Perhaps you have seen this meme on social media several times, but didn't know the clever pun behind it. You thought, as many others did, that “mitsake” was a misspelling of “mistake”. In fact, it is a clever pun which I, the People's Historian, have fully researched.

Notice how the meme has the numbers 1 through 15 laid out in flawless order with the legend “Re-post when you find the mitsake” written underneath. This is actually a clever reference to the great Japanese mathematician Isoruko Mitsake who made one of the most important discoveries in the history of civilized man. It was he who discovered that numbers appear in a predictable sequence. Without his discovery, mathematics as we know it today would be impossible.

But there's more to his story.

Mitsake was born in 456 (note the irony of the sequential numbers in the year of his birth) during the Kofun or Yamato Period of Japanese history. Because of draconian budget cuts in social programs during the implementation of the Code of Bushido, young Mitsake was condemned to a life of self-reliance, low self-esteem, and poverty.

Being 1/32 Native American compounded his problems. “It was difficult to fit into Japanese culture when others look at you as not completely Japanese. Other children would taunt me by dancing in circles around me, making the “wa-wa-wa-wa-wa” sound, and sticking feathers in my hair.”

Mitsake, like many bright young children, did poorly in school and was often in trouble with the law. “I was always on the run from some shogun I had just dishonored by painting his caricature on a wall,” recalled Mitsake. “This was my chosen path until my life changed and I discovered enlightenment.”

The change in Mitsake's life came when he converted to Islam in 490, just after his 34^th birthday. “When I converted to Islam,” said Mitsake in an interview related by Brian Williams, “I began to achieve understanding about peace, tolerance, women's rights, and most importantly, science.” It was this newfound love of learning, one of Islam's most distinguishing characteristics, that caused Mitsake to concentrate on numbers. By meditating on his birthdays, his eyes were opened to the fact that he had had 1^st, 2^nd, 3^rd, and 4^th birthdays, all continuing in some sort of discernible pattern up to his 34^th birthday. It was then that he realized numbers had a sequence, a predictable sequence.

He presented his theory before Japan's greatest scientific minds and predicted that his next birthday would be his 35^th. He was met with derision and ridicule, and nearly performed seppuku due to the disgrace, but decided to wait instead. Then, in 491, just as he had foretold, Mitsake turned 35. His discovery shook the world. Numbers were invented while he was still a relatively young 35. Mitsake developed functions like addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division by the time he was 56, and he was working on developing calculus until his untimely death the following year from too much sake and a tragic sampan accident. It would not be until the 17^th Century when Sir Isaac Newton would pick up where Mitsake left off.

Now you know, as Paul Harvey would say, “the rest of the story”. The next time you use numbers, thank Isoruko Mitsake, and thank Islam for bringing culture and enlightenment to the world.

There's also a theory of Mitsake's Germanic ancestry, as in modern German his name means "with sake," stemming, perhaps, from the propensity of the early European immigrant who settled in Japan, to consume alcohol with every meal. Every time he would place an order at a Japanese restaurant, he would add "mit Sake, bitte," meaning "with sake, please." Soon everyone called him "Mr. Mitsake," and when he married a local Japanese waitress, that name was passed on to his descendants.

Modern scientists, however, describe this theory as a Eurocentric attempt to tie every known human achievement to Western civilization in order to justify the continued imperialist and colonialist domination of the West over the more advanced and diverse non-European cultures.

The European claim is supported by this medieval Japanese print showing a Western-looking man courting a local waitress, though international experts at Snopes.com have debunked it as an 18th century Photoshop forgery.

Some researchers have claimed that Mitsake's cousin Netsuke attempted to carry on his work, but that Shogun Kitsune had him beheaded due to still being outraged by one of Mitsake's paintings.

Every time he would place an order at a Japanese restaurant, he would add "mit Sake, bitte," meaning "with sake, please."

Giving rise to the proverb "The German who courts the geisha mitsake, wakes up with ichisake."

Ivan Betinov is an inspiring example of a Progressive tragically persecuted for his sacrifice to the People.
Oh, how alone he must feel, as a solo instance of a living brain without a body, In a collective full of living bodies without brains.

How do we know that Mitsake was 1/32 Native American? Did he have high cheekbones?

Red Square wrote:There's also a theory of Mitsake's Germanic ancestry, as in modern German his name means "with sake," stemming, perhaps, from the propensity of the early European immigrant who settled in Japan, to consume alcohol with every meal. Every time he would place an order at a Japanese restaurant, he would add "mit Sake, bitte," meaning "with sake, please." Soon everyone called him "Mr. Mitsake," and when he married a local Japanese waitress, that name was passed on to his descendants.

Modern scientists, however, describe this theory as a Eurocentric attempt to tie every known human achievement to Western civilization in order to justify the continued imperialist and colonialist domination of the West over the more advanced and diverse non-European cultures.

The European claim is supported by this medieval Japanese print showing a Western-looking man courting a local waitress, though international experts at Snopes.com have debunked it as an 18th century Photoshop forgery.

Mitsake_Waitress.jpg

I think you're all wrong! It is a clever ruse by the Romney campaign to attack women! The Mitsake in the meme is really an abbreviation of "for Mitt's sake" but the problem is that children the world over are trying to figure this out, and girls are more likely to give up before solving the puzzle before boys are. This leads to low self esteem, taking hard drugs, and getting a degree from Ohio State University. And it just goes downhill from there. Save the girls!!!!

Who knew that the War on Womyn was so ingrained and extensive. This is why we need Common Core. There is no other way to comprehensively combat microaggression!

I knew the display of service medals would be inspirational!

By the way, comrade Komissar, it's Marshall Kapitan. It's kind of like being President Colonel Gaddafi.

I still don't understand why the man didn't promote himself to General but great men are often humble.

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:I knew the display of service medals would be inspirational!

By the way, comrade Komissar, it's Marshall Kapitan. It's kind of like being President Colonel Gaddafi.

I still don't understand why the man didn't promote himself to General but great men are often humble.

What I do not understand is why it is not Kapitan Kourt-Marshall. But then, I am merely a humble foot-soldier (or paw-soldier) in the Great Kampaign.

Comrade RedD, you have stumbled into an alternative system of title. Somewhat like having a degree.

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt, Marshall.

How that rolls off the tongue.......

RedDiaperette wrote:

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:I knew the display of service medals would be inspirational!

By the way, comrade Komissar, it's Marshall Kapitan. It's kind of like being President Colonel Gaddafi.

I still don't understand why the man didn't promote himself to General but great men are often humble.

What I do not understand is why it is not Kapitan Kourt-Marshall. But then, I am merely a humble foot-soldier (or paw-soldier) in the Great Kampaign.

Brilliant!