Jane Fonda Supports Islamic Freedom Fighters

Elsworth Toohey

Jane Fonda Plans Anti-War Bus Tour

Greetings Comrades,

I have the most glorious news from those rightwing fascists over at Fox News. Our sister in arms and friend to the North Vietnamese, Jane Fonda, is picking up where she left off in the 60's and is joining the cause to assist the Freedom fighters for Islam in Iraq. And in honor of the most glorious and successful attacks in London, out folk hero has decided to kick off her campaign for the end of American aggresion and occupation in Iraq by starting a nationwide double-decker bus tour. Just as she mimiced shooting down American planes and riding in tanks with the NVA, Fonda will strap on a bomb and ride threw the cities of America and re-enact the brave actions of our brothers in London.

What a glorious day, indeed. Welcome back, Jane "Why yes, I can see the American planes from here" Fonda!



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Ha ha! The old girl still has it!

She was "down in the dumps" when she came to see me! Her grotesque jowls and sagging eyes projected a "hound-dog" look worthy of contempt. In addition her flabby, flat boobies were no more enticing than the nose of "Snoopy" from the subversive comic book "Peanuts"

With several strokes of my scalpel, one pound of putty and three ounces of injectables, she was ready for "Meet the Fokkers!" Now she is "back on her high horse" where she belongs! Go get 'em Hanoi Jane! (And pay me the rest of what you owe me or else).

Pervy Sickerton
Fonda said <b>her anti-war tour in March will use a bus that runs on "vegetable oil."</b>

I have it on the highest authority that her bus is not the only thing that requires vegetable oil to work properly!

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She's also planning the construction of a modified VW van that runs on aborted fetuses

VW Representative
That is correct, Kommissar Betty --

Everyone remembers the classic hippy-mobile the "Volkswagen Beetle." With some clever wordplay, you get the NEW "VOLKSWAGEN FEETLE!" We Germans have not stopped innovating!

As you know, "Volkswagen" is German for "People's Car." Now that will be literally true in so many ways! Should not the "People's Car" run on people?

The Feetle will get upwards of ten miles to the fetus. While that is nice, one must not forget that Fetal Stem Cells can be grown in culture forever! These stem cells are an unending source of fuel! Say goodbye to greenhouse gases! Of course, emissions from the Feetle will be classified a biohazard, and respirators will need to be worn by the occupants of the vehicle and by the general public in the vicinity.

The interior will come in all colors including Mulatto, Octaroon, Caucasian, Asian, Eskimo and Hispanic, and will of course be genuine human leather.

It seats a thousand, 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 996 in the ash tray.

Elsworth Toohey
Leonid Fuku wrote: Go get 'em Hanoi Jane!

Your salute to our folk hero is both dated and a misnomer. Hanoi Jane is the Jane Fonda of the Vietnam Era. That Jane has been re-programmed and re-invented. "Hanoi" Jane also doesn't roll off of the tongue as easily as some other names. We need to be aware of what we have learned in our sloganeering and propaganda teachings. The best way for us to have our message resonate with the people is with the use of alliteration and rhymes (Jesse Jackson is a master at this). "Hanoi" Jane does not fit into our present agenda. That is why I suggest that we call our newly energized revolutionary "Jihadist" Jane. The use of alliteration with the "J"s will surely rally our base and get them behind Jane's efforts to support our brave freedom fighters in Iraq as they stand down the foreign aggressors in their war for oil and democracy.

PS: "Jalalabad" Jane, "Fallujah" Fonda, and "Baghdad" Barberella were also considered.

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Jihad Jane wrote:Sorry folks

I am Jihad Jane, a little lady Jihadist from Yemen with a sack full of prescription explosives and the washer timers to make 'em do magic! So THE NAME IS TAKEN!

Call this hag something else!

How about Jane the about-to-be-run-over-by-a-steamroller?

-Kommissar Betty

George Jetson
Jane, stop this crazy thing........................

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Whatever happened to Jane's big anti-war bus tour? That never did pan out did it?

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Comrade Otis wrote:

Whatever happened to Jane's big anti-war bus tour? That never did pan out did it?

Fonda said her anti-war tour in March will use a bus that runs on "vegetable oil." She will be joined by families of Iraq war veterans and her daughter.

That may have something to do with it...

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Elsworth Toohey wrote:That may have something to do with it...

Oh, the poor woman. And after all those civic minded folks decorated for the festivities.

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