, corrupt the UN, and do other things that had nothing to do with the interests of the Iraqis.

But with America's help, the Iraqi people have now regained both their oil and their sovereignty. And this time, their national sovereignty is absolutely legitimate because it is comprised of the sovereignties of millions of free individuals, who elect their government and are protected by law from its arbitrary dictate. And while their democracy is far from perfect, the Iraqis already are a world apart from the lawlessness of Saddam's national-socialist regime.

In contrast, the ousting of President Manuel Zelaya, whose goal was to impose a dictatorship on Honduras, was done precisely to protect the individual sovereignties of all Hondurans. An attempt to return him to power as once advocated by Mr. Obama would, in fact, violate the sovereignty of every Honduran, who would lose personal liberties as a result of Zelaya's leftist policies.

In the end, national sovereignty cannot be unconditional. Its condition is simple: the presence of an elected government that acts in the interests of its people, maintains the rule of law, and respects individual sovereignty of every one of its citizens.

This approach eliminates the false premise of moral equivalency and makes painfully clear that the right course of action with regards to Iran and the right course of action with regards to Honduras should be the exact opposites of what President Obama has chosen.


 
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By Red Square
8/31/2009, 12:16 pm


5 - We are the children: singing in unison to save a dictator

If the American society is constantly torn apart by ideological confrontations, why is it so hard for some Americans to imagine that people in other countries can be just as divided?

Any society, even the freest democracy, has likely autocrats willing to take advantage of others, latent victims willing to give up freedom in exchange for entitlements, and budding free people willing to resist tyranny and defend their liberties. The ratio of these groups in each country may be different, but no nation is ever unanimous - despite all assurances to the contrary by dictators who claim to speak for all people.

Statist regimes need unanimity to justify their existence. If a government's survival depends on unanimity, it will inevitably end up repressing free speech. That alone makes statism an unacceptable form of government. Any government's claim to speak for all people automatically makes it a suspect, just as unanimous voting is a symptom of tyranny.

The unanimity of the Soviet people was a myth. Measuring internal opposition in the absence of freedom may be impossible, but the trickle of dissidents and defectors should have been a good clue. Yet the Western media routinely repeated the regime's official lie that all Soviet people were united behind the Communist Party and its policies.

As false data leads to false conclusions, benevolent Western intellectuals often shrugged off the Soviet tyranny as "the choice of the people," explaining it away with outlandish nonsense like "the mysterious Russian character" or "the collectivist nature of the Slavic soul," which was a patent absurdity, especially considering that not all people in the Eastern Bloc were Russians or even Slavs. The same thinking prompted less benign people to demonize all Russians, imagining them as lazy and bloodthirsty brutes. Ironically, the latter opinion I mostly heard from elitist champions of the collectivist utopia, who despised the USSR for giving communism a bad name by having turned such a beautiful idea into a monstrosity due to some alleged ethnic deficiency.

Apparently they believe it could have worked with a "better" ethnic group!

As a rule, these intellectuals religiously challenged every bit of their own capitalist system, but the one thing they didn't challenge was the myth that the Soviet government spoke for its people, acted in their interests, and had their unanimous support. "I hope the Russians love their children too," crooned Sting, as if there was any connection between what the Russians loved and what the Soviet government did. Further showing a lack of any sense, Sting claimed in the same song that he didn't believe Reagan, that "there is no monopoly in common sense," that "we share the same biology regardless of ideology," and "there's no such thing as a winnable war." In other words, all things being relative and all people being mindless biological units anyway, the free world might as well give in to the tyrants ruling over a gigantic gulag, whose voiceless inmates, Sting hoped, loved their children.

This wouldn't be so pathetic if many Western politicians didn't follow similar logic and form similar opinions - exactly what the myth of the Soviet "unanimity" was meant to accomplish.

No one doubts today that there had been no unity in Saddam Hussein's Iraq. But on the eve of the U.S.-led invasion, activist Western media and radical intellectuals eagerly parroted Hussein's claim of a 100 percent Iraqi vote in his support. Not that anyone believed such an improbable number; the argument rather was that the Iraqis would surely forget their quarrels and unite behind their leader to defend their national dignity from "illegal occupation." Yet the Iraqis didn't put up a serious fight. Apparently, they had little to defend since their dignity and much of everything else had already been stripped away from them by Saddam. But at the time the myth of Iraqi unity made a sizable dent in public support of U.S. policies.

Today, a new, democratic Iraq has become a force for good in the Middle East, having changed the region's ideological balance in favor of democracy and freedom. And yet not a single vocal opponent of the Bush doctrine, including Barack Obama himself, has retracted his prior statements intended to prevent such an outcome.

I happened to be in Denver during the 2008 Democratic Convention. And even though I didn't attend Obama's famous speech at the stadium with Greek columns, I spent some time at the local Civic Center Park observing extravagant political rallies and protest marches, most of them with a marked anti-war bent. The most conspicuous production there was a mosque-like pavilion made of translucent silk sheets with photographs of happy Iranian people going about their daily lives.

In the words of its author, young American photographer Tom Loughlin, the exhibit was intended to "transcend the issue of Iranian-American relations" by reminding viewers of the "significant effect that American misperceptions might have on Iranians and on Persian culture," and to give them "the sense that something beautiful is in jeopardy."

The author stood nearby with a camcorder and recorded the viewers' reactions. I offered mine, saying on camera that, objectively, his artistic talent and the money paid to finance it were being used to prop up the Iranian regime with a propagandistic bait-and-switch trick straight from the Soviet playbook. The handsome, eye-catching Persian faces that supposedly represented Iran were the bait. But the faces of those who would gain most from the positive PR message were not on the pictures. That's because the true beneficiaries of this show were the ugly, America-hating mullahs who oppressed their own people, sponsored terrorism, destabilized the world, advocated the destruction of Israel, and were building a nuclear bomb. And therein was the switch.

No one doubted that Iranians could be handsome and "love their children too." The problem was that the people in the pictures didn't speak for their tyrannical regime and the regime didn't speak for them, nor did it represent their interests. They themselves were hostages to insane policies of their unelected leaders. Many Iranians would surely prefer to be liberated and live in the modern world rather than be sacrificed as human shields by the mullahs pursuing a medieval theology. It was nothing short of depravity to showcase sanitized images of the victims in order to sustain a regime that brutalized them.

I don't begrudge the photographer for not including my comment in the released video. But I was proven right when ten months later the same Iranians - looking much like the models in the exhibit - poured into the streets of Tehran and other cities in massive anti-government rallies, often risking their lives, to protest against the ugly mullahcracy.

That surely shattered any illusion of peaceful unanimity put on by the regime's propaganda. Perhaps Mr. Loughlin may do some good by moving his Iranian pavilion to the White House lawn to give Barack Obama "the sense that something beautiful is in jeopardy," because the U.S. president seems to have chosen to remain uninformed.

Reportedly the Iranian dissidents expected to receive support, or at least encouragement from the American president. But the "warmonger" Bush is no longer in office, and the "peace-loving" Obama isn't interested in rocking the boat, flexing American muscles, or doing anything else that might upset the established leftist narrative and pigeonhole him together with Bush, Reagan, and other "imperialist villains" of yore. Stuck in the parochial past and learning about the outside life from myths, Obama prefers his Iranians sanitized and united behind their own America-hating government, as the old leftist legend says they should.

In contrast, the democratic government of Honduras isn't attempting to put on a show of unity. The Honduran society is openly divided, with a small minority of leftist protesters clamoring for the return of the would-be dictator. Yet the "unanimity" trick is still being played against the Hondurans - not from within, but from outside its borders - as leftist leaders and sympathetic media are trying to present the handful of local Marxists as ones who speak for all people. A pretense that, to them at least, provides a moral justification for their demands to restore Zelaya.

But Honduras has a history of standing its own ground and defending its sovereignty. Researching this story, I interviewed J. Michael Waller, professor of International Communication at the Institute of World Politics in Washington, D.C.:

"The Left has always had a grudge against this conservative and anti-communist nation," explains Waller. "Leftists never had a chance in Honduras, because the locals would invariably kill any Cuban- or Soviet-trained radicals who would try to set up a revolutionary movement. The United States or CIA had nothing to do with repressing the Left there; the Hondurans proved perfectly capable of doing it on their own."

And yet, according to the Guardian, Obama's support of Zelaya is motivated by his perceived guilt for "the United States' long history of supporting coups against Latin American leftists." At the same time, renowned U.S. constitutional lawyer Miguel Estrada, who is a native of Honduras, has no such qualms. Having real - not mythological - knowledge of Honduran people, history, and law, Estrada is convinced that the Honduran military and Supreme Court acted within their rights. The only problem, he says, is that instead of deporting the pajama-clad Zelaya to Costa Rica, "they should have just put him in jail."


 
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By Red Square
8/31/2009, 12:17 pm


6 - "The CIA did it": conspiracy theories in the service of the "common good"

Perhaps the most stomach-turning recurrence of Yuri Andropov's anti-American narrative is Osama bin Laden's 2007 taped speech, in which the leader of al-Qaeda recycled Vietnam-era leftist legends, applying them to Iraq:

In the Vietnam War, the leaders of the White House claimed at the time that it was a necessary and crucial war, and during it, Rumsfeld and his aides murdered two million villagers. And when Kennedy took over the presidency and deviated from the general line of policy drawn up for the White House and wanted to stop this unjust war, that angered the owners of the major corporations who were benefiting from its continuation. And so Kennedy was killed, and al-Qaeda wasn't present at that time, but rather, those corporations were the primary beneficiary from his killing.

Compare this to a statement by Hugo Chavez, Venezuela's leftist president, with regards to Honduras: "If the oligarchies break the rules of the game as they have done, the people have the right to resistance and combat, and we are with them." True to the established template, Chavez rejects the possibility of common people resisting a leftist takeover, so the culprit must be some mysterious unidentified "oligarchies." Painting by numbers, he predictably ends up with a picture of a CIA conspiracy.

Only this time, given President Obama's ideological affinity with the ousted would-be dictator, Chavez's caricature of defenders of liberty as CIA puppets isn't working.

An expert in the region, J. Michael Waller, explains that the CIA indeed has been involved in Latin American politics with varying degrees of success:

One of its state-of-the-art operations occurred in the early 1950s when President Eisenhower authorized the CIA to overthrow the elected government of Jacobo Arbenz in Guatemala, who was subverting Guatemala's fragile democratic institutions to set up a leftist regime. The U.S. correctly joined many Guatemalans in fearing that Arbenz would bring his country into the Soviet camp. This was early in the Cold War, and it pre-dated Fidel Castro's revolution.

But that successful operation also happened to be the last of its kind:

Had President Kennedy not gotten cold feet and aborted the CIA-run attempt to overthrow Castro in 1961, abandoning Cuban resistance fighters at the Bay of Pigs, Fidel Castro never would have consolidated his power and subverted the hemisphere and other parts of the world, and we never would have had a Cuban Missile Crisis.

Most of the other CIA political operations in Latin America were aimed at defeating the pro-Soviet left; interestingly, the CIA covertly funded the center-left, including socialists, to keep them from falling into the Soviet camp. The CIA almost never covertly supported right-wing forces; those forces were perfectly capable of operating on their own, and many were clumsy and even unnecessarily brutal in crushing the extreme left.

When the Marxists took power in Nicaragua in 1979, with the help of Jimmy Carter, it was the poor rural peasants who led the counter-revolutionary revolt. Campesinos from the countryside took up arms to fight the socialist revolution, because the Sandinistas began taking away their land, forcing them to work on collective farms, and conscripted them into a gigantic revolutionary army with Soviet weapons and Soviet-bloc trainers. The peasant resistance was supported by elements of the old Somoza regime who were the only ones at the time with military leadership experience, but the rank-and-file combatants were overwhelmingly poor peasants. Many of the fighters were former Sandinistas who had grown disillusioned with the socialist ideal.

Waller does not hide his sympathies:

I know this firsthand because I was with the Nicaraguan "contra" fighters at the time, between 1983 and 1989. They got started on their own and, without any foreign assistance, formed Latin America's largest peasant guerrilla army since the Mexican Revolution. The "contras" had a functioning army two or three years before receiving American military support, authorized by Congress and administered through the CIA. They succeeded in preventing the Marxists from establishing a socialist dictatorship.

Today the CIA operates more tightly than ever under strict laws and bureaucratic guidelines, and the oversight committees in Congress are informed of every significant covert operation. Every such operation requires a presidential "finding." The CIA cannot operate on its own. So if the CIA was involved in ousting former Honduran President Zelaya, as Hugo Chavez is claiming, then it was with the personal authorization of President Barack Obama and with the knowledge of the Democrat leadership in both houses of Congress.

The lunatic left like Hugo Chavez need the CIA boogeyman to justify their own extremism. We don't hear such anti-CIA accusations coming from the more mature, "responsible" left as in the leaders of countries like Chile and Brazil. Not even the newly elected president of El Salvador, Mauricio Funes of the Marxist FMLN party, is accusing the CIA of being involved in the Honduran events.

So if the CIA was behind the ouster of Hugo Chavez's Honduran ally, it would be because Barack Obama personally authorized it. The idea is an absurdity on its face.

Sticking with the tradition, Chavez's friend Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is also blaming Iran's turmoil on the CIA. Factual or not, the propagandistic value of this charge is obvious. The CIA conspiracy card never failed to mesmerize the left-leaning Western intellectuals, especially those involved in producing the most powerful propaganda vehicles of all: Hollywood movies.

The latter are an especially easy target. Hollywood stars such as Redford, Stone, Clooney, Penn, Soderbergh, and many others may style themselves as unconventional rebels, but their political creativity is limited strictly to the reshuffling of worn-out propagandistic conventions. No matter how entertaining the patterns in their political kaleidoscope may appear, looking at the world though a mirror tube filled with one and the same set of colored pieces hasn't yet helped anyone to understand the reality of existence. If you disagree, try and talk politics to a "truther."

Those who believe that America, not the Soviet Union, was the engine behind the Cold War conflicts are not equipped to understand the current change in world dynamics.

Indeed, if the USSR was not the driving force, then its disappearance shouldn't bring any change. And yet change is significant - but since it doesn't fit their template, it is being axiomatically dismissed as the result of American interference.

If in the past they believed that the Soviet menace was fiction, today this logic leads them to believe that Islamic extremism, Iran, and the 9/11 attacks are merely a new fiction designed to replace the old fiction - all, of course, invented by the CIA and the military-industrial complex in order to justify their existence and perpetuate U.S. imperialism - which is the only absolute, transcendental force in the universe.

The Iranian expatriate author Amir Taheri wrote a spectacular analysis of Syriana - a geopolitical blockbuster starring George Clooney, who also produced it. Made in 2005, the film describes an imagined CIA assassination of an enlightened Arab prince, who was also a progressive reformer. He was killed only because his oil contract with China had displeased Texas oil interests that control the U.S. government.

Leaving out the obvious economic absurdity of the premise, Taheri focuses on the arrogance of the self-loathing American filmmakers who "reduce the Arabs to the level of mere objects in their history."

The elitist Hollywood clichés, Taheri writes, even deny the Arabs "credit for their own terrorist acts as Syriana shows that it is not they but the CIA that decides who kills whom and where. This view denies Arabs not only intellect and free will, it even denies them their history. Pretending to be sympathetic to the 'Arab victims of American Imperialism,' the film is, in fact, an example of ethnocentrism gone wild. Its message is: the Arabs are nothing, not even self-motivated terrorists, but mere puppets manipulated by us in the omnipotent U.S."

J. Michael Waller echoes this verdict in his analysis of the leftist perception of Latin America:

American liberals take such a patronizing, paternalistic attitude toward Latin American countries that they can't fathom the fact that most poor Latinos are anti-socialist and anti-communist. The campesinos just want to keep what little land they have, and keep the fruits of their labor. They don't want handouts. Nobody works harder than a Central American peasant. It is part of their character, and no foreign do-gooder or socialist is going to take that away from them.

It borders on racism for liberals to think that Latin American political leaders are incapable of defending their own countries against socialist subversion of constitutional government and rule of law, and that the Honduran Supreme Court and Congress - including former President Zelaya's own political party - needed CIA support to oust a president who was violating the constitution.

This is the new reality of the post-Cold War world: without the threat of a Soviet-led intervention, free nations no longer require help from the CIA to resist leftist sedition. But reality is beside the point to dogmatic practitioners of the Cold War faith system, whose myths and legends have always supplied them with easy answers quickly identifiable culprits, and required the trashing of the CIA in order to improve their karmas and score points with fellow practitioners.

It doesn't even matter that in the modern day, in the words of Taheri, the CIA has become "little more than a costly leaking device used by rival groups within the U.S. establishment to lump accusations and counter-accusations at one another." What matters is the role assigned to the CIA by the old leftist template; no actions by the agency today can change that. For as long as the template exists, the CIA will be automatically perceived as the enemy of "progress" and suffer regular, mandatory beatings by the left - from foreign dictators to Hollywood filmmakers to mainstream media to Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, and the left-leaning members of the U.S. Congress.

One can only imagine the cognitive dissonance in the heads of believers in leftist myths who have campaigned their way into the U.S. government and are now discovering the real world at CIA briefings.

To sum up this series, President Obama's foreign policies reveal a clichéd vision of the world, consistent with anti-American stereotypes disseminated by the Soviet propaganda during the Cold War, which he may have absorbed in his formative years.

A radical departure from American values, this vision compels him to correct what he perceives as America's "wrongs" by regressing to Cold War-era mythology and re-imagining the world as it might have been without America.

All the while, he stays in denial of the real changing world that longs to be rebuilt as it might have been without the Soviet Union.

Obama's approach objectively makes the world a more dangerous place, but it also unintentionally discredits the very leftist assumptions on which it is based - above all, the insinuation that any revolt against collectivist, statist oppression is the result of a U.S.-led conspiracy.

Without this and other Cold War-era dogmas misleading the world, it should now be obvious that the desire to live as free individuals in a democratic society is universal and that people of the world are eager to pursue it, with or without American help.


 
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By Superkommissar Maksim
8/31/2009, 6:38 pm


Red, I’ve only read part one (and then got caught up in the comments on your PJ media posting), I will read the rest when time permits. However I just wanted to say, your unique insight has yet again proved itself invaluable. Well done comrade!
 
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By Zampolit Blokhayev
8/31/2009, 11:31 pm


I read over a couple of paragraphs in each section. Like Comrade Maksim when I can find some time I will read it from beginning to end. Just like I did the Communist Manifesto. Oh wait! That was all of the Obamessiah's 2008 campaign promises. Sorry. It's hard to tell the difference sometimes.
 
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By Red Rooster
9/1/2009, 1:35 am


The boring Gettysburg Address was 4 hours long, a common time frame for speeches full of hot air in those days.  Now a glorious Hollywood movie is 90 minutes and I moan at the time spent watching a story if it's full of borgiouse (so what if I can't spell, like u dont need to spell any more! Duh!) special effects and formula happy endings!

I cannot waste my time reading all this dribble, I have more important things to do, like texting!




Read it ALL Comrade, Excellent Work!
 
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By Czar Tickleus
9/1/2009, 10:29 am


This was forwarded to me by a capitalist propaganda mole who works in an elitist hospital and thinks I'm on her side.

"Let me get this straight. We're going to pass a health care plan written by a committee whose head says he doesn't understand it, passed by a Congress that hasn't read it but exempts themselves from it, signed by a president that also hasn't read it and who smokes, with funding administered by a treasury chief who didn't pay his taxes, overseen by a surgeon general who is obese, and financed by a country that's nearly broke.  What could possibly go wrong?"
 
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By Room 101
9/1/2009, 10:37 am


(If some of you comrades think this is long, take a look at "Inside the Laurel Canyon.")

Bravo! This is really excellent, (PATRIOT) Red Square.  Thank you for sharing your time, insight, and experience. A copy will be included in the survival kit I am preparing for near-future times.  A great read.
 
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By comrad rudedawgsky
9/1/2009, 2:14 pm


exellent history briefing comrad!  it took a while to read it but i was impressed! we should send it to the obamessiah but i doubt he would care. the peasants here it texas are already organizing to stand and return our country to it rightful direction in 2010 & 2012. we will stimy the messiah's socialist agenda and return him to the gulag for re-education.
 
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By Representative Pelosinski
9/1/2009, 2:22 pm


Thank You Red Square.

I found this posting to be quite enlightening.  It gives me a background on the cold war and leftist propaganda that I had not previously had.

As a result I have forwarded this link to many of my comrades at the risk of awaking the sleeping Axelrod.

I enjoy this site for not only the phenomenal satire but for the serious detailed commentary such as this, excellent work.  Thank you again.
 
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By Leninka
9/1/2009, 5:37 pm


Comrade Red Square,

As a true and dedicated progressive, I am agahst and disturbed.  You have revealed way to much information.  Who knows what the evil Kapitalist spies who view this site might take away from it?  

For years, I have been indoctrinated by those comrades who started hating Amerika many years ago (the flower children).  First, I was taught that the Chinese were better off than we, because although they were poor, each person in China received a bowl of rice a day.  This, I learned in Time magazine.

Then, as time went on, I learned to hate all things Amerikan:  white bread, white potatoes, red meat, white beans, iceberg lettuce, vegetables grown with pesticides, high heels, bras, underpants, polyester, cars, fast food, hamburgers, hot dogs, Crest toothpaste.  

I was also taught to loathe and look upon with contempt, any man who went to work every day to support his family with an evil corporate job (the horror).  

And those comrades, like Fidel and Che who had a particular hatred for Amerika, and who made sure to teach children how evil Amerikans are, I was taught to love.  Yes, we progressives love most of all, those leaders who hate Amerika most of all.  

Oh, and here is some glorious news about Comrade Teddy and the KGB.  Comrade Teddy, in his valiant efforts to wrestle power from the evilKapitalist Reagan, tried to enlist the noble and glorious KGB.  Click Here  If they had succeeded, the evil Reagan might not have won in 1984.
 
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By Comrade Whoopie
9/1/2009, 6:46 pm


As usual comrade Red Square's screed has captured the insanity of conservative capitalist thinking. Bravo! Three cheers for our leading fiction novelist.

However, while we might find it amusing, I doubt if any conservative reader would be intelligent enough to see the sarcasm and learn from it.

I also worry that some capitalist regressives might actually believe this drivel and rally around this work of fiction. Writers should be careful that their work isn't co-opted by reactionary forces.
 
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By Commissarka Pinkie
9/1/2009, 9:08 pm


Well, unlike some of you who seem to waiting for the movie version or mini-series, or even the deluxe widescreen director's cut DVD with deleted scenes, bloopers and the alternate ending where Red Square wakes up to find Yuri Andropov in the shower and realizes he's still in the Soviet Union and never left the Soviet Union because it's still the Soviet Union, I read the whole thing.  All parts!  Every day I clicked over to PJM, hoping to see Red's next installment.  Imagine my dejection on those days when it didn't appear!  Imagine my delight when it did!  I am his Number One fan, and as such, he can crash his car in a ditch outside my house and cram his pages down my throat in a homicidal rage anytime.

Red Square, you are a Prophet, for I see many things of which you have written already coming to pass in this country.  What else can your most loyal suck-up do but present you with this:


 
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By DDR Kamerad
9/1/2009, 10:48 pm


I do appreciate your insights as a former member of the glorious Party!

Seriously...I think we Cold War survivors really need to stick it to Generation Duh about the realities of centralization and collectivism.

Up Hayek and Friedman!  Down Marx and Keynes!

(back in karakter)

Comrade Red Rooster...you forget that in the People's Alphabettm, all letters are equal!  In PeopleSpeaktm, all words are equal!  There are no incorrect spellings.

All that hoopla over literacy and proper grammar are merely imperialist capitalist tools to enslave the minds of would-be progressives and set them running on rails.

This is all the proper grammar you ever need!

Marx is God, and Obama is his prophet.

and

All your money should be wired over to DDR Kamerad.  Only he knows how to properly dispose of that poisonous green paper and tainted silver coinage!
 
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By Superkommissar Maksim
9/1/2009, 11:37 pm


Commissarka Pinkie wrote
Well, unlike some of you who seem to waiting for the movie version or mini-series, or even the deluxe widescreen director's cut DVD

I'm waiting for the audio release.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote
with deleted scenes, bloopers and the alternate ending where Red Square wakes up to find Yuri Andropov in the shower and realizes he's still in the Soviet Union and never left the Soviet Union because it's still the Soviet Union,

LMAO!
Commissarka Pinkie wrote
I am his Number One fan,

ROFLMAO!
 
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By General Mousey-Tongue
9/2/2009, 12:29 am


RATS!  Commissarka 'beet' me to it!  I was going to heap praises now upon our Glorious Leader, but I will not lower myself to playing third fiddle in the back row.  I am a proud feline, with great zeal for the party, but I will save my kowtowing for when it pays better.

That being said, I read the first thee installments - despite my species-inherited tendency for a short attention span.  Red Square, you need to write a book!
 
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By Great Stalin's Ghost
9/2/2009, 6:06 pm


OUT OF KKKARAKKKTER.

Red,
So those of us who once believed all of the Leftist "analysis" of history and current events, were truly living in a Philip K. Dick novel. It's still difficult, especially reading parts 3 and 4, to realize that the Leftist "narrative" is an alternate reality that upon actual examination, contains no reality. After years of Hollywood movies, I still have to force myself to not automatically think of the CIA (or the ever popular rogue CIA agent) as the bad guys in any situation.

I, and I'm sure everyone else who reads this site, know people (family and friends) who will fight to the death before they will give up their cherished KGB inspired world view. They refuse my offers to read Friedman, Hayak, Sowell, and other thinkers who could help free them of their delusions.

On the other hand, living in a delusional state may be comfortable for some, because it's a state that always contains at least one scapegoat.
 
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By AbecedariusRex
9/2/2009, 7:21 pm


This may not be the place as it involves comrade Kennedy (now gone on to the bosom of Lenin) but a friend of mine just sent me the link to this article in the Investors Daily.  Amazing.  I knew comrade Kennedy was working for the good of next Tuesday, but I had no idea he was so far along.

Kennedy, The KGB And The Media

Posted 08/31/2009 07:28 PM ET

Media Malpractice: Among the many encomiums that the mainstream media showered on the late senator from Massachusetts, something was curiously missing: the link between Sen. Ted Kennedy and the KGB.

All I can say is "Good Jorb, comrade!  Good Jorb!"


 
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By Emperor Kakubakuhatsu
9/2/2009, 9:08 pm


konbanwa,

hai, redsquaresan,

that posting was as long as a healthcare reform bill, so in keeping with the current administrations policy on reading bills,  ...i did not.  but if put to a vote i will support your decisions and shout/cut down any racist dissenters with either mighty vocal "ki'a" or sharp end of katana.  especially racists not of the great socialist nation of nihon, namely all whites, blacks and hispanics.

oyasuminasai,
emperor kakubakuhatsu
 
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By Colonel 7.62
9/2/2009, 11:44 pm


Bah, I am more awestruck than Pinkie.  I am so awestruck I shit my daily beet undigested.  I would present Comrade Red Square with a "Not For The People" version of the People's Rifle, but sadly in New York, it really is "Not For The People".  Maybe time to make up a Revolutionary of The Month or something....
 
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By Rikalonius
9/3/2009, 11:54 am


Years ago I was given a heads up to a post on forum.  I do not remember what.  It was cliche riddled post by an ignorant purveyor who though he was gifted in rhetoric simply because he knew how to use a thesaurus.  It resembled something that could have been generated by one of Red's propaganda generators.  I had never posted on that forum, but I decided to, because I was so angry at the drivel I was reading that I had to respond.  While it is no where as good as Red, whose narrative is smooth and unbroken, it is similar in content when talking about the presuppositions of anti-war position.  I found the reply in my documents folder, and I thought I would share it.

Silly Leftist wrote
archetypal "Roman-esque" scenario involving the "barbarian
horde" vs. the "peace loving empire" that we've all read about in our
middle school history books.

Rikalonius wrote
Many people celebrate Halloween at the end of October.  Not me.  I
celebrate, what I hope will one day become a national holiday, October
25th, Charles "The Hammer" Martel Day.  During the week of October 25th
732 AD, a century after Islam began its unprovoked crusade across North
Africa and the Middle East, their onslaught of France was stopped cold
by a brave Frank.  Now we could argue "extraneous details" all day long
about whether it was solely the Battle of Poitiers/Tours that stopped
the onslaught, or whether other battles and other heroes help stem the
tide, but it's of little importance.  The western expansion by Muslim
crusaders essentially ceased.
To act as though there is no entity in history has ever acted
aggressively toward another entity without provocation is ignorance.  
Your world view seems to be that only the Western World can be the
aggressor.  The Western World and the Muslim World have been at war
with one another since Mohammed's successors started their crusade of
North Africa.  The Muslims were every bit the Empire that the Romans
were, and for a short period of time contributed greatly to science and
math.  Somehow, however, they always seem to get bogged down in tribal
differences.  But I digress, my point being that at some points in
history there were "Barbarians."  It isn't always fantasy concocted by
one side to drum up "nationalistic support."

Silly Leftist wrote
No. You just don't grasp the point. There's a difference. My
post was very descriptive and very clear: "Which brings me back to my
cause and effect illustration about Iraq's living conditions and my
only applicative aim (important point): When you engineer and
proliferate destabilization and conflict... ...someone's gonna get
pissed off. This is the precondition for terrorism." How much nearer to
a point can someone get??

Rikalonius wrote
Let’s see, was King Amanullah Khan proliferating destabilization and
conflict in 1921 when he fought for Afghani independence from Briton;
then established a constitution that contained provisions for womens
rights, and individual liberties?  When he built co-ed schools and
began trade with European and Asian Nations?  When he forbid child
marriages, and attempted to end slavery among women?  I'm sure to
someone like you that's what he was doing.  Did all his good works stop
hard line religious fanatics from initiating the Khost Rebellion 1924,
and later forcing him to into exile in 1929?  No.

The next two Afghan rulers, Mohammad Nader and Mohammad Zair turn
Afghanistan back into an Orthodox Muslim nation.  They are the ones
that invite in the Demon.  They establish large bi-lateral trade
agreements, and allowed the Soviet Union to come in and build their
infrastructure.  By 1950 Soviet economic and military advisers are a
constant feature in Afghanistan.  A successful coup by reformist
Muhammad (yes different from Mohammad) Daud, cousin to Mohammad Zair,
again tried to modernize country in 1973, but the religious radicals
further sealed their own doom by aligning themselves with the People's
Democratic Party of Afghanistan.  The PDPA, and their radical cohorts,
overthrew the government in 1978 under Muhammad Taraki, who flew up the
red flag of Socialism, then persecuted the Islamic fundamentalists
worse than Government it vilified (typical Bolsheviks).  It was only at
this time that the United States, under Carter, a duffus President
being led around by a schizophrenic Brzezinski, did anything remotely
similar to "proliferating destabilization" happen.  The country was
already a mess of conflict going back 50 years by the time we started
supplying the Muhajadeen.

Even before the Soviet withdrawal from Afghanistan, Osama Bin Laden was
already planning to take his new show on the road.  This ingrate's
stated goal was to form a pan-Islamic Caliphate world wide.  He is
attempting to resurrect a Crusade that began in 632, and it has very
little to do with the United States.  We used our Military might to
stop a madman, Saddam Hussein, from invading a Muslim Nation, Kuwait.
We supported the Muhajadeen against the Soviets.  Bill Clinton bombed
Serbian Christians to protect Kosovar Muslims.  Ronald Reagan secretly
supplied Iranian Muslims against Sadam Hussein’s first invasion.  If we
are in anyway culpable, it is because we failed, until September 11th 2001,
to recognize how bestial this new Barbarian threat is.  Like the Romans,
we became to soft, self absorbed, and pre-occupied to notice to the
growing threat.  When the President tries to warn us, he is met with
self aggrandizing posters like you, with your bombastic claptrap,
sourcing rappers and television comics, telling everyone that it's a
big conspiracy to fund the Military Complex, or whatever clichéd drivel
is currently chic.

George Bush is no Charles Martel, but he is trying, at least, to stop a
growing threat ignored by Carter, Reagan, Bush, Clinton, and he
himself, had it not been for September 11th, before it escalates into a
World War.


Its a simplistic look at Afghanistan's history, but after reading what Red wrote, I was compelled to find it and share it.

RIK
 
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By Rikalonius
9/3/2009, 12:38 pm


If there is one key thing that your series solidifies for me, Red, is that no matter what color, race, nationality, or geographical location, there will always be a struggle between the honorable idea of individual liberty, and the collectivist plague that wrecks Republics like locusts on a wheat field.  The ying and the yang of human existence can be summed up to these two competing ideologies.  You are so correct when you say that no matter what country you discuss, there will always be those that are willing to be dupes of collectivism.

My friend passed along to me how coincidental it was that I shared Red's post with him after he had just gotten down watching Andrew Zimmerman go to Cuba for his Bizarre Foods show.  The show featured elderly Cubans cooking a pig and singing folk songs to Che.  He said he was saddened, but more so after reading Red's series, that the travel channel accepted the popular narrative about Cuban bliss, hook, line, and sinker.

I went looking for some details and found that he had also covered himself in blood for Santeria, and ate tree rats.  One comment said "You have to show the culture the way it is, and not sugar coat it."  Another commenter, a Cuban expatriate called it Cuban propaganda for the tourism board, and that people "have to eat rats because the government will not let them go out on boats to fish, for fear they would leave."

One poster was oh so full of himself and just assumed, as has been said to me many times, that people "choose" to live like that.  And another, more informed person quickly dismantles the myth with hard reality.  I'm sure the former will not be convinced, however.  As Red said, one just has to argue once with a "Truther" to realize how immovable some opinions are.
 
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By Czar of Defenestration
9/3/2009, 3:17 pm


Rep. Pete Stark presents my point exactly as to the glories of our peoples:

GET THE F*&K OUT OR I'LL THROW YOU OUT THE WINDOW.

A marvel to behold.  Ahh...the view...the fresh air!

From the windowsill, that is:

- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjbPZAMked0
 
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By Red Square
9/3/2009, 7:59 pm


Someone emailed me this picture today and I couldn't help but add it as an illustration to Part 3. Here it is with a relevant quote.

Red Square wrote
The Soviet Union may have self-destructed in 1991, but the seeds of intellectual deception it had planted gave such a bountiful crop that seventeen years later America has elected a leader who is guided by received notions designed to subdue and destroy this country. Apparently, the rumors about America's victory in the Cold War appear to have been greatly exaggerated.



 
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By I want stuff please
9/4/2009, 12:14 pm


I could get really long winded here with praise or try to summon some funny responses but, god! this is good writing...and contains a rare mix of common sense and deep insight into the character of collectivism and all its spawn.  You are definitely in the same league as Eric Hoffer.

The funny stuff at this site is awesome but these occasional drifts into the serious terrain is profound.

Brilliant!
 
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By Comrade Popov
9/6/2009, 3:15 pm


Czar of Defenestration wrote
Rep. Pete Stark presents my point exactly as to the glories of our peoples:

GET THE F*&K OUT OR I'LL THROW YOU OUT THE WINDOW.

A marvel to behold.  Ahh...the view...the fresh air!

From the windowsill, that is:

- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjbPZAMked0


As I watched Comrad Stark try to educate this ignorante capitalist, I digressed and found humor. More motherboard treatments are in order. Please don't report me, as I am initiate and have found weakness in my resolve.
 
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By Beelzebob Brown
9/8/2009, 8:09 am


/Off

Ditto from Down Under. I won’t bother expressing my admiration for Red’s work here, he’s probably sick of hearing it. It’s one of those pieces John (the one in the Bible) was referring to, when he said “the truth will set you free”.  Total and utter precision, and credible.

I posted elsewhere soliciting some help formulating a US response to the “John Cleese letter to America” thing, which a church friend (nice guy, cares about the good stuff and a heart in the right place) had posted on facebook. I posted on FB the US response (with some help from Cubists). It was sharp, politically savvy, not overly insulting, and even a little self critical in places. Yet this (normally) pleasant, rational chap reacted with utter disdain for “Americans”, admitting that he considered them more worthy of scorn than anyone else. He even implied that “Americans” have no right to use satire and ironic humour, as if the British own the rights. The most sophisticated, sharp and hilarious satire I have ever seen has been here at The Cube. Monty Python has nothing on this. And I have learned more here about the US, and the world outside, than from any other source.

My little social experiment in tit-for-tat on facebook was very timely, now that I read Red’s article. Here in other western countries, even the most reasoned, rational and fair-minded people put all these good traits away when having an attitude towards America. The British joking at the Americans’ expense is not the issue. It’s the fact that everyday people believe only the US deserve it. Even Christians, who pay careful attention to how they speak about their adversaries, leave their decency at the door when it comes to Americans. And now I see why. I honestly don't blame my church friend or hold him in any contempt. He's just uncritically accepted the same pop culture narrative as have so many others.

This is one of the more innocuous symptoms of what is, essentially, anti-Americanism of the type explained in Red’s articles. This lockstep of group-thinking which is fed endlessly by Hollywood. No, not even your friends and family will accept that you are challenging the consensus of US culpability in world conflicts. CIA plot? Of course it was. Are you nuts? Are you a part of normal society? Hell, I even have friends in the defence forces who believe the war in Iraq was blood for oil.

Maybe it won’t get to the point of gulags, executions and Stasi informants ratting on their neighbours. But when it gets even close to this, I wonder what the masses will do. I imagine, if they have any individual reasoning left, they might even ask us what to do!

Thanks for helping keep our minds free, Red!
 
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By Red Square
9/8/2009, 12:59 pm


Thanks, Beel! Responses like this help me keep going. I've been meaning to write this for a long time, but the scope was too big to take it lightly and break into smaller pieces. Now that I lost my day job due to the "recovery efforts" I finally found time to write this and some more.

After 9/11 which I witnessed first-hand at the World Trade Center, I started going to various internet forums to find the answers and to confirm my own understanding of the world. What I discovered there was a wall built of stereotypes and hoary anti-American cliches. Having been left a job (my office building was damaged by the falling towers) I spent several months on a liberal forum of Alternet.org arguing with international "progressives" whom until then I counted as good and intellectually sound people.

Intellectually I had been moving towards the virtues of individual liberty all my life, ever since I discovered the fraud and hypocrisy of the collectivist Soviet system where I grew up. But politically I was not aligned with anything, mostly because all political lines were blurred and often even invisible in the big bubble of ideological conformity that is New York.

I tried to understand the American system better by reading the New York Times, Time, Newsweek, listening to the National Public Radio (state-run, no commercials) but, as it turned out, they were the ones who actually maintained and protected that bubble. I discussed issues with Americans around me but, as it turned out, they were as blissfully unaware of the world outside the bubble as I was. This was confusing. But it was not painful enough to prompt me to start looking for a way out. What I witnessed on 9/11 was extremely painful, and that pain drove me mad enough to start bouncing around looking for the real truth as opposed to its imitation, which I could already feel was phony through and through.

But before I discovered the real intellectual world I had to break through the bubble walls, and it was traumatic. It involved loss of friends, disillusionment in the intellectual and moral authority I had previously looked up to, alienating people who I had hoped would like me, and abandoning any prospects to fit in the cultural/writing/publishing establishment in this city and, subsequently, in the rest of the country.

The ideas expressed in this essay had been circling in my head as I was breaking through that metaphorical wall and I used them randomly to beat the attacks from those guarding it. They helped me to break through and I thought they were important enough to remember them and write them down in one piece - so that someone else could use them as a weapon or a shield while crossing the same lines. So there you go.

And as I was breaking through, they told me things "about me" I had never heard before and never even thought in those terms. In their eyes I suddenly became a right-wing bigot, a racist, a homophobe, a religious extremist, someone who uncritically followed the dogmas of the establishment, and never questioned the wrong ideas put in my head by my jingoistic US-flag-loving Father (who, in fact, doesn't share my ideas, lives in another country, and doesn't even speak English).

Apparently these were not just the fighting words, but also the inflexible stereotypes the "open-minded progressives" have about their ideological opponents. It was painful too, but not as painful as watching thousands of people die in collapsing skyscrapers. At least these "tolerant" bullies and taunters pointed me in the right direction - the operative word here being "RIGHT." They firmly associated "right" with fascism, but that was another lie. The ideological right, at least here in America, is about freedom and individual rights - it is the opposite of fascism, which is a heresy of socialism and stands on the left with all the other irrational collectivist heresies.

The right - the rational, freedom-loving, self-respecting, productive, common-sense America - is where I finally discovered the real world with real values, morality, love for each other, appreciation for the truth, fairness, and - most importantly - Reason, which is the foundation of it all.

But as I also realized that the Left would never stop attacking the good, I wanted to protect Reason from the leftist corruption. That is why I built the People's Cube. And this is where I met some of the best new friends, as the Cube quickly became populated by the wittiest, smartest, funniest, warmest, and the most knowledgeable people I could have never met otherwise. They have all the real qualities that the "progressives" can skillfully imitate but never possess.

As a young man, I remember hoping to find and join such a great company of like-minded people, but I couldn't find it. I never even dreamed I would eventually create such a company myself with my own work - of all places, in America!
 
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By Obamugabe
9/8/2009, 2:01 pm


Red

You should be dammed to the Gulag dungeons for your thoughtcrimes.

PLEASE DO NOT write a book, IT WILL NOT be a best seller. You definitely DO NOT deserve a global audience for your putrid, racist hate filled anti revolutionary drivel!

Amandla Comrades!

Obamugabe.
 
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By Beelzebob Brown
9/8/2009, 5:11 pm


Obamugabe wrote
Red

You should be dammed to the Gulag dungeons for your thoughtcrimes.

PLEASE DO NOT write a book, IT WILL NOT be a best seller. You definitely DO NOT deserve a global audience for your putrid, racist hate filled anti revolutionary drivel!

Amandla Comrades!

Obamugabe.


Amen and amen, Red. You simply must NOT write a book. You have no credibility or platform whatsoever, and the primary market would only be the enemies of progress. Which would just be wrong.

And I would definitely NOT buy and tirelessly plug the book Down Under!
 
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By AbecedariusRex
9/8/2009, 8:42 pm


Wait, Red, if I'm reading that right, are you saying the PC was founded after 911?  Ironic.  It was that event that shook me out of my small Hobbiton of blissful disinterest in world politics - finding of talk radio (AM 1280) and involvement in the intellectual world of the blog and local publishing.  But I thought the PC was an older thingummy... "Oh Brave New World that has such people in't!"
 
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By Red Square
9/8/2009, 9:24 pm


The Cube was officially launched on April 1, 2005

The Cube Is In Your Corner!

Quote

The wait is over!

Oppressed workers, peasants, and unwashed toiling intelligentsia of our great American Motherland! The People’s Cube has finally risen over the virtual horizon like the red sun of the revolution, dispelling the right-wing darkness of the blogosphere! This day shall be known as the dawn of Gulagosphere. It shall become a state holiday, celebrated in centuries ahead by spontaneous street marches of correctly educated proletarians chanting Party-approved slogans, peacefully hurling bricks at occasional remnants of the bourgeoisie, and vigorously consuming quantities of inexpensive People’s Cube sugar beet vodka!

 
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By Colonel 7.62
9/8/2009, 9:50 pm


{off} I'm sorry to hear you lost your job  Red.  Perhaps it was redistributed to another, more deserving worker? Any "hope" in picking up another one soon?

{on} Yes, do not write a book,  Such thoughtcrimes would be the worst thing unleashed on this nation, since G.H. Bush didn't pull out in time.
 
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By Leninka
9/9/2009, 2:17 am


Red Square wrote

But before I discovered the real intellectual world I had to break through the bubble walls, and it was traumatic. It involved loss of friends, disillusionment in the intellectual and moral authority I had previously looked up to, alienating people who I had hoped would like me, and abandoning any prospects to fit in the cultural/writing/publishing establishment in this city and, subsequently, in the rest of the country.


{prog off}

Dear Comrade Red Square,

This last election, I was seared to the bone by a photo sent to me by someone I considered a good friend.  Either she's a complete idiot, or she knew what she was doing, and got a thrill from sticking it to me.  Her husband is a partner in a restaurant, and they hosted Comrade Carter.  She sent along a photo of herself with him.  I thought I was going to vomit.  I never answered her correspondence again.

This isn't how things used to be.  It never riled me before, like it does now.  My spouse was a Dem when we met (he couldn't help it-he's from Minnesota), but it wasn't a deciding factor in our relationship, and within two years, he saw the light.  I didn't have to do anything.  We never once argued politics.
 
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By Obamugabe
9/9/2009, 4:50 am


I would like to suggest that the PC award our Dear and Glorious Comrade Michael Moore some kind of People's Award for his fantastic contributions to our Cause.

Has anyone seen his wonderful new People's Documentary on the Evils of the Capitalistic Anti-Revolution?

Amandla Comrades!

Obamugabe
 
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By Beelzebob Brown
9/9/2009, 5:51 am


Obamugabe wrote
I would like to suggest that the PC award our Dear and Glorious Comrade Michael Moore some kind of People's Award for his fantastic contributions to our Cause.

Has anyone seen his wonderful new People's Documentary on the Evils of the Capitalistic Anti-Revolution?



The best synopsis of our beloved fat pathological liar cuddly revolutionary's latest work is here at the appalingly anti-progressive National Review.

Warning: It gives away the whole plot in one line!

Beelz
 
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By Beelzebob Brown
9/9/2009, 6:04 am


Leninka wrote
  Her husband is a partner in a restaurant, and they hosted Comrade Carter.  She sent along a photo of herself with him.  I thought I was going to vomit.  I never answered her correspondence again.



I hope he didn't bring his long lost twin. If so, it's no wonder you were so nauseous.


 
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By Room 101
9/9/2009, 11:54 am


Red Square wrote
In their eyes I suddenly became a right-wing bigot, a racist, a homophobe, a religious extremist, someone who uncritically followed the dogmas of the establishment

{Prog off}

Sticks and stones. The email below is about me, sent from my only living aunt to her email list of friends and relatives.  (She mistakenly left me on the list.)  My email that precipated it was simply a note about a House Bill regarding FDA requirements...nothing too controversial, just applicable to her (so I thought).

"Where do these right wingers get off thinking this administration is going to burden us with more laws and bigger bureaucracy.   Did they not see what 8 years of Bush tinkering did to grow the government.  And the laws he broke, not wrote……oh, think there were a few of those as well."

In the words of Bugs Bunny..."What a maroon!"  I've learned to simply cut these people out of my life...those who have no eyes to see and no ears to hear and no mind to reason. Our Founders sacrificed their family, possessions, and their very lives to establish our Republic and these idiots want to throw it away with both hands as fast as possible. When and if they ever realize it, it will be too late for us all.  Life is short. Many times it has hurt and will hurt more. There may be more than mental pain soon. We're in prep school now. Graduation will be some tough sloggin' and won't be pretty.
The gifted writers and artists on this site (and other sites...like, Iowa Hawk) are in a league of brilliant, informed, witty, and truth-seeking patriots.  The laughter has saved my sanity many times. It's nice to know there are like-minded souls and it restores my strength and resolve to read testimonies like Red Square's.

Welcome to the no-job club, Red Square. Maybe some of us are losing jobs providentially, so  the job of saving our Nation can be given first priority and placed in the hands of the most capable and brave.
{Prog ON}



Good comrades do not want to break the big bubble of ideological conformity, they just want to bounce on it in unison of thought and body. Bounce on!
 
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By Obamugabe
9/9/2009, 1:24 pm


Comrade Red

While you look for a new shovel to toil at for the greater good, write that book!

OK Nevermind....


Amandla Comrades!

Obamugabe
 
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By Leninka
9/9/2009, 6:16 pm


Beelzebob Brown wrote
Leninka wrote
  Her husband is a partner in a restaurant, and they hosted Comrade Carter.  She sent along a photo of herself with him.  I thought I was going to vomit.  I never answered her correspondence again.



I hope he didn't bring his long lost twin. If so, it's no wonder you were so nauseous.



Comrade Beelzebob Brown,

Thank you for sharing the photo of Comrade Carter's better half.  I suspect the twin crawled into the skin of my friend and continues to reside there to this day.  She is the one to the far left.






I wonder what Cap and Trade will do to the cost of operating a restaurant.
 
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By Leninka
9/9/2009, 6:24 pm


Obamugabe wrote
Comrade Red

While you look for a new shovel to toil at for the greater good, write that book!

OK Nevermind....


Amandla Comrades!

Obamugabe


I agree with you, Comrade Obamugabe.  And Comrade Red Square is also very funny on the radio, so I suspect he would be quite entertaining as a public speaker.  The thought occurred to me this morning when I came across this article: Retirement Planning Wisdom . . .

To hear Comrade Red Square on the radio, Click Here

Sorry, I went to the link and the podcast is no longer there.  However, you can still read about Comrade Red Square's experience.
 
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By Commissarka Pinkie
9/10/2009, 11:48 am


Red Square wrote
As a young man, I remember hoping to find and join such a great company of like-minded people, but I couldn't find it. I never even dreamed I would eventually create such a company myself with my own work - of all places, in America!


Comrades, behold what this man did and how he did it.  

The Progressive way of doing it would be for him to sit in the basement of his U.S. flag-waving jingoistic father's $450,000 McMansion, hammering away at his little blog as he deplores the lack of a government program to provide him with some kind of forum where he could meet people like himself.  He didn't even go one step further by starting a non-profit, non-partisan grassroots initiative to raise awareness of the need to send a strong message to our elected representatives that the people expect them to take some sort of action--even if it's just passing another lousy resolution--to establish and fund such a program.  

At the very least he could have pinned a ribbon to his shirt and gone out in public, and when people asked him what the ribbon was for, he could've replied, "It's to raise awareness of the need for someone else besides me to establish a place where I can enjoy the company of like-minded people," and there, he's done his part for the cause, the rest is up to the government and you the taxpayer who may not think your tax dollars should pay for what he wants.  

But no.

He didn't wait for the government.  He just went out and did it himself.

I wonder what Mulva and the Mime are doing these days?
 
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By Comrade Nika
9/10/2009, 1:58 pm


Comrade Red Square, I have to along with Comrade Obamugabe and others, please do not write a book.  






Red, I want to add my thanks to you for writing this.  I have had a difficult time understanding where all this anti-americanism is coming from, especially from people that I thought were better educated and smarter than me.  They make pronouncements, declare them to be true, end of discussion.  Truth and facts be damned.
 
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By MiG Pilot
10/16/2009, 1:12 pm


It is so good to see that the Soviet Union may be gone, but its glorious methods and procedures are not forgotten, and are in use by Dear Leader Comrade Obamugabe!
 
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By Sententia Scelestus
10/25/2009, 7:52 pm


Just Wow... your considerable efforts in educating the lumpen prole masses on the inner workings of the movement must not go unpunished. Truth-telling of this magnitude can only serve to undermine the revolution. Dear Leader will not be pleased.
 
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The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand



Write down this number and report to your Kommissar at the nearest railroad station.
Don't forget warm clothes and a shovel!
 
 
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Study: the road to hell paved with Nobel Peace Prizes

Obama wins Nobel Peace Prize. Wishing all our readers a Happy April First!


Roman Polanski named new School Safety Czar in wake of Jennings scandal
Charles Manson: 'Leave Polanski alone, hasn't he suffered enough?'


Obama loses Olympic bid, will try for Special Olympics next
Carter: if the IOC doesn't give the Olympics to Chicago, they're racists

Saudis: the word 'assassina- tion' will never be the same
Al Qaeda: 'We shove bombs up our butts'
Richard Gere denies Al Qaeda membership
Experts: assassin hid bomb in anal cavity adjacent to brain
Study: 90% of G20 protestors driven to Pittsburgh by mom

Ahmadinejad: Iran needs enriched uranium to purchase large IKEA sofa
Obama: If we don't bomb Iran now, we'll never pass healthcare reform
Taliban hires DC lobbyist in effort to get Obama's attention
Missile defense: Czechs angry at Obama for being canceled

Media study: Caucasian toddlers are more likely to cut eye-holes into "blankies"
Democrat strategist: 9 out of 10 white infants prefer cross burning over mother's milk
Mahmoud’s Liquidation Warehouse: 50% off Israel - this weekend only - it won’t last long

Obama: Black kids still forced to beat people up at back of bus
Charlie Gibson: Neil Armstrong went where?
Obamacare, it’s finger-licking good!

Ben and Jerry release 'Hate Monger Bigot' flavor to celebrate those who support traditional marriage
'Shiver me Timbers!': Somalia unveils People's Institute for Redistribution, Adventurism & Thalassic Extortion (PIRATE)
Energy Czar: to save energy, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off

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Other 49 states impose carbon tax on California due to wildfire smoke
Following Scotland's lead, US Justice Dept releases Charles Manson, citing battle with chronic hemorrhoids
Obama to media: Please respect our girls' privacy, especially Mr. Letterman
Teachable moment: Obama to hold 'beer summit' between offended Post Office and UPS
Taliban sends protesters to Afghan town hall meetings in attempt to get Obama administration to withdraw

Gotham villains working for the Common Good™

White House recalibrates description of town hall protesters from 'terrorists' to 'man-made Nazi fascist pigs'
Experts: when buying Astroturf, remember to look for the Union Label
National-socialist health care?

Drudge insulates self from White House anger by naming his site MoveOn.Drudge
ABC greenlights epic 12-part miniseries based on Beer Summit

Moveon.org petitions Dems to leave Bush/Cheney alone and 'move on to pressing issues facing the nation'
Palin: Critics ipso facto are quitters
Honduran ex-president Zelaya holds press- conference, presents birth certificate for examination
Cambridge: fighting racial bias, Obama picks black scholar Henry Louis Gates as Door Jigging Czar
Obama: white cop acted like inexperienced rookie, but being one I may be biased
On the international front: Obama brings back Cold War, switches sides
Signs of recovery: WH study finds number of searches for 'economic depression' on Google lower than it could have been under FDR
Obama inherited broken teleprompter from
George W Bush
Zelaya: we support the democratically-elected President of the USA, even though he has strongly opposed American policies
Eco group 'Earth First' protests burying non- biodegradeable body of Michael Jackson under the ground
Study: Media orgasm over Michael Jackson's death oddly appropriate
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Secretary of the Interior vows to turn Neverland Ranch into 'King of Pop' National Monument
Riots in Iran: Obama invokes Starfleet Prime Directive - non-interference with social development of native planet even at the cost of own life
Obama hurts a fly, forgets to read Miranda rights
ACLU: fly murder by slapping unconstitutional

Obama mistakes Inspector General for a private CEO, orders him to resign
DHS simplifies procedures, cuts learning curve, renames all terrorism 'right-wing'
Earth may collide with Venus in 3.5 billion years. We must act NOW!!!
CBS study: statutory rape jokes not as hilarious as previously thought
White House tree commits suicide over economic policy

Obama: 'I inherited this tree from George W. Bush'
Obama to economy: 'make like a tree and collapse'
In Cairo, Obama promotes shovel-ready projects for Muslim communities

Obama's comment linking Islam to algebra sets off anti-Islam riots in US inner-city schools
Keith Olbermann rises to #1 on Larry Craig's 'Top ten liberals I'd like to sodomize' list

Ahmadinejad hands out potatoes to corner Irish-Iranian vote
Lady Justice undergoes extreme makeover on TV, becomes sexier, more empathetic, less blind

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Obama: "We must work to rid the world of nuclear weapons and of Israel too while we're at it"
Obama to impose a cap on temperatures for patients in government-subsidized hospitals
Brady Campaign to Prevent Cereal Violence applauds gov't crackdown on cheerios, calls for registration of cereal bowls
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Obama's rich supporters chagrined to find he's a class worrior and not the cynical hypocrite they'd counted on
Congress nationalizes DeBeers, changes marketing slogan to 'government programs are forever'
Sen. Specter: 'we could be energy-independent by now if Republicans invested in eternal engine research'
Kentucky Derby winner admits to having no specific strategy: I just kept repeating 'hope' and 'change' and I won... wow!

Never waste a good crisis: Obama uses swine flu epidemic to put a mask on Joe Biden

Study: exposure to pork- barrel projects heightens risk of catching swine flu
Islamic scholars green-light use of government pork by Muslim groups: 'not haram'

DHS Napolitano's preferred man-made disaster color warnings: chocolate, vanilla, strawberry

Dow Jones rally prompted by record sales of tea bags on April 15
WH: Obama's handshake with Saudi King looked like a bow as King Abdullah's arms are twice as long as human arms but atrophy prevents use

DHS tip on spotting a right- wing extremist: watch out for the one carrying a paycheck
Opposed to teabagging, Pelosi accepts motion to expel Congressperson Barney Frank
Spring cleaning tip: don't forget to change your scientific consensus from winter setting "climate change" to summer setting "global warming"

Obama uses old Bush-era teleprompter for Baghdad speech
Segway and GM launch a
2-wheeled contraceptive
Obama's stern reaction to North Korea missile launch: "I'm tellin'!"
Lenin laughs ass off over crisis in capitalism

Scientists: Lenin statue expelled no harmful gases, only dialectical materialism
Obama gives Queen a shovel




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NBC: We are all Special Olympians now, especially Olbermann
Obama's teleprompter caught moonlighting as AmEx spokesperson: 'Don’t leave home without it'

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Alabama gunman was trying to 'be more like Europeans'
After shootings, EU threatens potential mass murderes with increased paperwork and red tape
Oil prices rising; most viable solution is blame Limbaugh
Obama to bring Cuba in from the cold; political prisoners to remain outside
Healthcare crisis: Planned Parenthood forced to offer 2 abortions for the price of 1; 50% off if you refer a friend

Hillary presents Russian Foreign Minister Lavrov with the People's Cube


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Obama's Reaganesque address: "I've just declared peace on the Soviet Union. The bonging will start in five minutes"
Satellite launched to confirm global warming: finds none, crashes in Antarctica in protest
Al-Qaeda founder discovers DNC playbook, attacks own side in war an terror
Obama to slash deficit after increase; firefighters to quench house after setting fire to it


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Treasury Dept buys Monopoly board game for policy advice
Democrats pay back their constituents, save faltering squeegee businesses from collapsing


Muslim group offended by pork hidden in stimulus package, threatens revenge
Obama appoints guilt czar to oversee fair distribution of guilt among all Americans
Size matters: stimulus package so big it won't even fit on Drudge
No help from Obama to storm-ravaged Kentucky; officials consider renaming state to New Orleans in effort to get attention
Politico: volcano trouble in Alaska a result of Palin's policies
MoveOn adopts Bush's cowboy diplomacy: 'You're either with Obama or Rush'
Obama urges liberals to start listening to Rush Limbaugh: 'all too often we start by dictating on issues and don't always know all the factors involved. So let's listen.'

More bad economic news: area antiwar group lays off its bumper sticker makers
Dissent no longer patriotic: Obama
Reminder to Hollywood celebrities: must change 'patriotic' setting from 'hate America' to 'love America' on Jan. 20

Obama promises to Photoshop a better future for America

You won't be told lies if you don't ask questions: Obama's new media policy
Personals: senate seats available in NY & Il. Hardly ever used. Cash OK.


Change we can believe in: Clinton 1990s staffers
Somali pirates hijack international space station

Starting with 11/5/08, the cor- rect progressive greeting in America is "Barack Obama!" The reply is "Obama Barack!"
Laika the Space Dog consi- dered for new White House pet: "Thoroughly vetted by Bill Ayers"


CHANGE: President-elect Obama crushes Yankee imperialism in a landslide





Seven Obama cousins found living in voting booth



US choppers attack ACORN voter registration center in Syria
US military: We decided to strike now because this time next year we’ll be a Peace Keeping force

Biden predicts severe test for Obama in first six months: another question from Joe the Plumber
Obama: Let he who is without wealth cash the first check!

Joe Biden: work is a four-letter word


FBI investigates Mickey Mouse Club for voter fraud
Embarrassed ACORN accidentally registers 'Ronald Reagan'

Kids' hymns to Obama a success of Democrat strategy: If you can't abort them, indoctrinate them
World to USA: 'Fix world ecomonic crisis so we can get back to hating you'

Obama's campaign invites opponents to play 'Truth or Jail'
Biden: Hoover text-messaged Americans to calm fears during 1929 crash
Dead support Obama, all are registered to vote by ACORN
Biden calls taxes patriotic
Study: Jesus spoke without a telepromter

Obama promises free lipstic for everybody if elected
KARAOKE: These Are The Jerks We Call Journalists

Obama's negotiations with Gustav prove fruitful; storm spares "French Quarter"
Feminist group: Sarah Palin worst mother since June Cleaver; decried as "too feminine"
Obama: leave Bristol alone, she has been punished enough with a baby
Putin shoots tiger with Polonium-laced dart
Obama: ready from day one to place a call to UN if a US city is nuked
Cult of personality at the People's Cube is up 90% compared to previous Five-Year Plan
Congress established windfall tax on US gold medals
International Olympic Committee to redistribute Phelp's ill-gotten golds to less fortunate athletes

Obama beats Hillary to coveted CPUSA endorsement
February 2050 declared White History Month. Future headlines expected to read "Minorities hardest hit... and deservedly so."
Obama denounces Russia's actions; humbled Russia sends self to Gulag
US trade deficit dropped; NYT instructs readers to turn paper upside down for more favorable view of graph
Sharpton protests disproportionate deaths of Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes, calls for immediate deaths of David Letterman and Billy Joel to even score
Science to unveil invisible cloak; Conservative White Christian male in NJ says he's been invisible for years
NYT: Russia's invasion of Georgia leaves much smaller carbon footprint than US invasion of Iraq
Larry the Cable Guy issues call to "man the pick up trucks" as Russia invades Georgia
Edwards claims he was having affair with camera, didn't notice woman attached




Chavez's parents cut off Hugo's credit card after Moscow shopping binge
Oil industry to Pelosi: You've been given a brain. Use it or lose it.
Congress to declare July 19th International Swimmers' Day


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How many superdelegates does it take to change a lightbulb?

Photoshopped Iranian missile saves 25% on Islamic Republic's carbon footprint


Word of the day:
HUSSIES n. Female Obama supporters changing their middle names to Hussein
Obama: we have always been at peace with Hillary Clinton
Grand Rapids Mayor George Heartwell vows city will be "vanilla" when rebuilt
Media grows impatient with Iowa's lack of flood-related rapes and pillaging: Why can't they be more like New Orleans?
Lou the Looter In Iowa
CNN investigates Iowans caught blowing FEMA debit cards at Tractor Supply Company
Obama: WTC problem ended on 9/11, Pentagon still a problem
Hillary supporters organize against Obama

Janet Reno congratulates Elian Gonzalez on joining Cuba's Young Communists

Elian Gonzales - my kid is a Communist Party Honor Student
Dick Durbin denies that being Hell's spokesperson and moonlighting as a Democrat Senator presents a conflict of interest
Flooding in Iowa causes typical white people to turn bitter and cling to evacuation procedures
Democrat energy policy: let them eat cake
Monica Lewinsky endorses Obama: 'This is not the Bill Clinton I knew'
NASA unveils 'ass-crack' space suit for plumbing repairs at int'l space station




Dead people at Obama's rally identified as a renegade splinter group of Hillary's 'invisible Americans'
Howard Dean: dead people will vote Democrat no matter who gets the nomination

Mainstream media silent on increased attacks on US troops by mainstream media
Sen. Kennedy under treatment. Mary Jo still dead

Muanmar drafts Mayor Nagin and Gov. Blanco to help with cyclone clean up
New Orleans Mayor sends school buses to Myanmar
As Darfur violence surges, world vows not to give a crap unless the US gets involved
Chinese citizens crushed by bricks and rubble; tanks have day off

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Friendly fire: BBC office hit by al-Qaeda rocket
Al Gore knows what caused Burma cyclone but won't say it
International community promises to suspend anti- Americanism until after American aid reaches Burma
Mainstream media saddened that Austrian pedophile isn't a Catholic priest, a Baptist minister, or a GOP senator



North Korea's nuclear technicians protest outsourcing jobs to Syria
Earth Day: save the planet, starve the children!

Focus group: if water boarding was a sexual preference, they'd be teaching it in public schools

Study: Wall Street losses unfairly target the rich

Mixed month for MTV: teen pregnancy drops, however STDs are on the rise
Obama pledges to give every typical small town family a possum sandwich
Delays at American Airlines: a sneak peak into proposed government healthcare

Stop and smell the Sharpies

Obama: baby is punishment; tax increase is bundle of joy

Media: this year's Global Bad News Awareness week to overlap with International Good News Obliviousness month
NPR journalists go on truckers-style protest over high price of lattes
Most popular April Fools joke: "A Democrat president won't raise taxes"


Obama denounced extreme statements in Osama's new tape but urged voters to listen to the entire message before making judgment
Obama's speech calls for change in stereotyping "the typical White person"
Spitzer denies applying hardball tactics in front of bathroom mirror and threatening to come after himself
New York State House retires Spitzer's #9 jersey
KKK endorses Harvard's gym segregation policy: 'Blacks and Jews are next'
London quake caused by SUV, now impounded by Scotland Yard
Hillary's healthcare plan to include smelling salts for Obama's supporters and mandatory amputation of Chris Matthews' leg
USMail Service to publish Obama's resume on new stamp
Obama: one man's plagiarism is another man's audacity
Candidate Barry O'Bama to court Irish vote
Berkeley ousting US Marines gives hope to al Qaeda: 'If hippies can do it, so can we!'
Berkley builds wall around self; man trying to flee 'Peace Sanctuary City' shot at checkpoint
John McCain apologizes for going to Vietnam, earns Jane Fonda's endorsement
To avoid scorn and ridicule, Tom Cruise converts to Islam
NY Times: Backward, close-minded, inbred southern hicks vote for Obama

NY Times: All the news that's fit to pimp
Dems offer first female for President, first Black for President, first pretty pony for Attorney General
Brokeback Mountain loses climber
NASA's Spirit Rover finds Dennis Kucinich campaign on Mars

Las Vegas: candidates offer plans to bail out flustered gamblers
Feds: subprime borrowers' relief package to include subprime rib
Silence in Cuba: Castro too ill to speak in public, Cubans too afraid to speak
Dems adopt old British "don't mention the war" strategy for '08 campaign

Obama's 'Take a penny, leave a penny' economic plan sparks new hope

Obama's campaign hires homeless people to talk about change on street corners

Panhandlers Union endorses Obama's plan for change

Al Gore's children receive carbon credits for Winter Solstice Holiday
Democrats call for troop surge in the War on Bush
Murtha: if we quit now, capitalism will win

Pelosi declares she likes class war, pledges to stay the course
Expert blames Republicans for not attacking all Democrat candidates equally
High school Meth teacher starts new class

Holy Mitt!
Violence in Iraq down 60%; media stories reporting this down 6000%
Imus covers all bases by hiring undocumented-Black- Jewish-homeless- transgendered-vegan- disabled-obese-Kartina- victim as a sidekick
Poll: most Muslims find curvature of Riemannian manifolds offensive
"How The Grinch Redistributed Winter Solstice" opens on Broadway
Left-wing bloggers hold vigil hoping suspect is connected to GOP candidate
Hostage situation expected to be politicized in the next 20 minutes
"Mall security" takes over operations in Baghdad
New study suggests that 1 US gallon of Latte is 170 times more expensive than 1 US gallon of Regular gasoline.
Al Gore sterilizes self to protect planet: 'Having children is selfish'
NY Times: some news is fitter to print than others

Study: most Americans will be worried about economy if told so often enough
Musharraf changes name to Chavez to avoid being called "dictator" by MSM and Democrats in US Congress
Media changes old adage "no news is good news" to "no good news is news"
US Congress extends hurricane season until the first Sunday in November
Lack of bad news from Iraq causes media recession. Women and minority journalists hardest hit.
LA Times drops term "wild" describing fire, uses "undocumented" fire instead
USA Today: big fires are getting bigger, small fires are getting smaller
Reid: Global Warming caused fire by overheating arsonist's head, provoking delusional paranoia
MoveOn.org pressures Congress to stop fighting fire and bring firemen home

Reid: The war on fire is lost
Pelosi: The number of fires has gone up since we started fighting fire
Kerry: If you don't do well in school you'll get stuck fighting fire in California
NY Times: Fighting fire creates even more fires
Harry Reid auctions clothes, furniture, car on eBay in effort to make millions off his name. "If Limbaugh can do it so can I." No takers so far.
Princess Leia Organa presents the Alderaanian Medal of Honor to Al Gore
Did Che Guevara descend from Prophet Mohammed?

San Andreas Fault in California preemptively renamed George Bush's Fault
Media Matters editor blows self up over Limbaugh's 'bomber' remark
End of Ramadan brings new rioting season to France
Harry Reid bangs shoe on table: "We will bury you!"
Dutch follow Ahmadinejad's lead, declare "there are no dykes in Holland"

Ahmadinejad to Amerika: "Don't tase me, bro!"

Bomb Girl and Taser Boy sell rights to their characters to Marvel Comics
Cindy Sheehan hires Bomb Girl and Taser Boy as image consultants

CBS stands by firing of Dan Rather: "He couldn't tell our logo from a hole in the ground"
Jessie Jackson on Obama: "too White." Obama on Jackson: "I'm a smoke dat biatch if I see him"

Tasered victim at John Kerry's speech to receive Purple Heart
Mugabe blames Zimbabwe's meltdown on Global Warming


To stomp out possible confusion, MSM changes spelling of Obama to Ubama
Craving acceptance from liberals, General Petraeus gains 300lbs and debuts report at Cannes.
George Soros stops funding Democrats, converts to Islam
Edwards: 41% of American children don't have lawyers
John Edwards proposes "single payer" trial lawyer insurance for all, mandatory pre-jurisprudence care
Illegal aliens kill people Americans won't kill
Democrats select 2008 presidential slogan:
"Death to America"

Larry "Happy Feet" Craig uses Michael Flatley's Riverdance defense
"Americans Coming Together" admit they had timing issues
Presbyterian clergy issue fatwah calling for Pope's death
New Jersey teen cracked iPhone with his face

Vick awaits doggie-style welcome in prison

Rock star behaves like rap star: huge media outcry
China's recall of defective Daily Kos bloggers causes suicides among Democrat strategists
Al Gore to recall the Internet


Media declares September National Bridge Awareness Month
First New Orleans, now Minnesota: Anderson Cooper travels up the Mississippi without a paddle
Ray Nagin pledges to build a chocolate bridge instead

William Jefferson spotted under collapsed bridge retrieving mystery package

Cannibalism, rape, looting, republicanism rampant in Minneapolis
Lindsay Lohan to enter astronaut training program
Nigeria's plan to nationalize local spam industry sparks massive riots in Lagos


Democrat Congress's two major victories: minimum wage increase and al-Qaeda's restored operating capability

London Mayor Livingston mandates Sharia law at nightclubs to prevent further bombings
Taliban spokesman blames media bias as civilian deaths from US air strikes grab headlines: "Taliban has murdered thousands of civilians and we can't even get mentioned on Countdown with Olbermann. What gives?"

Back alley massage parlors now offering "better ending than Sopranos"
Bush to close Gitmo, detainees released into Mexican custody to be put on fast track to US citizenship

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Study: Dan rather still unable to tell the difference between Paris Hilton and Katie Couric
Civil war in Gaza: if it's not in Iraq why report it?
US media increasingly impatient at lack of civil war in Iraq
US Embassy in Syria warns of sex attacks. So how long will Bill be visiting for?
Delighted Dems: "The surge has failed!"
MSM spokesman: There are no civil war clashes in Gaza!

Palestinians still wonder why their real civil war can't knock Iraq "civil war" off the front page
As Albanians welcome Bush and show love for USA, NY Times offers them free subscriptions to "solve problem"

Paris gets out of jail faster than an illegal immigrant

Socialist utopia takes foothold in Venezuela as water cannons salute victory
Pelosi: "I've seen climate change." John Fogerty of CCR also wants to know "if she's ever seen rain"
Democrats call for troop withdrawal from Jersey
Harry Reid: "Troop presence in New Jersey creating more terrorists"
French riot police deployed as open minded, tolerant socialists expected to react to election results
Progressives concerned with Sarkozy's "extremist agenda " of rule of law and assimilation to French culture

Dems: War needs deadline; only social policies can run indefinitely

Sheryl Crow to wipe out global warming one butt at a time

Va Tech lessons for MSM: must ban guns, rich kids
ACLU calls for calm, fears backlash against innocent gun owners: 'all gun owners aren't terrorists'
Liberal groups join gun tolerance and awareness workshops
Gun owners converting to Islam in droves to ward off profiling
Sharp jump in number of 'non-decapitated' babies following Supreme Court decision
Sharpton makes a list of 57 Don Imus sympathizers on public airwaves
Al Gore and John Kerry agree: people who live in greenhouses should not expel noxious gases

Al Gore hired by K-Y to pro-
mote Global Warming Jelly

New study shows Earth's 'fever' contagious; Mars asks planets to kick 'Greenhouse Mary' out of solar system

Schumer demands Karl Rove be indicted on 1976 parking ticket
Al Qaeda reacts to Schumer attack: "Thank Allah we're not Republicans!"
Dems: Khalid Sheik Mohamed just watched too many episodes of 24 and made all that stuff in his confession up
Fitzgerald to prosecute Ann Coulter for disclosing identity of presidential candidate John Edwards
Following Scooter Libby success, media demands journalists be included on all future juries
Kent State professor calls for bin Laden victory: time to bring in the National Guard again?
Hollywood to America: our moral issues are better than your moral issues
Obama promises to "purge himself" if he loses to Hillary to spare the public a lengthy trial

House vote: Insurgents react with non-binding IED
Democrat leaders don't support terrorists but they support their mission

North Korea agrees to nuclear disarmament, media hails Madeleine Albright
Bush: I support Democrat majority - but not their mission

Is it time for Pinochet yet?

see CITGO think HUGO CHAVEZ

Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History

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