High ranking officials have confirmed that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton lip-synched her testimony before the US Senate yesterday regarding the Benghazi Incident, following the hot new trend of ‘Beyoncéing,’ or lip-synching to a recording when one is not prepared, according to anonymous sources inside the State Department.
Clinton arrived at the Senate hearing still recovering from festivities related to the President Barack Obama’s inauguration on Monday and Tuesday, and felt unprepared to speak live before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. Having rehearsed for her testimony in November and December, Clinton made recordings which were then set to the Senate’s questions posed by her staff
“Her staff knew the obvious questions that would be asked, and so all we really had to do is match her recorded responses to the questions as they came up live,” said one staffer.
Observers noted that Clinton, despite wearing glasses to hide her eyes and obscure any signs of her illness during the testimony, made a flawless performance. She was able to match even emotional gestures during the rapid-fire questions posted by Republican Senators.
“She didn’t get out of synch on anything,” said another anonymous observer. “Beyoncé would be proud.”
Senator John Kerry is also working on a similar strategy for his appearance before the Committee when he is set to testify in confirmation hearings as he prepares to be appointed as Clinton’s successor. Kerry, known for his calm demeanor, is expected to have a much easier time Beyoncéing through his testimony.
“The Senate hearings should be a cake-walk, since he knows the Senators and their questions are going to be pretty much out-of-the-box,” said Democratic Party strategist David Handlebar. “They might as well let him phone it in like the president did during his debates, and people still found him credible enough for him to win reelection. The trick is to keep your lips moving no matter what happens.”
Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People’s Cube,
Dialectical Progressivism Translator
Accused child-killer Casey Anthony adopts the Hillary Clinton “what difference does that make now?” defense
If "Beyonce'-ing" can save the Administration™ from embarrassment, or from anyone being held accountable, fired, outted, shamed, or otherwise punished for ineptitude, treason or being directly responsible for the demise of 4 Americans, then
"WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?!!!"
Now you too can make no difference with your very own Hitlery!
Nazi war criminal Adolph Eichmann adopts the Hillary Clinton “what difference does that make now?” defense
Rand Paul: “Had I been president at the time and known you had not read cables from Libya asking for more security, I would fired you.”
Che Guevara: “Fired her? We would have shot her!”
As we all know, Comaradette Hiliary Clinton
ThePeoplesComradeI hate wearing a suit and tie but I do look good in it. Anything to support the MTE.
You look good in a vest as well Comrade!
I don't always wear a bow tie, but when I do, I wear cuffs.
Just because Comrade Red Square is off to a summit does not mean that you can just start posting all kinds of 'stuff' on his web site! People have landed in the gulag for much less. I recommend that you take a cold shower before you overheat yourself. And where did you buy that shower curtain - Bed, Bath and Beyond Tasteful?
I'm late for my waxing appointment at the New Karl Marx Reflections Salon.
Click the image above to see the video.
Look TPC... we're famous... and you have a new best buddy!