Since the initially successful effort by academia to ban US military recruiters on campuses has had frustratingly little effect on the overall recruitment numbers, the non-partisan organization "Professors Against Unfair Recruiting Practices" (PAURP) is pushing for a change in strategy to undermine the US military in wartime. The so-called "Academia's New Iraq Strategy," designed to boost morale and guide activist professors out of an apparent quagmire, calls for a surge in numbers of "terrorist" recruiters on campus, as well as extending invitations to representatives of the Cuban, North Korean, and Venezuelan militaries.

Sayyed Hassan Nasrallah, Secretary General of Hezbollah:
Going to college can be a difficult transitional period during which students may feel lost, lonely, confused, anxious, inadequate, and stressed. All of this leads them to depression, which is the number one cause for suicide. And if I were to hear every day from my professors, like Dr. Palimpsest, that I live in the world's worst country with a puppet regime bent on the destruction of its neighbors, and that we all may soon die from Global Warming, I think I would also be depressed and suicidal. Therefore, we at Hezbollah are willing to support monetarily and otherwise any radical, post-modernist, or Marxist studies that promote guilt, anxiety, and depression among American students. In conjunction with the planned expansion of our recruitment efforts on campuses, we'll soon be looking at an army of suicide bombers that's bigger than the one Iran currently has.

To protest military recruiters is just silly. If you really believe that the country should have no army, you have the political means at your disposal, to promote and elect those representatives who would pass such a bill and vote on it. Disbanding the army would, of course, endanger all the other citizens, so such a measure would never get passed. That's because the Founding Fathers have given us the greatest fool-proof political system that protects us from this sort of inanity. And that is why these nutjobs want to change our system through non-constitutional means.