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Toys 'R' Us offers child-bride wedding registry

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Muslim_Child_Marriage_Registry_ToysRus.jpg
In order to accommodate a growing population of religious minorities in America who engage in underage marriage, the children's toy store chain will offer a wedding registry service. The decision comes after toy maker Mattel announced its decision to begin supplying head coverings with next year's Barbie lineup.

"A company like Toys 'R' Us must remain nimble enough to adapt to a changing culture." offered the company's CEO. "We are simply trying to meet the demand of a growing segment of our population that does not adhere to traditional American mores.

The move is seen as a real boon to the retailer, with the massive increase of migrant refugees from the middle east, whose male members can marry up to four girls as young as six years old.

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My goodness, those young girls look wise beyond their years. And, sad.

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Do they also have a bridal registry for goat-brides?

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Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote:Do they also have a bridal registry for goat-brides?

I don't know -- but they carry the Barnyard Barbie Play Farm!

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I wonder if they will replace the decadent board games section with some islamosensitive replacements:

Monopoly could become Caliphate.

Operation could become Torture

Game of Life can have such life decisions as 'marry a child' or 'become a suicide bomber' or simply be a 'moderate enabler'.

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Good to see you back, Kopernicus-ski!

What about your board game?!
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My comrades should forgive me for being so aspirational as to appear on the box!

I felt I deserved some recognition for distributing frog meat equally to the remaining players.

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No worries, Kopernicus-ski,
We all know you're a good man. And, I really mean that.

When you pick up your child bride at elementary school and she seems bored and when kinky sex does not cheer her up you must do as the Imam says and bring her to get some toys. 'Toys r' us' has a full line of Muslim friendly dolls and Barbies. If you have found that special someone who has finally hit 6 years old you can bribe her father to marry her and she can get her bridal registry filled at America's favorite toy store, Toys-R-Us. She can get her toys and her Barbie play oven and all her plates, pots, and pans....at Toys-R-Us. After you have used your child bride and she is still able to walk,....tell her to get up and get those plastic pots and pans moving and fix you some dinner in true Muslim style. Yes.....when your 6yr old wife is unhappy,.....everyone is not happy.

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Boink! I think I'm gonna barf.............................Blaaaaatgch! Spit! Spit!

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Who says Islam is against fun and games? Here is an inflatable mosque for child-bride weddings / play parties where a child bride can have a great time with her playmates.

[img]/images/various_uploads/Inflatable_Mosque.jpg[/img]

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With a bit of ingenuity, insha'Allah, that design could be adapted into an Inflatable Child Bride. Aloha Snackbar!

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[img]/images/various_uploads/MuslimWives_Period.jpg[/img]


 
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