Al Qaeda falling for email scams

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According to this article, noble Al Qaeda operatives are falling for scams regarding the purchase of nuclear materials. With a bit of research, I was able to find the source of one such scam. Enjoy! And remember, just because a shady operative promises you fissionable materials, doesn't mean it's true.

Dear Friend and Jihadist,

My name is Mohamed Bin Fookin, and I am a operative for Iranian Defense Ministry. As you know, we are working on developing peaceful nuclear technologies in order to stay competitive with the infidels. Of late, my contacts in a former Soviet state have offered us much more weapons grade plutonium than we can safely use at this time.

Your reputation as a jihadist and Warrior of Allah precedes you my friend, and after much prayer and meditaion, I have decided to divert some of this supply to you valiant cause.
Because fissionables are expensive, and much extra care must be taken in their transport, I merely ask for a small refundable deposit, returnable upon your safe receipt of the fissionables.

To this end, I ask for your NAME, ADDRESS, TELEPHONE AND EMAIL INFORMATION and of course a BANK ACCOUNT AND ROUTING INFORMATION. Please contact me with that information, and we can then proceed to set up the transfer of the fissionables to our mutual benefit and war upon the infidel.

Yours in Allah, Mohamed Bin Fookin

{off} Ok, I'm getting some formatting errors here, sorry. Don't know what is up, I'll blame capitalist sabatoge for the moment.

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Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? Yeah, that Al Czarweary woman is running a capitalist enterprise on the side.

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aaaHAAA!! So it has come to such! I have seen what is to happen to peoples who have denouncements made against them. I have been to watch closely episode of Fraulein Pulloskies and her cheesy Limburger business and have now to understand that such events mark for being MADE PROG!! And though I to imagine I already to be MADE because of status of being wife of Second-In-Command to Osama bin Laidon, I of understanding that protocols are a must to be met.

So I take challenge and DENOUNCE Colonel 7.62 DENOUNCEMENT!

I see too many error in email to have it suggest I am authoress of such dribblings.

Take salutation for an instant. All good Moose-alimbs know to begin with peaceful greeting so as all to enjoy equalness. Next, what be this ‘friend' business? Any self-loathing respecting freedom fighter know ‘friend' is evil reichwing term and hidden meaning is ‘fiend' and unnecessary ‘r' is standing for ‘reichwing'. There is only fiend in friend-ship word and it be the reichwingers! And too, jihadist another evil reichwing terminology – Al-Qaeda participants are freedom fighters for Islam.

Then what of such silliness to use name of Mohamed Bin Fookin. Too much bad translation makes any freedom fighter to understand right away that it is bad Kufic. Correct spelling should to be Mohamad bin Fuq'n.

As to body of email it appear to be robust enough but should I be one to write such I would have been more delicate with wording.

But most to tell is closing remark – though this miss-take also contained in limpy email body. Where is the SWT after name of Allah (SWT)? Eh? Eh? Freedom fighter would be so outraged at error he would be to destroying such computer! He would take rifle-butt and smash into screen. He would be to pounce upon screen again and again. Then he would to take what left of screen and computer and throw all off mountain cliff.

And so... should such a scheme exist, I would not to be accused of capitalist enter prize but only to add to redistributive agenda of Dear Leader himself. Who else to be of great monies wealth but the bin Laidons? Is it not true that the bin Laidons are filthy wealthy with capitalist monies? And is it not of truth they have been in cahoots with evil Bushitler family? Would not The People™ be of great benefit to be the receivers of such dirty monies and therefore would to make such monies clean again? It is duty of all to take monies from capitalist pigs. Is that not of truth what I am saying?

Ala zeg. I had as much deliberation.

And so... am I not deserving of some loose change to assist in my artistic career here at Gulag? Do you have no idea as to how much monies artist supplies cost after you deduct all free monies from Starving Artists entitlements? And am I not a proficient seamstress and elusive exclusive hat maker for Nanski Peloski and my husband and Osama and who ever else it to be who wish to be adorned with such hats? Bedpans and flowers cost much monies you know.

So you to keep your denouncement. I will take the Made Prog entitlement now, please.

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Dear Freedom Fighters of the Qube,
Along with errors pointed out by Mrs. Czarweary, another glaring omission in the "scam" email is that it failed to end in "AL-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LAH-BOOM!" No fighter worth his turban would ever dream of ending his letters any other way.

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I've heard these emials originate from a CIA server, but can't believe it.

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It's the Circle of Money!

Americans give their money to Middle Eastern businessmen for oil -------------------------> Middle Eastern businessmen give the money to violent anti-American extremists ------------------------> Extremists lose the money online to the CIA -------------> The CIA gives the money to Congress ------------> Congress buys booze.

Cheers to dependence on a foreign source of energy!

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Public Disarmament Czar wrote:
It's the Circle of Money!

Circle-jerk of Money?

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Indeed. Here's an even better example of a circle-jerk for you, Czar Czar:


Yup, ever since the election Chicago and D.C. have been in the back seat of a fogged out GM with their hands down each other's pants. But whatever, I mean, members of Congress have been porking each other for years...