![]() | Dozens of local area workers were left jobless yesterday as the doors closed on their workplace after more than nine years of frisky business. Devastated staff at the "I Hate Bush T-Shirt and Vendor Wear" factory wept as the moment they were dreading finally became a reality: the firm went into bankruptcy in result of sagging orders for their goods and slim prospects for a renewed demand in the future. "The management can say whatever they want, but I personally blame Bush," said Fred Fluger, a longtime employee, as he carried home a storage box filled with "I Hate Bush" shirts, sweaters, boxers, beach towels, and pajamas, with which the cash-stripped company had been paying its workers for the last three months. |
"Bush doesn't want us to continue to prosper like we did during his presidency, when everybody had jobs and could afford to spend money on 'I Hate Bush' T-shirts, and we couldn't keep up with demand, and times then were good, so good!" Mr. Fluger then began to sob and mutter incoherently to himself, as he realized how good he really had it when George Bush was in office. But there also were dissenters. "Not to let Bush off the hook, but I also blame capitalist markets," said Keith Matthews, a marketing expert and multiple winner of the factory's prestigious "Malcontent of the Month" award. "Why must our lives depend on demand for our products? In a normal, centrally-planned, government-subsidized economy, we would be making 'I Hate Bush' shirts for many years until we retire, and then our children would continue our work, without any changes in design or technology, with guaranteed employment for generations to come. That's why I'm so disappointed in Obama. If he keeps letting us down, in the next election I'll vote for Nader." The factory did try to fight back. But the idea to re-tool the T-shirt line with pro-Obama slogans was dashed by the recent elections in Virginia and New Jersey, which the management said was the final writing on the wall. There have also been rumors of a large grant from the NEA Foundation, to keep the factory alive as a taxpayer-funded artistic community. However, the dreams of working families were brutally crushed by the right-wing media's attacks on the Foundation's progressive effort, which linked NEA grants to endorsing Obama's policies. Their baseless claims that the NEA was somehow using taxpayer dollars for leftist propaganda forced Foundation's leaders to withdraw the "I Hate Bush" subsidy. The 51 employees, some of whom have been with the firm from the very beginning, said an emotional private farewell to each other in the Organic Foods Lunchroom at the factory. "Who wouldn't like to get an organic, fair-trade 'I Hate Bush' T-shirt as a holiday gift from their loved ones? It was so selfish to close now. We all know that Christmas is a corporate ploy to boost profits in the last quarter of the fiscal year when the bourgeois like to go shopping for stuff. Buck Fush!" "My daughter is so smart because she went to college," the father beams proudly, but his smile quickly gives way to the usual concerned look: "That's why the greedy corporate bastards refuse to hire her. Thankfully, she collects disability for her dyslexia." Mr. Laing agrees about Christmas, adding that "if only the factory lasted until the right-wingers regained the majority in Congress in 2010, we could replace 'I Hate Bush' with the name of some other Republican hatemonger designated for this role by the progressive community. The right-wingers would cut taxes and then the people would have more money to fight them by wearing anti-right-wing shirts. The sales would pick up and we could keep our jobs." But even in these difficult times there still may be help. An investors group associated with Fox News is said to be interested in purchasing the factory building and using laid-off workers to support recently added news staff - an expansion caused by the network's ever increasing ratings. The only other opportunity for the laid-off workers seems to be at a nearby tea factory, where demand for the product has taken an unexpected upturn since the election of Obama as President. "I think the tea business and all the parties associated with it are going to be a real booming concern the next couple of years," Mr. Fluger said. |
TheSystemIsBroken
Considering the high level of intelligence around here, it's odd that you want people to credibly accept that the current economic downturn is the result of an 11 month Presidency and not, say, 30 years of declines in American median income, 30 years of expanding individual deb. 30 years of boom and bust cycles? Nope. It's Obama.Infidel Castrate
TheSystemIsBroken
Considering the high level of intelligence around here, it's odd that you want people to credibly accept that the current economic downturn is the result of an 11 month Presidency and not, say, 30 years of declines in American median income, 30 years of expanding individual deb. 30 years of boom and bust cycles? Nope. It's Obama.TheSystemIsBroken
Infidel Castrate
TheSystemIsBroken
Considering the high level of intelligence around here, it's odd that you want people to credibly accept that the current economic downturn is the result of an 11 month Presidency and not, say, 30 years of declines in American median income, 30 years of expanding individual deb. 30 years of boom and bust cycles? Nope. It's Obama.
TheSystemIsBroken
Just because we allow our political class to remain corrupt and unaccountable, doesn't mean that regulation and reform can never work, it means we don't force them to work, by being full participants in democracy.Margaret
TheSystemIsBroken
Just because we allow our political class to remain corrupt and unaccountable, doesn't mean that regulation and reform can never work, it means we don't force them to work, by being full participants in democracy.TheSystemIsBroken
I do wish, though, that more Americans would get over their Obama obsessions and actually think about the future of our economic system.TheSystemIsBroken
No President can be assigned blame for the current moment. We can say that the Reagan Presidency began a trend in fiscal and financial governance that began us down a path, but those policies were perpetuated by Bush, Clinton and Bush the sequel regardless of which party controlled congress or the white house. Alan Greenspan said it himself, a fundamental philosophy was proved faulty. The totally unregulated market does not always act in the interest of societal stability. America's boom and bust cycle may be inevitable, but there are ways of ensuring the down periods are less destructive.Chairman M. S. Punchenko
TheSystemIsBroken
I do wish, though, that more Americans would get over their Obama obsessions and actually think about the future of our economic system.TheSystemIsBroken
No President can be assigned blame for the current moment. We can say that the Reagan Presidency began a trend in fiscal and financial governance that began us down a path, but those policies were perpetuated by Bush, Clinton and Bush the sequel regardless of which party controlled congress or the white house. Alan Greenspan said it himself, a fundamental philosophy was proved faulty. The totally unregulated market does not always act in the interest of societal stability. America's boom and bust cycle may be inevitable, but there are ways of ensuring the down periods are less destructive.Chairman M. S. Punchenko
Lord knows I got a bad finger and I'm going to need someone -- anyone!! -- with a wet finger able enough to go through that litany of red-tape I would have to fill out.TheSystemIsBroken
Considering the high level of intelligence around here, it's odd that you want people to credibly accept that the current economic downturn is the result of an 11 month Presidency and not, say, 30 years of declines in American median income, 30 years of expanding individual deb. 30 years of boom and bust cycles? Nope. It's Obama.
Quote:
The system may be broken, but probably most of us here would agree Obama's ideas will likely make things worse. He is not responsible for the entire hole, but I certainly wish he'd stop digging.

Comrade Castrate
Spoken like a true Progressive Chairman. I assume you followed correct protocol and injured that finger pointing blame at someone else?Comrade Opiate
Bearing that in mind, it's unlikely that any or most of us expect people to credibly accept that the current economic difficulty is entirely the result of an 11 month presidency.State Media Organ Time Magazine
Happiness is a sappy word and a flimsy concept — more fleeting than contentment, several octaves lower than joy. But happiness is what pollsters test and economists track, however clumsily, so we're stuck with it as the medium for measuring our mood. Not surprisingly, that mood has bounced around over the years, with the general sense of well-being hitting its lowest points in 1973, 1982, 1992 and 2001, all recession years. So why is it that at least some aspects of the Great Recession of 2009 appear to have made people feel better?Commissar Theocritus

SystemIB's Current Truth
...it's appropriate that your Commie characters closely resemble stock characters from 1950s Cold War films, of course watching those films is the closest any of us come to actually dealing with or interacting with communists.

Commissar Theocritus
I cannot tell you how ashamed I am to be from Texas, which always, and here I'm wiping a tear from my eye, votes for the Rethuglicans for President. I climb on the roof of the Rancho de Rio Grande and call out, using my PA system, "Citizens! You are oppressed! You are nothing! You need me to lead you to the Progressive World of Next Tuesday(tm)!"Red Rooster
Comrades!!!TheSystemIsBroken
Considering the high level of intelligence around here, it's odd that you want people to credibly accept that the current economic downturn is the result of an 11 month Presidency and not, say, 30 years of declines in American median income, 30 years of expanding individual deb. 30 years of boom and bust cycles? Nope. It's Obama.

Quote:
Well, we told you before how much the current president, Dr. Utopia, made us realize just how wrong we were about Bush. We shudder to think what Dr. Utopia would have done post-9/11. He would have not gone there with a bullhorn and struck that right tone. More likely than not, he would have been his usual fey, apologetic self and waxed professorially about how evil America is and how justified Muslims are for attacking us, with a sidebar on how good the attacks were because they would humble us.TheSystemIsBroken
LOL, I do love the shtick and think it's appropriate that your Commie characters closely resemble stock characters from 1950s Cold War films, of course watching those films is the closest any of us come to actually dealing with or interacting with communists. Whatever Obama is..he's done nothing even remotely close to being communist. And if what he does = communist, then we've had quite a few commie Presidents. And, somehow, the country didn't fall off its axis into total despair.
Commissarka Pinkie
Don't go scaring our new comrade away by telling him he's made a wrong turn, when nothing could be further from the truth. Of course he knows this is a satirical site, and rest assured he's come to the right place! Is that not obvious from his extremely amusing comments? I swear no one has made me laugh so hard in quite a long while.TheSystemIsBroken
Considering the high level of intelligence around here...
Opiate of the People
Let's get real here... this is a satirical website.
Terry_Jim
Our dear comrades at the "Buck Fush Factory"Terry_Jim
Luck Fiberals.
TheSystemIsBroken

Komrade Krinkov
Even peasants in People's Republic of China are giving Obama his proper place alongside Mao!
Infidel Castrate
I saw some teabaggers wearing "Luck Fiberals" tee shirts. What are Fiberals? And are they lucky?INGSOC

TheSystemIsBroken
Considering the high level of intelligence around here, it's odd that you want people to credibly accept that the current economic downturn is the result of an 11 month Presidency and not, say, 30 years of declines in American median income, 30 years of expanding individual deb. 30 years of boom and bust cycles? Nope. It's Obama.KomradeMarine
TheSystemIsBroken
Considering the high level of intelligence around here, it's odd that you want people to credibly accept that the current economic downturn is the result of an 11 month Presidency and not, say, 30 years of declines in American median income, 30 years of expanding individual deb. 30 years of boom and bust cycles? Nope. It's Obama.
Commissar Theocritus
Castrate, we should remember that Mr. Mondale won Minnesota by 3114 votes, and there are more precincts than that in Minnesota. But that was of course because the Bu$hitler and a Daley stole the election.TheSystemIsBroken
Infidel Castrate
TheSystemIsBroken
Considering the high level of intelligence around here, it's odd that you want people to credibly accept that the current economic downturn is the result of an 11 month Presidency and not, say, 30 years of declines in American median income, 30 years of expanding individual deb. 30 years of boom and bust cycles? Nope. It's Obama.Commissar Theocritus
Kulak! What is that gibberish that you're spouting? My eyes! My eyes! Whenever anyone waves a bit of that tattered old document, the U. S. Constitution, at me, my heart flutters and I have a distinctive ventricle arrhythmia. And my head hurts.

Quote:
Exactly a year later comes the empirical validation of that skepticism. Virginia -- presumed harbinger of the new realignment, having gone Democratic in '08 for the first time in 44 years -- went red again. With a vengeance. Barack Obama had carried it by six points. The Republican gubernatorial candidate won by 17 -- a 23-point swing. New Jersey went from plus-15 Democratic in 2008 to minus-four in 2009. A 19-point swing.| Related Articles | Author | Replies | Views | |
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Obama's teleprompters unionize, demand collective bargaining rights
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ACLU: Christmas tree lighting ceremonies create more terrorists


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Gibbs: basketball game in which Obama split his lip was started by Bush
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Obama ends war, blames Iraq car explosions on faulty non-union manufactured spare parts
Democrats pull troops out of Iraq to fight the 'real war' on Christine O' Donnell
In effort to appeal to NOW feminists, Christine O'Donnell changes name to Rosie, gains 400lbs
Obama goes to church, worships self
Study: Obama's threat to butn tax money in Washington 'recruitment bonanza' for Tea Parties


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Imam Rauf finds a peaceful solution: 'Move Ground Zero a few blocks away from the mosque and no one gets hurt'
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MSNBC suggests Florida church burn Bible instead of Koran; fewer pages mean smaller carbon footprint
New York Neighbors for American Values offer to voluntarily behead themselves to prove tolerance to Muslims; rabbi Arthur Waskow offers to self-incinerate in oven instead
The U.N. posthumously awards all French military personal that served during May of 1940 a medal for Courageous Restraint
White House revises policy to announce when President is at work instead of announcing when he is going on vacation
Seattle: sonic booms of fighter jets shatter glass, stimulate economy
Obama promises to create thousands more economically neutral jobs
White House: Spanish vacation saved or created 3,427 jobs
Pelosi issues recall of House, citing electoral safety concerns
Obama's lack of cojones a bold-face lie: proof
Elton John Working On Anti-Obama Musical
Congress ceases Pentagon spending, outsources armed forces to China
Shirley Sherrod accepts apology, gets new gov't job in End of Life Counseling
On first visit as Britain's PM, David Cameron chooses a communist state, seeks détente
Report: President Obama to visit the United States in the near future
GOP challengers promise post-racial presidency after 2012
Doctors: Glenn Beck's worsening eyesight and inability to focus give hope he may yet join other media and follow Obama
Parachuting donkey lands into Vice President's desk, continues business as usual
Obama calls on radical groups to comply with rules for radicals
NAACP condemns racism within al Qaeda: 'We don't have a problem with radicals, we have an issue with their acceptance of white Arab supremacists into their organizations'
Obama denies al-Qaeda stimulus money, redirects funds to 'less racist' man-made disaster management organizations
In view of lasting heat wave, all weather forecasts are temporarily replaced with 'An Inconvenient Truth' infomercials
NAACP strongly denounces The New Black Panthers
Caught in another hateful rant, Mel Gibson apologizes to representatives of hurt communities: Russian mail-order bride community, silicone breast-implant community, slutty clothes designer community, Vegas whore community, rapist community, and personally to Al Sharpton
Europe: Oracle Octopus predicts World Cup winner;
USA: Oracle Dodo predicts economic growth
Today's box office: LeBron knixes New York in a suspense thriller The Field of Nightmares (Tax Them and They Won't Come)

In a last-ditch effort to get popular with Americans, Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan reveals she's a Russian spy, photoshops her face on Anna Chapman's nude photos, wins by a landslide
Portland Tribune to receive Pulitzer Prize for best investigative non-reporting of Al Gore's sexual public service blooper
War on Arizona turns to quagmire; Obama sets timetable on American withdrawal by 2011
MSNBC: Obama's firing McChrystal a positive move to bring long-awaited improvement in oil-spill-affected news coverage
Harry Reid changes name to John F Kennedy in last ditch effort to win re-election
White House spokesman Gibbs clarifies why President's answers to nation's problems seem surreal, bizarre and inappropriate, by comparing reporter's question to a purple polka-dotted people-eater riding a tricycle
Obama: green economy likely to transform America into a leading third world country of the new millennium
President taps Pay Czar for BP payouts to victims: Unions order freighter of champagne
EPA: New climate bill will cost less than a postage stamp a day to those still able to afford a postage stamp
Helen Thomas Gets "Rachel Corrie Golden Bulldozer Award"
Puzzled media: Apparently, Al Gore is pro-drill
Gay Pride parade in Gaza cancels inclusion of Israeli group
Obama blames Bush for screwing up his 'Don't Make Excuses' grad speech in Kalamazoo, Michigan
Helen Thomas to leave US for ancestral Lebanon to no longer be occupier of La Raza's Land
Following phrase scheduled to appear on every Sunday morning news show: 'What Helen actually ment to say was...'

Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History
Obama's Deficit Reduction Commission operating in the red
Al Gore: It's a shame that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of polar bears
Democrats introduce bill regulating who can be a politician
BP hires Gaza flotilla peace activists to beat oil back into hole
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