GM to Import Nuclear Powered Cars from Iran

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The Obama administration today announced that after several months of secret negotiations over Iran's use of nuclear energy an agreement has finally been reached wherein Government Motors will import Iranian nuclear powered automobiles.

In a statement to the press, White House Spokesunit Jay "Carney" Carney barked that President Obama himself signed the documents today which finally put to rest all American concerns about Iran's use of nuclear energy, including the alleged possibility - repeatedly and ridiculously brought up by the Rethugglikkkan Party - of Iran building nuclear weapons.

"Hey, I wish we could have told you months ago," snarked Carney, "But, well, the negotiations were secret, and what finally iced the deal was a special concert in Tehran put on by Jay-Z and Madonna for the ayatollah and Achmadinabamajad - good lord, you shoulda seen those Iranians get down!"

Carney pointed out that Madonna wore a delightfully stylish black full-length burkha, and she brought down the house when she pulled up the front of it directly in the ayatollah's face, revealing a delicious tattoo of The Prophet™ Mohammed driving a convertible version of one of the new Iranian nuclear powered cars - right where her pubic hair used to be!

Carney went on to release this photo of the new Iranian auto manufacturing plant, most of which is actually underground:

Iranian president Achmadinabamajad said that manufacturing of the automobiles will begin immediately after the re-election of the American president.

It's a proud day for America, comrades - thanks once again to President B. Hussein Obama!

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Comrade R.O.C.K:

I noticed that Comrades James Carville and Van Jones beta tested the nuke car and had a full head of hair before they started to drive it. I also hate to point out that the that the lead shielding in the upgraded "party members only models" dramatically cuts down on the fuel efficiency. As a extremely loyal and industrious upper party member, I would like to be notified as to which towns have these cars in them because when they go China Iranian Syndrome, I would like to be miles away. When one does melt down and takes a bunch of capitalist pigs with it, I will of course yell out the requisite "allahu akbar" where ever I am!!

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Comrade Robot, I - as always - admire your loyalty to the party!

But you need not have any fear, these nuclear powered Iranian-built vehicles are totally safe. Both President Achmadinabamajad and President Obama promised that there is nothing to worry about.

Incidentally, the model name of the cars that will be imported to the United States is
كافر بمب

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Ahhh, but who wants a Tato Nano when you can get a new Jihad Sport Coupe for less than the price of a good suicide vest and a crate of RPGs?

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I dunno ROCK. This thing looks sorta strange in the dark...

Iranian Nuke.jpg

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Comrade Squirrel, that is, of course, the inferior Italian version. The ones manufactured in Iran only glow for a very brief instant, to the tune of about 5 megatons.

It's all in the grill ornament, comrade.

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Yes, ROCK, I noticed that lovely badge but was too tired to care...

And Colossus - Am I the driver or prisoner in that device?

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Captain Craptek, while the first series requires both, future editions will feature driver-less vehicles. All driving would be remotely controlled from Centralized Control Center in the basement tunnel between Transportation Secretariat and ATF that has a long experience of owning and operating tunnels.

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Captain Craptek wrote:Yes, ROCK, I noticed that lovely badge but was too tired to care...

[highlight=#ffff00]And Colossus - Am I the driver or prisoner in that device[/highlight][highlight=#ffff00]?[/highlight]
AA Colossus 4.png

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Life imitates the People's Cube - AGAIN!

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Three mile island to be the site of the first dealership. Sales associates prepare the showroom or 'glow room' as they like to call it and install kiosk point of sale Geiger counters.Image