News We Don't Have Time To Write About (archive)

[mi]

Moveon.org petitions Obama administration to leave Bush/Cheney alone and "Move On to Pressing Issues Facing the Nation."

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Progosphere: noun. Anything concerning Washington, D.C.

[Navigator]

TOTUS cuffed and booked into DC jail after beer summit. Regrets 'white cracker' comment. Voluntarily agrees to alcohol treatment.
Obama: "Cuffs were stupidly."
Gates: "See what I mean?"
Crowley: "The 'teachable moment' came and went."

[Father Prog Theocritus]

"Teachable moment" is the most arrogant phrase that I have ever heard. Oh, since, "We are the ones we've been waiting for."

I wish some PS people could do a photo of an X-Ray of His O'liness' ass, with his head up it. The better to smell not only his farts but his shit.

[mi]

To be able to fund Universal Health Care, the government may need to suspend Medicaire — affectionately known as "Cash for Crackers" program.

[Ivan Betinov]

ABC greenlights epic 12-part miniseries based on Beer Summit.

[Navigator]

Public Service Announcement:
Auto Dealers across America wish to remind the auto buying public that the government's failed "Cash For Clunkers" program does not include ObamaCare, Cap and Trade or Stimulus Spending

[Navigator]

There is a God!

Prog controls frozen in a surreal stasis:

SMOKING GUNN!



LARGER IMAGE - TOP<br>LARGER IMAGE - BOTTOM



BORN IN THE USA?
Is this really smoking gun of Obama's Kenyan birth?
Attorney files motion for authentication of alleged 1960s certificate from Africa
Posted: August 02, 2009
11:55 am Eastern
© 2009 WorldNetDaily
WASHINGTON – California attorney Orly Taitz, who has filed a number of lawsuits demanding proof of Barack Obama's eligibility to serve as president, has released a copy of what purports to be a Kenyan certification of birth and has filed a new motion in U.S. District Court for its authentication.

[Father Prog Theocritus]

It would depending on citizenship law at the of His O'liness' birth. When I was learning this stuff, in junior high, just after his birth, I thought that having one American parent qualified, but that was many years ago.

Let's consider though: if he is prized out of office, then Joe Biden would be president. The gaffe machine is also a drunk. Then if there were no VP installed and he died, we'd have Nansky.

Which would be better because if would give the media's knees a rest.

[Navigator]

Commissar Theocritus,
Even Biden would then be a Usurper.
I think we would go right straight to Nansky???
A new election and countless months listening to the libs blaming Bush for the mess.
This situation simply is not acceptable.
I want more Chaos!

[Navigator]

Sen Harry Reid: "Not 1 minute for 'phony issue' of birth!"
Nation Awaits ... Thought Bubble: Obamacare abandoned!

[Navigator]

Obamacare: Pays you to give a shit about healthcare.
When you stop, you're out!

[Margaret]

News from the future:

NEW CAR BUBBLE BURSTS

As more and more people that bought new cars default on their payments many are wondering, who is to blame?

Some Republicans blame the Cash for Clunkers program for the New Car Bubble burst and claim that many people that took advantage of the successful program couldn't afford to pay expensive new car payments of several hundred dollars a month but were persuaded by the Cash for Clunkers program to make bad budget decisions.

President Obama today said the auto dealers are responsible for the New Car Bubble burst. He urges Congress to vote on his new legislation to bailout the auto dealers which could wind up making the government the de facto owner of most of America's dealerships and he calls for new regulations governing the buying and selling of new and used cars.

[Father Prog Theocritus]

The ownership of car dealerships will be restructured. The government will own 60% of the dealerships, the UAW 35% of the dealerships. Lenders will receive 5% of the dealerships, and former owners will be kept on as managers, without pay and with performance quotas which must be met, or the managers will face criminal penalties of up to five years in jail for falling more than 5% behind the UAW-set sales quotas.

[mi]

Senator Barbara Boxer (CA-D) to sponsor a Constitutional Amendment limiting Petitioning the Government for Redress of Grievances to poorly-dressed people only.

[Margaret]

The ownership of car dealerships will be restructured...

Darling babe, do you think there's something familiar going on here?

[Ivan Betinov]

Hey Kids! Be the First on Your Block to Inform on a Neighbor! Send details to [email protected]! Double Pioneer Points for Info on family members!

[Navigator]

Hey Kids! Be the First on Your Block to Inform on a Neighbor! Send details to [email protected]! Double Pioneer Points for Info on family members!

Hell with the neighbor...I think devoted members of Faith Hope and Change should report themselves!

In fact, [email protected] should be overrun with names dates people and ideas....all coming from the democratic party!

[Navigator]

Mob Rule: America's Third Political Party Worries Whitehouse

[Navigator]

LMAO...I don't even know what to do with this.
Even the perverts are turning on Faith Hope and Change.
Please wash off your puter after visiting this site:

http://perezhilton.com/2009-08-04-the-g ... k-on-obama

[mi]

American Civil Liberties Union to use Freedom of Information Act to obtain copies of all e-mails received at [email protected].

[Navigator]

In Pre-Monica Clinton-esq style, U.S. Atty. Gen. Eric H. Holder Jr. attempts to Save Obama Ass Using Tried and True Blame Bush Tactics.<br>Aspirin Factories once again go into lockdown.

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Ah, yes, Margaret, we've seen it before. And we'll see it again.

Navigator, there are lots of "perverts" who never believed in Obama. Or any Democrat.

There's no question that we are being run by fascists.

[Navigator]

MIB: Hot Sheets Determine Obama a Space Alien!

[Navigator]

First recipient of Obamacare, Pelosi spits out bitter pill {suppository} calling protesting American citizens "Un-American".

[Navigator]

Police Pocket Unprecedented Overtime: Thank God for Liberal Town Hall Meetings!
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/ZvdaX35_Bhc&c ... ram><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/ZvdaX35_Bhc&c ... edded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

[Ivan Betinov]

Is the guy in the white hat a union gentleman?

[Ivan Betinov]

When buying Astroturf, remember to look for the Union Lable.

[Navigator]

MIB to Janet Napolitano: "You're everything we've come to expect from years of government training."

2 groups call for Napolitano to take responsibility, quit.

A new report from Americans for Limited Government now has revealed that according to documents released under a Freedom of Information Act procedure, the DHS report was based on sources including "a frighteningly kooky website" that included a report about a scientist destroying a radio to God.

One of the DHS sources was "whatdoesitmean.com," the report said.

"And what is the thrust of whatdoesitmean.com – this site the Obama administration considers a reliable source for intelligence gathering against the American people?" the ALG wondered. "Whatdoesitmean.com contends that the government of the United States has been in direct contact with extra-terrestrial aliens through sophisticated radio waves. Its masthead contains unicorns, Tarot cards, secret numbers, and hieroglyphics.

Based upon these and other similar observations on whatdoesitmean.com (as well as in the intensely frenetic Huffingtonpost.com and the far left Southern Poverty Law Center), the Department of Homeland Security condemned millions of patriotic Americans, including veterans, to intense, daily surveillance by law enforcement officials nationwide," the ALG report said.

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Navigator, I think that we can look in George Soros' eyes and smell the nut fudge cooking under that thin, cracked skull.

[Superkommissar Maksim]

In the battle for Obamacare Palin 1 Obama 0

Breaking: Finance Committee drops “death panel” provisions from Senate bill

[Navigator]

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Has no one heard the child's story of the Little Red Hen?

[Navigator]

Rahm Adopts Taliban Strategy: 'The more troops townhalls they send, the more targets we have!'

[mi]

White House reacts to <a href="https://www.breitbart.com/image.php?id= ... AL80">life expectancy going up in the US</A>: "That's nothing! Just wait, until health-reform moves from campaign-promise to reality!"

[Ivan Betinov]

White House to enact Public Option in private.

[Dr. W. S. Palimpsest]

Following Scotland's Compassionate Lead, US Justice Dept Releases Charles Manson, Citing his Battle with Chronic Hemorrhoids

[mi]

Obama to media: "Please, respect our girls' privacy. Especially you, Mr. Letterman."

[Navigator]

The Obama Administration wastes no time with the healthcare "crisis" by lovingly smearing absurd doses of legacy on Chappateddy.

[Navigator]

Pelosi seeking to pay grass roots supporters wants $100 grand for tuckpointing repairs on Obamacare megalith.

[Navigator]

Obama administration leverages Kennedy's death to diffuse rotten smell emanating from Obamacare stew.
Meanwhile gigantic vortices develops over DC sucking liberals and Obama administration members into a mist of red ink.
Emmanuel promises crisis will be utilized to create the Mother of All Healthcare stews

[Navigator]

Economic Turnaround Imminent? Sales of Barf Bags and Dramamine across the country soar during Kennedy eulogy.

[Dr. W. S. Palimpsest]

"Shiver me Timbers!": Somalia unveils new People's Institute for Redistribution, Adventurism, & Thalassic Extortion (PIRATE)

Johnny Depp to serve as adjunct instructor

[Laika the Space Dog]

Ben & Jerry's "Hubby Hubby"
Packed With Twice The Fudge and Double The Nuts.




Tip of the ushanka to Jim Quinn as I damn near blew my breakfast out my nose listening to Quinn and Rose this morning.

[Navigator]

Van Jones Joins White House Shitter Cleaners Union Local 3200


"Despite having announced his resignation as so-called “Green Czar” in the Obama Administration, admitted Communist and self-described “rowdy Black Nationalist” Van Jones will reportedly continue to work for the White House."

[mi]

Muslims world-wide riot after Obama plagiarizes the Prophet by saying: "I am not the first President to take up this cause, but I am determined to be the last."

[mi]

Obama: ACORN operatives "acted stupidly".

[Navigator]

Nation's unemployment numbers expected to double to around 20% after Obama's military, Acorn, gets decommissioned over minor non-event not covered by mainstream press and is so insignificant to anybody but racial biased right-wing nutcase FoxNews viewers.

[Dr. W. S. Palimpsest]

Kinder Klan: A two-year old, white girl cuts eye-holes into her "blankey" at a South Carolina daycare

Poll: 9 out of 10 white babies prefer Aryan Nation "hate rallies" over their own mother's milk

New Study: Causasian toddlers are more likely to burn crosses than infants of other ethnic backgrounds

[Navigator]

Inspired By The Promise of Obamacare Coming North, Embarrassed Manitoba Health Officials Send Food and Body Body Bags Ahead of Death Carts.

The unfortunate shipments of body bags to aboriginal reserves in Manitoba, speaks to a larger communication problem between health authorities and at-risk aboriginal communities, the national chief of the Assembly of First Nations said Friday.

[Colonel 7.62]

9 out of 10 dentists recommend racist "whitening" toothpaste.

[Superkommissar Maksim]

Charles Manson says, "Leave Polanski alone, hasn't he suffered enough already". Hollywood and most of Europe agree.

[Reiuxcat]

The Carter museum reopens today. Jimmy impressed with the "I was really the 1st black president section." He's also delighted with new the America is a racist nation section.

[Politruk Schadenfreude]

Back when he was a high school teacher, Obama's "Safe School Czar", Kevin Jennings, failed to disclose a case of statutory rape to authorities when a 15 year old boy confided to Jennings that he was having a homosexual affair with an "older man" that he had met in a public bathroom. Instead, Jennings encouraged the high school sophomore to wear a condom and to have a good time. At this point, the problem doesn't seem to be that the Obama administration isn't vetting people. It's that the people doing the vetting have a rather unusual perception of what constitutes a problem.

[mi]

Report: Taleban handed out white robes and turbans to supporters for a photo-op.

[Laika the Space Dog]

Roman Polanski Named New School Safety Czar In Wake Of Jennings Scandal.

[mi]

White House: Obama to deliver his <A href="https://www.breitbart.com/article.php?i ... QG1">Nobel Peace Prize</A> speech wearing Arafat's headdress.

[Commissarka Pinkie]

Pro-choice response to Sebelius urging everyone to get H1N1 flu shot: "Keep the Government out of our noses!"

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33207176/ns ... swine_flu/

[Commissar L.R. Star]

In Nobel Acceptance Speech, Obama Tells the I.O.C. "They Really Like Me."

[Laika the Space Dog]

Obama To Donate Nobel Prize Money To Charity.
She's a Staffer At ACORN

[Navigator]

Obama Wins Efficiency Award!
"Don't Ask; Don't Tell" applies equally to 'Birther Issue'.

[Dr. W. S. Palimpsest]

"Pass Rush": NFL OKs Fidel Castro's bid to buy Miami Dolphins

[mi]

<A href="https://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?secti ... 67308">San Francisco workers demand new repressions</A>.

[mi]

Police nationwide to use end of life counseling techniques to speed up resolutions of threatened suicides.

[mi]

Obama's pay-tzar to cut the Administration's pay by 90%: "We occupy the highest Executive Office of the Land at a time when the country is still coping with rising unemployment and the effects of the recession."
<br>Update: actually, I did find time to write about this...

[mi]

Study: Global Warming linked to consumption of beans, peas, and beef patties.

[mi]

Fort Hood tragedy leads to calls to declare all military bases gun-free zones.

[Commissar L.R. Star]

Shout-outs over Soldiers: Administration finally elevates Native Americans over the evil imperialist army at Bureau of Indian Affairs event.

[Commissar L.R. Star]

FLASH: Army cannot defend itself.... Calls in ATF amd Waco FBI

[mi]

Fort Hood tragedy leads to calls to declare all military bases gun-free zones.

Once again, the Mothersite proves ahead of everybody else on the news — and denunciations! The rest of the Internet is only now catching up.

[Red Square]

Indeed, Comrade Mi! I belatedly posted your headline (haven't noticed it in time).

[mi]

Indeed, Comrade Mi! I belatedly posted your headline (haven't noticed it in time).

Although I wouldn't dare question the Politburo's authority to exercise editorial control, I would've phrased it a bit different. Either what I reported initially, or something like:

[BLOCKQUOTE]Following the Fort Hood tragedy, President Obama declares all military bases gun-free zones.[/BLOCKQUOTE]

[mi]

Obama: the woman, who argued with the Black professor, acted stupidly.

[Red Square]

Although I wouldn't dare question the Politburo's authority to exercise editorial control, I would've phrased it a bit different. Either what I reported initially, or something like:
[BLOCKQUOTE]Following the Fort Hood tragedy, President Obama declares all military bases gun-free zones.[/BLOCKQUOTE]

I agree. My main concern was length, but this works too.

[Comrade Nika]

Sudden Jihad Syndrome: When you're so repressed and horny you can't wait another minute
to get at those 72 virgins.

(stolen borrowed from Ace of Spades http://minx.cc/?post=294476)

[Margaret]

I invented Photoshop.
~ Al Gore

[Dr. W. S. Palimpsest]

Honor Killing: Radical Islamic Ken Doll slays Burka Barbie over pink-painted toe nails.

[Dr. W. S. Palimpsest]

Antartica's Ross Island Detainment Center (RID-C) receives first batch of climate-change skeptics

[mi]

Anonymous whistle-blowers expose a conspiracy of deniers of Continental Drift to hide the major anthropogenic contribution to the phenomenon.

[Red Square]

Mi - this is a good one, but it's more of an inside joke here, so it would be best posted in the Continental Drift thread.