Impeachment hero Adam Schiff, who will be remembered for weeks to come, read the articles of impeachment against rogue president Donald J Trump yesterday. After spending two years investigating and insisting upon collusion between Russia and the Trump administration to overthrow the 2016 presidential election, Schiff dramatically called the president to account in Article I of the articles of impeachment:

“…Using the powers of his high office, President Trump solicited the interference of a foreign government, Ukraine, in the 2020 United States Presidential election. He did so through a scheme or course of conduct that included soliciting the Government of Ukraine to publicly announce investigations that would benefit his reelection, harm the election prospects of a political opponent, and influence the 2020 United States Presidential election to his advantage…”

This is the strongest case for impeachment since President Johnson was accused of sowing seeds of disrespect for Congress. This is indeed, finally, the bombshell that spells the beginning of the end of the Trump presidency! All this time, Trump and his henchmen have been strategizing to defend against accusations of Russian collusion in the 2016 election only to be accused of Ukrainian collusion in overthrowing the 2020 election. Trump may think he's clever, but he's been outfoxed by those cleverer Democrats.

As surely as this impeachment means doom for the Trump administration, it does pose a problem for Democrats if Trump manages to evade justice in the Senate trial. In a brief moment of lucidity, Nancy Pelosi confided that she was running out of Russian speaking countries to blame for Trump's political success.

Dr. Konstantin Ivanov, head of the Department of Russian and Slavic Studies at the University of Arizona agrees. "The Democrats have already exhausted theoretical possibilities with Russia and have little left to blame on Ukraine. I think they will have to blame Belarus after a Trump win in 2020. But if two years of investigating Belorussian collusion turns up nothing, then whom will they blame, Moldova? How many Democrats have even heard of Moldova?”

Child prophet and newly canonized environmental saint Greta Thunberg agrees. "If we don't start investing in renewable Russian speaking countries now, we may run out of countries to blame for Trump's successes in just ten years, maybe less." Pausing to glare, she added, "Some people may disagree. How dare they!"

Elizabeth Warren is already on the war path and has made the potential shortage a centerpiece of her presidential campaign. "I'm proposing a 70% tax on the wealthiest Americans to create more Russian speaking countries for as long as there are Republicans to accuse of collusion. We must join together to save this land sacred to my indigenous ancestors."

In a news conference held in the Kremlin, Putin expressed his approval of Democrat plans for more Russian speaking countries. "I would welcome a Democrat administration. Even if their backward economic policies are identical to those we have discarded, I would be willing to share our culture with as many nations as need our help and ask for it."

In real life, we did have a Russian woman visit our church several years ago at about the same time a Bulgarian woman was also attending. I began to explain to the Russian woman about the People's Cube and she was already smirking knowingly when I had only gotten to the "all sides are red" part. She needed no further explanation. I told her we had a Bulgarian in our congregation, and asked which language they would be likely to speak if they met. She said that when Russians and Bulgarians meet, they usually speak English. Was she just pointing out the elefant in the room?