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The Only "Shovel Ready" is a "Shovel Sharpened"

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Comrades,

During a recent Party discussion*, Hero Space Dog Laika, Friend of People, raised the disturbing issue that he had recently often heard "the catch phrase "shovel ready" in the news, in newspapers, and now commercials." and that The Peoples Cube had, in fact, been "Shovel Ready" since April of 2005.

It is common practice for politicians, the mainstream media, and so called pundits to lay claim to the very ideas and ideologies presented in The Peoples Cube, as these ideas become more popular, and despite the fact that these very pundits, lacking as they do in intelligence, imagination, and originality often deride the very concepts they eventually claim as their own, despite their obvious inability to conceive of such original thoughts. Eschewing as we do the concept of ownership, we have often put up with such mining of our intellectual property, feeling that if it is the only way that non-Cubists can be exposed to our wisdom, then so be it.

However, despite ownership of property, physical or intellectual, being anathema, "Shovel Ready" is simply too precious a notion to give over to those who would claim is at their own. There is too much potential for its misuse, and so many of you may have noticed a recent addition to our banner, proclaiming for all to see, the priority of this foundational concept. Further, as the idea of 'shovel ready' becomes more mainstream, we feel it is important that its origins not be lost, nor misused by those who would then twist and turn its meaning and so during our Party discussion, I presented for the Party's consideration a Statement of Intent, which I have been asked to share with you here:
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Tout le Gang**,

The Republicrats and Democrans and their lackey media boot-licking toadies may have co-opted "shovel ready", but until the day they exercise eminent domain and appropriate the term "Shovels Sharpened", we will continue to dig for what is ours, and should they attempt to exercise eminent domain, our sharpened shovels shall undermine their claim, physically and metaphorically, through the act of tunneling under the very things they attempt to expropriate, just as they claim 'air space' over specific geographic areas, or extend the borders of their evil empire outward from terra firma itself via the legal concept of the 200 mile nautical boundary delineation of the empire's borders - so we shall exercise our right to eminent domain to the foundation of their false Nation of Kulaks.

So... "Shovel ready' may have become a trendy catchphrase, but while they play with words, we will continue to take back what is ours... the very bowels of the means of production... and by doing so, we will both starve and constipate these pretenders... these false bipartisans... and take back for The Party what is rightfully ours... our carrots, our potatoes.... our BEETS!

Fellow Kommissars.... a 'ready shovel' is useless if it is not being used... Keep our shovels sharp and Undermine! Undermine! Undermine! Our whetstones must constantly be at the ready, as should a very very very large group of proles, prairie dogs and naked mole rats.***

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Victory will be ours. The surface shall be the Party's (and so the peoples'). The Air Space shall be Laika's (and... well... it shall be Laika's). And the earth... the very soil in which The Peoples Cube is rooted shall forever remain The Peoples Cube's (and so our Glorious Incarnadine Trapezoid Leader's and the Kommissars to whom he grants its boon).

To quote Comrade Otis, "Character Counts! Character Counts! Character Counts!"

Shovel Sharpened Comrades. Shovel Sharpened!
Sister Massively Opiated
(coming out of hibernation... fully caffeinated...)

* I include details of this Party discussion with the express permission of our Glorious Incarnadine Trapezoid Leader, Red Square.

** In explication of my use of French, I admit to being confused when I wrote it, but only because I had just awoken from hibernation and found I had been sleep-swimming and had, accidentally stumbled into a French Muslim Youth Riot and apparently hidden from the police in a hydro substation in Paris in some ghetto-ized arrondissement, gotten electrocuted and then in a daze, set fire to a teeny weeny electric auto... and so every few words were coming out en Frencais...that said, it did produce a potentially more timely Cubist version of Le Marseilles...
(Lautrec! More coffee and Absinthe, you widdle linseed huffing aesthete! I have a mind to introduce you to Bonnie... Vite! vite, vous syphilitique féerique.... )
Plus Tard, Mes Amis
The Dolphin (going through my blue period... but then, all my periods are blue... )...

Allons enfants de la Trapèze Rouge
Le jour de gloire est arrivé !

da dum da dum da dum.... dadumda dada dumdum daaaa da dum dadum da dum daaaa da dadum...

Aux pelles, cubistes,
Formez vos bataillons,
Pellons!, Pellons!
Qu'un sang impur
Abreuve nos sillons!

da dum da dum da dum da dum dum dum da da da dum dum dadada...

***Also, I include this link to "Naked Mole Rat Gets Dressed", which I found while researching Naked Mole Rats for my Statement of Intent... I admit to being strangely and unnaturally curious about the description given by the book's Publisher, describing Grandpah, 'the most naked' of the naked mole rats and thought perhaps a human perspective might be useful as these creatures are completely foreign to dolphins and we're always naked anyway, unless we're wearing our weapons harnesses... I am also taken with the placement of the discount sticker on the book's cover and wonder if it was put there specifically, on purpose... anyway, From the Publisher: Wilbur is different from the other Naked Mole Rats in his Colony, because he wears clothes (and he likes it!). But what will happen when Grandpah, the oldest, wisest, and most naked Naked Mole Rat ever discovers Wilbur's secret?

Ooooh!... I am on tenterhooks and my have to see if it is on the Karl Marx Treatment Centre allowed reading list.

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Comrade SMO,

So glad to see you back! Also glad to see this is getting the circulation it deserves.

It would seem that there isanother project claiming to be more shovel ready than The Cube, which it is not, but it does have a nice avatar.

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Maybe the 24% off sticker is to denote the amount, or length, of Wilbur's wang that was whacked off by a sharpened shovel? (Or even, dare I suggest, a mole that's a mohel?)

In fact, that could be the new "fig leaf." How many of you male comrades out there would feel comfortable sporting a 24% off (or whatever percentage you think is being discounted) sticker over your man-bits?

Of course we'd remove the sticker when you check out.

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How much 24% off on a stimulus package?

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Oh, and there's also a pancake-styled sticker on Michelle's head as she horses around on top of a pink dolphin... No doubt something from SMO's dreams during the most recent pink period...

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- https://blogs.citypages.com/blotter/200 ... _obama.php

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Glorious Red Square,

There is actually a species of dolphin known as the Pink River Dolphin (which like almost all different species of river or freshwater dolphins, are endangered species) and perhaps the 'artist' was attempting to depict just such a dolphin...

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The pink river dolphin or Amazon dolphin (it has many names, but it's primary habitat is the Orinoco) is sometimes confused with albino dolphins, which may appear pink, but a true pink dolphin is, in fact, a district species of river dolphin.

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That said, rather than attempting to depict an Amazon or Pink River Dolphin, I suspect from the nature of the painting (I hesitate to use the word 'artwork') that the 'artist' was actually attempting to depict a Code Pink Dolphin, also sometimes known as the Demonstrating Dyke Dolphin.

I, however, am a rare cross between a common dolphin....

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and spinner dolphin,

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both of which are primarily blue in colour. And here ends our lesson for today.

Now, speaking of stimulus packages, where are my sardines? You promised me sardines... Saaaar-deeeeeens... NOW!
SMO

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Please explain the significance of the Bananas?
Oh...and while we're at it....the dog collar?
And is that an Obama "codpiece"?

Sooooo many questions...so little time.

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Red Square, you forgot the glorious companion piece to that painting:

[img]/images/Unicorn_Obama_Victory.jpg[/img]

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Comrades Pinkie and Red Square my eyes burn, and my brain is in horrible pain. Clearly I am not yet in touch with my inner comrade. Will someone whack me upside the head with a shovel while humming a progressive tune for a bit please?

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Off....way off and out of character.

Whisky Tango Foxtrot!

Unicorns?
I've seen green alley gators and long necked geese, some humpty backed camels and some Chimpy Bushitlers...b b but WTF is that? Jeeze Louise? I got my morning coffee coming out my nose.
The horror....the horror...
The only way those POS ...dare I say "paintings" could be uglier is if they were done in velvet as black light posters.
Can you smell the patchouli?

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Was this approved by the herder of rainbow farting unicorns?

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The Party has decided that the unicorn-riding Obama was the current truth and, as such, deserved a separate topic accordingly. You are welcome to repost your relevant comments there, especially SMO and Laika.

Obama Rides Unicorns, Michelle Rides Dolphins

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Laika the Space Dog wrote:Please explain the significance of the Bananas?
Oh...and while we're at it....the dog collar?
And is that an Obama "codpiece"?

Sooooo many questions...so little time.

Comrade Commissar Laika,

I don't really think that's a dog collar... especially if it's a Code Pink Dolphin (or at least not if it's anything like the 'jewelry' worn at Toronto's Pride Parade)... and also because dolphins don't wear dog collars...

As for the bananas... the codpiece (if it was a piece of cod I might have some insight) and all the rest, I'm just a fucking dolphin... I just know dolphin stuff... and shovels... and laser-guided weapons systems... (JOKING... kinda)... but really, I just know dolphin stuff...

That said, given the unicorns and all the pink shit and weird floating thingies and mythological type stuff, I'm getting a My Little Pink Porno vibe... I think you're gonna hafta turn to Strangelove or Theo for this stuff.

I'm just a simple dolphin that the Navy turned into a highly trained and weaponized killing machine who now takes care of clean-up around the Cube, along with me and my pod... We have simple needs... like sardines, good coffee, classic punk rock and 80's retro tunes on Friday nights, and the occasional shipment of Polonium 210... a 'decommissioned' RQ-1 Predator or RQ-9 Reaper... a beamrider here or there... some replacement parts for the Tupolev (the requisition for which I put in LAST OCTOBER but you were all so wound up about the stupid election down there, like there's not gonna be another one in two years and then another in two more years... it's like all Americans do is have freaking elections... wouldn't it just be easier to do all the shit that needs to be done, yourselves?... isn't that what your consitution says, "for the people, by the people?".... dolphins just do whatever the fuck we want to... ... .. sorry... I'm just a bit frustrated cause I've been waiting for those parts for SEVEN MONTHS now and if Meow and Dr. P start getting into trouble, and as it's spring you know they will, then what the hell am I supposed to use to extract them with? Huh?... nobody ever listens to the dolphin... sorry... you know I'm grumpy when I just wake up...)... um... where was I?... oh yeah.. simply things... a new impact gun, a 300 psi air compressor, a radial fin saw, a Milwaukee SDS-max hammer drill, a Hepburn B232/05 embalming machine, what else... just your average dolphin stuff... and sardines... did I mention the sardines?

Yaawwwn.... anyway... I better get some zzzzzz's if I'm gonna get to work on these necroprox... on cleaning up around the Cube... just taking care of the Housekeeping Kommissariate's duties... laundry... dusting... decontaminating Meow...
So, sweet dreams, Hero Space Dog... let me know if you get any answers to those questions... now I'm sorta curious in that most naked Naked Mole Rat sorta way... but please tell Red that nobody rides a dolphin but another dolphin... it's how we roll...

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Good to see you back,SMO.
I've missed your posts. They're always very interesting(in a good way:)).

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Sister Massively Opiated wrote:isn't that what your constitution says, "for the people, by the people?"
Good catch, SMO! The Constitution is a speciist document offensive and intolerant to non-human beings and appliances. Reason number 3084545 for it to be revised!

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Lenin 'n' Things wrote:Good to see you back,SMO.
I've missed your posts. They're always very interesting(in a good way:)).

yeah... and some are funny... but are they 'funny... ha-ha' or 'funny... don't sit next to me on the bus'? at least nobody's called them 'special'.

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Shovels sharpened and ready for cooking! Nothing tastes better than guerrilla shovel fried eggs in the morning.

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Red Square wrote:
Sister Massively Opiated wrote:isn't that what your constitution says, "for the people, by the people?"
Good catch, SMO! The Constitution is a speciist document offensive and intolerant to non-human beings and appliances. Reason number 3084545 for it to be revised!
Thank Boss,

But regardless of it's marginalizing language which is easily amended to "For the entities, by the entities... " (though legally, this would include corporations, although I suspect it already does) does it still not make sense to just do some shit for ourselves instead of waiting for the Brazil-like inner workings of the overgrown and biliously tumescence that governments have become, and which seem, despite our best efforts, to just keep growing and growing until one day more of us will be civil servants than not... and not because there is less government.... to do things for us?

... Or should I just denounce myself and write up the invoice to go to my family for my bullet now?

My final request will be sardines, please.
SMO

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Sister Massively Opiated wrote:
Lenin 'n' Things wrote:Good to see you back,SMO.
I've missed your posts. They're always very interesting(in a good way:)).

yeah... and some are funny... but are they 'funny... ha-ha' or 'funny... don't sit next to me on the bus'? at least nobody's called them 'special'.

Some are funny, as in freakin' hilarious. And I mean hilarious in the non-special way. I mean,you ARE quite special,don't get me wrong...just not in the special way that you might have meant special...not that I think you meant "special" in any sort of derogatory way,nor do I suggest that there is anything wrong with being special in any context.......ooooh,I feel like Betty...my head hurts.

I just like your posts,dammit.

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My final request will be sardines, please.
SMO
Mustard sauce or Hot Cajun?

Ohhhh....I know what Kanuckistani Dolphins like!
Komrade Kippers!


 
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