Comrades, this day we celebrate!

Dear Leader celebrates his 54th birthday according to his "birth certificate" (wink, wink...). A lion pig will be cooked luau-style in a freshly prepared pit near the Rose Garden to honor His O'liness and his Kenyan Hawaiian (wink, wink...) heritage. As a devout Muslim, he will not consume pork Christian, he will share with his needy subjects constituents.

A new Muslim National Holiday will be voted on by congress in a midnight vote at a location to be announced to John Boehner and other Democrats at a later time. In honor of this new holiday, Government workers will not accomplish anything today.

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What do you get for the man who ruins everything?

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:What do you get for from the man who ruins eveything?

Ruination!

Q: What do you get for the man who possesses the power to confiscate anything he wants?


A: Whatever will keep you in his good graces. To that end, me and the boys from The People's Beet Distillery are taking up a collection to get a little something to remind Dear Leader of just how wonderful he is. This 24 karat gold desk set is a token of our appreciation, for allowing us the privilege of being governed by his pen and phone. The handsome coffee mug will greet him with our universal adoration from the moment he rises each day.

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:A lion pig will be cooked luau-style in a freshly prepared pit near the Rose Garden to honor His O'liness and his Kenyan Hawaiian (wink, wink...) heritage.

After consumption of the pig by FLATUS, attendees will be served a healthy lunch consisting of carrot sticks and rice cakes, to be followed by a Shakedown for Hillary non-fundraiser.

I suppose if we really wanted to stroke his ego, we could start a petition to repeal the 22nd Amendment, so that he could run for a third term.

Konservative_Punk wrote:I suppose if we really wanted to stroke his ego, we could start a petition to repeal the 22nd Amendment, so that he could run for a third term.

Konservative_Punk wrote:I suppose if we really wanted to stroke his ego, we could start a petition to repeal the 22nd Amendment, so that he could run for a third term.

I am puzzled by this. Why would he care what the Constitution says in the first place?

RedDiaperette wrote:

Konservative_Punk wrote:I suppose if we really wanted to stroke his ego, we could start a petition to repeal the 22nd Amendment, so that he could run for a third term.

I am puzzled by this. Why would he care what the Constitution says in the first place?

Declaring himself to be "President for Life" would seem a bit more his style, Komrade...

RedDiaperette wrote:

Konservative_Punk wrote:I suppose if we really wanted to stroke his ego, we could start a petition to repeal the 22nd Amendment, so that he could run for a third term.

I am puzzled by this. Why would he care what the Constitution says in the first place?

The thought did occur to me, but we should not assume that Dear Leader enjoys disregarding the Constitution. He does it from the goodness of his heart, For the Children™ . I just want him to know that nobody loves him more so than I, demonstrated by my desire to prevent him from having to ignore the law yet again.

Comrades, you are merely jealous that I beat you to the punch! I wanted to make the suggestion before anyone else did so that when the purges come, as they inevitably will, that he would remember my devotion and find favor upon me. You snooze, you lose! Don't forget to destroy this message after reading...

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:

What do you get for the man who ruins everything?

I believe a banana republic is a most thoughtful gift.

I drove my gas guzzling 8 cylinder Durango around today, and did some target practice with my Mosin. I ate things with day and salt, and went out of my way to not pay taxes on this day. I also judged, denounced and threw out a little white privilege. I ate pork and drew cartoons of Mohamed, and behaved like the non believing heretic I am. Anddd I told someone climate change wasn't settled science.

Why not a commission a portrait?