Karl Marx Treatment Center
            Shop At The People's Cube Store
Karl Marx Treatment Center
The People's Cube
 
       Karl Marx Treatment Center - an outpatient Gulag program
MOTHER PAGE CURRENT TRUTH PEOPLE'S BLOG GROUPTHINK DRY GOODS   ABOUT   FEEDBACK
  WHAT IS PEOPLE'S CUBE?
You might be guilty of thoughtcrime if...
   
Winner of The Most
Politically Correct Web Site Medal and Award, 2005

DONATE!
KEEP THE CUBE ROLLING!
FRESH FROM THE CUBE
Newsletter


Subscribe voluntarily and we promise that the KGB will not sell your email down the river to other spy agencies



















Winner of
HERO OF CHANGE
Medal and Award, 2008



Awarded "Friend of People"
License and Medallion, 1957



 

SHAMELESS
MATERIALISTIC
BOURGEOIS
PROPAGANDA


buy this T-shirt



buy a T-shirt


SEE LARGER IMAGE

buy this T-shirt



buy this T-shirt



buy a T-shirt



BUY T-SHIRT



buy a T-shirt


buy a T-shirt



buy a T-shirt



buy a T-shirt
 






Get The People's Cube!

CLICK TO ZOOM

Re-educate
your friends, family, and co-workers!









 

Lenin Laughs Ass Off Over Crisis in Capitalism
By Red Square
4/3/2009, 8:05 pm


The St. Petersburg Times reports:

Friday, April 3, 2009 - A nationally-significant statue of Bolshevik leader Vladimir Lenin in front of St. Petersburg's Finland railway station was bombed by vandals early on Wednesday morning (i.e., April 1 - Fools Day and the 4th anniversary of the People's Cube - Red Square)

The explosion damaged the monument from behind leaving a large and unsightly hole. The force of the explosive device was equivalent to about 300 grams of TNT, according to the St. Petersburg police press office.

"No matter how anyone may feel about certain parts of our history, on a human level [this act of vandalism] is a crime against a remarkable piece of monumental art, a classic of the Soviet period," said Vera Dementyeva, the head of the St. Petersburg Monument Protection Committee (KGIOP), reported Interfax.

On Wednesday it emerged that an organization by the name of the ‘Zalessky Flying Battle Group' had taken responsibility for the act, Interfax said.

~

However, on Thursday the Russian Police Ministry said had no information that the organization had anything to do with the explosion. Pavel Klimovsky, deputy head of the ministry's press-service, said that information on the internet linking the group to the explosion could simply be "self-promotion".

The organization is illegal and not officially registered anywhere. In December last year they took responsibility for the destruction of a statue of Lenin in the city of Ryazan, Interfax said.

Meanwhile, the explosion has provoked indignation in Communist circles.

Vladimir Fyodorov, head of St. Petersburg Communist party office, drew several conclusions from the incident.

"First of all, it is not normal that any explosion can take place so easily in the center of a large city, especially near its busiest railway station," Fyodorov said.

"Secondly, such a situation does the country's current administration no favors as it leads to the feeling that if a monument is destroyed today because of the figure's politics, in the future, someone may target living people with such views," he said.

Fyodorov said the Communist party had previously requested security for the monument after it suffered a smaller act of vandalism when someone placed a sable into Lenin's hand. However, no such measures had been implemented, he said.

Vadim Tyulpanov, speaker of St. Petersburg's Legislative Assembly, said in his comment on the case that the city's deputies have in the past suggested toughening the penalties for vandalism.

"I see the incident as the act of vandalism toward one of the city's monuments. We've long been pressing for tougher punishments for such crimes," Tyulpanov said.

Meanwhile, representatives of the city's human rights organization, Memorial, said monuments to founders of the Soviet system had no place in Russian cities.

Irina Flige, head of Memorial's scientific and research center, argued that the only effective method to combat acts of vandalism against statues of Lenin is to remove them altogether.

[ ... ]



No word from the local Communist Party or government officials with regards to their opinion on whether the 1917 takeover of Winter Palace in their city by a  mob of drunken sailors acting on Lenin's instructions, followed by the destruction of the entire country including untold numbers of historical monuments, could be qualified as vandalism - and how tough the penalty for that should be.


UPDATE:

Another Lenin monument was blown up a couple of days later in Lugansk, Ukraine (no information in the English-language media yet). The Russian media suggests that the timing is explained by the approaching Lenin's birthday on April 22 - a day that the international progressives have turned into celebrating Earth Day.
 
Reply with quote

By Commissar Obamissar V
4/3/2009, 8:12 pm


These reactionaries must be dispatched with AT ONCE!  Somebody check to make sure Lenin isn't turning over in his tomb!!  Either that or find out what gave the Father of the Revolution a case of explosive diarrhea...

Lenin: I saw what Obama was doing to the evil capitalist empire and I shat myself Very Happy
 
Reply with quote

By Red Star
4/3/2009, 8:45 pm


Comrades this is why I feed my Goons Highly Trained Troopers"Beano" Daily. They seem to gravitate  to Borscht, Baked Beans, Sausage,Taco's,  Deer Meat, Washed down with copious amounts of Beer. Trust me you do not want with in 10 miles when they let go. For safety reasons, open flames are banned at "Camp Fluffy".

Poor Comrade Lenin, their was no doubt this was the result of year of Gassy build up. What a shame that his overcoat was badly damaged.




Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality ä INC
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Keeper of the Faith
 
Reply with quote

By Colonel 7.62
4/3/2009, 9:58 pm


Yes, track down those desperate vandals and send them to the Gulag at once!  

{off} ROTFLMAO!  That is funny!
 
Reply with quote

By Chairman M. S. Punchenko
4/4/2009, 12:08 am


You would think these kids could find something more constructive to do with their time like, say, throwing bricks at the windows of major financial institutions or torching luxury vehicles. I mean, this is state property that is being destroyed. State property, comrades. Such actions against the state must be dealt with promptly and in a humane fashion for the betterment of all -- slow, painful death is the only prescription for such wanton acts of rebellion.

 
Reply with quote

By Comrade Whoopie
4/4/2009, 8:41 am


Comrades, I believe this dis-ass-ter could be turned into something positive.

Let it stand as a warning about greenhouse gas emissions. Our scientists must re-double their efforts to create new varieties of cabbage which cause less flatulent discharges.

I call upon the ministers of agri-prop to institute a new 5 year plan.
 
Reply with quote

By Solidarity 9-6347
4/4/2009, 9:21 am


Not to worry, comrades. As you can see, the great Lenin is giving the 'thumbs up' to comfort the masses that he is alright, and that although he has just released an extreme amount of carbon emissions into the atmosphere, his flatulence has positive effects on the ecosystem and to all those fortunate to breath in the fumes. Please resume shoveling.
 
Reply with quote

By Comrade_Tovarich
4/4/2009, 10:33 am


Comrades,

I have never considered a tattoo, until now.
 
Reply with quote

By Red Square
4/4/2009, 5:00 pm


UPDATE:

Another Lenin monument was blown up a couple of days later in Lugansk, Ukraine (no information in the English-language media yet). The Russian media suggests that the timing is explained by the approaching Lenin's birthday on April 22 - a day that the international progressives have turned into celebrating Earth Day. Does that mean we should expect more explosions in the next few weeks?

On a different note - while the authorities are planning to spend millions of rubles to patch the backside hole in St. Petersburg, I think that the most appropriate course of action is to leave the hole as is. It's a compromise that works on many levels. It reflects a whole range of political realities. It leaves all the concerned parties more or less satisfied. And it doesn't cost a kopeck!


 
Reply with quote

By Navigator
4/4/2009, 6:00 pm


Perhaps it was a cold?
When Obama sneezed during a bow to The Saudi Arabian King Abdullah he bent over and sneezed in what sounded like the word, "Fascism".

"Kazoonitie!" Mr. President, we are sure you didn't mean it or know better.

 
Reply with quote

By Commissar_Elliott
4/4/2009, 11:38 pm


Red Square wrote
UPDATE:

Another Lenin monument was blown up a couple of days later in Lugansk, Ukraine (no information in the English-language media yet). The Russian media suggests that the timing is explained by the approaching Lenin's birthday on April 22 - a day that the international progressives have turned into celebrating Earth Day. Does that mean we should expect more explosions in the next few weeks?

On a different note - while the authorities are planning to spend millions of rubles to patch the backside hole in St. Petersburg, I think that the most appropriate course of action is to leave the hole as is. It's a compromise that works on many levels. It reflects a whole range of political realities. It leaves all the concerned parties more or less satisfied. And it doesn't cost a kopeck!


Not to mention it makes Lenin look poor/oppressed i.e. the tattered cloths.

I must say, when I heard this story, my commissar heart had a murmer which would put Darth Cheney's problems to shame. Comrade Red Square, shall we start the purges early with those who vadalise (please excuse my poor spelling abilities) and associate with these terrorists, even if they're not from our country?

All I know is statues of our glorious leaders must not be touched by proletarian hands!

(off)
I'm surprised, even with the shootings going on here, the MSM, or at least MSNBC didn't catch onto this story. Vandals damaged a statue of their leader! Why would they not want the world to know this (rhetorical)?

Speaking of the MSM, check out this Rush Monolouge from Friday (4-3-09)
http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/home/daily/site_040309/content/01125115.member.html

For a quick summary, on Larry King Alive, he interviews Penn Jillette and Stephanie Miller. While it's a typical run of the conservative (libertarian)/liberal debate, Rush makes a good point something Larry brought up. Larry said something along the lines of someone needs to think for everyone (groupthink basically). Rush says a) balogna, b)Larry thinks he is a leader, but to Obama and his Inner Circle, he's just another prole.
 
Reply with quote

By edgarinventor
4/5/2009, 4:43 pm


Ah, it's a shame so few people know the wonders of Thermite! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Themite
Iron Oxide, or finely ground rust, some Aluminum ground the same way, mix it carefully, put it on top of  the One's future statues (I keed, I keed!)

With a simple firework prop high temperature ignition, it brightly burns a hole on metal, Terminator stile!


Mwhahahahahah!


Better learn how to make some grams of this stuff, so as to evade future arbeit mach FEMA camps...
 
Reply with quote

By Mon Tse-Tro
4/6/2009, 11:10 am


These imperialist scum who say that the 1917 takeover of Winter Palace had acts of vandalism are completely wrong and blinded by their obstinate grand standing.  They are in no way equivalent.  One is the liberation from the oppressive reigns of classes and capitalism the other is a reference to farting.  This is in no way on par.  Thus, the vandalism created by the takeover of Winter Palace are completely justified.  While these vandals do not have a leg to stand on.

These vandals should be forced to go to the nearest work camp.  It is wrong that they have made the great and glorious statue of Lenin a brown eye on the face of progressive thinking.
 
Reply with quote

By Red Square
4/6/2009, 2:30 pm


In the spirit of this discussion and the continuing release of toxic assets by the Obama (a point made by Navigator) we present...


 
Reply with quote

By edgarinventor
4/6/2009, 2:42 pm


Haw, haw, haw!
May the one be in that position when he's kicked out of office!
 
Reply with quote

By Zampolit Blokhayev
4/8/2009, 6:15 pm


Before His Excellency uses the U.S. Constitution for toilet tissue, he should check to see if there are any remaining U.S. flags are available.
 
Reply with quote

By Red Square
4/9/2009, 6:35 pm


Comrade Elliott - we all have imagination, thank you. Some things are often left unmentioned for a reason.
 
Reply with quote

By Commissar Obamissar V
4/9/2009, 7:19 pm


I was imagining, rather than a flaming fart, a splatter-paint in a brown hue, similar to that which I always find all over the wall whenever I'm at Chicago O'Hare and enter a stall...
 
Reply with quote

By Navigator
4/9/2009, 10:36 pm


Red Square wrote
Comrade Elliott - we all have imagination, thank you. Some things are often left unmentioned for a reason.


Hehe

What is needed is a cork....in the other end.
 
Reply with quote

By Zampolit Blokhayev
4/10/2009, 11:11 am


Navigator wrote
Red Square wrote
Comrade Elliott - we all have imagination, thank you. Some things are often left unmentioned for a reason.


Hehe

What is needed is a cork....in the other end.


I was thinking in both ends, comrade. After all, the line between leftist politics and scatology is razor thin.

--
 
Reply with quote

By Commissar_Elliott
4/10/2009, 11:21 am


Red Square wrote
Comrade Elliott - we all have imagination, thank you. Some things are often left unmentioned for a reason.

Fair enough, I've deleted it.
 
Reply with quote

By Red Square
4/10/2009, 11:35 am


Comrade Elliott - alternatively you could've hidden it behind a link, so anyone interested enough could click on it and see the reason for the shitstorm in a cup.
 
Reply with quote

By Commissar_Elliott
4/10/2009, 11:44 am


Hmm. . . never thought of that. Irregardless, I think I'll just leave it deleted.
 
Reply with quote

By edgarinventor
4/15/2009, 2:32 pm


Red Square wrote
Comrade Elliott - alternatively you could've hidden it behind a link, so anyone interested enough could click on it and see the reason for the shitstorm in a cup.


You mean, like this?
 
Reply with quote

By Red Square
4/15/2009, 4:26 pm


Exactly. Is that Award your invention?
 
Reply with quote

By edgarinventor
4/15/2009, 4:37 pm


Yup, it all started with Wings 3d, and Art of Illusion.
A Spiral solid in Wings gave me the idea.
That, and most of the World's politicians...


Here, took the liberty of doing a Red Cube demo, fast job, no sickle and hammer on the centers,

Red Cube

A quick exam of the 2 page's source code will show you how it's done.

For the rest, there are some tricks, see this:

http://build.your.own.prototypes.googlepages.com/virtualgizmos.htm

As some, if not most, of you Comrades are Students, this little applet's use for some academic work is obvious, more so as there are yummy Maths applications on the JavaView Site, click on the link on these demos.
 
Reply with quote

By Red Square
4/21/2009, 2:11 pm


It turns out that on November 28, 2008 - almost six months ago - a big Lenin statue made out of granite was destroyed in my native Ukrainian city. It was installed in 1969 to mark Lenin's 100th birthday anniversary (1970), which had been a huge celebration. Coincidentally, my grandfather was in charge of its construction of the monument and the surrounding architectural complex.

The plan was to transport Lenin to a less prominent location, but when the crane attempted to lift the statue, it crumbled like an empty cape, following the fate of the country Lenin had created.

Here's what's left of it:



It was only briefly mentioned in the news.
 
Reply with quote

By edgarinventor
4/21/2009, 2:41 pm


I'd risk the wild theory that Lenin's ego destroyed the statue, in a totally Soviet reprisal against being moved from the limelight! Very Happy

To survey the populace, here's a tool a woman fellow Inventor (yes, there are some) tipped me about:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/


Ukraine?

Lots of your former Countrymen, here, working in Portugal. Very decent chaps, too.
 
Reply with quote

By Red Square
4/21/2009, 8:57 pm


This was too good to let go. Here's the video I just made about the destruction of that statue. Tomorrow American Thinker is going to publish a Lenin Birthday story that goes with it, and I'll post it later on the Cube in a separate thread.


 
Reply with quote

By Comrade Otis
4/21/2009, 9:16 pm


Now that is one of the saddest things I have seen. Of course Lenin's statue crumpled like an empty thing. Civilization is built on the foundation of profound and hard won ideas of what it is to be human. What civilization builds is supported by those ideas. When those ideas have been destroyed then the edifices of civilization, the superstructure of those ideas, become empty vessels and will crumble like fragile eggshells with the flick of a finger. Our cities, our buildings, our energy, and our way of life will soon be next just like this. The statues of greatness fall without great men to give them meaning.
 
Reply with quote

By Commissar_Elliott
4/21/2009, 11:42 pm


Red Square wrote
This was too good to let go. Here's the video I just made about the destruction of that statue. Tomorrow American Thinker is going to publish a Lenin Birthday story that goes with it, and I'll post it later on the Cube in a separate thread.

(off)
Hooray! Saddam's statue is being taken do. . . That's not Saddam!
 
Reply with quote

By edgarinventor
4/22/2009, 2:40 am


Quote
This was too good to let go. Here's the video Ijust made about the destruction of that statue. Tomorrow AmericanThinker is going to publish a Lenin Birthday story that goes with it,and I'll post it later on the Cube in a separate thread.



Hey, you can make a blow-apart Set,  so people can have endless hours of FUN!
Mwahahahah! Very Happy


... It had to happen;
I've made my own blog! Razz

http://circo-portugal.blogspot.com/
 
Reply with quote

By edgarinventor
4/22/2009, 4:49 pm


Quote
Civilization is built on the foundation of profound and hard won ideas of what it is to be human.


...But now, it's only about Hollywood Gurus, fashion, and newfangled, pansy notions, that feel right!
 
Reply with quote

By Sister Massively Opiated
4/25/2009, 10:26 pm


comrade edgarinventor,

are you at all familiar with the effects of a small amount of gasoline - about a 50 ml - coating the inside of a glass jug, to which a pinch of potassium permanganate is added, gently... the jug is then, gently, capped, and someone with a smooth 'arm' throws it, much like one would a football... gently... upon landing, the object absorbs, or is it discharges?... I guess is would be discharges, whatever stored kinetic energy it possesses as a result of being thrown (as far as possible... gently) and this, in turn, acts as a catalyst (forgive me... I believe this would be the correct term... I paid more attention to physics than chem in high school)... thereby creating a reaction between the minuscule amount of gasoline coating the inside of the jug, most of which has vaporized and mixed with the air inside, and the potassium permanganate?... in a rather pyrotechnic way?  the only downside(s) being that one must handle it gently while capping and then throwing it with as much power and as far as possible, away from oneself, toward... something...

it's just, you seem to know a bit about blowing things up... also, I have a 10' x 10' storage unit full of mothballs, 2,000 pounds of fertilizer, a big tank of diesel, a bunch of iron pipe, threading tools, some caps, and a whack of GOEX black powder initiating cord, that I just can't think what to do with... I'm thinking of listing them on Craiglist...

also, I just got a very nice large pot of pansies today - they're very bright and cheery and gay... all the colours of the rainbow, literally... and if you keep dead-heading them, they'll just keep flowering... but they don't explode.

Kiss kiss, bang bang
Sis
 
Reply with quote

By Sister Massively Opiated
4/25/2009, 10:30 pm




"The Truth About Tunguska"...
 
Reply with quote

By edgarinventor
4/29/2009, 3:30 pm


Sister Massively Opiated wrote
comrade edgarinventor,

are you at all familiar with the effects of a small amount of gasoline - about a 50 ml - coating the inside of a glass jug, to which a pinch of potassium permanganate is added, gently... the jug is then, gently, capped, and someone with a smooth 'arm' throws it, much like one would a football... gently... upon landing, the object absorbs, or is it discharges?... I guess is would be discharges, whatever stored kinetic energy it possesses as a result of being thrown (as far as possible... gently) and this, in turn, acts as a catalyst (forgive me... I believe this would be the correct term... I paid more attention to physics than chem in high school)... thereby creating a reaction between the minuscule amount of gasoline coating the inside of the jug, most of which has vaporized and mixed with the air inside, and the potassium permanganate?... in a rather pyrotechnic way?  the only downside(s) being that one must handle it gently while capping and then throwing it with as much power and as far as possible, away from oneself, toward... something...

it's just, you seem to know a bit about blowing things up... also, I have a 10' x 10' storage unit full of mothballs, 2,000 pounds of fertilizer, a big tank of diesel, a bunch of iron pipe, threading tools, some caps, and a whack of GOEX black powder initiating cord, that I just can't think what to do with... I'm thinking of listing them on Craiglist...

also, I just got a very nice large pot of pansies today - they're very bright and cheery and gay... all the colours of the rainbow, literally... and if you keep dead-heading them, they'll just keep flowering... but they don't explode.

Kiss kiss, bang bang
Sis



MARVELOUS! (Old Dracula movies line...)

I've a couple of ideas for the disposal of such a LOVELY peace-and-love dispenser!
To see your effect on a verbose European like me... I'm SPEECHLESS!

(note to myself...ALWAYS check the darn Notify me option...)
 
Reply with quote

By edgarinventor
4/29/2009, 3:38 pm


It has to be something that only exposes the potassium permanganate to the rest, after the projectile leaves the gun, hum...I'm thinking Binary shell, here, a compartment that breaks upon launch...

This notion and you, Comrade Sister Massively Opiated, will be on my thoughts, now...
 
Reply with quote

By edgarinventor
5/7/2009, 11:05 am


Comrade Sister Heavily Opiated, where are you?
Just found out a neat Link about Thermite,

http://www.pyroguide.com/index.php?title=Thermite

and yes, Thermite can be wrapped up in in a container with water, it seems it dissociates Hydrogen, and produces something called an "hellfire ball", now if only I find that Anarchist's cookbook, or what's it's name... Hum...

Of course, these ramblings of ours about Thermite are only for Education purposes, NOT to make on your backyard...  



 
Reply with quote

By Dr. Strangelove
5/14/2009, 1:41 am




I guess the pantload of revolution finally escaped.
 
Reply with quote

By Colonel 7.62
5/14/2009, 1:54 am


Dr. Strangelove wrote
I guess the pantload of revolution finally escaped.


I always thought it was too much cabbage soup myself... See prole food is bad for your health.
 
Reply with quote

By edgarinventor
5/21/2009, 1:08 pm


Revolution?
In the Great Britain Soviet Kingdom they're light years ahead!

They've asked my local Portuguese Investigation Police (Polícia Judiciária) )to search my house, this morning, for guns and explosives, and why?

Because I KNOW Phillip Luty, a definite thought-crime in there!

I TELLYA, THIS IS NO JOKE!

I know, by the Internet a guy that made a machine pistol, ergo, I made them, too!
Why don't I know Bill Gates?

Now I'm in the company of Michael Savage, as in to occured in the displeasure of those filthy limey scumbag Labour Party Soviets!
Only wish I would have the same value paychecks as Michael Savage...
 
Reply with quote

By edgarinventor
5/25/2009, 4:58 pm


Colonel 7.62 wrote
Dr. Strangelove wrote
I guess the pantload of revolution finally escaped.


I always thought it was too much cabbage soup myself... See prole food is bad for your health.


Prole food?

Man, I live in Portugal;
We eat REAL food, here, not obese stuffing Mac-Shit...

Pantload of revolution... Yeah, right, like talking about stuff real Terrorists will never use, 'cos they get the good stuff dead-easy, you could only  WISH they'd use spectacular contraptions so easy to spot...

But, no, they are low-key, pleasant, folk, the ordinary numbnuts always say afterwards, "I never could guessed he would do such a thing, HE SAID GOOD EVENING, AND STUFF..."

Are you scared I talk about these things?
Anything out of Intellectuals hissing highbrow platitudes, is too much of a bother?

Moderate me out, what the hell do I care! Razz
 
Reply with quote

By Red Square
5/25/2009, 6:37 pm


No need to get upset, Edgarinventor - the comrades were only discussing the concept of dirty bomb that can be prepared with any kind of food, prole or not.


 
Reply with quote

By edgarinventor
5/26/2009, 3:16 am


Ah, had enough of mind games - Life's not a game, at least not mine.
Have a nice life.

 
Reply with quote

By Colonel 7.62
5/26/2009, 3:25 am


Methinks Comrade Edgar is not happy with the collective.  Ahh that is well and good then.  Sooner or later he'll end up digging beets for someone somewhere.
 
Reply with quote

By Dr. Strangelove
5/26/2009, 3:57 am


I think Comrade Edgar needs a tune-up at Jiffi-Lobo™ followed by some Re-education and Re-programming (R&R) at the K. Marx Renewal Spa of the KMTC.

The funny thing is, I wasn't even responding to our gulagophile friend but was commenting on the Lenin statue.  I suppose I should have included the picture for reference, which I'll do now.
 
Reply with quote

Page 1 of 1  



  Username:    Password:      Log me on automatically each visit       
Protected by Anti-Spam ACP
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group
  
 

 

The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand



Write down this number and report to your Kommissar at the nearest railroad station.
Don't forget warm clothes and a shovel!
 
 
Stop Prosecution of the CIA!

Christmas & Healthcare Reform season classic:
It's a Wonderful Death!

NY Times, Newsweek offer editorial inoculations to concerned readers of Sarah Palin's book
Going Rogue: FEMA braces for massive outbreaks of Palin Derangement Syndrome
Following Fort Hood tragedy, Obama declares all military bases gun-free zones
Pelosi: we won.
Philies: so did we
Study: Global Warming linked to consumption of beans and beef patties








Pro-Obama gamers discover 'cheat codes' in U.S. Constitution
Police trained in using end of life counselingtechniques to negotiate suicide threats

Obama commits more troops to War on Fox News, still awaiting Afghan troop surge
Pass Rush: NFL okays Fidel Castro's bid to buy Miami Dolphins
Study: the road to hell paved with Nobel Peace Prizes

Obama wins Nobel Peace Prize. Wishing all our readers a Happy April First!


Roman Polanski named new School Safety Czar in wake of Jennings scandal
Charles Manson: 'Leave Polanski alone, hasn't he suffered enough?'


Obama loses Olympic bid, will try for Special Olympics next
Carter: if the IOC doesn't give the Olympics to Chicago, they're racists

Saudis: the word 'assassina- tion' will never be the same
Al Qaeda: 'We shove bombs up our butts'
Richard Gere denies Al Qaeda membership
Experts: assassin hid bomb in anal cavity adjacent to brain
Study: 90% of G20 protestors driven to Pittsburgh by mom

Ahmadinejad: Iran needs enriched uranium to purchase large IKEA sofa
Obama: If we don't bomb Iran now, we'll never pass healthcare reform
Taliban hires DC lobbyist in effort to get Obama's attention
Missile defense: Czechs angry at Obama for being canceled

Media study: Caucasian toddlers are more likely to cut eye-holes into "blankies"
Democrat strategist: 9 out of 10 white infants prefer cross burning over mother's milk
Mahmoud’s Liquidation Warehouse: 50% off Israel - this weekend only - it won’t last long

Obama: Black kids still forced to beat people up at back of bus
Charlie Gibson: Neil Armstrong went where?
Obamacare, it’s finger-licking good!

Ben and Jerry release 'Hate Monger Bigot' flavor to celebrate those who support traditional marriage
'Shiver me Timbers!': Somalia unveils People's Institute for Redistribution, Adventurism & Thalassic Extortion (PIRATE)
Energy Czar: to save energy, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off

buy this sticker

Other 49 states impose carbon tax on California due to wildfire smoke
Following Scotland's lead, US Justice Dept releases Charles Manson, citing battle with chronic hemorrhoids
Obama to media: Please respect our girls' privacy, especially Mr. Letterman
Teachable moment: Obama to hold 'beer summit' between offended Post Office and UPS
Taliban sends protesters to Afghan town hall meetings in attempt to get Obama administration to withdraw

Gotham villains working for the Common Good™

White House recalibrates description of town hall protesters from 'terrorists' to 'man-made Nazi fascist pigs'
Experts: when buying Astroturf, remember to look for the Union Label
National-socialist health care?

Drudge insulates self from White House anger by naming his site MoveOn.Drudge
ABC greenlights epic 12-part miniseries based on Beer Summit

Moveon.org petitions Dems to leave Bush/Cheney alone and 'move on to pressing issues facing the nation'
Palin: Critics ipso facto are quitters
Honduran ex-president Zelaya holds press- conference, presents birth certificate for examination
Cambridge: fighting racial bias, Obama picks black scholar Henry Louis Gates as Door Jigging Czar
Obama: white cop acted like inexperienced rookie, but being one I may be biased
On the international front: Obama brings back Cold War, switches sides
Signs of recovery: WH study finds number of searches for 'economic depression' on Google lower than it could have been under FDR
Obama inherited broken teleprompter from
George W Bush
Zelaya: we support the democratically-elected President of the USA, even though he has strongly opposed American policies
Eco group 'Earth First' protests burying non- biodegradeable body of Michael Jackson under the ground
Study: Media orgasm over Michael Jackson's death oddly appropriate
SPONSORED BY:

Secretary of the Interior vows to turn Neverland Ranch into 'King of Pop' National Monument
Riots in Iran: Obama invokes Starfleet Prime Directive - non-interference with social development of native planet even at the cost of own life
Obama hurts a fly, forgets to read Miranda rights
ACLU: fly murder by slapping unconstitutional

Obama mistakes Inspector General for a private CEO, orders him to resign
DHS simplifies procedures, cuts learning curve, renames all terrorism 'right-wing'
Earth may collide with Venus in 3.5 billion years. We must act NOW!!!
CBS study: statutory rape jokes not as hilarious as previously thought
White House tree commits suicide over economic policy

Obama: 'I inherited this tree from George W. Bush'
Obama to economy: 'make like a tree and collapse'
In Cairo, Obama promotes shovel-ready projects for Muslim communities

Obama's comment linking Islam to algebra sets off anti-Islam riots in US inner-city schools
Keith Olbermann rises to #1 on Larry Craig's 'Top ten liberals I'd like to sodomize' list

Ahmadinejad hands out potatoes to corner Irish-Iranian vote
Lady Justice undergoes extreme makeover on TV, becomes sexier, more empathetic, less blind

visit our new Che Heart store

Obama: "We must work to rid the world of nuclear weapons and of Israel too while we're at it"
Obama to impose a cap on temperatures for patients in government-subsidized hospitals
Brady Campaign to Prevent Cereal Violence applauds gov't crackdown on cheerios, calls for registration of cereal bowls
buy this sticker

Obama's rich supporters chagrined to find he's a class worrior and not the cynical hypocrite they'd counted on
Congress nationalizes DeBeers, changes marketing slogan to 'government programs are forever'
Sen. Specter: 'we could be energy-independent by now if Republicans invested in eternal engine research'
Kentucky Derby winner admits to having no specific strategy: I just kept repeating 'hope' and 'change' and I won... wow!

Never waste a good crisis: Obama uses swine flu epidemic to put a mask on Joe Biden

Study: exposure to pork- barrel projects heightens risk of catching swine flu
Islamic scholars green-light use of government pork by Muslim groups: 'not haram'

DHS Napolitano's preferred man-made disaster color warnings: chocolate, vanilla, strawberry

Dow Jones rally prompted by record sales of tea bags on April 15
WH: Obama's handshake with Saudi King looked like a bow as King Abdullah's arms are twice as long as human arms but atrophy prevents use

DHS tip on spotting a right- wing extremist: watch out for the one carrying a paycheck
Opposed to teabagging, Pelosi accepts motion to expel Congressperson Barney Frank
Spring cleaning tip: don't forget to change your scientific consensus from winter setting "climate change" to summer setting "global warming"

Obama uses old Bush-era teleprompter for Baghdad speech
Segway and GM launch a
2-wheeled contraceptive
Obama's stern reaction to North Korea missile launch: "I'm tellin'!"
Lenin laughs ass off over crisis in capitalism

Scientists: Lenin statue expelled no harmful gases, only dialectical materialism
Obama gives Queen a shovel




click here

NBC: We are all Special Olympians now, especially Olbermann
Obama's teleprompter caught moonlighting as AmEx spokesperson: 'Don’t leave home without it'

click here for the story

Alabama gunman was trying to 'be more like Europeans'
After shootings, EU threatens potential mass murderes with increased paperwork and red tape
Oil prices rising; most viable solution is blame Limbaugh
Obama to bring Cuba in from the cold; political prisoners to remain outside
Healthcare crisis: Planned Parenthood forced to offer 2 abortions for the price of 1; 50% off if you refer a friend

Hillary presents Russian Foreign Minister Lavrov with the People's Cube


CLICK HERE FOR THE STORY


Obama's Reaganesque address: "I've just declared peace on the Soviet Union. The bonging will start in five minutes"
Satellite launched to confirm global warming: finds none, crashes in Antarctica in protest
Al-Qaeda founder discovers DNC playbook, attacks own side in war an terror
Obama to slash deficit after increase; firefighters to quench house after setting fire to it


view larger

Treasury Dept buys Monopoly board game for policy advice
Democrats pay back their constituents, save faltering squeegee businesses from collapsing


Muslim group offended by pork hidden in stimulus package, threatens revenge
Obama appoints guilt czar to oversee fair distribution of guilt among all Americans
Size matters: stimulus package so big it won't even fit on Drudge
No help from Obama to storm-ravaged Kentucky; officials consider renaming state to New Orleans in effort to get attention
Politico: volcano trouble in Alaska a result of Palin's policies
MoveOn adopts Bush's cowboy diplomacy: 'You're either with Obama or Rush'
Obama urges liberals to start listening to Rush Limbaugh: 'all too often we start by dictating on issues and don't always know all the factors involved. So let's listen.'

More bad economic news: area antiwar group lays off its bumper sticker makers
Dissent no longer patriotic: Obama
Reminder to Hollywood celebrities: must change 'patriotic' setting from 'hate America' to 'love America' on Jan. 20

Obama promises to Photoshop a better future for America

You won't be told lies if you don't ask questions: Obama's new media policy
Personals: senate seats available in NY & Il. Hardly ever used. Cash OK.


Change we can believe in: Clinton 1990s staffers
Somali pirates hijack international space station

Starting with 11/5/08, the cor- rect progressive greeting in America is "Barack Obama!" The reply is "Obama Barack!"
Laika the Space Dog consi- dered for new White House pet: "Thoroughly vetted by Bill Ayers"


CHANGE: President-elect Obama crushes Yankee imperialism in a landslide





Seven Obama cousins found living in voting booth



US choppers attack ACORN voter registration center in Syria
US military: We decided to strike now because this time next year we’ll be a Peace Keeping force

Biden predicts severe test for Obama in first six months: another question from Joe the Plumber
Obama: Let he who is without wealth cash the first check!

Joe Biden: work is a four-letter word


FBI investigates Mickey Mouse Club for voter fraud
Embarrassed ACORN accidentally registers 'Ronald Reagan'

Kids' hymns to Obama a success of Democrat strategy: If you can't abort them, indoctrinate them
World to USA: 'Fix world ecomonic crisis so we can get back to hating you'

Obama's campaign invites opponents to play 'Truth or Jail'
Biden: Hoover text-messaged Americans to calm fears during 1929 crash
Dead support Obama, all are registered to vote by ACORN
Biden calls taxes patriotic
Study: Jesus spoke without a telepromter

Obama promises free lipstic for everybody if elected
KARAOKE: These Are The Jerks We Call Journalists

Obama's negotiations with Gustav prove fruitful; storm spares "French Quarter"
Feminist group: Sarah Palin worst mother since June Cleaver; decried as "too feminine"
Obama: leave Bristol alone, she has been punished enough with a baby
Putin shoots tiger with Polonium-laced dart
Obama: ready from day one to place a call to UN if a US city is nuked
Cult of personality at the People's Cube is up 90% compared to previous Five-Year Plan
Congress established windfall tax on US gold medals
International Olympic Committee to redistribute Phelp's ill-gotten golds to less fortunate athletes

Obama beats Hillary to coveted CPUSA endorsement
February 2050 declared White History Month. Future headlines expected to read "Minorities hardest hit... and deservedly so."
Obama denounces Russia's actions; humbled Russia sends self to Gulag
US trade deficit dropped; NYT instructs readers to turn paper upside down for more favorable view of graph
Sharpton protests disproportionate deaths of Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes, calls for immediate deaths of David Letterman and Billy Joel to even score
Science to unveil invisible cloak; Conservative White Christian male in NJ says he's been invisible for years
NYT: Russia's invasion of Georgia leaves much smaller carbon footprint than US invasion of Iraq
Larry the Cable Guy issues call to "man the pick up trucks" as Russia invades Georgia
Edwards claims he was having affair with camera, didn't notice woman attached




Chavez's parents cut off Hugo's credit card after Moscow shopping binge
Oil industry to Pelosi: You've been given a brain. Use it or lose it.
Congress to declare July 19th International Swimmers' Day


buy a T-shirt

How many superdelegates does it take to change a lightbulb?

Photoshopped Iranian missile saves 25% on Islamic Republic's carbon footprint


Word of the day:
HUSSIES n. Female Obama supporters changing their middle names to Hussein
Obama: we have always been at peace with Hillary Clinton
Grand Rapids Mayor George Heartwell vows city will be "vanilla" when rebuilt
Media grows impatient with Iowa's lack of flood-related rapes and pillaging: Why can't they be more like New Orleans?
Lou the Looter In Iowa
CNN investigates Iowans caught blowing FEMA debit cards at Tractor Supply Company
Obama: WTC problem ended on 9/11, Pentagon still a problem
Hillary supporters organize against Obama

Janet Reno congratulates Elian Gonzalez on joining Cuba's Young Communists

Elian Gonzales - my kid is a Communist Party Honor Student
Dick Durbin denies that being Hell's spokesperson and moonlighting as a Democrat Senator presents a conflict of interest
Flooding in Iowa causes typical white people to turn bitter and cling to evacuation procedures
Democrat energy policy: let them eat cake
Monica Lewinsky endorses Obama: 'This is not the Bill Clinton I knew'
NASA unveils 'ass-crack' space suit for plumbing repairs at int'l space station




Dead people at Obama's rally identified as a renegade splinter group of Hillary's 'invisible Americans'
Howard Dean: dead people will vote Democrat no matter who gets the nomination

Mainstream media silent on increased attacks on US troops by mainstream media
Sen. Kennedy under treatment. Mary Jo still dead

Muanmar drafts Mayor Nagin and Gov. Blanco to help with cyclone clean up
New Orleans Mayor sends school buses to Myanmar
As Darfur violence surges, world vows not to give a crap unless the US gets involved
Chinese citizens crushed by bricks and rubble; tanks have day off

buy T-shirt

Friendly fire: BBC office hit by al-Qaeda rocket
Al Gore knows what caused Burma cyclone but won't say it
International community promises to suspend anti- Americanism until after American aid reaches Burma
Mainstream media saddened that Austrian pedophile isn't a Catholic priest, a Baptist minister, or a GOP senator



North Korea's nuclear technicians protest outsourcing jobs to Syria
Earth Day: save the planet, starve the children!

Focus group: if water boarding was a sexual preference, they'd be teaching it in public schools

Study: Wall Street losses unfairly target the rich

Mixed month for MTV: teen pregnancy drops, however STDs are on the rise
Obama pledges to give every typical small town family a possum sandwich
Delays at American Airlines: a sneak peak into proposed government healthcare

Stop and smell the Sharpies

Obama: baby is punishment; tax increase is bundle of joy

Media: this year's Global Bad News Awareness week to overlap with International Good News Obliviousness month
NPR journalists go on truckers-style protest over high price of lattes
Most popular April Fools joke: "A Democrat president won't raise taxes"


Obama denounced extreme statements in Osama's new tape but urged voters to listen to the entire message before making judgment
Obama's speech calls for change in stereotyping "the typical White person"
Spitzer denies applying hardball tactics in front of bathroom mirror and threatening to come after himself
New York State House retires Spitzer's #9 jersey
KKK endorses Harvard's gym segregation policy: 'Blacks and Jews are next'
London quake caused by SUV, now impounded by Scotland Yard
Hillary's healthcare plan to include smelling salts for Obama's supporters and mandatory amputation of Chris Matthews' leg
USMail Service to publish Obama's resume on new stamp
Obama: one man's plagiarism is another man's audacity
Candidate Barry O'Bama to court Irish vote
Berkeley ousting US Marines gives hope to al Qaeda: 'If hippies can do it, so can we!'
Berkley builds wall around self; man trying to flee 'Peace Sanctuary City' shot at checkpoint
John McCain apologizes for going to Vietnam, earns Jane Fonda's endorsement
To avoid scorn and ridicule, Tom Cruise converts to Islam
NY Times: Backward, close-minded, inbred southern hicks vote for Obama

NY Times: All the news that's fit to pimp
Dems offer first female for President, first Black for President, first pretty pony for Attorney General
Brokeback Mountain loses climber
NASA's Spirit Rover finds Dennis Kucinich campaign on Mars

Las Vegas: candidates offer plans to bail out flustered gamblers
Feds: subprime borrowers' relief package to include subprime rib
Silence in Cuba: Castro too ill to speak in public, Cubans too afraid to speak
Dems adopt old British "don't mention the war" strategy for '08 campaign

Obama's 'Take a penny, leave a penny' economic plan sparks new hope

Obama's campaign hires homeless people to talk about change on street corners

Panhandlers Union endorses Obama's plan for change

Al Gore's children receive carbon credits for Winter Solstice Holiday
Democrats call for troop surge in the War on Bush
Murtha: if we quit now, capitalism will win

Pelosi declares she likes class war, pledges to stay the course
Expert blames Republicans for not attacking all Democrat candidates equally
High school Meth teacher starts new class

Holy Mitt!
Violence in Iraq down 60%; media stories reporting this down 6000%
Imus covers all bases by hiring undocumented-Black- Jewish-homeless- transgendered-vegan- disabled-obese-Kartina- victim as a sidekick
Poll: most Muslims find curvature of Riemannian manifolds offensive
"How The Grinch Redistributed Winter Solstice" opens on Broadway
Left-wing bloggers hold vigil hoping suspect is connected to GOP candidate
Hostage situation expected to be politicized in the next 20 minutes
"Mall security" takes over operations in Baghdad
New study suggests that 1 US gallon of Latte is 170 times more expensive than 1 US gallon of Regular gasoline.
Al Gore sterilizes self to protect planet: 'Having children is selfish'
NY Times: some news is fitter to print than others

Study: most Americans will be worried about economy if told so often enough
Musharraf changes name to Chavez to avoid being called "dictator" by MSM and Democrats in US Congress
Media changes old adage "no news is good news" to "no good news is news"
US Congress extends hurricane season until the first Sunday in November
Lack of bad news from Iraq causes media recession. Women and minority journalists hardest hit.
LA Times drops term "wild" describing fire, uses "undocumented" fire instead
USA Today: big fires are getting bigger, small fires are getting smaller
Reid: Global Warming caused fire by overheating arsonist's head, provoking delusional paranoia
MoveOn.org pressures Congress to stop fighting fire and bring firemen home

Reid: The war on fire is lost
Pelosi: The number of fires has gone up since we started fighting fire
Kerry: If you don't do well in school you'll get stuck fighting fire in California
NY Times: Fighting fire creates even more fires
Harry Reid auctions clothes, furniture, car on eBay in effort to make millions off his name. "If Limbaugh can do it so can I." No takers so far.
Princess Leia Organa presents the Alderaanian Medal of Honor to Al Gore
Did Che Guevara descend from Prophet Mohammed?

San Andreas Fault in California preemptively renamed George Bush's Fault
Media Matters editor blows self up over Limbaugh's 'bomber' remark
End of Ramadan brings new rioting season to France
Harry Reid bangs shoe on table: "We will bury you!"
Dutch follow Ahmadinejad's lead, declare "there are no dykes in Holland"

Ahmadinejad to Amerika: "Don't tase me, bro!"

Bomb Girl and Taser Boy sell rights to their characters to Marvel Comics
Cindy Sheehan hires Bomb Girl and Taser Boy as image consultants

CBS stands by firing of Dan Rather: "He couldn't tell our logo from a hole in the ground"
Jessie Jackson on Obama: "too White." Obama on Jackson: "I'm a smoke dat biatch if I see him"

Tasered victim at John Kerry's speech to receive Purple Heart
Mugabe blames Zimbabwe's meltdown on Global Warming


To stomp out possible confusion, MSM changes spelling of Obama to Ubama
Craving acceptance from liberals, General Petraeus gains 300lbs and debuts report at Cannes.
George Soros stops funding Democrats, converts to Islam
Edwards: 41% of American children don't have lawyers
John Edwards proposes "single payer" trial lawyer insurance for all, mandatory pre-jurisprudence care
Illegal aliens kill people Americans won't kill
Democrats select 2008 presidential slogan:
"Death to America"

Larry "Happy Feet" Craig uses Michael Flatley's Riverdance defense
"Americans Coming Together" admit they had timing issues
Presbyterian clergy issue fatwah calling for Pope's death
New Jersey teen cracked iPhone with his face

Vick awaits doggie-style welcome in prison

Rock star behaves like rap star: huge media outcry
China's recall of defective Daily Kos bloggers causes suicides among Democrat strategists
Al Gore to recall the Internet


Media declares September National Bridge Awareness Month
First New Orleans, now Minnesota: Anderson Cooper travels up the Mississippi without a paddle
Ray Nagin pledges to build a chocolate bridge instead

William Jefferson spotted under collapsed bridge retrieving mystery package

Cannibalism, rape, looting, republicanism rampant in Minneapolis
Lindsay Lohan to enter astronaut training program
Nigeria's plan to nationalize local spam industry sparks massive riots in Lagos


Democrat Congress's two major victories: minimum wage increase and al-Qaeda's restored operating capability

London Mayor Livingston mandates Sharia law at nightclubs to prevent further bombings
Taliban spokesman blames media bias as civilian deaths from US air strikes grab headlines: "Taliban has murdered thousands of civilians and we can't even get mentioned on Countdown with Olbermann. What gives?"

Back alley massage parlors now offering "better ending than Sopranos"
Bush to close Gitmo, detainees released into Mexican custody to be put on fast track to US citizenship

click me

Study: Dan rather still unable to tell the difference between Paris Hilton and Katie Couric
Civil war in Gaza: if it's not in Iraq why report it?
US media increasingly impatient at lack of civil war in Iraq
US Embassy in Syria warns of sex attacks. So how long will Bill be visiting for?
Delighted Dems: "The surge has failed!"
MSM spokesman: There are no civil war clashes in Gaza!

Palestinians still wonder why their real civil war can't knock Iraq "civil war" off the front page
As Albanians welcome Bush and show love for USA, NY Times offers them free subscriptions to "solve problem"

Paris gets out of jail faster than an illegal immigrant

Socialist utopia takes foothold in Venezuela as water cannons salute victory
Pelosi: "I've seen climate change." John Fogerty of CCR also wants to know "if she's ever seen rain"
Democrats call for troop withdrawal from Jersey
Harry Reid: "Troop presence in New Jersey creating more terrorists"
French riot police deployed as open minded, tolerant socialists expected to react to election results
Progressives concerned with Sarkozy's "extremist agenda " of rule of law and assimilation to French culture

Dems: War needs deadline; only social policies can run indefinitely

Sheryl Crow to wipe out global warming one butt at a time

Va Tech lessons for MSM: must ban guns, rich kids
ACLU calls for calm, fears backlash against innocent gun owners: 'all gun owners aren't terrorists'
Liberal groups join gun tolerance and awareness workshops
Gun owners converting to Islam in droves to ward off profiling
Sharp jump in number of 'non-decapitated' babies following Supreme Court decision
Sharpton makes a list of 57 Don Imus sympathizers on public airwaves
Al Gore and John Kerry agree: people who live in greenhouses should not expel noxious gases

Al Gore hired by K-Y to pro-
mote Global Warming Jelly

New study shows Earth's 'fever' contagious; Mars asks planets to kick 'Greenhouse Mary' out of solar system

Schumer demands Karl Rove be indicted on 1976 parking ticket
Al Qaeda reacts to Schumer attack: "Thank Allah we're not Republicans!"
Dems: Khalid Sheik Mohamed just watched too many episodes of 24 and made all that stuff in his confession up
Fitzgerald to prosecute Ann Coulter for disclosing identity of presidential candidate John Edwards
Following Scooter Libby success, media demands journalists be included on all future juries
Kent State professor calls for bin Laden victory: time to bring in the National Guard again?
Hollywood to America: our moral issues are better than your moral issues
Obama promises to "purge himself" if he loses to Hillary to spare the public a lengthy trial

House vote: Insurgents react with non-binding IED
Democrat leaders don't support terrorists but they support their mission

North Korea agrees to nuclear disarmament, media hails Madeleine Albright
Bush: I support Democrat majority - but not their mission

Is it time for Pinochet yet?

see CITGO think HUGO CHAVEZ

Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History

Our Comrades:

Professor Kurgman
kathy blog
Dicklist
WHYGRR
Bush Is Hitler
Julia Gorin
Brain Terminal
Antiprotester
Cox and Forkum
The Ministry of Truth
Scrappleface
Zombietime
FAQster
AWOL Civilization
Fit-To-Print News
Conservative Punk
BestObamaFacts.com
Looking at the Left
I Own The World
Maksim Maksimovich
Red Planet Cartoons
Miss Kitty
Bunny News Network