Image

Voting 2020

User avatar
Well, Comrades, yesterday I did it.

I drove into town and stood in line for 30 minutes, I was sanitized by a County election official, stood in line for another 10 minutes until (because I am a white male) I was required to produce mandatory Government approved identity documents. A masked and gloved worker handed me a pen and forced me to sign a sticker verifying I had identified myself as a Citizen living in the County and my appropriate voting precinct, and given a pencil (with eraser) to use as a stylus on the voting machine so that I didn't have to touch it.

They gave me a 4-digit code to enter on the voting machine (using the pencil eraser) to activate a ballot, and I was herded toward a voting machine.

After entering the code, I marveled at the ballot, as the Stazi of Texazistan has removed the option to vote a straight party ticket, so I had to read and sort through each and all of the D's and R's, the occasional Green Party, and even a Libertarian candidate or two! Nobody slapped my hand when I reached the eraser toward a non-party approved candidate (just testing to see if anyone was checking...) and I completed an early ballot (just the one). I was not threatened, intimidated, forced to chant anything about anyone's life that mattered. I just voted.

On the way out, I dropped the pencil in the "recycle" box where it will be sterilized and re-used by another voter, and was even given a nifty "I VOTED" sticker to wear in line that night for my evening meal ration!

I am considering donating my sticker to be placed on the grave marker of the departed Justice Ruth Bader-Ginsburg, as she has yet to cast her ballot(s).

But I confess, comrades. I kept the pen.

User avatar
Yo,

You got a Pen! And a pencil?

[attachment=0]1_BlogGraphic-ElectronicSignature-v1-01.png[/attachment]
They made me sanitize myself. Made me use a finger-condom to digitally sign the pad verifying that I was me under the mask that didn't match my photo ID.

Then they made me clean the vote machine with a tiny alcohol wipe. It was so degrading. I must remember to send Harris County the itemized bill for my time and labor.

And the rubber was way too small.




[attachment=1]temp2PacSignature.png[/attachment]

User avatar
Sounds just like the bread lines in the old country. Wait in line for hours and get nothing but promises. Those were the days.

User avatar
Cradle to Grave Marxist wrote:Yo,

...

And the rubber was way too small.




[attachment=1]temp2PacSignature.png[/attachment]
How many times have I said THAT?!

User avatar
But comrade Ivan, why didn't you vote 500 times?

User avatar
Ellsworth Toohey wrote:
Cradle to Grave Marxist wrote:Yo,

...

And the rubber was way too small.




[attachment=1]temp2PacSignature.png[/attachment]
How many times have I said THAT?!

Have Mercy you guys!


Image

Haven't been to vote yet. I enjoy being in the dreaded 'UNAFILIATED' voter group that keeps them guessing. I might wait until the actual day and go to my local volunteer fire department voter location where they can hose me down before and after I vote to sanitize me from the Chyna Virus.

I did go get my hair 'did' where I had to wear a mask and when I paid in cash I was instructed to drop it in the sink where it was WASHED. Hope my hair grows fast enough to go back and get another cut before the Chyna Virus expiration date of 11-3-20 so I can write a check.

User avatar
Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote:
Ellsworth Toohey wrote:
Cradle to Grave Marxist wrote:Yo,

...

And the rubber was way too small.

How many times have I said THAT?!

Have Mercy you guys!


Image
...

I did go get my hair 'did' where I had to wear a mask and when I paid in cash I was instructed to drop it in the sink where it was WASHED. Hope my hair grows fast enough to go back and get another cut before the Chyna Virus expiration date of 11-3-20 so I can write a check.

Yo,

[attachment=1]1_check-washing.jpg[/attachment]

I love "washing checks."

For The Party™, of course.

For The Party™.




[attachment=0]temp2PacSignature.png[/attachment]

User avatar
We were thinking about voting, and then we thought, we already did and dead! 100 times! Necroproxy vote NOW!!!

User avatar
Minitrue wrote:But comrade Ivan, why didn't you vote 500 times?

Rest easy, Comrade-- I'm expecting a box of ballots in the mail any day now...

User avatar
Most Esteemed Komrads,

I made the mistake of becoming a People's Notary recently. Then this COVID thing hit. In The Missouri People's Republic mail in ballots must be notarized. I have had many requests to notarize ballots. The best one was someone who wanted me to notarize 30 ballots. She said she would sign all 30 in front of me, with different names, for her "friends", so my notarization would be legal, and she didn't want to pay for my "services". I declined her kind offer to commit multiple pro-bono felonies and made a call to the local Party Office. Really, she could at least be more circumspect for the children.

Continually amazed in the Current Truth ™,

Red Salmon

User avatar
Red Salmon wrote:...

She said she would sign all 30 in front of me, with different names, for her "friends", so my notarization would be legal, and she didn't want to pay for my "services". I declined her kind offer to commit multiple pro-bono felonies and made a call to the local Party Office. Really, she could at least be more circumspect for the children.

Continually amazed in the Current Truth ™,

Red Salmon

The fact that she didn't spread the wealth with you demonstrates that she wasn't really a Party™ member. I bet she was a Rethuglican.

User avatar
Most Equal Cradle to Grave Marxist,

I didn't ask. However she did have the requisite Harris/Biden Biden/Harris, and Black Lives Matter signs in her front window. It could have been for show. So crafty these Rethuglicans!

Red Salmon

User avatar
Red Salmon wrote:Most Esteemed Komrads,

I made the mistake of becoming a People's Notary recently. Then this COVID thing hit. In The Missouri People's Republic mail in ballots must be notarized. I have had many requests to notarize ballots. The best one was someone who wanted me to notarize 30 ballots. She said she would sign all 30 in front of me, with different names, for her "friends", so my notarization would be legal, and she didn't want to pay for my "services". I declined her kind offer to commit multiple pro-bono felonies and made a call to the local Party Office. Really, she could at least be more circumspect for the children.

Continually amazed in the Current Truth ™,

Red Salmon

Wow!! and that palindrome is really massive here.

Most equal Red Salmon, you actually met The Arianna Huffington - "those planes were flying there, anyway" Citizen Voter woking to get all her imaginary friends to the polls.

That's a whole voter demographic that has been neglected for too long.

Amazing Current Truth, ain't it forelocktug?
'pelipsky

User avatar
Well Komrades, I decided to skip the 'firehouse hosing' and vote early. I did get a FREE ink pen because once handled it could be infected with the Chyna Virus. Had to be careful to NOT TOUCH THE MACHINE when I inserted my paper ballot with the little filled in circles like back in school.

Now..........................


User avatar
Komrade Ivan, your reporting is so photorealistically precise that I can vividly see you entering the glorious Texazistani Anti-Coronal People's Voting Palazzo.

Here you stride, under the stern watch of People's Voting Commissars, fully equipped with People's Voting Paraphernalia (as figured out by our Kollektive's hiveminding: goggles, full hazmat, plugs in all precious bodily holes, clown nose, hijaburka (plus gloves), inside a stick vac canister, plus Bubble-Boy-wrapped, and all them – given your Stakhanov-grade mechanical skills – even supplementally reinforced, da?).


Only one mysterious detail:
Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:... I was sanitized by a County election official ...
By Lenin's Glory (and given your abovementioned equipment), what exactly did that Commissar to you?????

User avatar
After inspecting to see that I was wearing a mask, and NOT wearing political sloganeering propaganda clothing or buttons, she pulled a spray bottle of "disinfectant" or so she said, and sprayed my hands.

One can only hope that is was an invisible ink that will mark my intended votes, thus modernizing the "dumped chad" of days gone by...

I felt dirty, and wanted only to wash when it was over.

User avatar
Ivan,

Good thing you were not registered as a Republican. She would have injected you with Clorox just to be thorough.

User avatar
Red Salmon wrote:Most Esteemed Komrads,

I made the mistake of becoming a People's Notary recently. Then this COVID thing hit. In The Missouri People's Republic mail in ballots must be notarized. I have had many requests to notarize ballots. The best one was someone who wanted me to notarize 30 ballots. She said she would sign all 30 in front of me, with different names, for her "friends", so my notarization would be legal, and she didn't want to pay for my "services". I declined her kind offer to commit multiple pro-bono felonies and made a call to the local Party Office. Really, she could at least be more circumspect for the children.

Continually amazed in the Current Truth ™,

Red Salmon
Red Salmon and other esteemed comrades!

Please vistit this website to report any irregularities or educate yoursleves about the existing ones. This is an order.

EveryLegalVote.com

How do I know it can be trusted? Let's just say I know some people who know some people...

User avatar
I'm having second thoughts about voting Biden/Harris. Can I get all my ballots back?

User avatar
Margaret wrote:I'm having second thoughts about voting Biden/Harris. Can I get all my ballots back?
Once the bullets leave the gun, you cannot redirect the outcome, unless you had condom, have plan b, or get Dr Margaret Sanger's services in time.

I guess, if it helps The PartyTM, you can redirect ballots.

User avatar
Margaret wrote:I'm having second thoughts about voting Biden/Harris. Can I get all my ballots back?
Not until they have all been photocopied and "cured" enough times to overcome the number of Trump votes where needed.


 
POST REPLY