After fulfilling the historical dialectic and bringing progressive thought to the earliest humans in Africa, operatives from the Historical Research and Manipulation Department of the Office of the Commissar of Time turned their attentions to ancient China. We had learned that when people move beyond the tribal stage, and start settling in villages and towns, that progressive thought is more able to survive and evolve.

Learning from our errors in Africa, we did not spread disease, pregnancies, or American television amongst the ancient Chinese. We carefully observed the interaction of villagers with village leaders, and realized they were on the ragged edge of creating a system of wealth redistribution on their own.

A local widely regarded as the village idiot, named Wu Pi and recently exiled from the remains of his village kept hanging around our camp begging handouts and power tools. While we wouldn't share advanced power tools with Wu Pi, we did keep him fed, and gave him copies of Max and Mao, translated into the local tongue, as well as a better made steel sickle than the crude bronze one he had.

Wu Pi learned of the oppression of the producing classes, and of the victim status of those who did not have. He shared with us how his village oppressed him for harnessing the rivers, and increasing cropland, all for the betterment of his people, and become fascinated by Stalin and Mao's Great Leap Forward.

Ultimately Wu Pi left our camp, and we got bored because we hadn't seen any advancement among the locals, and figured we needed to look a few years ahead....

Colonel 7.62 wrote:A..

Learning from our errors in Africa, we did not spread disease, pregnancies, or American television amongst the ancient Chinese. We carefully observed the interaction of villagers with village leaders, and realized they were on the ragged edge of creating a system of wealth redistribution on their own.

As Sec. of State, Mrs. B J Clinton once said, so correctly, "it takes a villageidiot to be a Democrat." She was not prepared to have the village idiot, Mr. B J Clinton, spreading VD disease and the nasty to fellow comrades creating the village idiots going to mother f Mother Africa and spreading disease. ummm, what was the topic again?? I saw disease, presidencies, interactions, villagers.. but think I went off course?

Col. I stayed behind a while to see how our friend Wu Pi would use the information we gave him, particularly the story of Chairman Mao's Great Leap Forward. Here is what transpired...

“Take from others everything they have and use it to your advantage.”

Wu Pi was a lazy man who lived on a hillside above a village beside a great river. Every morning Wu Pi had to trudge to the river to lug buckets of water back to his hut. One day Wu Pi got a great idea. Why not dig a small trench from the river to his hut. Soon he had a trench delivering water right to his door. It was glorious. Until the monsoon season. The raging river swelled it's banks. The rushing water carved out the small trench turning it into a ditch that grew ever wider. Soon half the village was washed away along with all the topsoil from the farmland. Many died.

Wu Pi wanted to redeem himself so he convinced the village chief to drain the swamp and turn that into farmland. He also suggested chopping down the forest on the hillside to create even more farmland. After all that work the winds came and blew away the top soil on the drained land and then when the rains came, the exposed soil on the hillside gave way in a giant mudslide. Once again, many died.

Years of hunger passed and no one in the village would talk to Wu Pi. He had learned his lesson and swore to never tamper with water. Eventually crops began to grow again and the people were beginning to feel comfortable. People stopped spitting on Wu Pi and even the children stopped throwing stones at him.

One day Wu Pi noticed that much of the harvest was being eaten by birds. So he convinced the village chief that the solution was to kill off all the birds. The village children were recruited to use nets to capture as many birds as they could. When the harvest finally came it was very bountiful. The people were very happy and so was Wu Pi. At last he'd done something right.

Unfortunately besides eating grain, the birds also ate insects. The following season a plague of insects descended on the crops and wiped them out. There was great famine in the land and many died.

Years had passed and Wu Pi had grown old, his beard was long and gray. Wu Pi set out from his village to travel the land. He came upon another village where the people didn't waste their time trying to get a free lunch by thwarting nature. Instead every man worked his own field and kept what he grew. In good years some farmers had enough excess to trade with other villages. Everyone was happy all the time.

Wu Pi saw this and had a profound revelation. He rushed back to his village to tell his chief what he had seen. Soon everyone in Wu Pi's village was put to work. Not farming but instead building weapons. Soon Wu Pi's village had a mighty army and they marched to the neighboring village and slew all the people and took their food. After that village they raided the next and the next. Finally Wu Pi had brought forth a great idea that brought prosperity for all his people.

Wu Pi was laid to rest in a great tomb. With him his people buried a hammer and a sickle to symbolize the tools they'd never need again, for he had shown them how to seize the wealth of others and redistribute it.

I'm speechless. How did he become so smart. Did he spend any time in the hood?