Commissars at the White Fortress have announced that a Saudi Arabian traveling pressure-cooker salesman, who happened to be in Boston during the Boston Marathon and coincidentally was hospitalized because of unexplained chemical burns, is being quickly deported by order of Comrade Party Chairman and President Barack Barackovich Obama in the interests of world harmony and international friendship.
News of his arrest, originally reported by the American Media Collective Office #17 (CNN), was later denounced and the supervisors of this office issued a formal self-denunciation for unauthorized reporting. The Department of Social Justice is now looking for two individuals, who they plan to classify as ‘white racists’ once they are apprehended and encouraged to confess.
“This is not the Saudi you are looking for,” said a Department of Homeland Security officer stationed outside the Boston Federal Detention Center. “You can go about your business. Move along.”
While the Party usually reserves deportation for serious political criminals, such as German homeschoolers, this case of diplomatic deportation was approved by the USSA and Saudi authorities to prevent misunderstandings and potential confusion. The Department of Crime Redistribution issued a memorandum in March that said that Middle Easterners had fulfilled their international violence quota in March through their hard work in Afghanistan, Syria, and Mali, and so no further international terrorism could be attributed to them this fiscal year.
European and American whites, however, have been underperforming in their violence quotas, despite repeated pressure from the Party, including a recent gun control bill and talk of legalizing millions of undocumented workers so that they can partake of even more wealth redistributions.
Members of the Central Committee are discussing alternative plans, including the collapse of the US dollar, so as to motivate whites to fulfill their violence quota and help provide the Party the correct circumstance for imposing martial law, which will speed up the implementation of the Party’s Progressive reforms.
Saudi Jihadists are our allies in the struggle against the Bourgeois! Condemn White European violence wherever you are told it happens!
Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People’s Cube,
Dialectical Progressivism Translator
"Ban pressure cookers! Support Johnny Ahab and other darker- skinned innocent minorities!" -- you are free to use new slogan.
I denounce the favoritism that Janet Napolitano's FBI has towards Non-Marxist Islamofascists nuts.
“These are not the Saudis you are looking for. Move along.”
Premier Hussein never wastes a good crisis, and a good bombing with graphic pictures on the intarwebs is a disaster tailor made to show those Norks how to run a Stalinist regime once and for all, especially if he can run that bastard Boehner out of town on a rail and get Tovarichi Nazi Peloski back in charge over in the House. With Commissar Reid still over in the Senate there's no telling what can be accomplished this time around.....
Maybe we can get the Saudis to ritually behead the Boston Bomber(s) for us and post the video on Liveleak.com.....
Meanwhile, Bawney Fwank, perpetually assuming a genuflecting position, is still praising Big Gov™ for having an oppprtunity to shine at its best.
As we can see, dear leader is already involved in dangerous appliance study group.
And speaking of dangerous appliances: What do we actually know about this "so called" Maytag Man?
As a formerly avid whitewater kayaker, let me assure the non-whitewater-informed public that being Maytagged is NOT pretty, and can be, in fact, QUITE dangerous!
I don't know why.
I believe you're tampering with my mind comrade. (what's left of it) I could swear she wasn't there earlier. Is this some kind of Cube test? Must I take screenshots of all your posts now?
I.M. CraptekMust I take screenshots of all your posts now?
Comrade - you really don't need to burden yourself.
R.O.C.K. in the USSAComrade Craptek, I thought you said "wenches" at first. And I thought immediately of Comrade May Putout.
I don't know why.
You know why R.O.C.K.!!