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How to Be a Good Politically Correct Liberal

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Author of this piece is unknown. It has become part of the Internet folklore. We simply combined various versions here. We recommend that you use it as an icebreaker during therapy meetings, as well as pickup lines in singles bars, to make sure you don't wind up sleeping with a class enemy.
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How to Be a Good Politically Correct Liberal

  1. 1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
  2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
  3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese communists.
  4. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.
  5. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
  6. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.
  7. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
  8. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but activists from Seattle do.
  9. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
  10. You have to believe the military, not politicians, start wars.
  11. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
  12. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
  13. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.
  14. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.
  15. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge.
  16. You have to believe that gay parades should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
  17. You have to believe that trial lawyers are selfless heroes and doctors are overpaid.
  18. You have to believe there was no art before federal funding.
  19. You have to believe the free market that gives us 500+ channels can't deliver the quality that PBS does.
  20. You have to believe that conservatives are racists, but that black people couldn't make it without your help.

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Who are Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem?

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Here's more of the same lifted off the internet...

You Might be a Democrat If...

* You own something that says, "Dukakis for President, " and still display it.

* You've tried to argue in favor of anything based on, "Well, they're gonna do it anyway so..."

* You've ever said, "We really should call the ACLU about this."

* You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree.

* You ever based an argument on the phrase, "But they can afford a tax hike because..."

* You've ever argued that with just one more year of welfare that person will turn it around and get off drugs.

* You think Lennon was a brilliant social commentator.

* You keep count of how many people you know in each racial or ethnic category.

* You believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe does.

* After looking at your pay stub you can still say, "America is undertaxed"


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Premier Betty wrote:Who are Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem?

Well, Margaret Sanger was the eugenicist who wanted to get rid of all the undesirables. IOW, if she had her way, there wouldn't be any repugs.

Gloria Steinem was a Playboy Bunny.


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Glorious greetings, Comrades,The Dear Leader, has decided that criminals are no longer criminals. and this is the last time that the "c" word will ever be used..By presidential directive our dear leader, Comrade Obama has determined and so ordered that the correct term is to be


 
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