Komrades, I have caught wind of a shocking new report about Donald Hum -er- Trump. It seems that he is starting to try to camouflage himself against the democratic party.

You see, Trump has already deployed a single Agitation Squad to attempt to convert people to his Cult of Trump. Basically, these squads work exactly in the same way as our Glorious State-Issued HappyFunTime Posters, but except instead of glorifying the State and Kollektivism, they attempt to put the kapitalist bastard in a good light.

These squads tell you that Trump's policies are actually Hillary's or even Bernie's policies, and then they get you to agree with the policies, and then they tell you that they're actually Trump policies. Now, why is he bashing us? Our State torturing Kapitalists and burning businessmen at the stake is NOTHING compared to this savage mind trick designed to poison the mind, break the back, and ultimately create a dissenter out of a loyal Party devotee.

But, this report is the only instance of an agitation squad being filmed. There may be hundreds, thousands, even millions of squads throughout the Kollektive trying to indoctrinate you into Trumpism. You must counter every Republikkan argument, and you must also be suspicious of any demokrat-supporter; They may be a squad member trying to get you to bite the hook so that you can be reeled in. Reeled into what you ask? The stone-cold dungeon of Trump's Kult of Trump, Money, Power, and Kapitalism. Be vigilant Komrades!

The report:

Comrade, let me first quell your fears in saying that this is not an uncoordinated mass of opinion, but merely the result of our Flexpolicy™ experiments gone wrong. You see, once the subject has been inundated with Flexpolicy™, all they need is the name of the Party-approved candidate, and then Flexpolicy™ gets to work by suppressing the parts of the brain responsible for discerning one candidate's position from the next, thus creating a much more suitable voter.

However, there have been some cases where Flexpolicy™ has gotten out of hand, leaving subjects unable to comprehend anything outside of the candidate's boundaries. Unfortunately at that point, there's little that can be done aside from give them a permanent position on the campaign staff and forever convince them that their candidate is still running for office. In the end though, some occasionally manage to wander off, and sometimes must be put down before they become a danger to humans.

Comrade Stierlitz wrote:You see, Trump has already deployed a single Agitation Squad to attempt to convert people to his Cult of Trump. Basically, these squads work exactly in the same way as our Glorious State-Issued HappyFunTime Posters, but except instead of glorifying the State and Kollektivism, they attempt to put the kapitalist bastard in a good light.

Agitation Squads, eh? With a little Oxi-Clean he may be able to use the Spin Cycle to clean up his image and leave it cuddly soft with no clinging static from the Democrats.