.In a stunning gutsy call, President Obama has opted to spend the Independence Day Holiday in the Fifty-Fourth State, France.
"This represents yet another 'presidential first' for President Obama," exhulted White House spokesman Jay Carney. "All previous presidents have celebrated Independence Day in Washington, New York, or some other city in the Continental United States. Only President Obama is audacious enough to celebrate the holiday with a series of fundraiser dinners in Paris!"
France, rumored to be the fifty-fourth of the fifty-seven American states, has long been neglected by American presidents, despite its extreme importance in American history. Had it not been for the example of the courageous revolutionaries of the Reign of Terror, the Americans would have never developed the ideas that led to the American Revolution. Vice-President Biden led the advance team that arrived in Paris today, laying a wreath at the Place de le Concorde and proclaiming "Robespierre, we are here!"
"The President will engage in a series of high level fund-raiising dinners," said Carney, "with George Clooney selling tickets to exclusive venues for exclusive guests." Tickets are limited to 150, with prices starting at a remarkably affordable $20,000. "Of course, the President is aware of the current European Debt crisis, and is making a generous 'BOGO' offer," Carney continued. "Anyone buying two tickets will get a fifty percent discount on the second ticket."
Guests will also be signed up for regular e-mail offers of presidential merchandise from Obamamart, including "Puppies for Obama" housebreaking pads and "Big Mo" enema kits.
I wouldn't expect anything less. Hopefully he's looking for real estate. France will be a nice little place for him to retire after November.