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Liberal Erectile Function

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It is time we sit down and have a rather frank discussion comrades.

Penis.

There. I said it. A simple reproductive organ that most men, and many women are so emotionally involved in, only an Obamagasm can distract them. After many liters of vodka, I have reached the unmistakable conclusion that this small body part is responsible for modern liberalism and progressive thought as we know it.

Or rather it's lack of function.

Jealousy. Envy. Hatred of all that is different. Fear of those who can, when we cannot. Are these not the fundamental tenants of liberalism? Equality means making sure everyone is equally wretched and miserable, save for a few deserving and superior persons who will enforce this glorious equality.

They can get it up, or get some when they want it.

Let's face it. Most progressives. Can't get it up, or get any when they want it. It makes them sad, angry, and causes them to throw fits of childlike rage. But there is Hope(TM). The Colonel 7.62 Foundation, in conjuction with Lt. Just_a_Car's Boot Camp for Dissidents, wishes to announce a groundbreaking new discovery.

Regular erections cause liberal males to stop behaving like spoiled petulant children, and start acting like responsible adults who take personal responsibility for their actions, think for themselves, and seek to have minimal government control over their lives. We must stop this dangerous erectile function at once! (Except for approved Inner Party(TM) members of course. It is proven that Inner Party members require more sexual stimulation than the average prole. And apples. We get the apples too.)

Currently we are developing a five year plan for funding, which will lead to a five year plan to solve the problem in picking a research team. Afterwards, we will launch another five year plan to determine the cause of erectile function. Once we have determined the cause, we will require more funding, and can then start an Awareness(TM) campaign so that we may once and for all someday down the road find a cure for EF.

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Just look at this, this will control ALL EF........repeated use will eventually cause ALL functions, "down there" to cease and desist !!!

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Colonel 7.62 wrote: we may once and for all someday down the road find a cure for EF.

I'm sure Dear Leader will not rest until he has the cure.

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Oh my, so much to ponder.... let's see.... where shall I began.... ah yes, with the penis male appendage. It is like great, great grandmama used to say, "you can't live with one and you can't kill it". Never mind, on second thought, I will move to thought #2. "A simple reproductive organ that most men, and many women are so emotionally involved in, only an Obamagasm can distract them". This is most accurate; simple indeed, as it the owner of such simplicity. There should not be so much emotion over simple function. As you say, we have Obama and Obamagasm which is more progressively satisfying. We can swoon over him anytime, with or without a cigarette, can we not?

But I must denounce you for: "Regular erections cause liberal males to stop behaving like spoiled petulant children, and start acting like responsible adults who take personal responsibility for their actions, think for themselves, and seek to have minimal government control over their lives." Where would we be without our spoiled petulant male chidrens?! Where would we be if they acted like "responsible adults" and not depending on benevolent government handouts? We would be a still functioning capitalist country, is where, and where would that be? That would be without our dear socialist Leader.
I am hoping you will rethink your think or unthink it altogether.

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Years ago I was with a travelling Snake Oil circus, one of the sideshow acts off the Midway. I had an iguana named Jerome who could juggle tiny little balls while tap dancing. I'd get out front and shill for the rubes, then whip back into the tent to start Jerome's music. He could really wow them with his act performed to "Hello My Baby," his little toenails clicking like castenets while the balls blurred around him.

Then Jerome starrted hitting the bottle. At first it was just a nip or two after we'd shut down for the night...It got to where he'd sit up late, strumming his guitar and singing sad songs in Spanish with a bottle of tequila beside him. Then he started hitting the sauce between sets. His coordination began to suffer. He started missing simple passes. Toward the end, he even lost the ability to be bipedal; he'd just lay there, limp, rolling his little balls around between hits on the bottle.

And that's how I lost my job due to a reptile dysfunction.

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Colonel, have you been using the wormhole generator to visit with Sigmund Freud? Let me just remind you of what Freud said and Bill Clinton endorsed...

"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar"

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Comrade Betinov,

The possibility exists that you may have sampled some undocumented mind altering substances in solid or liquid form. This caused your grip on reality to slide off.

None the less we are here for you as you seek treatment.

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Comrade Pulloskis, I am denouncing your denouncing. The idea is for the proles to continue behaving like spoiled petulant children. That is why we must stop LEF before it becomes widespread.

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"Regular erections cause liberal males to stop behaving like spoiled petulant children, and start acting like responsible adults who take personal responsibility for their actions.."

I am seeing what someone prevented me from seeing earlier. [I am thinking that was due to invisible reichwing signals sent by Sarah Palin or some of her minions.] Although I must denounce your denounce of my denouncement. (since I am a loyal Party Member and do not accept denouncements when I am Czar of Denouncements)
I must agree that young and old proles must continue along the path of spoiled, petulant childlike behaviors. And this proves, erections are a bad thing, does it not. Maybe a 'cease and desist' order, should go out?

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Komrade Double D wrote:
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Just look at this, this will control ALL EF........repeated use will eventually cause ALL functions, "down there" to cease and desist !!!
Ack! The manifest horrors of a "food desert"!

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Comrade Colonel,

The most endearing characteristic possessed by said clientele is, flatulence.

The eternal state of emptiness!

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Comrade Colonel, we already have the solution to the problem of how to keep the young progressive male person's mind on the Revolution and off of decadent recreational activity. It is called "progressive womyn"....

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This is just the sort of false optics that I hate. Where is the FCC tobanregulate such hate speech? This makes all of us Liberal-Progressive women look like a closet of uglies, which we know, we are not.

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Sometimes I wonder how progressives manage to reproduce at all. I think there are test tubes and turkey basters or something involved.

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Colonel 7.62 wrote:Sometimes I wonder how progressives manage to reproduce at all. I think there are test tubes and turkey basters or something involved.
Speak for yourself. My pants burst into flames when I catch a glimpse of Helen Thomas. She's all woman and when she takes her teeth out and wig off... Would a rose be a rose by any other name?

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Comrade INGSOC, you have made all Progressive womanhood feel appreciated and desirous, I am sure. Alone in our thoughts, we are proud to have burning pants.... I mean, to cause burning pants. Praise Obama......... and Viagra.

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Frau, your poster is missing some faces...

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ha ha ha, Whoopie, you make us laugh (and without one of those jokes, no less). Do you not think we know when we are seeing deceased corps corpse? You are such the jokester!

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Hmmm...

"Regular erections cause liberal males to stop behaving like spoiled petulant children, and start acting like responsible adults who take personal responsibility for their actions, think for themselves, and seek to have minimal government control over their lives."

Colonel, how can you be knowing of such things?

Have you been for having the regular erections and then were for having conservative thinkings?

In name of science I can be for offering my self for experientation with the many hunky males of the collective and be for seeing if the regular erections are for giving them the mind of the conservative (spit spit) just practicing

Am I not as much the beauty as the Nazi Pelloski? I know I can not be for being of such beauty as the MTE, but I am of certainness I am more of beauty than the Gawdafullo person!

I am certain more of the Gulag Gals will be for wanting to be of such experimentation all so.

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Here you go Mrs. Al, a hunky guy whose Party member is in need of erecting.

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OH MY, that is one hunky ED candidate, is it not, Mrs. Al? I am thinking you should make the sacrifice for science and I will entertain... see to it that Misha is kept busy in the beet field. If we, the Glorious Gulag Gals, are not able to make this poor comrade stand at attention, then no one can. Well, possibly Comrade Buffoon or Theo, depending upon his bent, but I see no reason why you and your glorious beard are not up for the job.

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Mrs. Al, there are just some things I refuse to discuss in polite company. However, you know the address to my bunker.

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Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:Comrade INGSOC, you have made all Progressive womanhood feel appreciated and desirous, I am sure. Alone in our thoughts, we are proud to have burning pants.... I mean, to cause burning pants. Praise Obama......... and Viagra.

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Would anyone doubt this man's taste in women?

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No, INGSOC, and just think out grand she must have appeared when alive. (what?? Oh, she is? o m g)

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Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:No, INGSOC, and just think out grand she must have appeared when alive. (what?? Oh, she is? o m g)
I have photos in succession of this one that are far too hot for prole eyes. He's not just holding her hand but guiding it! This was one hell of a party! If you've ever seen "Eyes-Wide-Shut" you know what I mean.

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Colonel 7.62 wrote:Sometimes I wonder how progressives manage to reproduce at all. I think there are test tubes and turkey basters or something involved.


So you are saying progressive women conceive offspring when squirted with liquid and placed in an oven? This explains much.


 
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