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    The People's Cube Forum Index
    FAQ
    Login and Registration Issues
    Why can't I log in?
    Why do I need to register at all?
    Why do I get logged off automatically?
    How do I prevent my username from appearing in the online user listings?
    I've lost my password!
    I registered but cannot log in!
    I registered in the past but cannot log in anymore!

    User Preferences and settings
    How do I change my settings?
    The times are not correct!
    I changed the timezone and the time is still wrong!
    My language is not in the list!
    How do I show an image below my username?
    How do I change my rank?
    When I click the email link for a user it asks me to log in.

    Posting Issues
    How do I post a topic in a forum?
    How do I edit or delete a post?
    How do I add a signature to my post?
    How do I create a poll?
    How do I edit or delete a poll?
    Why can't I access a forum?
    Why can't I vote in polls?

    Formatting and Topic Types
    What is BBCode?
    Can I use HTML?
    What are Smileys?
    Can I post Images?
    What are Announcements?
    What are Sticky topics?
    What are Locked topics?

    User Levels and Groups
    What are Administrators?
    What are Moderators?
    What are Usergroups?
    How do I join a Usergroup?
    How do I become a Usergroup Moderator?

    Printer-Friendly Topic View
    What is the :| |: button for? - Cancelling the board's pagination
    What are the boxes on top of the printable output? - Range selection
    How to print only one message? - Advanced range selection
    More questions?

    Private Messaging
    I cannot send private messages!
    I keep getting unwanted private messages!
    I have received a spamming or abusive email from someone on this board!

    phpBB 2 Issues
    Who wrote this bulletin board?
    Why isn't X feature available?
    Whom do I contact about abusive and/or legal matters related to this board?

    Newsfeeds
    Are your forums accessible as a newsfeed using RSS and Atom protocols?
     

    Login and Registration Issues
    Why can't I log in?
    Have you registered? Seriously, you must register in order to log in. Have you been banned from the board? (A message will be displayed if you have.) If so, you should contact the webmaster or board administrator to find out why. If you have registered and are not banned and you still cannot log in then check and double-check your username and password. Usually this is the problem; if not, contact the board administrator -- they may have incorrect configuration settings for the board.
    Why do I need to register at all?
    You may not have to -- it is up to the administrator of the board as to whether you need to register in order to post messages. However, registration will give you access to additional features not available to guest users such as definable avatar images, private messaging, emailing to fellow users, usergroup subscription, etc. It only takes a few minutes to register so it is recommended you do so.
    Why do I get logged off automatically?
    If you do not check the Log me in automatically box when you log in, the board will only keep you logged in for a preset time. This prevents misuse of your account by anyone else. To stay logged in, check the box during login. This is not recommended if you access the board from a shared computer, e.g. library, internet cafe, university cluster, etc.
    How do I prevent my username from appearing in the online user listings?
    In your profile you will find an option Hide your online status; if you switch this on you'll only appear to board administrators or to yourself. You will be counted as a hidden user.
    I've lost my password!
    Don't panic! While your password cannot be retrieved it can be reset. To do this go to the login page and click I've forgotten my password. Follow the instructions and you should be back online in no time.
    I registered but cannot log in!
    First check that you are entering the correct username and password. If they are okay then one of two things may have happened: if COPPA support is enabled and you clicked the I am under 13 years old link while registering then you will have to follow the instructions you received. If this is not the case then maybe your account need activating. Some boards will require all new registrations be activated, either by yourself or by the administrator before you can log on. When you registered it would have told you whether activation was required. If you were sent an email then follow the instructions; if you did not receive the email then check that your email address is valid. One reason activation is used is to reduce the possibility of rogue users abusing the board anonymously. If you are sure the email address you used is valid then try contacting the board administrator.
    I registered in the past but cannot log in anymore!
    The most likely reasons for this are: you entered an incorrect username or password (check the email you were sent when you first registered) or the administrator has deleted your account for some reason. If it is the latter case then perhaps you did not post anything? It is usual for boards to periodically remove users who have not posted anything so as to reduce the size of the database. Try registering again and get involved in discussions.

    User Preferences and settings
    How do I change my settings?
    All your settings (if you are registered) are stored in the database. To alter them click the Profile link (generally shown at the top of pages but this may not be the case). This will allow you to change all your settings.
    The times are not correct!
    The times are almost certainly correct; however, what you may be seeing are times displayed in a timezone different from the one you are in. If this is the case, you should change your profile setting for the timezone to match your particular area, e.g. London, Paris, New York, Sydney, etc. Please note that changing the timezone, like most settings, can only be done by registered users. So if you are not registered, this is a good time to do so, if you pardon the pun!
    I changed the timezone and the time is still wrong!
    If you are sure you have set the timezone correctly and the time is still different, the most likely answer is daylight savings time (or summer time as it is known in the UK and other places). The board is not designed to handle the changeovers between standard and daylight time so during summer months the time may be an hour different from the real local time.
    My language is not in the list!
    The most likely reasons for this are either the administrator did not install your language or someone has not translated this board into your language. Try asking the board administrator if they can install the language pack you need or if it does not exist, please feel free to create a new translation. More information can be found at the phpBB Group website (see link at bottom of pages)
    How do I show an image below my username?
    There may be two images below a username when viewing posts. The first is an image associated with your rank; generally these take the form of stars or blocks indicating how many posts you have made or your status on the forums. Below this may be a larger image known as an avatar; this is generally unique or personal to each user. It is up to the board administrator to enable avatars and they have a choice over the way in which avatars can be made available. If you are unable to use avatars then this is the decision of the board admin and you should ask them their reasons (we're sure they'll be good!)
    How do I change my rank?
    In general you cannot directly change the wording of any rank (ranks appear below your username in topics and on your profile depending on the style used). Most boards use ranks to indicate the number of posts you have made and to identify certain users. For example, moderators and administrators may have a special rank. Please do not abuse the board by posting unnecessarily just to increase your rank -- you will probably find the moderator or administrator will simply lower your post count.
    When I click the email link for a user it asks me to log in.
    Sorry, but only registered users can send email to people via the built-in email form (if the admin has enabled this feature). This is to prevent malicious use of the email system by anonymous users.

    Posting Issues
    How do I post a topic in a forum?
    Easy -- click the relevant button on either the forum or topic screens. You may need to register before you can post a message. The facilities available to you are listed at the bottom of the forum and topic screens (the You can post new topics, You can vote in polls, etc. list)
    How do I edit or delete a post?
    Unless you are the board admin or forum moderator you can only edit or delete your own posts. You can edit a post (sometimes for only a limited time after it was made) by clicking the edit button for the relevant post. If someone has already replied to the post, you will find a small piece of text output below the post when you return to the topic that lists the number of times you edited it. This will only appear if no one has replied; it also will not appear if moderators or administrators edit the post (they should leave a message saying what they altered and why). Please note that normal users cannot delete a post once someone has replied.
    How do I add a signature to my post?
    To add a signature to a post you must first create one; this is done via your profile. Once created you can check the Add Signature box on the posting form to add your signature. You can also add a signature by default to all your posts by checking the appropriate radio box in your profile. You can still prevent a signature being added to individual posts by un-checking the add signature box on the posting form.
    How do I create a poll?
    Creating a poll is easy -- when you post a new topic (or edit the first post of a topic, if you have permission) you should see a Add Poll form below the main posting box. If you cannot see this then you probably do not have rights to create polls. You should enter a title for the poll and then at least two options -- to set an option type in the poll question and click the Add option button. You can also set a time limit for the poll, 0 being an infinite amount. There will be a limit to the number of options you can list, which is set by the board administrator
    How do I edit or delete a poll?
    As with posts, polls can only be edited by the original poster, a moderator, or board administrator. To edit a poll, click the first post in the topic, which always has the poll associated with it. If no one has cast a vote then users can delete the poll or edit any poll option. However, if people have already placed votes only moderators or administrators can edit or delete it; this is to prevent people rigging polls by changing options mid-way through a poll
    Why can't I access a forum?
    Some forums may be limited to certain users or groups. To view, read, post, etc. you may need special authorization which only the forum moderator and board administrator can grant, so you should contact them.
    Why can't I vote in polls?
    Only registered users can vote in polls so as to prevent spoofing of results. If you have registered and still cannot vote then you probably do not have appropriate access rights.

    Formatting and Topic Types
    What is BBCode?
    BBCode is a special implementation of HTML. Whether you can use BBCode is determined by the administrator. You can also disable it on a per post basis from the posting form. BBCode itself is similar in style to HTML: tags are enclosed in square braces [ and ] rather than < and > and it offers greater control over what and how something is displayed. For more information on BBCode see the guide which can be accessed from the posting page.
    Can I use HTML?
    That depends on whether the administrator allows you to; they have complete control over it. If you are allowed to use it, you will probably find only certain tags work. This is a safety feature to prevent people from abusing the board by using tags which may destroy the layout or cause other problems. If HTML is enabled you can disable it on a per post basis from the posting form.
    What are Smileys?
    Smileys, or Emoticons, are small graphical images which can be used to express some feeling using a short code, e.g. :) means happy, :( means sad. The full list of emoticons can be seen via the posting form. Try not to overuse smileys, though, as they can quickly render a post unreadable and a moderator may decide to edit them out or remove the post altogether.
    Can I post Images?
    Images can indeed be shown in your posts. However, there is no facility at present for uploading images directly to this board. Therefore you must link to an image stored on a publicly accessible web server, e.g. http://www.some-unknown-place.net/my-picture.gif. You cannot link to pictures stored on your own PC (unless it is a publicly accessible server) nor to images stored behind authentication mechanisms such as Hotmail or Yahoo mailboxes, password-protected sites, etc. To display the image use either the BBCode [img] tag or appropriate HTML (if allowed).
    What are Announcements?
    Announcements often contain important information and you should read them as soon as possible. Announcements appear at the top of every page in the forum to which they are posted. Whether or not you can post an announcement depends on the permissions required, which are set by the administrator.
    What are Sticky topics?
    Sticky topics appear below any announcements in viewforum and only on the first page. They are often quite important so you should read them where possible. As with announcements the board administrator determines what permissions are required to post sticky topics in each forum.
    What are Locked topics?
    Locked topics are set this way by either the forum moderator or board administrator. You cannot reply to locked topics and any poll contained inside is automatically ended. Topics may be locked for many reasons.

    User Levels and Groups
    What are Administrators?
    Administrators are people assigned the highest level of control over the entire board. These people can control all facets of board operation which include setting permissions, banning users, creating usergroups or moderators, etc. They also have full moderator capabilities in all the forums.
    What are Moderators?
    Moderators are individuals (or groups of individuals) whose job it is to look after the running of the forums from day to day. They have the power to edit or delete posts and lock, unlock, move, delete and split topics in the forum they moderate. Generally moderators are there to prevent people going off-topic or posting abusive or offensive material.
    What are Usergroups?
    Usergroups are a way in which board administrators can group users. Each user can belong to several groups (this differs from most other boards) and each group can be assigned individual access rights. This makes it easy for administrators to set up several users as moderators of a forum, or to give them access to a private forum, etc.
    How do I join a Usergroup?
    To join a usergroup click the usergroup link on the page header (dependent on template design) and you can then view all usergroups. Not all groups are open access -- some are closed and some may even have hidden memberships. If the board is open then you can request to join it by clicking the appropriate button. The user group moderator will need to approve your request; they may ask why you want to join the group. Please do not pester a group moderator if they turn your request down -- they will have their reasons.
    How do I become a Usergroup Moderator?
    Usergroups are initially created by the board administrator who also assigns a board moderator. If you are interested in creating a usergroup then your first point of contact should be the administrator, so try dropping them a private message.

    Printer-Friendly Topic View
    What is the :| |: button for? - Cancelling the board's pagination
    By clicking on this button you can locally remove the board's fixed pagination for the current topic to help your web browser do the proper pagination for printing based on actual line spacing, rather than the forum-wide limit for number of messages per page.
    What are the boxes on top of the printable output? - Range selection
    There are two boxes on top of the page and a tape-recorder-like button Show. They allow to select a range of messages. Note that every message in the printable view has a number. Use those numbers to fill out the boxes on top to set up the first and the last message you want to be printed, and press the Show button to rearrange the messages. Another way to set a range is to put a negative number in the second box, which will mean that you want -n of messages to be printed. For example, 4 7 will output messages 4, 5, 6, 7. However if you enter values 4 -7 in first and second box respectively, messages 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 will be shown after you press the rewind button.
    How to print only one message? - Advanced range selection
    First, go to the printable view of the topic by pressing the Printer button in the topic view. Find your message and note the number in the left of it. Type that number into the first box in the top left of the printable view. In the second box put value -1 and press the Show button. This will tell the database to output only one message starting from the given one. Another way of getting this result is by putting the same number in both boxes. Let's say you want to print only the message number 16. Fill out the boxes in the top as such: 16 -1 and press the go button Show. Instead of 16 and -1 you could as well enter 16 and 16. The result will be the same. This example will work only if there are at least sixteen messages in the current topic, of course.
    More questions?
    Detailed documentation and support forums are here

    Private Messaging
    I cannot send private messages!
    There are three reasons for this; you are not registered and/or not logged on, the board administrator has disabled private messaging for the entire board, or the board administrator has prevented you individually from sending messages. If it is the latter case you should try asking the administrator why.
    I keep getting unwanted private messages!
    In the future we will be adding an ignore list to the private messaging system. For now, though, if you keep receiving unwanted private messages from someone, inform the board administrator -- they have the power to prevent a user from sending private messages at all.
    I have received a spamming or abusive email from someone on this board!
    We are sorry to hear that. The email form feature of this board includes safeguards to try to track users who send such posts. You should email the board administrator with a full copy of the email you received and it is very important this include the headers (these list details of the user that sent the email). They can then take action.

    phpBB 2 Issues
    Who wrote this bulletin board?
    This software (in its unmodified form) is produced, released and is copyrighted phpBB Group. It is made available under the GNU General Public License and may be freely distributed; see link for more details
    Why isn't X feature available?
    This software was written by and licensed through phpBB Group. If you believe a feature needs to be added then please visit the phpbb.com website and see what the phpBB Group has to say. Please do not post feature requests to the board at phpbb.com, as the Group uses sourceforge to handle tasking of new features. Please read through the forums and see what, if any, our position may already be for features and then follow the procedure given there.
    Whom do I contact about abusive and/or legal matters related to this board?
    You should contact the administrator of this board. If you cannot find who that is, you should first contact one of the forum moderators and ask them who you should in turn contact. If still get no response you should contact the owner of the domain (do a whois lookup) or, if this is running on a free service (e.g. yahoo, free.fr, f2s.com, etc.), the management or abuse department of that service. Please note that phpBB Group has absolutely no control and cannot in any way be held liable over how, where or by whom this board is used. It is absolutely pointless contacting phpBB Group in relation to any legal (cease and desist, liable, defamatory comment, etc.) matter not directly related to the phpbb.com website or the discrete software of phpBB itself. If you do email phpBB Group about any third party use of this software then you should expect a terse response or no response at all.

    Newsfeeds
    Are your forums accessible as a newsfeed using RSS and Atom protocols?
    Yes. This site has installed the Smartfeed phpBB modification, which allows access to both our public and private forums. Accessing private forums requires appropriate authorizations. Learn more.

    All times are GMT - 5 Hours

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    The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand


    Write down this number and report to your Kommissar at the nearest railroad station.
    Don't forget warm clothes and a shovel!
     
     
    Stop Prosecution of the CIA!
    Christmas & Healthcare Reform season classic:
    It's a Wonderful Death!
    NY Times, Newsweek offer editorial inoculations to concerned readers of Sarah Palin's book
    Going Rogue: FEMA braces for massive outbreaks of Palin Derangement Syndrome
    Following Fort Hood tragedy, Obama declares all military bases gun-free zones
    Pelosi: we won.
    Philies: so did we
    Study: Global Warming linked to consumption of beans and beef patties






    Pro-Obama gamers discover 'cheat codes' in U.S. Constitution
    Police trained in using end of life counselingtechniques to negotiate suicide threats
    Obama commits more troops to War on Fox News, still awaiting Afghan troop surge
    Pass Rush: NFL okays Fidel Castro's bid to buy Miami Dolphins
    Study: the road to hell paved with Nobel Peace Prizes
    Obama wins Nobel Peace Prize. Wishing all our readers a Happy April First!

    Roman Polanski named new School Safety Czar in wake of Jennings scandal
    Charles Manson: 'Leave Polanski alone, hasn't he suffered enough?'


    Obama loses Olympic bid, will try for Special Olympics next
    Carter: if the IOC doesn't give the Olympics to Chicago, they're racists
    Saudis: the word 'assassina- tion' will never be the same
    Al Qaeda: 'We shove bombs up our butts'
    Richard Gere denies Al Qaeda membership
    Experts: assassin hid bomb in anal cavity adjacent to brain
    Study: 90% of G20 protestors driven to Pittsburgh by mom
    Ahmadinejad: Iran needs enriched uranium to purchase large IKEA sofa
    Obama: If we don't bomb Iran now, we'll never pass healthcare reform
    Taliban hires DC lobbyist in effort to get Obama's attention
    Missile defense: Czechs angry at Obama for being canceled
    Media study: Caucasian toddlers are more likely to cut eye-holes into "blankies"
    Democrat strategist: 9 out of 10 white infants prefer cross burning over mother's milk
    Mahmoud’s Liquidation Warehouse: 50% off Israel - this weekend only - it won’t last long
    Obama: Black kids still forced to beat people up at back of bus
    Charlie Gibson: Neil Armstrong went where?
    Obamacare, it’s finger-licking good!
    Ben and Jerry release 'Hate Monger Bigot' flavor to celebrate those who support traditional marriage
    'Shiver me Timbers!': Somalia unveils People's Institute for Redistribution, Adventurism & Thalassic Extortion (PIRATE)
    Energy Czar: to save energy, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off

    buy this sticker
    Other 49 states impose carbon tax on California due to wildfire smoke
    Following Scotland's lead, US Justice Dept releases Charles Manson, citing battle with chronic hemorrhoids
    Obama to media: Please respect our girls' privacy, especially Mr. Letterman
    Teachable moment: Obama to hold 'beer summit' between offended Post Office and UPS
    Taliban sends protesters to Afghan town hall meetings in attempt to get Obama administration to withdraw

    Gotham villains working for the Common Good™
    White House recalibrates description of town hall protesters from 'terrorists' to 'man-made Nazi fascist pigs'
    Experts: when buying Astroturf, remember to look for the Union Label
    National-socialist health care?
    Drudge insulates self from White House anger by naming his site MoveOn.Drudge
    ABC greenlights epic 12-part miniseries based on Beer Summit
    Moveon.org petitions Dems to leave Bush/Cheney alone and 'move on to pressing issues facing the nation'
    Palin: Critics ipso facto are quitters
    Honduran ex-president Zelaya holds press- conference, presents birth certificate for examination
    Cambridge: fighting racial bias, Obama picks black scholar Henry Louis Gates as Door Jigging Czar
    Obama: white cop acted like inexperienced rookie, but being one I may be biased
    On the international front: Obama brings back Cold War, switches sides
    Signs of recovery: WH study finds number of searches for 'economic depression' on Google lower than it could have been under FDR
    Obama inherited broken teleprompter from
    George W Bush
    Zelaya: we support the democratically-elected President of the USA, even though he has strongly opposed American policies
    Eco group 'Earth First' protests burying non- biodegradeable body of Michael Jackson under the ground
    Study: Media orgasm over Michael Jackson's death oddly appropriate
    SPONSORED BY:
    Secretary of the Interior vows to turn Neverland Ranch into 'King of Pop' National Monument
    Riots in Iran: Obama invokes Starfleet Prime Directive - non-interference with social development of native planet even at the cost of own life
    Obama hurts a fly, forgets to read Miranda rights
    ACLU: fly murder by slapping unconstitutional
    Obama mistakes Inspector General for a private CEO, orders him to resign
    DHS simplifies procedures, cuts learning curve, renames all terrorism 'right-wing'
    Earth may collide with Venus in 3.5 billion years. We must act NOW!!!
    CBS study: statutory rape jokes not as hilarious as previously thought
    White House tree commits suicide over economic policy

    Obama: 'I inherited this tree from George W. Bush'
    Obama to economy: 'make like a tree and collapse'
    In Cairo, Obama promotes shovel-ready projects for Muslim communities
    Obama's comment linking Islam to algebra sets off anti-Islam riots in US inner-city schools
    Keith Olbermann rises to #1 on Larry Craig's 'Top ten liberals I'd like to sodomize' list
    Ahmadinejad hands out potatoes to corner Irish-Iranian vote
    Lady Justice undergoes extreme makeover on TV, becomes sexier, more empathetic, less blind

    visit our new Che Heart store
    Obama: "We must work to rid the world of nuclear weapons and of Israel too while we're at it"
    Obama to impose a cap on temperatures for patients in government-subsidized hospitals
    Brady Campaign to Prevent Cereal Violence applauds gov't crackdown on cheerios, calls for registration of cereal bowls
    buy this sticker
    Obama's rich supporters chagrined to find he's a class worrior and not the cynical hypocrite they'd counted on
    Congress nationalizes DeBeers, changes marketing slogan to 'government programs are forever'
    Sen. Specter: 'we could be energy-independent by now if Republicans invested in eternal engine research'
    Kentucky Derby winner admits to having no specific strategy: I just kept repeating 'hope' and 'change' and I won... wow!
    Never waste a good crisis: Obama uses swine flu epidemic to put a mask on Joe Biden
    Study: exposure to pork- barrel projects heightens risk of catching swine flu
    Islamic scholars green-light use of government pork by Muslim groups: 'not haram'
    DHS Napolitano's preferred man-made disaster color warnings: chocolate, vanilla, strawberry
    Dow Jones rally prompted by record sales of tea bags on April 15
    WH: Obama's handshake with Saudi King looked like a bow as King Abdullah's arms are twice as long as human arms but atrophy prevents use
    DHS tip on spotting a right- wing extremist: watch out for the one carrying a paycheck
    Opposed to teabagging, Pelosi accepts motion to expel Congressperson Barney Frank
    Spring cleaning tip: don't forget to change your scientific consensus from winter setting "climate change" to summer setting "global warming"
    Obama uses old Bush-era teleprompter for Baghdad speech
    Segway and GM launch a
    2-wheeled contraceptive
    Obama's stern reaction to North Korea missile launch: "I'm tellin'!"
    Lenin laughs ass off over crisis in capitalism

    Scientists: Lenin statue expelled no harmful gases, only dialectical materialism
    Obama gives Queen a shovel


    click here
    NBC: We are all Special Olympians now, especially Olbermann
    Obama's teleprompter caught moonlighting as AmEx spokesperson: 'Don’t leave home without it'

    click here for the story
    Alabama gunman was trying to 'be more like Europeans'
    After shootings, EU threatens potential mass murderes with increased paperwork and red tape
    Oil prices rising; most viable solution is blame Limbaugh
    Obama to bring Cuba in from the cold; political prisoners to remain outside
    Healthcare crisis: Planned Parenthood forced to offer 2 abortions for the price of 1; 50% off if you refer a friend

    Hillary presents Russian Foreign Minister Lavrov with the People's Cube

    CLICK HERE FOR THE STORY
    Obama's Reaganesque address: "I've just declared peace on the Soviet Union. The bonging will start in five minutes"
    Satellite launched to confirm global warming: finds none, crashes in Antarctica in protest
    Al-Qaeda founder discovers DNC playbook, attacks own side in war an terror
    Obama to slash deficit after increase; firefighters to quench house after setting fire to it

    view larger
    Treasury Dept buys Monopoly board game for policy advice
    Democrats pay back their constituents, save faltering squeegee businesses from collapsing

    Muslim group offended by pork hidden in stimulus package, threatens revenge
    Obama appoints guilt czar to oversee fair distribution of guilt among all Americans
    Size matters: stimulus package so big it won't even fit on Drudge
    No help from Obama to storm-ravaged Kentucky; officials consider renaming state to New Orleans in effort to get attention
    Politico: volcano trouble in Alaska a result of Palin's policies
    MoveOn adopts Bush's cowboy diplomacy: 'You're either with Obama or Rush'
    Obama urges liberals to start listening to Rush Limbaugh: 'all too often we start by dictating on issues and don't always know all the factors involved. So let's listen.'
    More bad economic news: area antiwar group lays off its bumper sticker makers
    Dissent no longer patriotic: Obama
    Reminder to Hollywood celebrities: must change 'patriotic' setting from 'hate America' to 'love America' on Jan. 20
    Obama promises to Photoshop a better future for America
    You won't be told lies if you don't ask questions: Obama's new media policy
    Personals: senate seats available in NY & Il. Hardly ever used. Cash OK.
    Change we can believe in: Clinton 1990s staffers
    Somali pirates hijack international space station
    Starting with 11/5/08, the cor- rect progressive greeting in America is "Barack Obama!" The reply is "Obama Barack!"
    Laika the Space Dog consi- dered for new White House pet: "Thoroughly vetted by Bill Ayers"

    CHANGE: President-elect Obama crushes Yankee imperialism in a landslide




    Seven Obama cousins found living in voting booth
    US choppers attack ACORN voter registration center in Syria
    US military: We decided to strike now because this time next year we’ll be a Peace Keeping force
    Biden predicts severe test for Obama in first six months: another question from Joe the Plumber
    Obama: Let he who is without wealth cash the first check!
    Joe Biden: work is a four-letter word


    FBI investigates Mickey Mouse Club for voter fraud
    Embarrassed ACORN accidentally registers 'Ronald Reagan'
    Kids' hymns to Obama a success of Democrat strategy: If you can't abort them, indoctrinate them
    World to USA: 'Fix world ecomonic crisis so we can get back to hating you'
    Obama's campaign invites opponents to play 'Truth or Jail'
    Biden: Hoover text-messaged Americans to calm fears during 1929 crash
    Dead support Obama, all are registered to vote by ACORN
    Biden calls taxes patriotic
    Study: Jesus spoke without a telepromter
    Obama promises free lipstic for everybody if elected
    KARAOKE: These Are The Jerks We Call Journalists

    Obama's negotiations with Gustav prove fruitful; storm spares "French Quarter"
    Feminist group: Sarah Palin worst mother since June Cleaver; decried as "too feminine"
    Obama: leave Bristol alone, she has been punished enough with a baby
    Putin shoots tiger with Polonium-laced dart
    Obama: ready from day one to place a call to UN if a US city is nuked
    Cult of personality at the People's Cube is up 90% compared to previous Five-Year Plan
    Congress established windfall tax on US gold medals
    International Olympic Committee to redistribute Phelp's ill-gotten golds to less fortunate athletes
    Obama beats Hillary to coveted CPUSA endorsement
    February 2050 declared White History Month. Future headlines expected to read "Minorities hardest hit... and deservedly so."
    Obama denounces Russia's actions; humbled Russia sends self to Gulag
    US trade deficit dropped; NYT instructs readers to turn paper upside down for more favorable view of graph
    Sharpton protests disproportionate deaths of Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes, calls for immediate deaths of David Letterman and Billy Joel to even score
    Science to unveil invisible cloak; Conservative White Christian male in NJ says he's been invisible for years
    NYT: Russia's invasion of Georgia leaves much smaller carbon footprint than US invasion of Iraq
    Larry the Cable Guy issues call to "man the pick up trucks" as Russia invades Georgia
    Edwards claims he was having affair with camera, didn't notice woman attached
    Chavez's parents cut off Hugo's credit card after Moscow shopping binge
    Oil industry to Pelosi: You've been given a brain. Use it or lose it.
    Congress to declare July 19th International Swimmers' Day


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    How many superdelegates does it take to change a lightbulb?
    Photoshopped Iranian missile saves 25% on Islamic Republic's carbon footprint

    Word of the day:
    HUSSIES n. Female Obama supporters changing their middle names to Hussein
    Obama: we have always been at peace with Hillary Clinton
    Grand Rapids Mayor George Heartwell vows city will be "vanilla" when rebuilt
    Media grows impatient with Iowa's lack of flood-related rapes and pillaging: Why can't they be more like New Orleans?
    Lou the Looter In Iowa
    CNN investigates Iowans caught blowing FEMA debit cards at Tractor Supply Company
    Obama: WTC problem ended on 9/11, Pentagon still a problem
    Hillary supporters organize against Obama
    Janet Reno congratulates Elian Gonzalez on joining Cuba's Young Communists

    Elian Gonzales - my kid is a Communist Party Honor Student
    Dick Durbin denies that being Hell's spokesperson and moonlighting as a Democrat Senator presents a conflict of interest
    Flooding in Iowa causes typical white people to turn bitter and cling to evacuation procedures
    Democrat energy policy: let them eat cake
    Monica Lewinsky endorses Obama: 'This is not the Bill Clinton I knew'
    NASA unveils 'ass-crack' space suit for plumbing repairs at int'l space station



    Dead people at Obama's rally identified as a renegade splinter group of Hillary's 'invisible Americans'
    Howard Dean: dead people will vote Democrat no matter who gets the nomination
    Mainstream media silent on increased attacks on US troops by mainstream media
    Sen. Kennedy under treatment. Mary Jo still dead
    Muanmar drafts Mayor Nagin and Gov. Blanco to help with cyclone clean up
    New Orleans Mayor sends school buses to Myanmar
    As Darfur violence surges, world vows not to give a crap unless the US gets involved
    Chinese citizens crushed by bricks and rubble; tanks have day off

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    Friendly fire: BBC office hit by al-Qaeda rocket
    Al Gore knows what caused Burma cyclone but won't say it
    International community promises to suspend anti- Americanism until after American aid reaches Burma
    Mainstream media saddened that Austrian pedophile isn't a Catholic priest, a Baptist minister, or a GOP senator
    North Korea's nuclear technicians protest outsourcing jobs to Syria
    Earth Day: save the planet, starve the children!
    Focus group: if water boarding was a sexual preference, they'd be teaching it in public schools

    Study: Wall Street losses unfairly target the rich
    Mixed month for MTV: teen pregnancy drops, however STDs are on the rise
    Obama pledges to give every typical small town family a possum sandwich
    Delays at American Airlines: a sneak peak into proposed government healthcare

    Stop and smell the Sharpies
    Obama: baby is punishment; tax increase is bundle of joy
    Media: this year's Global Bad News Awareness week to overlap with International Good News Obliviousness month
    NPR journalists go on truckers-style protest over high price of lattes
    Most popular April Fools joke: "A Democrat president won't raise taxes"

    Obama denounced extreme statements in Osama's new tape but urged voters to listen to the entire message before making judgment
    Obama's speech calls for change in stereotyping "the typical White person"
    Spitzer denies applying hardball tactics in front of bathroom mirror and threatening to come after himself
    New York State House retires Spitzer's #9 jersey
    KKK endorses Harvard's gym segregation policy: 'Blacks and Jews are next'
    London quake caused by SUV, now impounded by Scotland Yard
    Hillary's healthcare plan to include smelling salts for Obama's supporters and mandatory amputation of Chris Matthews' leg
    USMail Service to publish Obama's resume on new stamp
    Obama: one man's plagiarism is another man's audacity
    Candidate Barry O'Bama to court Irish vote
    Berkeley ousting US Marines gives hope to al Qaeda: 'If hippies can do it, so can we!'
    Berkley builds wall around self; man trying to flee 'Peace Sanctuary City' shot at checkpoint
    John McCain apologizes for going to Vietnam, earns Jane Fonda's endorsement
    To avoid scorn and ridicule, Tom Cruise converts to Islam
    NY Times: Backward, close-minded, inbred southern hicks vote for Obama
    NY Times: All the news that's fit to pimp
    Dems offer first female for President, first Black for President, first pretty pony for Attorney General
    Brokeback Mountain loses climber
    NASA's Spirit Rover finds Dennis Kucinich campaign on Mars
    Las Vegas: candidates offer plans to bail out flustered gamblers
    Feds: subprime borrowers' relief package to include subprime rib
    Silence in Cuba: Castro too ill to speak in public, Cubans too afraid to speak
    Dems adopt old British "don't mention the war" strategy for '08 campaign

    Obama's 'Take a penny, leave a penny' economic plan sparks new hope

    Obama's campaign hires homeless people to talk about change on street corners

    Panhandlers Union endorses Obama's plan for change
    Al Gore's children receive carbon credits for Winter Solstice Holiday
    Democrats call for troop surge in the War on Bush
    Murtha: if we quit now, capitalism will win
    Pelosi declares she likes class war, pledges to stay the course
    Expert blames Republicans for not attacking all Democrat candidates equally
    High school Meth teacher starts new class
    Holy Mitt!
    Violence in Iraq down 60%; media stories reporting this down 6000%
    Imus covers all bases by hiring undocumented-Black- Jewish-homeless- transgendered-vegan- disabled-obese-Kartina- victim as a sidekick
    Poll: most Muslims find curvature of Riemannian manifolds offensive
    "How The Grinch Redistributed Winter Solstice" opens on Broadway
    Left-wing bloggers hold vigil hoping suspect is connected to GOP candidate
    Hostage situation expected to be politicized in the next 20 minutes
    "Mall security" takes over operations in Baghdad
    New study suggests that 1 US gallon of Latte is 170 times more expensive than 1 US gallon of Regular gasoline.
    Al Gore sterilizes self to protect planet: 'Having children is selfish'
    NY Times: some news is fitter to print than others
    Study: most Americans will be worried about economy if told so often enough
    Musharraf changes name to Chavez to avoid being called "dictator" by MSM and Democrats in US Congress
    Media changes old adage "no news is good news" to "no good news is news"
    US Congress extends hurricane season until the first Sunday in November
    Lack of bad news from Iraq causes media recession. Women and minority journalists hardest hit.
    LA Times drops term "wild" describing fire, uses "undocumented" fire instead
    USA Today: big fires are getting bigger, small fires are getting smaller
    Reid: Global Warming caused fire by overheating arsonist's head, provoking delusional paranoia
    MoveOn.org pressures Congress to stop fighting fire and bring firemen home
    Reid: The war on fire is lost
    Pelosi: The number of fires has gone up since we started fighting fire
    Kerry: If you don't do well in school you'll get stuck fighting fire in California
    NY Times: Fighting fire creates even more fires
    Harry Reid auctions clothes, furniture, car on eBay in effort to make millions off his name. "If Limbaugh can do it so can I." No takers so far.
    Princess Leia Organa presents the Alderaanian Medal of Honor to Al Gore
    Did Che Guevara descend from Prophet Mohammed?
    San Andreas Fault in California preemptively renamed George Bush's Fault
    Media Matters editor blows self up over Limbaugh's 'bomber' remark
    End of Ramadan brings new rioting season to France
    Harry Reid bangs shoe on table: "We will bury you!"
    Dutch follow Ahmadinejad's lead, declare "there are no dykes in Holland"
    Ahmadinejad to Amerika: "Don't tase me, bro!"

    Bomb Girl and Taser Boy sell rights to their characters to Marvel Comics
    Cindy Sheehan hires Bomb Girl and Taser Boy as image consultants

    CBS stands by firing of Dan Rather: "He couldn't tell our logo from a hole in the ground"
    Jessie Jackson on Obama: "too White." Obama on Jackson: "I'm a smoke dat biatch if I see him"
    Tasered victim at John Kerry's speech to receive Purple Heart
    Mugabe blames Zimbabwe's meltdown on Global Warming
    To stomp out possible confusion, MSM changes spelling of Obama to Ubama
    Craving acceptance from liberals, General Petraeus gains 300lbs and debuts report at Cannes.
    George Soros stops funding Democrats, converts to Islam
    Edwards: 41% of American children don't have lawyers
    John Edwards proposes "single payer" trial lawyer insurance for all, mandatory pre-jurisprudence care
    Illegal aliens kill people Americans won't kill
    Democrats select 2008 presidential slogan:
    "Death to America"
    Larry "Happy Feet" Craig uses Michael Flatley's Riverdance defense
    "Americans Coming Together" admit they had timing issues
    Presbyterian clergy issue fatwah calling for Pope's death
    New Jersey teen cracked iPhone with his face
    Vick awaits doggie-style welcome in prison

    Rock star behaves like rap star: huge media outcry
    China's recall of defective Daily Kos bloggers causes suicides among Democrat strategists
    Al Gore to recall the Internet


    Media declares September National Bridge Awareness Month
    First New Orleans, now Minnesota: Anderson Cooper travels up the Mississippi without a paddle
    Ray Nagin pledges to build a chocolate bridge instead
    William Jefferson spotted under collapsed bridge retrieving mystery package
    Cannibalism, rape, looting, republicanism rampant in Minneapolis
    Lindsay Lohan to enter astronaut training program
    Nigeria's plan to nationalize local spam industry sparks massive riots in Lagos
    Democrat Congress's two major victories: minimum wage increase and al-Qaeda's restored operating capability
    London Mayor Livingston mandates Sharia law at nightclubs to prevent further bombings
    Taliban spokesman blames media bias as civilian deaths from US air strikes grab headlines: "Taliban has murdered thousands of civilians and we can't even get mentioned on Countdown with Olbermann. What gives?"
    Back alley massage parlors now offering "better ending than Sopranos"
    Bush to close Gitmo, detainees released into Mexican custody to be put on fast track to US citizenship

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    Study: Dan rather still unable to tell the difference between Paris Hilton and Katie Couric
    Civil war in Gaza: if it's not in Iraq why report it?
    US media increasingly impatient at lack of civil war in Iraq
    US Embassy in Syria warns of sex attacks. So how long will Bill be visiting for?
    Delighted Dems: "The surge has failed!"
    MSM spokesman: There are no civil war clashes in Gaza!
    Palestinians still wonder why their real civil war can't knock Iraq "civil war" off the front page
    As Albanians welcome Bush and show love for USA, NY Times offers them free subscriptions to "solve problem"
    Paris gets out of jail faster than an illegal immigrant
    Socialist utopia takes foothold in Venezuela as water cannons salute victory
    Pelosi: "I've seen climate change." John Fogerty of CCR also wants to know "if she's ever seen rain"
    Democrats call for troop withdrawal from Jersey
    Harry Reid: "Troop presence in New Jersey creating more terrorists"
    French riot police deployed as open minded, tolerant socialists expected to react to election results
    Progressives concerned with Sarkozy's "extremist agenda " of rule of law and assimilation to French culture
    Dems: War needs deadline; only social policies can run indefinitely
    Sheryl Crow to wipe out global warming one butt at a time
    Va Tech lessons for MSM: must ban guns, rich kids
    ACLU calls for calm, fears backlash against innocent gun owners: 'all gun owners aren't terrorists'
    Liberal groups join gun tolerance and awareness workshops
    Gun owners converting to Islam in droves to ward off profiling
    Sharp jump in number of 'non-decapitated' babies following Supreme Court decision
    Sharpton makes a list of 57 Don Imus sympathizers on public airwaves
    Al Gore and John Kerry agree: people who live in greenhouses should not expel noxious gases
    Al Gore hired by K-Y to pro-
    mote Global Warming Jelly
    New study shows Earth's 'fever' contagious; Mars asks planets to kick 'Greenhouse Mary' out of solar system
    Schumer demands Karl Rove be indicted on 1976 parking ticket
    Al Qaeda reacts to Schumer attack: "Thank Allah we're not Republicans!"
    Dems: Khalid Sheik Mohamed just watched too many episodes of 24 and made all that stuff in his confession up
    Fitzgerald to prosecute Ann Coulter for disclosing identity of presidential candidate John Edwards
    Following Scooter Libby success, media demands journalists be included on all future juries
    Kent State professor calls for bin Laden victory: time to bring in the National Guard again?
    Hollywood to America: our moral issues are better than your moral issues
    Obama promises to "purge himself" if he loses to Hillary to spare the public a lengthy trial
    House vote: Insurgents react with non-binding IED
    Democrat leaders don't support terrorists but they support their mission
    North Korea agrees to nuclear disarmament, media hails Madeleine Albright
    Bush: I support Democrat majority - but not their mission
    Is it time for Pinochet yet?
    see CITGO think HUGO CHAVEZ

    Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History

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