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Mysterious earthquake in Arlington explained

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Comrades,

In the past few weeks the glorious people's army of the united soviets of north america released some recruitment videos.

For those who missed it: small overview of this glorious agitprop (the Cube itself could not have done it better): at dailymail.com.

After seeing this material, I did not know if I wanted to laugh or cry - from joy, of course.

Minutes after the release of the last video, a strange vibration was felt at Arlington cemetery. Scientific scientists (the stewards of Science here on earth) have - after careful research - put forth two hypotheses.The first, and most plausible, is that the vibration was caused by the simultaneous spinning in their graves of the veterans buried there.

Another hypothesis is that the vibration was a distant after-shock caused by the spontaneous dancing and foot-stamping that erupted in the Chinese politbureau meeting after the screening of this recruitment material.

I feel very safe knowing that the US army has as its top priority the recruitment of the very wokest of the woke. After all, that's what an army is for: to make sure every single group that feels victimized by society feels warm and fluffy.

Gwont is near, my comrades!

Minitrue

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Perhaps this is a new weapon, i.e., to cause so much laughter in the enemy that he is unable to aim correctly.

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Spinnin' graves teamed together could chunnel under Potomac and send seismic shifts of political climate change.




Does Cho Bae Din really want to mess with the science??


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COMING SOON:

The U.S. Army will deploy these "safe spaces" all over its battlefields for the snowflakes it recruits with its cringeworthy ads.It's air tight and soundproof so real soldiers won't have to hear the whimpering or smell the soiled pants.

Bubble pavillion.jpg

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Colonel Obyezyana wrote:COMING SOON:

The U.S. Army will deploy these "safe spaces" all over its battlefields for the snowflakes it recruits with its cringeworthy ads.It's air tight and soundproof so real soldiers won't have to hear the whimpering or smell the soiled pants.

Bubble pavillion.jpg
But where are the coloring books and cuddly toys?

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RedDiaperette wrote: But where are the coloring books and cuddly toys?

Don't know about those, but they'll also have self-inflating crying bubbles as part of their kit.

Crying Bubbles.jpg

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RedDiaperette wrote:
Colonel Obyezyana wrote:COMING SOON:

The U.S. Army will deploy these "safe spaces" all over its battlefields for the snowflakes it recruits with its cringeworthy ads.It's air tight and soundproof so real soldiers won't have to hear the whimpering or smell the soiled pants.

Bubble pavillion.jpg
But where are the coloring books and cuddly toys?
In their back fanny packs. No need for ammo and military junk in the new army.

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Wait a dang reset moment. If those woke bubbles are not fully equipped with solar paneled HVAC comfort controls...

Well, livin' in a plastocarbon bubble, in Texazistan, is just full of greenhouse gas.


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<off>
Ouch.
<on>

Plural pronouns for the "Army of One?" How have we come to this can this be?


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Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:... Plural pronouns for the "Army of One?" How [...] can this be?
Now, now.. c'mon Ivan, we old school much?
Look: One can identify as Multitude, can't xzeq?


 
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