Comrades! It has taken many months, but I have finally wrapped my mind around the pure genius of Dear Leader's nuclear negotiations with Iran. I am sincerely giddy that this deal has enough congressional support to defeat any attempt to block its implementation.
On the surface it may seem like we've traded billions in sanctions relief to an untrustworthy and hostile regime in exchange for temporary concessions and meaningless inspections, but that's not the case at all. In fact, the nuclear weapons program is completely irrelevant.
Consider: We have opened up foreign investment, markets, and lines of credit. We're going to give the cash-starved Ayatollah just enough of a taste of other peoples' money to make him hungrier. You can bet that the Iranians are going to love having free government falafel in those first few months. We may even do well to give Iran the Olympics as soon as possible, in recognition of their "commitment to join the international community."
And then they'll realize how quickly "billions" runs out when the government is offering chelo (rice with butter and safron), while the people have gotten a taste for jigar (lamb liver kebab garnished with basil and fresh lemon).
By the time the deal expires, Iran's military and nuclear weapons program will be reduced to rusting hulks as the government tries to fend off a million entitled Islamic extremists at the gates of their own palaces. Well played Dear Leader, well played.
Now, how do you say "Obamaphone" in Farsi? Or, for that matter, "Cloward and Piven?"