Sing for Change chronicles a recent Sunday afternoon, when children, on their own will, gathered to sing original songs in the belief that their singing would lift up our communities for the coming election. Light, hope, courage and love shine through these nonvoting children who believe that their very best contribution to the Obama campaign is to sing.
This music video embodies the nature of the Obama campaign: its grassroots inspiration, its inclusiveness, its community building. The willingness of all was a testament to our hope, unity, courage, joy and belief in the future represented by these children.
~ We are offering the video to everyone, the Obama campaign and all media with high hopes that we can all join together to Sing for Change.
Ushanka tip to the always vigilant Red Squirrel who posted the ingredients on her blog, the silent majority.
WE'RE GONNA CHANGE THE WORLD Music and lyrics by Lily Campbell, age 9
We're gonna spread happiness
We're gonna spread freedom
Obama's gonna change it
Obama's gonna lead 'em
We're gonna change it
And rearrange it
We're gonna change the world.
SING FOR CHANGE Music and lyrics by Kathy Sawada
Now's the moment, lift each voice to sing
Sing with all your heart!
For our children, for our families,
Nations all joined as one.
Sing for joy and sing abundant peace,
Courage, justice, hope!
Sing together, hold each precious hand,
Lifting each other up;
Sing for vision, sing for unity,
Lifting our hearts to Sing!
YES WE CAN Music and lyrics by Kathy Sawada
Yes we can
Lift each other up
In peace, in love, in hope
Change! Change!
Exceptionally glorious music, comrades! Definitely got that progressive tingle progressing down my leg, that's for sure. This one got the same tingle running like a lackey dog down my other one:
We can change the world
rearrange the world
it's dying - we'll give you social justice
dying - we'll tell you what is "freedom"
dying - we'll tell you how to live your own life
dying - rules and regulations, who needs them?
open up the gulag
Twinkle Twinkle Obama's Red Star,
Hammer and Sickle that's what you are
Up above the world the world so high
My Lord and Savior, my life to die
Twinkle Twinkle Obama's Red Star
You're our Living Exemplar.
Twinkle Twinkle Obama's Red Star,
Hammer and Sickle that's what you are
Up above the world the world so high
My Lord and Savior, my life to die
Twinkle Twinkle Obama's Red Star
You're our Living Exemplar.
AAAAAAHHHHHHMEEEEEENNNNNN and women....
Thanks alot Comrade....now I'l never get sleep at night, the tingling must stop!
Dear Comrades. Our beloved Uncle Adoph has a show, which again has to bring tear to a eye. (in case of difficulty producing tear, my orderly Vasily will help ).
"Unlcle Adolph's Sexy National Socialist Girls" hitting world by storm!
Exceptionally glorious music, comrades! Definitely got that progressive tingle progressing down my leg, that's for sure. This one got the same tingle running like a lackey dog down my other one:
MalakalikObama is the thing they say
On a bright new dawning of the golden way
That's the future greeting that we send to you
from the leader who will have his day!
You will see that the future will be green and bright
The moon by day and the sun at night
Malaka leek Obama is the Party's way
to say Hope and Change to you!
"MalakalikObama is the thing they say
On a bright new dawning of the golden way
That's the future greeting that we send to you
from the leader who will have his day!
You will see that the future will be green and bright
The moon by day and the sun at night
Malaka leek Obama is the Party's way
to say Hope and Change to you! "
- The Pass The Kool-Aid Club
I asked my orderly Vasily to punch me in the face, to get me out of trance.....
I can't get these songs out of me head..........
Well, there's is always an alternative remedy....
One song comes to mind, excitedly, when Comrade Obama takes to the stage and the tingles begin. I'm instantly reminded of the song in the Capitalist TV show, Simpsons.
Lullaby, and good night
In the sky stars and sickles are bright
Close your eyes, start to yawn
Pleasant dreams of glorious mother Omerica until the dawn.
Close your eyes now and rest
Lay your non race gender specific head on my community breast
Go to sleep now, the eight years of Bush Administration are over, now rest
May your slumber, in Obama, be blessed
Sexist hate speech! What could that person possibly know about the views of minority women?
Comrade, if women are minority why are there more of them than men?
Confused member of proletariat.
My Dear Confused Comrade,
Never let facts intrude into the Current TruthTM. They just cause, as you have aptly noted, confusion. Facts may also promote dangerous activities like thinking, which is why our bullet pocked walls are frequently decorated with the cerebral residue of intellectuals who caused distress and confusion among the masses.
Let not your mind be troubled; just keep up with today's truth and you'll be fine - and alive.
So many years I can't be sure, but singing Obama Youth sound very much like songs of stormtroopers as they burned the village near Riga in 1944.
Alles hat ein Ende außer einem wiener, der zwei hat.
So many years I can't be sure, but singing Obama Youth sound very much like songs of stormtroopers as they burned the village near Riga in 1944.
Alles hat ein Ende außer einem wiener, der zwei hat.
In 1966 the girls used to sing this obama tribute on the community school bus as we wended our way to "Christopher Columbus the exploiter of Native Americans Junior High School" in decadent San Fernando Valley:
(sung to the tune of "the name game")
"Bama Bama Bo Bama"
"Banana Mana Mo Mamma"
"Fee-Fi-Fo-Fama"
"Ba-a-a-a-ma"
In 1966 the girls used to sing this obama tribute on the community school bus as we wended our way to "Christopher Columbus the exploiter of Native Americans Junior High School" in decadent San Fernando Valley:
(sung to the tune of "the name game")
"Bama Bama Bo Bama"
"Banana Mana Mo Mamma"
"Fee-Fi-Fo-Fama"
"Ba-a-a-a-ma"
Ya'll realize of cose that you is diparaging my current State of Residence and the Crimson Tide of Alabama.
Dearest Guardian, I think you have me confused with the Canadian Crooner and liberal busybody Neil Young, who not only told Alabama that they had "the rest of the union to help them along", but also seemed to think that Richard NiKKKxon personally shot all those students at Kent State. I wonder if he ever wrote a song for Obama the Savior? For that matter, I wonder if he knows he's not an American?
I spied the actor Michael York at the beginning of that video. I had such a huge crush on him in high school, that I actually sat through the cornball Logan's Run more than once just to drool over him.
That said, I think I have an idea as to where people should wear their assigned Obama emblems in the New Obamareich: They should be implanted in the palm of the hand. The implanted O's will flash and blink should a thoughtcrime against the Obamessiah be committed, and all flashers will report to the Carousel better known as the Great or Giant O.
I'd like to think that while my erstwhile love for Michael York went unrequited, at least it wasn't wasted.
"Obama loves me,this I know...for the msm tells me so!".........continue the lyrics for me comrades
(off)
Obama loves me this I know, for the msm tells me so,
Our change to him belong, our spending's weak, his is strong.
. . . to the White House he will go, but to the street, we will go.
. . .if elected we are f@#$ed, all our money, he will suck (sorry for the language)
. . .from Iraq we will have left, Al Queda, our escape is death.
. . . save the planet from the heat, our freedoms left to elites.
I have to say, this music moved me in a way I've never been moved before.
(off)
Anyone else get the feeling, while listening to this, the sense of a brainwashing machine and cracks and whips?
That's a wonderful start,comrades....but i would like to change the first verse to Ms. Pinkie's version......Obama loves me this i know for HIS WEBSITE TELLS ME SO! This sounds better and is much more personal. This way we can all feel like we have a personal relationship w/ our Saviour...The Obamessiah. Sing,comrades....sing of his glory!
I'm not in a good position to rhyme, which is weird, I'm usually good about that. Anyhow though, thank you sirThingies. I agree too, I'd prefer a much closer relationship with the Obamasiah.
That said, I think I have an idea as to where people should wear their assigned Obama emblems in the New Obamareich....
Thanks for the link. I especially liked the "Women for Obama" design -
But I think it misses some of the more obvious ideas:
And I could go on, but it's late and I'm tired - in particular, of listening of the nauseating praise of Sarah Palin's perfornance in the debate. As a life-long feminist, I'd like to ask: am I the only lover of women who is offended by her appalling intellectual and emotional monstrosity?
I thought this idea deserved some further development... Should I post this in the right-hand column or do you think it will be a bad taste to do that?
Damnit. More KoolAid drinkers (especially the first militaristic prepubescent; he looks like he's had more than his share of laced sugar water with colors).
I thought this idea deserved some further development... Should I post this in the right-hand column or do you think it will be a bad taste to do that?
I dunno, comrade, you could also make it "Busty Trailer Trash for Obama" if the first one is too tasteless.
Damnit. More KoolAid drinkers (especially the first militaristic prepubescent; he looks like he's had more than his share of laced sugar water with colors).
Hahahaha. . . I like the KoolAid joke, but I don't get it, so please enlighten me comrade.
I thought this idea deserved some further development... Should I post this in the right-hand column or do you think it will be a bad taste to do that?
I dunno, comrade, you could also make it "Busty Trailer Trash for Obama" if the first one is too tasteless.
A "Beet of the Week" to whosoever dareth to make it a "camel's toe" to represent "Skanks for Obama."
Damnit. More KoolAid drinkers (especially the first militaristic prepubescent; he looks like he's had more than his share of laced sugar water with colors).
Hahahaha. . . I like the KoolAid joke, but I don't get it, so please enlighten me comrade.
This from Wikipedia:
"Drinking the Kool-Aid"
The earliest known use of the term in its figurative, non-literalcontext (that is, outside descriptions of people actually drinking realKool-Aid), is from a 1987 quote about former Washington, D.C., mayorMarion Barry in the Washington Post.
The term is derived from the 1978 cult suicide in Jonestown, Guyana. Jim Jones, the leader of the Peoples Temple,persuaded his followers to move to Jonestown. Late in the year heordered his followers to commit suicide by drinking grape-flavored Flavor Aid laced with potassium cyanide. A camera from inside the compound shows a large chest being opened, clearly showing boxes of both Flavor Aid and Kool-Aid. There is also testimony from criminal investigators at the Jonestown inquest stating that there were "cool aid" [sic] packets there. It is unknown whether these are a reference to the
Kool-aid
brand packets from the trunk, or simply a generic use of the morepopular brand for the product. In what is now commonly called the "Jonestown Massacre", a large majority of the 913 people later found dead drank the brew. (The discrepancy between the idiomand the actual occurrence is likely due to Flavor Aid's relativeobscurity,compared to the easily recognizable Kool-Aid.) An earlierusage than 1987 can be attested at least as early as 1982 in the film "The Slumber Party Massacre" by
Amy Holden Jones
. In the scene where Valerie 'Val' Bates prepares Kool-Aid, she offers a glass to her sister and says "As the famous Jim Jones once said: 'should have been drinking Kool-Aid'".
The saying "Do not drink the Kool-Aid" now commonly refers to theJonestown tragedy, meaning "Do not trust any group you find to be alittle on the kooky side," or "Whatever they tell you, do not believeit too strongly." Fox News commentator Bill O'Reilly is famous for using the term in this manner.
Having "drunk the Kool-Aid" also refers to being a strong or ferventbeliever in a particular philosophy or mission — wholeheartedly orblindly believing in its virtues.
At first glance, I thought it was a video from the Corpulent Mujahideen Army. Imagine my relief when they turned out to be only our comrades in the Obamajugen!
Dearest Guardian, I think you have me confused with the Canadian Crooner and liberal busybody Neil Young, who not only told Alabama that they had "the rest of the union to help them along",
I hope Neil Young will remember, a southern man don't need him around anyhow.
As to our rythmically inclined camoflage-clad political activists, what the Hell have you idiots been doing since 1964? Dr. King opened the gate for you, guys. If you've been sitting around waiting for Obama to inspire you, well, exactly how dull are you? You need Obama to inspire you to be an auto technician? What the fool did you aspire to be before he showed up?
Dearest Guardian, I think you have me confused with the Canadian Crooner and liberal busybody Neil Young, who not only told Alabama that they had "the rest of the union to help them along",
I hope Neil Young will remember, a southern man don't need him around anyhow.
As to our rythmically inclined camoflage-clad political activists, what the Hell have you idiots been doing since 1964? Dr. King opened the gate for you, guys. If you've been sitting around waiting for Obama to inspire you, well, exactly how dull are you? You need Obama to inspire you to be an auto technician? What the fool did you aspire to be before he showed up?
How dare you, Betinov. HOW DARE YOU!
Sure Dr. King opened the gate, but it's been blocked since then by over 40 years of racist Republican repression.
All of us, black and white, are NOTHING without Obama! He will make something out of all of us! Betinov, open your eyes and see the Light, the Truth, the Glory, the Hope, yea, the Salvation that can only come from acknowledging Him as our one and only Savior who will rescue us from the darkness of the past 8 years. Oh, and also the darkness of the 1980's.
Until Obama came along, I had no hope. I didn't want to be anything. I wasn't the least bit proud to be American, I wasn't proud of anything. But Obama has changed that! Yes, He has changed that! I've been so down and depressed by the illegal, immoral war in Iraq, the failed policies of the Bush Administration, and the bloody, wholesale genocide of the Polar Bears, that I have been full of despair and devoid of hope. With nothing else to cling to, I got down on my knees and said, "Obama, if you're out there, help me. Heal me. Lift me up!" And do you know what? Just like that, He entered my heart and my soul, and filled me to overflowing with His B.S.* and now I believe!
Get down on your knees, Betinov, and repent while you still can. While there's still time. Oh, wait, you don't have any knees. Well, I'm sure there must be an Obama emblem just for brains in jars, too. Won't you be their standard bearer, Betinov? Won't you support and organize a community of Party Organ Donors for Obama?
Comrades, did anyone notice when the Obama Youth sing one of their songs, the second line says "we're gonna spread freedom"? Could it be one of these songwriters is a covert Imperialist NeoCon?
Dearest Guardian, I think you have me confused with the Canadian Crooner and liberal busybody Neil Young, who not only told Alabama that they had "the rest of the union to help them along",
I hope Neil Young will remember, a southern man don't need him around anyhow.
As to our rythmically inclined camoflage-clad political activists, what the Hell have you idiots been doing since 1964? Dr. King opened the gate for you, guys. If you've been sitting around waiting for Obama to inspire you, well, exactly how dull are you? You need Obama to inspire you to be an auto technician? What the fool did you aspire to be before he showed up?
How dare you, Betinov. HOW DARE YOU!
Sure Dr. King opened the gate, but it's been blocked since then by over 40 years of racist Republican repression.
All of us, black and white, are NOTHING without Obama! He will make something out of all of us! Betinov, open your eyes and see the Light, the Truth, the Glory, the Hope, yea, the Salvation that can only come from acknowledging Him as our one and only Savior who will rescue us from the darkness of the past 8 years. Oh, and also the darkness of the 1980's.
Does that mean us Indians are out? Where's the line for the Shovel Brigade? Oh my Wounded Knee.
Guardian of Pravda, you have not been forgotten. But you are no longer an Indian or even a Native American. The Current Truth is you are a First American.
Ah the Parables of the Book of Obama. New Testifiying Section.
I don't know if the code of the IC will allow the Black and White and Red all over. It will probably have to be re-written. In Obama English.
Oh, the possibilities--patches for Obama Youth uniforms. Commemorative collector's plates from the Franklin Mint and Bradford Exchange. Coasters for your beer.
Wreaths for the front door, so everyone will know what kind of aggrieved group of victims for Obama reside there. In fact, the Obama O will become the new sign language. Instead of a sign that says, "Plumber" it'll just be the "Plumbers for Obama" emblem. All of us will communicate in the language of the Obama emblem.
Tokens for government benefits and vending machines.
The new U.S. Obamerican currency: We'll do away with Dollars and Cents, and live on Hope and Change.
Greetings Comrades! After reading the posts here today, I was 1) inspired to join this Glorious and Progressive commune, and 2) go out and get an Obama tattoo. I just got back from the tattoo parlor, after 10 excrushiating hours of torture.
It's one thing to wear a button or sport a bumper sticker, but if you're serious about showing your commitment as an Obamunist, it should cause you much pain and suffering and be permanently imprinted into your skin.
Much easier than doing time in a Siberian gulag.Have that tee shirt already.
Dearest Guardian, I think you have me confused with the Canadian Crooner and liberal busybody Neil Young, who not only told Alabama that they had "the rest of the union to help them along",
I hope Neil Young will remember, a southern man don't need him around anyhow.
As to our rythmically inclined camoflage-clad political activists, what the Hell have you idiots been doing since 1964? Dr. King opened the gate for you, guys. If you've been sitting around waiting for Obama to inspire you, well, exactly how dull are you? You need Obama to inspire you to be an auto technician? What the fool did you aspire to be before he showed up?
Oh gods, oh gods, I'm going to puke here... stand clear... Chooooooooooommmmsky.
This is "cats for Obama". And I'm going to be sick again if I have to look at it.
So this is more palatable: Roman Catlickers for Obama. Sure. Directly vote against all the major teachings of the Church. Why the hell not?
At least my man Homer Simpson isn't a total turncoat.
Greetings Comrades! After reading the posts here today, I was 1) inspired to join this Glorious and Progressive commune, and 2) go out and get an Obama tattoo. I just got back from the tattoo parlor, after 10 excrushiating hours of torture.
It's one thing to wear a button or sport a bumper sticker, but if you're serious about showing your commitment as an Obamunist, it should cause you much pain and suffering and be permanently imprinted into your skin.
Much easier than doing time in a Siberian gulag.Have that tee shirt already.
Ah the Parables of the Book of Obama. New Testifiying Section.
I don't know if the code of the IC will allow the Black and White and Red all over. It will probably have to be re-written. In Obama English.
Obamalish...or Obamlish? Or maybe Obonics? oh! so many choices for HopeTM and ChangeTM!
This Halloween is going to put Halloween '04 to shame. Kerry, our most expendable apparatchik, just didn't have the pazazz to get the undead motivated. Obama has that pazazz! I predict big necro-proxy turnout.
Back to the video of the Obama youth military squad... because of Obama I am inspired to be a trailer park redneck on welfare. Wait, we'll all be on welfare and other free goodies from the Obamessiah.
Yes you will be something with Obama ,a peon who will do the ditch digging and the cleaning of the elites cesspools and no pay, a bag of beets and a sack half full of potatoes, oops did I spell that rite ? and you get to wipe their butts when they are through using the golden toilets that you had to pay for with the other half sack of taters
Ah the Parables of the Book of Obama. New Testifiying Section.
I don't know if the code of the IC will allow the Black and White and Red all over. It will probably have to be re-written. In Obama English.
Obamalish...or Obamlish? Or maybe Obonics? oh! so many choices for HopeTM and ChangeTM!
The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans
of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent,
by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant
pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other -
until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's
official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand
Write down this number and report to your Kommissar at the nearest railroad station.
Don't forget warm clothes and a shovel!
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SPONSORED BY:
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Muslim group offended by pork hidden in stimulus package, threatens revenge Obama appoints guilt czar to oversee fair distribution of guilt among all Americans Size matters: stimulus package so big it won't even fit on Drudge No help from Obama to storm-ravaged Kentucky; officials consider renaming state to New Orleans in effort to get attention Politico: volcano trouble in Alaska a result of Palin's policies MoveOn adopts Bush's cowboy diplomacy: 'You're either with Obama or Rush' Obama urges liberals to start listening to Rush Limbaugh: 'all too often we start by dictating on issues and don't always know all the factors involved. So let's listen.' More bad economic news: area antiwar group lays off its bumper sticker makers Dissent no longer patriotic: Obama Reminder to Hollywood celebrities: must change 'patriotic' setting from 'hate America' to 'love America' on Jan. 20 Obama promises to Photoshop a better future for America You won't be told lies if you don't ask questions: Obama's new media policy Personals: senate seats available in NY & Il. Hardly ever used. Cash OK. Change we can believe in: Clinton 1990s staffers Somali pirates hijack international space station Starting with 11/5/08, the cor- rect progressive greeting in America is "Barack Obama!" The reply is "Obama Barack!" Laika the Space Dog consi- dered for new White House pet: "Thoroughly vetted by Bill Ayers" CHANGE: President-elect Obama crushes Yankee imperialism in a landslide
Seven Obama cousins found living in voting boothUS choppers attack ACORN voter registration center in Syria US military: We decided to strike now because this time next year we’ll be a Peace Keeping force Biden predicts severe test for Obama in first six months: another question from Joe the Plumber Obama: Let he who is without wealth cash the first check! Joe Biden: work is a four-letter word
FBI investigates Mickey Mouse Club for voter fraud Embarrassed ACORN accidentally registers 'Ronald Reagan' Kids' hymns to Obama a success of Democrat strategy: If you can't abort them, indoctrinate them World to USA: 'Fix world ecomonic crisis so we can get back to hating you' Obama's campaign invites opponents to play 'Truth or Jail' Biden: Hoover text-messaged Americans to calm fears during 1929 crashDead support Obama, all are registered to vote by ACORN Biden calls taxes patriotic Study: Jesus spoke without a telepromter Obama promises free lipstic for everybody if elected KARAOKE: These Are The Jerks We Call Journalists Obama's negotiations with Gustav prove fruitful; storm spares "French Quarter" Feminist group: Sarah Palin worst mother since June Cleaver; decried as "too feminine" Obama: leave Bristol alone, she has been punished enough with a baby Putin shoots tiger with Polonium-laced dart Obama: ready from day one to place a call to UN if a US city is nuked Cult of personality at the People's Cube is up 90% compared to previous Five-Year Plan Congress established windfall tax on US gold medals International Olympic Committee to redistribute Phelp's ill-gotten golds to less fortunate athletes Obama beats Hillary to coveted CPUSA endorsement February 2050 declared White History Month. Future headlines expected to read "Minorities hardest hit... and deservedly so." Obama denounces Russia's actions; humbled Russia sends self to Gulag US trade deficit dropped; NYT instructs readers to turn paper upside down for more favorable view of graph Sharpton protests disproportionate deaths of Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes, calls for immediate deaths of David Letterman and Billy Joel to even score Science to unveil invisible cloak; Conservative White Christian male in NJ says he's been invisible for years NYT: Russia's invasion of Georgia leaves much smaller carbon footprint than US invasion of Iraq Larry the Cable Guy issues call to "man the pick up trucks" as Russia invades Georgia Edwards claims he was having affair with camera, didn't notice woman attached Chavez's parents cut off Hugo's credit card after Moscow shopping binge Oil industry to Pelosi: You've been given a brain. Use it or lose it. Congress to declare July 19th International Swimmers' Day
How many superdelegates does it take to change a lightbulb? Photoshopped Iranian missile saves 25% on Islamic Republic's carbon footprint
Word of the day: HUSSIES n. Female Obama supporters changing their middle names to HusseinObama: we have always been at peace with Hillary ClintonGrand Rapids Mayor George Heartwell vows city will be "vanilla" when rebuilt Media grows impatient with Iowa's lack of flood-related rapes and pillaging: Why can't they be more like New Orleans? CNN investigates Iowans caught blowing FEMA debit cards at Tractor Supply Company Obama: WTC problem ended on 9/11, Pentagon still a problemHillary supporters organize against Obama Janet Reno congratulates Elian Gonzalez on joining Cuba's Young Communists
Dick Durbin denies that being Hell's spokesperson and moonlighting as a Democrat Senator presents a conflict of interest Flooding in Iowa causes typical white people to turn bitter and cling to evacuation procedures Democrat energy policy: let them eat cake Monica Lewinsky endorses Obama: 'This is not the Bill Clinton I knew' NASA unveils 'ass-crack' space suit for plumbing repairs at int'l space station Dead people at Obama's rally identified as a renegade splinter group of Hillary's 'invisible Americans' Howard Dean: dead people will vote Democrat no matter who gets the nomination Mainstream media silent on increased attacks on US troops by mainstream media Sen. Kennedy under treatment. Mary Jo still dead Muanmar drafts Mayor Nagin and Gov. Blanco to help with cyclone clean up New Orleans Mayor sends school buses to Myanmar As Darfur violence surges, world vows not to give a crap unless the US gets involved Chinese citizens crushed by bricks and rubble; tanks have day off
Friendly fire: BBC office hit by al-Qaeda rocket Al Gore knows what caused Burma cyclone but won't say it International community promises to suspend anti- Americanism until after American aid reaches Burma Mainstream media saddened that Austrian pedophile isn't a Catholic priest, a Baptist minister, or a GOP senator
North Korea's nuclear technicians protest outsourcing jobs to Syria Earth Day: save the planet, starve the children! Focus group: if water boarding was a sexual preference, they'd be teaching it in public schools Study: Wall Street losses unfairly target the rich Mixed month for MTV: teen pregnancy drops, however STDs are on the rise Obama pledges to give every typical small town family a possum sandwich Delays at American Airlines: a sneak peak into proposed government healthcare Stop and smell the Sharpies Obama: baby is punishment; tax increase is bundle of joy Media: this year's Global Bad News Awareness week to overlap with International Good News Obliviousness month NPR journalists go on truckers-style protest over high price of lattes Most popular April Fools joke: "A Democrat president won't raise taxes" Obama denounced extreme statements in Osama's new tape but urged voters to listen to the entire message before making judgment Obama's speech calls for change in stereotyping "the typical White person" Spitzer denies applying hardball tactics in front of bathroom mirror and threatening to come after himself New York State House retires Spitzer's #9 jersey KKK endorses Harvard's gym segregation policy: 'Blacks and Jews are next' London quake caused by SUV, now impounded by Scotland Yard Hillary's healthcare plan to include smelling salts for Obama's supporters and mandatory amputation of Chris Matthews' leg USMail Service to publish Obama's resume on new stamp Obama: one man's plagiarism is another man's audacity Candidate Barry O'Bama to court Irish vote Berkeley ousting US Marines gives hope to al Qaeda: 'If hippies can do it, so can we!' Berkley builds wall around self; man trying to flee 'Peace Sanctuary City' shot at checkpoint John McCain apologizes for going to Vietnam, earns Jane Fonda's endorsement To avoid scorn and ridicule, Tom Cruise converts to Islam NY Times: Backward, close-minded, inbred southern hicks vote for Obama NY Times: All the news that's fit to pimp Dems offer first female for President, first Black for President, first pretty pony for Attorney General Brokeback Mountain loses climber NASA's Spirit Rover finds Dennis Kucinich campaign on MarsLas Vegas: candidates offer plans to bail out flustered gamblers Feds: subprime borrowers' relief package to include subprime rib Silence in Cuba: Castro too ill to speak in public, Cubans too afraid to speak Dems adopt old British "don't mention the war" strategy for '08 campaign Obama's 'Take a penny, leave a penny' economic plan sparks new hope Obama's campaign hires homeless people to talk about change on street corners Panhandlers Union endorses Obama's plan for change Al Gore's children receive carbon credits for Winter Solstice Holiday Democrats call for troop surge in the War on Bush Murtha: if we quit now, capitalism will win Pelosi declares she likes class war, pledges to stay the course Expert blames Republicans for not attacking all Democrat candidates equally High school Meth teacher starts new class Holy Mitt! Violence in Iraq down 60%; media stories reporting this down 6000% Imus covers all bases by hiring undocumented-Black- Jewish-homeless- transgendered-vegan- disabled-obese-Kartina- victim as a sidekick Poll: most Muslims find curvature of Riemannian manifolds offensive "How The Grinch Redistributed Winter Solstice" opens on Broadway Left-wing bloggers hold vigil hoping suspect is connected to GOP candidate Hostage situation expected to be politicized in the next 20 minutes "Mall security" takes over operations in Baghdad New study suggests that 1 US gallon of Latte is 170 times more expensive than 1 US gallon of Regular gasoline. Al Gore sterilizes self to protect planet: 'Having children is selfish' NY Times: some news is fitter to print than others Study: most Americans will be worried about economy if told so often enough Musharraf changes name to Chavez to avoid being called "dictator" by MSM and Democrats in US Congress Media changes old adage "no news is good news" to "no good news is news" US Congress extends hurricane season until the first Sunday in November Lack of bad news from Iraq causes media recession. Women and minority journalists hardest hit. LA Times drops term "wild" describing fire, uses "undocumented" fire instead USA Today: big fires are getting bigger, small fires are getting smaller Reid: Global Warming caused fire by overheating arsonist's head, provoking delusional paranoia MoveOn.org pressures Congress to stop fighting fire and bring firemen home Reid: The war on fire is lost Pelosi: The number of fires has gone up since we started fighting fire Kerry: If you don't do well in school you'll get stuck fighting fire in California NY Times: Fighting fire creates even more fires Harry Reid auctions clothes, furniture, car on eBay in effort to make millions off his name. "If Limbaugh can do it so can I." No takers so far. Princess Leia Organa presents the Alderaanian Medal of Honor to Al Gore Did Che Guevara descend from Prophet Mohammed? San Andreas Fault in California preemptively renamed George Bush's Fault Media Matters editor blows self up over Limbaugh's 'bomber' remark End of Ramadan brings new rioting season to France Harry Reid bangs shoe on table: "We will bury you!" Dutch follow Ahmadinejad's lead, declare "there are no dykes in Holland" Ahmadinejad to Amerika: "Don't tase me, bro!" Bomb Girl and Taser Boy sell rights to their characters to Marvel Comics Cindy Sheehan hires Bomb Girl and Taser Boy as image consultants CBS stands by firing of Dan Rather: "He couldn't tell our logo from a hole in the ground" Jessie Jackson on Obama: "too White." Obama on Jackson: "I'm a smoke dat biatch if I see him"
Tasered victim at John Kerry's speech to receive Purple Heart Mugabe blames Zimbabwe's meltdown on Global Warming To stomp out possible confusion, MSM changes spelling of Obama to Ubama Craving acceptance from liberals, General Petraeus gains 300lbs and debuts report at Cannes. George Soros stops funding Democrats, converts to Islam Edwards: 41% of American children don't have lawyers John Edwards proposes "single payer" trial lawyer insurance for all, mandatory pre-jurisprudence care Illegal aliens kill people Americans won't killDemocrats select 2008 presidential slogan: "Death to America" Larry "Happy Feet" Craig uses Michael Flatley's Riverdance defense "Americans Coming Together" admit they had timing issues Presbyterian clergy issue fatwah calling for Pope's deathNew Jersey teen cracked iPhone with his face Vick awaits doggie-style welcome in prison Rock star behaves like rap star: huge media outcry China's recall of defective Daily Kos bloggers causes suicides among Democrat strategists Al Gore to recall the Internet Media declares September National Bridge Awareness Month First New Orleans, now Minnesota: Anderson Cooper travels up the Mississippi without a paddle Ray Nagin pledges to build a chocolate bridge instead William Jefferson spotted under collapsed bridge retrieving mystery package Cannibalism, rape, looting, republicanism rampant in Minneapolis Lindsay Lohan to enter astronaut training program Nigeria's plan to nationalize local spam industry sparks massive riots in Lagos
Democrat Congress's two major victories: minimum wage increase and al-Qaeda's restored operating capability London Mayor Livingston mandates Sharia law at nightclubs to prevent further bombings Taliban spokesman blames media bias as civilian deaths from US air strikes grab headlines: "Taliban has murdered thousands of civilians and we can't even get mentioned on Countdown with Olbermann. What gives?"Back alley massage parlors now offering "better ending than Sopranos" Bush to close Gitmo, detainees released into Mexican custody to be put on fast track to US citizenship
Study: Dan rather still unable to tell the difference between Paris Hilton and Katie Couric Civil war in Gaza: if it's not in Iraq why report it? US media increasingly impatient at lack of civil war in IraqUS Embassy in Syria warns of sex attacks. So how long will Bill be visiting for? Delighted Dems: "The surge has failed!"MSM spokesman: There are no civil war clashes in Gaza! Palestinians still wonder why their real civil war can't knock Iraq "civil war" off the front page As Albanians welcome Bush and show love for USA, NY Times offers them free subscriptions to "solve problem" Paris gets out of jail faster than an illegal immigrant Socialist utopia takes foothold in Venezuela as water cannons salute victory Pelosi: "I've seen climate change." John Fogerty of CCR also wants to know "if she's ever seen rain" Democrats call for troop withdrawal from Jersey Harry Reid: "Troop presence in New Jersey creating more terrorists" French riot police deployed as open minded, tolerant socialists expected to react to election results Progressives concerned with Sarkozy's "extremist agenda " of rule of law and assimilation to French culture Dems: War needs deadline; only social policies can run indefinitely Sheryl Crow to wipe out global warming one butt at a time Va Tech lessons for MSM: must ban guns, rich kids ACLU calls for calm, fears backlash against innocent gun owners: 'all gun owners aren't terrorists' Liberal groups join gun tolerance and awareness workshops Gun owners converting to Islam in droves to ward off profiling Sharp jump in number of 'non-decapitated' babies following Supreme Court decision Sharpton makes a list of 57 Don Imus sympathizers on public airwaves Al Gore and John Kerry agree: people who live in greenhouses should not expel noxious gases Al Gore hired by K-Y to pro- mote Global Warming Jelly New study shows Earth's 'fever' contagious; Mars asks planets to kick 'Greenhouse Mary' out of solar system Schumer demands Karl Rove be indicted on 1976 parking ticket Al Qaeda reacts to Schumer attack: "Thank Allah we're not Republicans!" Dems: Khalid Sheik Mohamed just watched too many episodes of 24 and made all that stuff in his confession up Fitzgerald to prosecute Ann Coulter for disclosing identity of presidential candidate John Edwards Following Scooter Libby success, media demands journalists be included on all future juries Kent State professor calls for bin Laden victory: time to bring in the National Guard again? Hollywood to America: our moral issues are better than your moral issues Obama promises to "purge himself" if he loses to Hillary to spare the public a lengthy trial House vote: Insurgents react with non-binding IED Democrat leaders don't support terrorists but they support their mission North Korea agrees to nuclear disarmament, media hails Madeleine Albright Bush: I support Democrat majority - but not their mission Is it time for Pinochet yet? Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History
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Experts: assassin hid bomb in anal cavity adjacent to brain
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Al-Qaeda founder discovers DNC playbook, attacks own side in war an terror
Murtha: if we quit now, capitalism will win
New Jersey teen cracked iPhone with his face
MSM spokesman: There are no civil war clashes in Gaza!
Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History
