Eat it, Trotskyites! Whether this reporting is true or not, this is good news for the Party. Anything is moral as long as it raises awareness about social justice and the struggle for the Common Good(TM)!

Indymedia UK wrote:Eighty eight years of the day Trotsky directed the suppression of the anarchist uprising in Krondstadt, a group of bandits scaled the walls of his former house in Mexico City during the late hours at night.



Repost of english translation:

Eighty eight years of the day Trotsky directed the suppression of the anarchist uprising in Krondstadt, a group of bandits scaled the walls of his former house in Mexico City during the late hours at night. We broke the lock on his mausoleum and we expropriate the content inside it: a silver large vase that bears the inscription of his name, wrapped in the red scarf that he carried around the neck, containing the ashes of the corpse inside. We replace with care the lock in the monument with a reproduction that was similar in the appearance and escaped into the night.

The vase along with its content then was taken far away to a place where the vase was discarded and the content (a combination of ash and bone) were baked in cookies. These cookies then were sent, along with a letter that explains our actions, to newspapers, to organizations of Trotskyists, and to the groups of anarchist around the world.

While we will not repeat everything of our full letter, briefly we propose to give new light to the idea that history does not end with the past and still a small group of bandits can give new direction to fights thought long to be frozen in the time. We want to expand the fight to include dead objects of the past that hold hostage us in the present.

Nevertheless, if Trotsky is right about the history, we do not determine anything, but we are only characters whose actions were written in the revolution of October. As was his destiny, coincidentally, to come to be a cookie.

The ones that receive these cookies have a decision. Through time, the act to consume enemies have been seen as a way to absorb their powers. On the other hand, consuming the body and the blood of the dead person as a sacrament have also been a form of worship. We would want to indicate that, at any rate, the result is always shit.

For those a little delicate, we have tried them, and although they be a little sandy, they are delicious. The green dots, by the way, they are just candies.

How soon before the fighters against capitalist profiteering start posting Trotsky Cookies on eBay?

Dear Glorious Incarnadine Trapezoid,

I was so taken with the this act (and having flashbacks to Stranger in a Strange Land), that I felt the need to see if it were, in fact, possible, or if it would ruin a perfectly good cookie recipe to add cremated remains... People don't realize that baking is very much better living through chemistry, and while cookies are not a particularly difficult thing to produce, generally, some recipes must be made just so, with very specific ingredients for them to work. And so I was shocked to find out that these Mexican youths are not the creators of this recipe! There is, in fact, posted on Epicurioustalinist.com, a recipe for "To Die For Chocolate Trotsky Smarties Cookies". Despite my Russian roots, and my familiarity with the cuisine of the region, I have never come across such a recipe among the various foods of my motherland... such traditional things as borscht, okroshka, black rye bread with drippings and pickled herring, caviar - though it is not something I like - kasha, pelmeni, vereniki and pickled vegetables - cucumber, mushrooms, beets and cabbage... kielbasa and dry salami. zharkoye and shashlik... zapekanka... tvorog and syrniki, palachinkas and blini... and well made kulich... but never these biscuits.

Yet, all I have to do is Goolag this recipe and immediately, I find this, which must, according to the article, be my destiny, just as it was Trotsky's destiny to become a cookie:

DROP DEAD TO-DIE-FOR CHOCOLATE-DROP TROTSKY SMARTIES COOKIES (the same recipe can be found under Bronstein Burnt and Bayoneted Bolshevik Bon Bon Biscotti)



These cookies are flavorful and chewy, with a slightly sandy under-texture, and they make a great weekend treat or lunchbox addition. Make these with walnuts or pecans* and decorate with Smarties, or make them without nuts if it is not your child's destiny to have a life-threatening anaphylactic reaction to nuts if they are allergic.

Ingredients:

* 2 cups all-purpose flour
* stolen cremated remains of Leon Trotsky**
* 1/2 teaspoon powdered chili pepper flakes***
* 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa
* 1 teaspoon baking powder
* 1/4 teaspoon salt
* 8 ounces unsalted butter (2 sticks), softened
* 1 cup light brown sugar, firmly packed
* 2/3 cup granulated sugar
* 2 large eggs
* 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
* 1 cups finely chopped walnuts or pecans, optional*
* SMARTIES for decoration

Tools required:
Bowl, electric mixer, baking sheets, baking parchment, spatula and measuring cups and spoons, lock-pick, replacement lock, flashlights, ladder, **mortar and pestle (optional)

Preparation:
Sift together the flour, cremated remains, powdered chili flakes, cocoa, baking powder, and salt. Set aside.

Cream butter and sugars until light and fluffy. Beat in eggs, one at a time, beating after each addition. Beat in vanilla.

On low speed, beat in flour mixture a little at a time, until well blended and smooth. Stir in chopped walnuts.

Drop chocolate cookie dough onto parchment-lined baking sheets by rounded tablespoons, about 2 inches apart.

Press in Smarties to decorate. Bake at 350° for 12 to 15 minutes, or until set.

Cool on pans on rack for about 5 minutes; transfer chocolate cookies to rack to cool completely.

Makes about 4 to 5 dozen chocolate cookies

* leave out nuts if they are an allergy danger, unless it is your child's destiny to have a life-threatening anaphylactic reaction to nuts

**depending on the consistency of the remains, and the potential bone content, the remains may be powdered using a mortar and pestle if one is concerned about the possibility of breaking a tooth, unless the person's destiny is to break a tooth. In the instance of children, take into account whether the will be consumer has lost all their baby teeth or it is their destiny to lose an adult tooth.

*** The Mexican version calls for powdered chilies, presumably in the tradition of such things as Mole Sauce.

Nutrients per cookie: about 85 Calories, 0.5 g Protein, 4.5g Fat, 11 g Carbohydrates, not including fibre, and other minerals and calcium from ashes and bones

I can only add, Grok and Enjoy!
Sister Massively Opiated
... having the munchies...

What people should but don't know about Trotsky.



May I have a cookie now?

Thank you, Sister, for the much needed academic research.

I can only add a picture of the tool that prepared Trotsky for the recipe and, perhaps, tenderized him a bit...


And this is a picture of the re-enactment of the historic drama.


One more purely academic question remains to be answered: is eating Trotsky by a member of the opposition political movement considered cannibalism?

(Snort!) No!

But now I will surely have to dig out the camera and provide instructional information and fotos of Kulak Capitalicus, better known at the common Kulak Monster. We have be dealing with an infestation that took hold during the winter, and although their behaviour is of a similar type, their appearance can vary drastically. I will see if the batteries are charged in the camera (unless the little bastards have stolen them, along with my butter and coffee stores and a samovar my grandmother left me that meant a great deal to me... they like shiny things and the little bastards not only pooped in it but dented it) The Rat Thing and I have been making slow but steady progress in expelling and exterminating them since the weather has become warmer, and I have found many small trinkets and critical foodstuffs - which thankfully, they did not foul)... I will send images as soon as possible, but in the mean time, remember than these creatures will often 'play possum' if you happen to catch them unawares and enter a room while they are raiding it, taking on the appearance of a Ushanka... so, check your Ushankas people (I'm sorry Red.... I know this is not the correct way to pluralize Ushanka, but my Russian is rusty). There is nothing worse than having just finished your weekly bath, your tepid water ration coupon gone, only to reach for your warm headgear to find that it is actually a Kulak Monster in disguise and playing dead, especially as when they are frightened, and attempting to escape, they often urinate and defecate uncontrollably.

But enough of Kulak Monsters... we'll have a spate of nightmares in the creche again... back to the matter at hand...

Cannibalism? No! Think of it as supplementing. Now, if he were not cremated and baked into a tasty cookie, that would be another thing. That would be Capitalism.

This gives an entirely new ring to the notion of political movement...

The new "People's Tasty Creme". Food for the masses.

Zarkof, I would think that the the cookies made of Trotsky cremains would be just part of a Healthy Progressive Meal, along with People's Tasty Creme. In fact I can see serving two Trotsky cookies with PTC between them--a sort of Progressive Oreo. If you feel like splurging, you can trade in an extra beet ration for a Progressive Oreo with Double People's Stuff in between.

Sister, your Kulak monsters have managed to find their way below the Red River, it seems. All these years I thought that they were Texas cockroaches, pace Gilbert Shelton when Phineas' mother sends his comic-book collection from Texas, but it sounds so much better to say that you have Kulak monsters instead of roaches.

Comrades, do you think that we ought to have a Trotsky and PTC party, along with beet wine, for the upcoming May 1 celebration? I personally can think of nothing more patriotic.

a sort of Progressive Oreo.

Didn't he already get elected?

Thank you, Commissar. I could use a change from beets and cabbage. The Progressive Oreo™ would be a healthy meal and "food for thought" for any Comrade.

Yes, but would having an entire nation eat Progressive Oreos, as redefined by Betinov, be a violation of the Defense of Marriage Act?

Comrades! I have the proper solution for our upcoming May Day celebrations! A Progressive Tea Party! We can tea-bag all of the lesser-but-equal comrades while we dine on Progressive Oreos. After all, what could be more emblematic of the Current Progressive Order than two chocolate cookies with communist ashes baked in, smeared in the middle with a big helping of shit?

I was thinking that there could be a great big People's Cube caldron for making Kulak soup. Socialism as cannibalism and all that. But perhaps a big People's Cube Easy Bake oven for making cookies... "Come on in, children. We're baking cookies!"

The Obama administration likes the idea. They're using this as economic policy already.

And who would be better to bake the cookies than Our Many Titted Empress--with her house of candy in the woods.

Margaret, socialism <i>is</i> cannibalism, but it is a truism which can never be said enough.

What about the Greenpeace Socialist Handbook? Using only union-grown or fair-trade products.

Eventually it all gets back to Soylent Green, doesn't it?

Comrades, this saddens me. I had great hopes of being able to someday snort a line of Trotsky, not eat him in a damned capitalist cookie! I shall have to go back to doing lines of powdered beets instead...

7.62, why do you not consult with Red Star and the Hemlock Hospitality line of beaneries? I see no reason that they could not offer a sidebar on the menu of Trotsky viands. Now they wouldn't have to be real Trotsky, any more than the pieces of the true cross were actually that. They just have to be <i>blessed</i> as pieces of the True Trotsky.

And who better to bless them as pieces of the True Trotsky than Red? There is kosher food, overseen by a rabbi; now we can have Trotsky food, overseen by Red.

I just thank Stalin that this Trotsky was foolish enough to keep his back turned long enough to prepare him for his destiny as a cookie. Comrades....I would write more but I find myself with a great cookie "high" after only one. If only I had known Trotsky cookies back in my college days.....The colors.....the colors..... all red of course,

Do you think we could market them with chocolate-covered expresso beans? The high would be irresistible and we would therefore be able to run them into state-run rehabilitation centers. And pocket the fees.

Obamissar 7.62 wrote:Comrades, this saddens me. I had great hopes of being able to someday snort a line of Trotsky, not eat him in a damned capitalist cookie! I shall have to go back to doing lines of powdered beets instead...

... Ashes to ashes, and crust to crust...

We could make Trotksy Kilogram cakes but short the measures.

What about Trostky divinity candy?

How about a powdered Trotsky covered donut? Trotsky Koffee? Trotsky Powder to relieve rash and skin ailments, as well as feeding brains in jars, and gluing limbs back onto bodies?

7.62, I am the last to fail to ascribe magical powers to the cremains of dear Trotsky, but <i>gluing</i> limbs onto bodies? Isn't that just the opposite of what he was after?

In fact I would think that Magic Trotksy powder could be used as a hemolytic or anticoagulant. It might even be used to replace Heparin. Spread Trotsky ashes on the feet of vampire bats and they will shit themselves to death.

Commissar Theo, it worked for Torgo's Executive Powder in the first Futurama movie, why would it not work with Trotsky powder?

7.62, that's an extra two hours of digging beets!

Torgo's Executive Powder is from a movie. Trotsky is a saint. You can tell from the stigma in his head.

But Commissar Theo, if Trotsky is a saint with the stigma in his head, would not his powder have miraculous healing properties, much like Torgo's Executive Powder?

There's healing and there's healing. Normal healing is making holes in people close up. But Progressive Healing is healing the society, which means making antisocial people go away.

And to do this sometimes we need to, er, hack them up into little bits and pieces. It beats starving them in concentration camps. You don't have to build the camp and pretend to feed them. And if they're all hacked up they can't write memoirs like Primo Levi or Solzenitzen.

Dead men tell no tales. If they're dead and disappeared that's really good.

Can we make cookies from the hacked up bits too?

This might be stepping into the affairs of Red Star's Hemlock Hospitality, which serves Soylent Green. Or in this case Soylent Red. Because in 2012 Red will be the new Green. Didn't know that, did you?

Here's the recipe.
1. Three parts ground kulak and prole.
2. One part fair-trade soy beans
3. Two parts sawdust.
4. Three parts asbestos.
5. 1/2 part Nansky Peloski's used sanitary napkins

Season with diesel and castor oil.

Cook for five hours in a large steam kettle. Turn out onto pastry table. Roll to thickness of 1". Cut into hammer-and-sickle-shaped cookies. Serve with widows' tears and orphans' blood.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:...but <i>gluing</i> limbs onto bodies? Isn't that just the opposite of what he was after?

An excellent example is this pair of shoes made of prole feet. Comfortable in any weather and have a fun feature of turning blue when walking on snow or ice. Low in maintenance - just spray them with Odor-Eaters when they begin to smell and apply sunblock in the summer.

Don't you think we could sell them for more with contrasting shoe strings?

Also, do you think that we could come up with a pair of Prole Pumps for Our Many Titted Empress' trotters?

I think I have just the thing for her - made on special order.

And while we're at the shoe section of the Party Inner Circle Supply Depot, may I also suggest these "High Tide" flipper pumps for our SMO? You know, for the periods when her "combat-trained dolphin" inner comrade overpowers all the other inner comrades and becomes in charge of Housekeeping...

These will allow her to perform her combat missions against the Somali pirates not only with more bang, but also with great style.

Ah, Red, a spike heel in a sports shoe for Our Many Titted Empress! How charming. Have you seen the comments on another thread about something to contain her ass? Prestressed concrete was I think the final solution although I'm voting for carbon-fiber-reinforced Tyvek.

Flipper pumps? Those could be used to fling dog shit on the streets of Manhattan at people, you know.

By the way, I'm now wondering about what sort of bustier that Our Many Titted Empress would most like. Cones, like Madonna? Just how many cones could she wear? After all, there has to be a cone for Iran, one for Palestine, and a cone for every other place where she goes to apologize for America.

And as for His O'liness, what about a version of those keychain photo albums? Instead of pictures of Gramps and Deedles, we could have his speech, so that he would not be embarrassed like this:

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/eDJSVPAx8xc&c ... ram><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/eDJSVPAx8xc&c ... edded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

You don't know where to look.

This talk about shoes just made me realize I will have to get clothing to match the personas of my Inner Comrades(TM). Does one get an extra clothing allowance for each Inner Comrade the party doctor identifies?

I am told that the test cookie kitchen at 'Better Homes and Kulaks'
tried the recipe three times, with the ashes of Bob Hope,
Jack Benny, and John Belushi,
but each batch tasted funny.

7.62, it is terribly important to have the closing to match your Inner Comrade--or anything else. "All clothing is drag" is a wise statement. After all, where would Hitler and Mussolini be without their uniforms? One must look the part.

Ahh I am going to have a huge wardrobe then Commissar Theo. Why the clothing for Comrade Violet alone... Perhaps Bruno can give me some tips?

Bruno would have everyone looking like something out <i>La Cage aux Folles</i>. There wouldn't be enough plastic fruit to go around.


There is a saying, or was, in the gay world, "All clothing is drag," which is one of the wisest things that I've ever heard. I actually got a 14-year-old cousin, bright but unconcerned, to take notice of that. I didn't believe it at his age.

Comrade Theocritus, it is good that we can speak openly. While I have not discerned whom among us controls the teleprompter through which the American president receives the party's instructions, patriotism demands that you ensure that he not be without it at any time while he speaks.

Yes, I know that at least one of you controls the teleprompter.

It must function perfectly always! I would be honored to catch the traitors who almost let the American president think for himself with their neglect of duty. I will find them, and I will personally deliver them to Lenin once he comes out of hibernation again.

Secretary Toka - welcome to the Cube. As a new comrade you still have a lot to learn - among other things, that sending transmissions to Obama's teleprompter is an exclusive responsibility of Laika the Space Dog who has been orbiting Earth since 1957, controlling tinfoil hats of all progressive people of good will around the world.

Yes, Toka, welcome. Laika is indeed in charge of TOTUS. However, please know that my houseboy Bruno is has recreated himself as a milliner, and is redesigning the new tin-foil hats which all Made Progressives shall wear.

These will receive signals on the Ku band. This means that no tin-foil hat needs to be bigger than 18"--the size of DirecTV or Dish antennae. But if clouds gather to the south, all Made Progressives and of course His O'liness will start posterization. This is signified by an increasing frequency of "...uh..." In video, a screen says that there are transmission problems. Verbally the signifier is, "I didn't have much sleep last night," which is very useful because it acts as an excuse and is passive-aggressive in implying that you have lost sleep working on Party business.

Be sure to give Laika a current shipping address. The last thing we want is for a Made Progressive to be out of synch with other Made Progressives and have to--and I shudder as I write this--think.

Can I get a Government coupon for a converter box to use with my old tinfoil hat ?

The one I have now fits comfortably and picks up Laika, CNN and MSNBC pretty well .

Terry_Jim, the government will be glad to provide you with a convertor for your tin-foil hat.

Just ask for it when you go in for your next tune-up at Jifi-Lobo. You know when you need to go in: Every three months or every three unprogressive thoughts.

I saw some pictures of an attractive female comrade and had three unprogressive thoughts in about as many seconds. And this was AFTER my regular Jiffi-Lobo(TM). Methinks the Inner Comrades(TM) were out of control that day.

7.62, it depends on how you define attractive. If by attractive you mean like a young Jacqueline Smith or Racquel Welsh, then that is indeed lookist and you cannot do that. But if your attraction is to Yelling Ylena or this progressive of the first water, then you are <i>supposed</i> to feel attracted:
Spread the love around.

Ahh I have failed miserably because I find neither Yelena or the horrible sight you pictured attractive.

Makes you want to burn every bed on earth.

Here's another Progressive
Ugly is not only skin deep.

Tell me Comrade Theo, is it true that Bruno has fantasies of Comrade Moore in Drag singing Over The Rainbow in a bar with sawdust strewn on the floor?

Sawdust?
Twinkie wrappers, most likely.

When Bruno saw that picture of Comrade Moore, he squealed, "Long pig! When are we gonna have another barbecue, Theocritus? I wanna barbecue some long pig!"

Our research department has discovered this suspicious development on https://totallylookslike.com


Anyone up for Crispy Trotsky Nuggets?

It's the round glasses that make him a Progressive, Red. The round glasses. { Have you noticed that? I truly does seem to be true. }

So THAT"S why the 11 herbs and spices were a secret.