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This Day In History: An Open Letter to Google

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Dear Google comrades Sergei and Larry!

The Party looks kindly at your attempts to correct and/or improve history by modifying the Google logo on notable calendar dates. For years you have educated the masses about progressive and useful events like Earth Day or Earth Hour, while purposefully ignoring Memorial Day (no logo change on this reactionary American holiday).

Most recently, youenlightened the unwashed about the Spanish artist Velázquez on June 6 without mentioning the Allied Invasion of Normandy on D-Day, a celebration of which would indeed be offensive to National Socialists.

The time is ripe for us to reinforce your amateurish efforts with our brand of historical revisionism that stands on a firm scientific foundation of the Party doctrine. The next big holiday is Independence Day. Review the following list of Party-recommended events and logos for mandatory inclusion.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

use one of the options once a year, depending on what the current truth of the day is.

July 4

(Independence Day)

  • Independence for the Philippine Islands from the United States of America. (1946)
  • Independence of Ethiopia from Britain, France and Italy. (1906)
  • Independence of People's Princess Diana from her male oppressor Prince Charles. (1996)
  • The beginning of the National Health Service (NHS) in Britain. (1948)
  • The Statue of Liberty is given by France to Americans who couldn't do statues themselves because they were only interested in dog-eat-dog exploitation of each other. (1884)
  • Nothing significant happened, use plain Google logo so as not to offend the families of those who opposed American independence in 1776.

Dec. 25

(Formerly Xmas):

  • Mikhail Gorbachev formally resigns as President of the Soviet Union in result of a capitalist plot to destroy the cradle of socialist revolution. (1991)
  • Communist leader Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife Elena are executed in Romania by agents of world imperialism. (1989)
  • An Iraqi Airways plane with 107 people aboard exploded by Zionist aggressors in Saudi Arabia. (1986)
  • Zionist Prime Minister Menachem Begin meets Egypt's traitor President Anwar Sadat for separatist talks and betrayal of fellow peace-loving Palestinians. (1977)
  • In Australia, the town of Darwin is devastated by a cyclone in result of man-made climate change caused by capitalist industrial development. (1974)
  • Birth in manger reveals looming crisis in housing, transportation, and medical insurance. The rich in spirit get richer; the poor in spirit get poorer. (1 CE)
  • Nothing significant happened, use plain Google logo so as not to offend the poor in spirit.
Check your inbox regularly for further developments and additions.

Sincerely,
The People's CubeP.S. We hope you keep your shovels in good repair, comrades! You will need them once we bring about the glorious Progressive World of Next Tuesday™.

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Any more holidays you would like to recommend to our Google comrades? Create new holidays perhaps?

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A note on the margins:

As I googled "the time is ripe" idiom, the #1 site in the search was thefreedictionary.com, offering this subliminal Party propaganda, which is just as "neutral" as the one on Google.

thefreedictionary.com wrote:if the time is ripe for something, it is a good time to do it or for it to happen. "British socialists were convinced that the time was ripe for fundamental social change." (often + for) "Many employers feel the time is ripe to give workforces a bigger share of the profits they have helped to create." (often + to do something)

As you can see, the Party functionaries have penetrated the deepest reaches of Cyberspace, lighting the fires of class warfare in places the capitalist oppressors would least suspect! And they are #1 in Google too!

Here, let me chip in with another purely "linguistic" example: Many progressives feel the time is ripe to nationalize Google and use it for the Common Good on the ownerless Internet that will be neutral because it will be run by the government!

Comrade,after reading on to the other post all I can say is Oh.My.Supreme Leader who has lived forever and created the Universe,Lives in another Dimension and has the Ability to squash you like a bug. I enjoyed the way you went about your defense and [email protected]$%gling you just now you were #1,In Marx We trust,Out
Bob

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Columbus Day (traditionally October 12th) is always good for bashing. I consulted Wikipedia to see what else happened on that date. This was my favorite event:

<br>1773 - America's first insane asylum opens for 'Persons of Insane and Disordered Minds' in Virginia

Who else would it open for?

They will be able to celebrate Dec. 25 this year, as the day that Our Savior and Messiah, Barack Hussein Obama was born in a manger.

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And we really need to get over 9/11 already. I suggest we start by celebrating this marvelous, momentous event:

<br>1970 - The Ford Pinto is introduced.

Have you had a Ford break down on you lately?

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I seem to recall that Google has used a Thanksgiving themed logo in previous years. To what or whom are we supposed to be thankful? And WHY are we supposed to be thankful?

Obviously, they are wrecking their Progressive bona fides by not acknowledging "Thanksgiving" as a national day of shame and guilt.

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Columbus Day (traditionally October 12th) is always good for bashing.
In fact, Christopher Columbus was the first Marxist-Leninist. When he set out, he didn't know where he was going; when he got there, he didn't know where he was; and he did it all on someone else's money...

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Hm, I never thought of it that way before. As a schoolgirl, I was taught that Columbus was a great explorer, an entrepreneur, if you will, looking for a better, more prosperous way. But in more recent years, he's been portrayed as a sort of George W. Bush of the Renaissance Era, a man who invaded the New World, single-handedly slaughtered millions of innocent, peace-loving Native Americans, spread biological warfare, and destroyed the environment--the consequences of which still linger today. His illegal, immoral forays into the New World meant nothing but blood for spices--and maybe silks, fronted by the Spanish queen, backed by Big Spice and Big Silk.

But you've presented an interesting new angle, Red Square! As ruler of Spain, was Isabella not "The State"? And could we not make the case that Columbus was working under a government grant, as opposed to corporate sponsors?

As Betty would say, I'm so confused now.

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Sorry, Pinkie, I wasn't clear. It was an old Soviet joke for which someone no doubt served five years in Siberia, with lots of fresh air and shovel time. I'm sure you envy that comrade, down there in Florida, with the creeping Global Warming and such.

See here for more dissident jokes. I left one too, we'll see if it gets posted. https://timesonline.typepad.com/comment ... -on-t.html

Red Square on TimesOnline wrote:My favorite from the USSR (heard in the early 1980s):

THE SIX DIALECTICAL CONTRADICTIONS OF SOCIALISM

- There is full employment but nobody works.
- Nobody works but the quotas are fulfilled.
- The quotas were fulfilled but the stores are empty.
- The stores are empty but people got stuff at home.
- People got stuff at home but nobody is happy.
- Nobody is happy but the voting is unanimous.

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You really had me going there. I should be relieved the Current Truth about Columbus hasn't changed.

I enjoyed the link, especially the variations of the joke about Stalin and Lenin on the stalled train.

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Some people just don't get it. From the comments section in Red Square's linked post:

I can't wait for the Nazi jokes, Khmer Rouge shaggy dog stories or Rwanda genocide themed knock knock jokes.

You see, making fun of the Soviet Union is just in bad taste and anybody who thinks that anything about the Soviet Union might be subjected to humor is just a bad person.

these comments are why europe hates us and why we never win eurovision...

Because the most important thing in life is to be popular with the Europeans.

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What a great source to solve many yet unsolved crimes, this "joke" link:

Every day as they left the factory for home the workers were checked at the gate for contraband. Every day one worker appeared at the gate pushing a wheelbarrow holding a small stack of dirty straw. The KGB agent checked diligently every time but never found any contraband. Finally one day the KGB agent told the man, "I am retiring, today is my last day and I promise not to tell. I know you are stealing something. What are you stealing?"

The man replied, "wheelbarrows."

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OBAMA FOR PRESIDENT

Posted by: al arsenault | 4 Jun 2008 12:33:23
Genius!

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I knew most of those jokes back in the Motherland, and I did like the one about the wheelbarrows too, but one of my favorites was about the guy who was arrested for distributing blank leaflets, and when asked why blank, he said that the message was self-evident.

And speaking of the variations of the joke about Stalin and Lenin on the stalled train, I knew it in a much better version, and all of the mentioned ones had lost the punchline. You have to understand that it's a take on a popular song of the revolutionary period, which likened the Bolshevik Russia to a speeding train.

Our train is charging full steam ahead
We'll stop when we arrive in communism
There is no other route for us
Our hands are set on our rifles

So here's my version of the joke:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
It's the 1920s, and the revolutionary train comes to a halt because there are no more rails ahead. Lenin steps forward and says, "Comrades! Our revolution is in danger, the masses must organize and collectively sacrifice as much labor as humanly possible, quickly to build the road towards the glorious communist future and set this train in motion again!" And so the train keeps moving.

In the 1930s, the train stops again. Now it's Stalin who steps forward. "Why are we standing, comrades?" "There are no rails ahead, comrade Stalin!" So Stalin orders to shoot the conductor, arrest half of the passengers, and force them to build the road ahead. And so the train keeps moving.

In the 1950s the train stops again, with no rails ahead. Khrushchev steps forward and hustles everybody to take apart the rails from behind the train and put them in the font, move the train forward, then take the rails from the back and put them in the front again, and so on. And so the train keeps moving.

In the 1970s the train stops again and there are no more rails. Leonid Brezhnev considers the situation, then says: "Listen here. Let's put blinds on the windows, send operatives outside to rock the cars rhythmically, and blow the bullhorn as much as you can. Blow the bullhorn, comrades! What we need here is more bullhorn!
--------------------------------------------------------------

Of course the joke was of the Brezhnev era, so the bullhorn line was important. People would say this line alone in many different situations, and the others would know what is meant by it. Now it seems to be the main operational principle of the Democrat Party. Blow the bullhorn, comrades! What we need here is more bullhorn!

Or is it cowbell? Obama: same as Hillary but with more cowbell!

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Lenin wouldn't want it any other way:

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Ivan Betinov wrote:
these comments are why europe hates us and why we never win eurovision...

Because the most important thing in life is to be popular with the Europeans.

I recently finished a book by a famous historian which I will comment on later, and it was so interesting in that it put a lie to all we have seen these past few years. In this instance, the fact that one of the chapters he wrote was about 15 years ago, and europe was hating us then, the middle east hated us then, and the reason we were hated in the middle east had little to do with anything the US had done, and one of our bigger problems came from those within the US who take every opportunity to tear the US down.

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I thought I had posted this earlier, but apparently wreckers were loose. Clearly, November 11th must be examined to properly celebrate progressivism rather than those who fought for an imperialist warmongering regime. There were many events that happened on this day in alleged history. My personal choices are these:

1750 - The F.H.C. Society, also known as the Flat Hat Club, was formed at Raleigh Tavern, Williamsburg, Virginia. It was the first college fraternity.

1821 - Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Russian novelist birth (d. 1881)

1887 - Anarchist Haymarket Martyrs August Spies, Albert Parsons, Adolph Fischer and George Engel are executed.

1904 - Alger Hiss, American government official and spy birth (d. 1996)

1933 - Dust Bowl: In South Dakota, a very strong dust storm strips topsoil from desiccated farmlands.

1967 - Vietnam War: In a propaganda ceremony in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, three American prisoners of war are released by the Viet Cong and turned over to "new left" antiwar activist Tom Hayden.

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Columbus Day (traditionally October 12th) is always good for bashing. I consulted Wikipedia to see what else happened on that date. This was my favorite event:

<br>1773 - America's first insane asylum opens for 'Persons of Insane and Disordered Minds' in Virginia

Who else would it open for?

Read between the lines! It should say:

1773 - Capitalist Oppessors in America open their first 'insane asylum' to oppress and squash progressive minded peoples yearning for a workers paradise in Virginia.

O'Brien

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

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As stated in a previous blog thread. December 7th, 1928, is the birth of Noam Chomsky, not the date the Imperialist American Navy goaded the peaceful Japanese Navy in to a "sneak attack", so called. Everyone knows that Roosevelt knew about the attack. How do you think he had his speech ready so soon?

I want an Obama has more cow bell bumper sticker.

RIK

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote: ...sort of George W. Bush of the Renaissance Era, a man who invaded the New World, single-handedly slaughtered millions of innocent, peace-loving Native Americans, spread biological warfare, and destroyed the environment--the consequences of which still linger today. His illegal, immoral forays into the New World meant nothing but blood for spices--and maybe silks, fronted by the Spanish queen, backed by Big Spice and Big Silk.



Don't foreget, Pinkie, it's because they were brown.

RIK

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Rikalonius wrote:I want an Obama has more cow bell bumper sticker.

I am most disturbed by these pleas for Obama having more cow bell, or Obama having bigger bull horn etc. This could be interpreted as racist stereotyping if you catch my drift.

Just a thought....one I wish had not entered past my tin foil hat.

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Red Square wrote:Any more holidays you would like to recommend to our Google comrades? Create new holidays perhaps?

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A note on the margins:

As I googled "the time is ripe" idiom, the #1 site in the search was thefreedictionary.com, offering this subliminal Party propaganda, which is just as "neutral" as the one on Google.

thefreedictionary.com wrote:if the time is ripe for something, it is a good time to do it or for it to happen. "British socialists were convinced that the time was ripe for fundamental social change." (often + for) "Many employers feel the time is ripe to give workforces a bigger share of the profits they have helped to create." (often + to do something)

As you can see, the Party functionaries have penetrated the deepest reaches of Cyberspace, lighting the fires of class warfare in places the capitalist oppressors would least suspect! And they are #1 in Google too!

Here, let me chip in with another purely "linguistic" example: Many progressives feel the time is ripe to nationalize Google and use it for the Common Good on the ownerless Internet that will be neutral because it will be run by the government!
\
Da. That would be + to brainwash, take over, seize control, provide assistance in re-education.
Power to the Troddendown and Google the Magnificent.

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Communist jokes banned by politburo on Times Online.

A man dies and it is judgement day. "I am afraid you have not made it to heaven. But you can, as a special favour, have a choice of hells".

"What do you mean, a choice of hells?" "You can go to the capitalist hell or the communist hell".

"Ok, fair enough, but what's the difference between them?" "Well, the capitalist hell has fire and brimstone and torture." "And the communist hell?" "That has brimstone and torture and fire".

"I don't understand. They sound exactly the same. Which should I pick?"

"If I were you I'd choose the communist hell."

"Why should I do that?"

"Well, you know what these socialist places are like. Sometimes there's no fire, sometimes there's no brimstone, sometimes there's no torture........."

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Why don't they celebrate their own birthday, the day Google was originally conceived, the day Google was first used, and every day that it is used more than 5 times!

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Comrades,

I think Dogpile.com is the way to go Not only is the name redolent of the most aromatic returns of web searches, it usually works fairly well. And every good former kulak who manages to survive all-expenses-paid tours to Gulagia knows how handy manure (real or virtual dogpile) can be.

Were Google to change all its letters to red exclusively, I might be more willing to believe its revolutionary claims than assume it to be milking our bleeding hearts.

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I denounce Dogpile as a derogatory, anti-canine site with it's unfair and slanderous connection between the noble canine and a natural, Gaia refreshing function.


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May I suggest to the Party we make November 5th (The glorious day of the overthrow of greedy capitalist in the former Russia, the Oktober Revolution for the unwashed) the new gift giving day. It would be like that "Ex-mas" day I heard of. I heard it from Our Savior Barack Obama on the Telescreen. He was talking of some day where people gave gifts to other comrades for no reason otherwise.

My point is, this would highlight the true nature of our glorious Communism. We give, because we all agree to it, due to Party regulations of course.

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What is this "give" concept you are suggesting comrade? I can only hope you mean give to the Party?

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Commissar Pupovich wrote:What is this "give" concept you are suggesting comrade? I can only hope you mean give to the Party?

The "Party Regulations" part honorable chairman, we give to The Party and they give back to the people, this is what I heard The Party would do, but if they see fit to have different plans for the "gift", they will use the gift in an honorable way for the betterment of The Party for glorousness of the people. Please send not the ThoughtPolice to my house honorable chairman.


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Anonymous wrote:morons.
Another brilliant, enlightened comment! Such wit and wisdom wrapped up into one single word! If only my arguments could be so thought-provoking and vivid!!

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Guest's zinger calls to attention to the need for "Ready-to-Post Comments for Trolls" (or something like that).

Think about it. These people are incapable of expressing an original thought; you know what fiends they are about copying and pasting stuff out of their collective echo chamber. Guest didn't have time to dip into the leftosphere archives for an appropriate rebuttal; he was obviously on his lunch break. (Since the welfare office shuts down for lunch, what the hell else should he do until his number is called?)

If only he had ready access to a comment written by someone else, just waiting for him to copy and paste it here, he wouldn't come off looking more (or would it be less?) than the very thing he was ultimately compelled to post.

Therefore, I propose we start something, perhaps in the People's Tools, where we could post an assortment of sample comments for drive-by trolls to conveniently copy and paste into whatever thread outrages them. Because you only have so much time before your number is called.

Take as an example the troll(s) posting in this popular thread:

http://www.thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=869

It's either one Muslim troll posting what's basically the same old comment over and over again ("u people shouldn't make fun of Islam, if u only read the Quran and i mean a real copy u would see Islam is very peaceful and all love and Muslims never kill anyone yada yada"), or a bunch of Muslim trolls all copying and pasting that same old comment from one source.

And it all comes back to the old, "If you repeat it often enough . . ."

Either way, the Muslims have established a highly efficient system for trolling. I'm merely suggesting we steal it for Party use on the Cube. Obviously ours will not be so efficient, but you get the idea.

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Guest's zinger calls to attention to the need for "Ready-to-Post Comments for Trolls" (or something like that).

Now that's a great idea! Something like:

There's no need to try and think. Troll, to counter the hatred and bigotry you've found here just cut and paste one of these ready-made thought provoking arguments (we even spelled them properly for you):

1.) You're stupid.

2.) You're stupid!

3.) You're a big stupid-head!

4.) Stupid.

5.) I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!

6.) I hope you die, you hate-filled stupid nazi pig!!!

These timeless irrefutable truths will win many an argument for you!

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Comrade Margaret, You forgot the most important ones:

1.) I hate George Bush!

2.) George Bush is a Nazi!

3.) Capitalist Oppressor!

4.) I married a tree today.

You know thinking on this there are in fact so many combinations as well (Stupid George Bush is a Nazi!) (I married a tree today and you're a stupid Capitalist Oppressor)

Maybe we could modify the Group Name Picker Progressive Truth Generator....

O'Brien

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH


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Red Square wrote:You probably mean Progressive Truth Generator

Well yes, isn't that what I said in my original post? I'm pretty sure I did, and the Ministry of Truth is never wrong....


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O'Brien

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

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It's just that typing out "digitally lobotomized, Faux News addicted, knuckle-dragging, Bush-worshiping 19 percenter" got pretty old after about the third time I typed it. So imagine how repetitiously painful it must be for our little troll friends! Unless they have some PCP (Pick, Click, and Paste) program such as I propose, they're getting a very particular type of carpal tunnel syndrome, and I would not be surprised if the Mime, for one, was getting disability checks from the government for it.

That, and we need a standard answer for critics of the Obamessiah (the following is only a rough draft):

Racist! Ignoramus! Uninformed! Your petty smears and attacks only distract The People from The Real Issues! You obviously don't know anything about Obama or the great plans he has for America! If you did, you wouldn't keep harping on (pick any one or all of the following): Reverend Wright, the Rezko affair, Father Pfleger, Reverend Wright, Obama's middle name, his birth certificate, Reverend Wright, Bill Ayers, the so-called "whitey video", Reverend Wright, those vicious rumors that Obama's really a Muslim (not that there's anything wrong with that), Reverend Wright. Why don't you educate yourself on the important things that matter about Obama? Things that show he's just like you and me, things that transcend the politics-as-usual mindset in Washington? Things like the fist bump, and how he's inspired the latest men's fashions in Milan! He's going to be our next President whether you like it or not, so get over it! GObama 08!

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"digitally lobotomized, Faux News addicted, knuckle-dragging, Bush-worshiping 19 percenter"

We are lucky, after all, we can simply refer to them as "gulag gruel."

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Plus it's easier to say and doesn't make my head hurt... as much....

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In fact, a standard set of copy-and-paste blocks of text to argue on 'real issues' can be posted in the People's Tools.

Of course, 'the real issues' are the ones that arise from the progressive mindset (or a Marxist frame of reference). They arise slowly and steadily like miasma vapors from a bog. In order to deal with them, a 19 percenter must step inside the progressive frame of reference and get bogged down. (Or is it blogged down?)

We must never forget that any issues arising from outside the progressive mind are not 'the real issues' and shouldn't be even paid attention to.

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Red Square wrote:We must never forget that any issues arising from outside the progressive mind are not 'the real issues' and shouldn't be even paid attention to.
Yes, divisive distractions. And how to deal with 'the real issues' are, of course, subject to change.

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I believe the People's Eraser in your hands is a great way to deal with distractions Mikhail.


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IceGirl wrote:But what does your bullhorn mean?

And why does a bullhorn have to mean anything Comrade Ice Girl? Meaning is such an imperialist notion. In the Progressive World of Next... er Last Tuesday, all meaning is relative if it exists at all. The Party decides what meaning means, and it will always mean the same thing, unless of course we decide to change the meaning.I hope that clears everything up?


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Premier Betty wrote:Wait... now I'm confused.

Then my job is complete Premier!

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I noticed that on this day, Google's logo isn't decorated for Cinco de Mayo. I can only assume that in solidarity with Obama, they chose to celebrate yesterday by decorating their logo for Cinco de Cuatro.

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way to go, Obama...my anniversary (Cuatro de Mayo) is forever marred by your inability to speak spanish, "joo betta learn, puto!"

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Memorial Day 2010 falls on May 31st - 9 days away.

Let's see what Google comes up with.


 
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