Comrades! We have our first slate of nominees for induction into the Legion of Hysterical Fools!

Please take a moment to review our esteemed candidates:

Sarah Silverman, who is disappointed that President Donald Trump is not Antisemitic enough.

Van Jones, who is positive the only reason a black woman can lose an election is misogynoracism.

Beto O'Rourke, who has boldly carried the art of unsupportable self-identification onto the stage of national elections.

C. I. Zetkin, who has to be the center of attention (self-nomination).

Alec Baldwin, who defended his private use of public space with peaceful protest and a knuckle sandwich.

and

Representative Eric Swalwell, who proposed the domestic use of nuclear weapons as a means to end gun violence in America.


Since this is an internal Party vote and because Hillary Clinton is not one of the nominees, you only get to vote for one candidate and you only get to vote one time.

Nominations are now open for the SECOND induction into the Legion of Hysterical Fools. You may make your nominations in the thread below.

Remember that a person's simple existence is not sufficient merit for nomination. Please make sure your nomination documents a specific instance of Hysterical Foolishness on the part of your nominee.

Komrades,

I am very honored to accept this nomination and I pity the fool that thinks they may out fool me.

So just remember...........

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Don't fret/faint Clara... he feels the same way about Trump!!
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Comrade Putout wrote:.
Don't fret/faint Clara... he feels the same way about Trump!!
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I can't believe I am tied with someone that goes by the name of ancient analog magnetic video tape and being outvoted by Dr. KILLdare with nukes. I didn't see either one of them personally come here and campaign for votes.

In light of the classical definition of "hysterical" ...

hysterical, adj. Of, or related to, problems with the ol' female equipment. From hysteric +‎ -al, from Latin hystericus, from Ancient Greek ὑστερικός (husterikós, “suffering in the womb, hysterical”), from ὑστερά (husterá, “womb”).

I believe that nominations should be restricted to those identified as female and not simply those identifying as female. This would, however, not disqualify Beta and Eric SwallowWell, who are definitely pussies. The resultant exclusion of Sarah Silverman is regrettable, but as it is said, "You can't remove an ovary without breaking some eggs."

Ah, that should have read "Beto" in the post above but I am unable to change it. Apparently Firefox and the WYSIWIG editor do not wish to coexist peacefully.

No fear, PPG. "Beta" describes his masculinity to a low T.

P.P. Gogol wrote:In light of the classical definition of "hysterical" ...

hysterical, adj. Of, or related to, problems with the ol' female equipment. From hysteric +‎ -al, from Latin hystericus, from Ancient Greek ὑστερικός (husterikós, “suffering in the womb, hysterical”), from ὑστερά (husterá, “womb”).

I believe that nominations should be restricted to those identified as female and not simply those identifying as female. This would, however, not disqualify Beta and Eric SwallowWell, who are definitely pussies. The resultant exclusion of Sarah Silverman is regrettable, but as it is said, "You can't remove an ovary without breaking some eggs."

I denounce Comrade Gogol for posting this blatantly sexist, misogynistic text that is extremely offensive to our esteemed self-identified female comrades. While they may not comprehend the meaning of your words, females are very adept at being triggered by the tone, which in this case is patently trigger-worthy.

Red Square wrote:

P.P. Gogol wrote:In light of the classical definition of "hysterical" ...

hysterical, adj. Of, or related to, problems with the ol' female equipment. From hysteric +‎ -al, from Latin hystericus, from Ancient Greek ὑστερικός (husterikós, “suffering in the womb, hysterical”), from ὑστερά (husterá, “womb”).

I believe that nominations should be restricted to those identified as female and not simply those identifying as female. This would, however, not disqualify Beta and Eric SwallowWell, who are definitely pussies. The resultant exclusion of Sarah Silverman is regrettable, but as it is said, "You can't remove an ovary without breaking some eggs."

I denounce Comrade Gogol for posting this blatantly sexist, misogynistic text that is extremely offensive to our esteemed self-identified female comrades. While they may not comprehend the meaning of your words, females are very adept at being triggered by the tone, which in this case is patently trigger-worthy.

Indeed. And what of the self-identified/identifying female but ... spayed? Fie, for shame.

RedDiaperette wrote: Indeed. And what of the self-identified/identifying female but ... spayed? Fie, for shame.

Red! Congratulations on your transition! It's about time you got a real quota! Say, those hormones are working great, your whiskers are coming in nicely! Do keep us updated on your progress and when to switch what pronoun.

The staff at tractor barn #2 will help schedule the party, and it's going to be a good one, as traditionally we budget your first years pay increase from your (ahem "nonexistent") wage gap (wink wink) so get your corrected ration cards applied for in plenty of time.

By Lenin, we might even be able to get real potato chips! I'm excited. Yes indeed.

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:

RedDiaperette wrote: Indeed. And what of the self-identified/identifying female but ... spayed? Fie, for shame.

Red! Congratulations on your transition! It's about time you got a real quota! Say, those hormones are working great, your whiskers are coming in nicely! Do keep us updated on your progress and when to switch what pronoun.

The staff at tractor barn #2 will help schedule the party, and it's going to be a good one, as traditionally we budget your first years pay increase from your (ahem "nonexistent") wage gap (wink wink) so get your corrected ration cards applied for in plenty of time.

By Lenin, we might even be able to get real potato chips! I'm excited. Yes indeed.

Nay, nay, and boo hoo! I am soooo triggered by your assumption about my gender status. I remain as I have always been: a cispussy of the cisfemale persuasion. And I am also triggered by your speciesist assumption about my lovely whiskers, boo hoo. They have been with me since kittenhood. When I asked about the spayed, I was thinking of the kollektive, and about all who might be triggered by references to the hysteroi of which they have been deprived against their will.

I will now go throw a hissy fit. (And anyone who makes jokes about "hissies" and pussies or hysteroi is a hater.)

But I am also confused in addition to being hysterical.... When one is addressing another, is not the usual pronoun "you"? I cannot keep up with all this grammar.

We can't waive the cancellation fee for the venue, but we might cut some costs. Who needs potato chips anyway, when fried beet peels will do? Your quota has already been adjusted, you're going to need a better shovel. At this point, perception is reality, and you just need to finish the job...anesthesia can make you nauseous, don't eat too much before the surgery.

We're here for you, and we support your bold decisions! We can teach you the important stuff like choosing the right urinal or setting up the proper stance...wait, you can figure out how to spray past the litter box yourself, have fun with that.

The Rt. Hon. Comrade Red Square said:

"... our esteemed self-identified female comrades. While they may not comprehend the meaning of your words, ..."

The alpha Red Square's words are good and true. But for the record I should like to note that if I had said the above within earshot of Mrs. Gogol, it would have been "Take your rifle and your ass out of here and go shoot someone, you're not seein' the kitty for at least a month."

At any rate, I accept this Public Service Denouncement.

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote: We're here for you, and we support your bold decisions! We can teach you the important stuff like choosing the right urinal or setting up the proper stance...wait, you can figure out how to spray past the litter box yourself, have fun with that.

Oh oh oh, and now you are making ailurophobic litter box jokes. I am clutching my pearls (which go quite nicely with the chainlink helmet, by the way) and weeping in my safe space. Tomorrow I will form an antihate agency to look into these matters. I sense collusion....

RedDiaperette remonstrated:
"I sense collusion...."

A little WD-40 before putting a weapon away prevents that, and of course never clean aluminum components with an alkaline detergent.