GAIA Minister Neytiri Naked Truth Report:

Chicago in Late-November/Early-December 2014 Being Coldest in 110 Years is Simply a Global-Warming/Climate-Change Head-Fake:


Trapped in the Peoples Zoo in Chicago, GAIA says to the Bi-Polar Bear, Al Gore, "You predicted 'warming' but I'm getting cold," to which Bi-Polar Bear replied, "Stop complaining, the Lake ice is starting to melt."


After Bi-Polar Bear moves away from GAIA Minister Neytiri, a resident polar bear takes his place but expresses shame and embarrassment for his species when Bi-Polar Bear says, "Global Warming caused this Polar Vortex to freeze the United States [again in 2014]."

Says GAIA Minister Neytiri: "I've been in bed with Bi-Polar Bear too long, and now even I am beginning to question his Anthropogenic-Global-Warming/Climate-Change claims."

--GAIA Minister Neytiri

Keep faith, Comrade Neytiri. We [junk] Scientists at the State Science Institute are working hard to Korrekt this.

Since the current temperature measurements (made by instruments manufactured by evil Capitalists and are therefore not to be trusted) have failed to show any warming on Earth for the past 18 years, we have begun working on a new solution.

Our slaves Gulag inmates workers have been very busy going through hundreds of years' worth of old temperature records and altering correcting them to show that the past was even colder than it is today! When we are finished, we will be able to show that this December is the warmest one on record.

As you can imagine, this effort is taking a while. But soon we will be able to show that all those icebergs you are seeing have always been there, and are getting smaller every year.

These are not the icebergs you're looking for.