Young Peacemakers Unite!


The glorious certificate and information to obtain it can be found at http://notoyguns.org The phone number for further information is (310) 399-1000.
I am quite positive that each and every one of you will call this number to proudly proclaim your rejection of plastic firearms. Personally, I have already submitted my requests on behalf of the children Lee Harvey Oswald, Sirhan Sirhan, Mark David Chapman, and John J. Rambo.
And if halting senseless gun violence is not enough for you to be motivated to seek this award, if you read the fine print at the bottom of the certificate you will notice that it is also "PRINTED ON RECYCLED PAPER"
Your children can go green while rejecting mean. Please help out the cause by participating in this peaceful pledge.


Hand over my young peacemaker certificate


Please place your order for unarmed children today...
(child size re-education impaling stakes sold separately)




1) Why I do not eat candy.
2) Why I love to eat vegetables.
3) Why I redistribute my allowance to poorer kids.
4) Why I will not have sex until I'm married.
5) Why I always obey my parents.






Dedhedvedev
Soon there will be other progressive certificates..
I like your idea of expanding such pledges.Why I won't buy 64oz soft drinks.Why I won't live in a right to work state.Why I won't buy my own contraception.Why I won't ever vote Republican.


Anyer Marx
Why play with toy guns when the real ones are so much more fun? ... Do I still get my "Young Peacemaker" Merit Award?Brilliant, Marx.


No one needs a Red Ryder BB Gun.




China amending its law on the elderly to require that adult children visit their aged parents is missing the boat entirely. Offering "Visiting Certificates" is the real answer to their problems.




ThePeoplesComrade
china old people.PNGChina amending its law on the elderly to require that adult children visit their aged parents is missing the boat entirely. Offering "Visiting Certificates" is the real answer to their problems.
ComradePeoples, would "Visiting Certificates" be available through Commissar Algore just like Carbon Credits?


Sugar Daddy Bear
The definitive squirrel killer. I only use this for "hunting".50cal2.jpg
Ok, I officially have "squirrel gun envy."


Red Menace
ThePeoplesComrade
The attachment china old people.PNG is no longer availableChina amending its law on the elderly to require that adult children visit their aged parents is missing the boat entirely. Offering "Visiting Certificates" is the real answer to their problems.
ComradePeoples, would "Visiting Certificates" be available through Commissar Algore just like Carbon Credits?
Certainly and at a vastly reduced introductory price for the first three participants because "this is for the children and the planet". You can also get a free abortion with the purchase of one round trip to Europe in our Think Green Jumbo Jet.


Tovarichi
Sugar Daddy Bear
The definitive squirrel killer. I only use this for "hunting".50cal2.jpg
Ok, I officially have "squirrel gun envy."
Ah yes, the Barrett M-82 A1, reach out and touch a 'squirrel' at about 1.3 miles and pretty much vaporize