Comrades, I confess, for a brief while my thoughts began to deviate from the Party Line. I began to question why we are allied with the Muslims, who have the unfortunate tendency to put communists to death, among other unprogessive tendencies. I mean, we love Ahmadinejad because he is a terrorist dictator elected People's Leader sworn to the destruction of Amerikkka and Da Jooos. We love homosexuals, because their lifestyle has come to epitomize decadence and the general breakdown in Amerikkkan values. But Ahmadinejad's regime has people killed for being homosexual:


Surely a contradiction, no? Comrades?

If you just agreed with that, report yourself to the nearest reeducation camp at once, kkkapitalist pig thoughtcriminal!

Anyway, my Inner Prog thankfully recognized such thughtcrime, and I turned myself over to the Party for reeducation. Now I see why we love Muslims so much, they hate KKKhristians:
~


After all, we all remember how Christians rioted to demand the execution of a teacher who allowed her class to name a teddy bear "Jesus" don't we? KKKhristians are kkkapitalist, fascist, intolerant pigs who must be surpressed and eliminated by the Party on the way to the glorious World of Next Tuesday. Muslims hate them and hate Amerikkka. Therefore, we are friends. It certainly has nothing to do with us being gutless, cowardly, politically correct dhimmi cockroaches:

Perhaps, Comrade Joe, the homosexuals who were executed were carrying Bibles, and they were (perfectly understandably) executed for that, and they simply happened to be gay. All of them. Purely coincidence.

Comrade Joe, I believe you have exposed our inner struggle which we must put down for the good of the Party and the Cause for which we refuse to bathe (I'm with the 99%).

Comrades, it's as simple as this: The Party owns Sense™ and therefore can suspend it as it becomes necessary to do so. Questioning this policy is a thoughtcrime so get that doubt out of your head right now.

King Hussein of Amerika knows his proper place in the Muslim world. He heeds their wishes and gives them super secret stealth drones for presents.

FRAUD I say! I denounce your depiction of Ahmendinijad as a 36B-cup !