Image

The Clinton Foundation's GOING OUT OF BUSINESS sale

User avatar
Image
Don't miss this post-election fire sale as the Clinton Foundation closes its doors and lays off its non-unionized employees. Everything & everyone must go!

  • All starving Third-World children are half off, barely used.
  • Deep discounts on African and Middle Eastern dictators.
  • Speaking fees $200,000 now only $20,000.
  • No refunds on pre-election deposits.
  • Government influence all sold out.
  • Uranium deals by appointment only.
  • Now available in all totalitarian states.
  • Doors close on 4/15/2017.

Don't worry, it's all legit: Filing with NYS Department of Labor

Image

User avatar
"Plant layoff"? Exactly what were they manufacturing?

User avatar
Ivan Betinov wrote:"Plant layoff"? Exactly what were they manufacturing?
uh, wasn't it - manure, Comrade Betinov? manurefacturing?

User avatar
Ivan Betinov wrote:"Plant layoff"? ...
On second thought : plant? PLANT?? yet another KREMLIN-controlled puppet???

User avatar
Ivan Betinov wrote:"Plant layoff"? Exactly what were they manufacturing?

The People's CGI Plant No. 17 manufactured the following high-quality products:

  • Hillary! for president campaign agitprop paraphernalia
  • Forward!™-thinking progressive policies (printed on 100% recycled beet skins)
  • Posters for spontaneous protests (4-6 weeks lead time on those, comrades)
  • American flags for burning at spontaneous protests (see above, available for export worldwide)
  • Videos to incite spontaneous protests (6-8 weeks lead time)
  • Fee calculators for speeches to the 0.01% (assembled from Chinese components)
  • Deporables storage baskets (made from fair-trade wicker)
  • Homemade email servers (built-to-order, pre-hacked for Russia's convenience)
  • Email server Scrubbing Bubbles™ (100% all-natural, eco-friendly, chlorine-free)
  • Portable, soundproof barriers for constructing free-speech zones
  • Reprints of Rules for Radicals, (11th Newspeak ed.)
  • Shovel-ready jobs (available for export to Haiti)

User avatar
Correction to WARN notice:

Reason for Dislocation: Unverified rumors of hostile takeover by Koch Family foundations

User avatar
Plant layoff? Does a downsized beet rate unemployment benefits? I'll be happy to assist in laundering cashing the checks...

User avatar
Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Plant layoff? Does a downsized beet rate unemployment benefits?
Comrade Ivan, all downsized offshored dis-assigned beets must report to their local commissar for re-education immediately upon termination dis-assignment. They will be reclassified as 'Unplanted Produce' so as to not affect the 100% cultivation rate. Their benefits will be taxed at a progressive 110% rate to cover the costs associated with their re-education. and proviving benefits for undocumented and/or disabled beets.

User avatar
Genosse Dummkopf wrote:
Ivan Betinov wrote:"Plant layoff"? ...
On second thought : plant? PLANT?? yet another KREMLIN-controlled puppet???
Comrade! These and other questions were answered during the 2007-08 campaign:

Planting With the Clintons For The Common Good

Image
Image
This was later enhanced and improved:

Image
Political Gardening
for the Common Good™

Planting is not just for gardeners anymore!

In this issue:
Excellent plants that make Republicans look bad
40 high-impact low-care plants
How to match a plant to its pot
Plants vs. radio waves: dos and don'ts
Cleanup tips - it's easier than you think!
GUESS THAT PLANT! New contest on page 80.
Spreading fertilizer across the fruited plain
Planting far and wide: learning from Johnny Appleseed

User avatar
... plus LAST-MINUTE Special ? :

Plant BELT!
Already PRE-SEEDED!
Coming to BLOOM THIS Friday!
To give Inauguration Day a SPECIAL SCENT!


Fanfarengriff.generic.pink.jpg


 
POST REPLY