This Tuesday morning your People's Director spent on the phone with Paul Ibbetson of "The Conscience of Kansas" radio talk show, indoctrinating the eager masses about the People's Cube and its role in bringing about the Progressive World of Next Tuesday(TM).

Kansas is now ours, comrades! On behalf of the Party we hereby award Paul Ibbetson with HERO OF CHANGE Order of Obama for his choice of the People's Cube, and the Order of Laika the Space Dog for Excellence in Broadcasting.

[click me!]
The links to the audio are below, as well as the embedded player. The actual interview begins at 4:00 minutes and lasts exactly 16 minutes.

The Conscience of Kansas- interview, The People's Cube

I'm having some problems listening to it, but I'll assume it was funny and very progressive.

Comrade Red Square:

On behalf of all Progs, I must congratulate you on your conquest of Kansas. You gave the proletartiat excellent advise on maintaining their shovels in anticipation of The Glorious World of Next Tuesday^tm.

Today, Kansas! Tomorrow, the U.S.S.A!

A most glorious interview oh Great Trapezoidal Leader! Our conquest moves throughout the land with how adeptly you wield your Cubeness!

Sec-Progs have now found a home in Kansas although the flat lands may be dry for there liking and the locusts buzz far to frightening... a cricket chirps in the heartland.

All Hail Our Cubiest Cubist!

Wonderful accent. Brought me right back to the beet fields and vodka filled evenings. Good job of bringing The People up to speed on principles, vocabulary and strategies of the People's movement. Go Prog's.

Give that man a microphone!

Great interview!

Most Equal One - A most masterful show of "SEC PROG isdom" on that vermin infested neo Kulak. He will be a most useful idiot for the party from here on in. I hear tin foil is selling like hotcakes upon the fruited plains...

Excellant interview Dear Leader. Soon the wisdom of the Peoples Cube will be known from Sea to Shining Sea.

Couldn't help but to notice a person of very special interest in this Sharise Parviz. Very interesting.....................

How wonderful to have a toe-hold in Kansas. I was in Wichita on Christmas Eve of 2007 in a hotel. When I went down to supper the television station was starting to show <i>It's a Wonderful Life</i>. When I returned they were still showing it.

Everyone was so <i>normal</i>, the way I remembered it decades ago in Texas before Texas became, even in the desert, so cosmopolitan.

The staff at at the Hyatt were very friendly; the hotel was clean; the food was good; people had open faces; people smiled; everyone was nice.

This should not be permitted to last. We need the prog snarl.

Congratulations Great Red Leader on infiltrating evil ReichWing talk radio station, soon all the people's air waves belong to us.

Comrade Red Square,

I do not believe Kansans have ever heard such wit, such forthrightness, such dedication to our beloved and benevolent system of oppressiongovernment. The honors you awarded on your Kansas host should most certainly have been awarded to you.

And, now, to keep up with Commissar Theocritus (as if I could) in the story telling department, here is my Kansas story. I have two, actually. One was that my dear mother, bless her heart, a strong, fine young woman who could do a back bend and could support the weight of a male gymnast as he did a hand stand on her stomach, was once so prone to beating up on her little brother back in Oklahoma as a child, that my grandparents thought best to send her away to a boarding school in Wichita, where she turned out to be a fine young woman.

And the second one dates even further back to when my grandfather as a young man, taught in a one room school house, where one day, a tornado blew threw, and ripped one of his students right out of his arms (a little girl), lifted her up and carried her a mile (that may be an exaggeration--you know how these stories become embellished with time), away, where they found her, for the most part unharmed.

So, Comrade Red Square, you were like a tornado that blew into Kansas and swept all Kansans far and away to the Progressive World of Next Tuesday.

I am exceptionally upset that neither I nor any of my exceptionally progressive posts were mentioned.

I am rather glad that there was no mention of Bruno--for I do believe that even as as joke Bruno would not go down well in Kansas. When I was in Kansas watching <i>It's a Wonderful Life</i> the weatherman would break in and track the progress of Santa's sleigh. "He's crossing the Arctic Circle." "He's into Sweden."

"Santa can't come until all the boys and girls in Wichita are in bed."

This was like Texas 30 years ago and I wished that I could have turned to <i>Leave it To Beaver</i> and I am <i>not</i> being snide.

Dorothy: Toto, somehow I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.
Toto: Yes, Comrade Hale, we are now in The Democratic Socialist Republic of Kansas! Big Difference! Pay no attention to the man behind the Red Curtain! Thank You Red Square for the Glorious Liberation!

The People's Republic of Texas is going to invade the Democratic Socialist Republic of Kansas! If we are going to called imperialists, we might as well be imperialists. And think of all those meat-packing plants that we can use to process long pig into Soylent Green.

I wish to over an objective critique of the interview. The party always encourages fairness, and welcomes suggestions as to how we can always improve ourselves in our march to see all the masses are on one equal playing field. The one great thing about the Peoples Cube is that it is truly the prog movement of the future, not of the past where shameless groveling and toadyism was the norm, when addressing our most Senior Party Members and Glorious Leaders.

Therefore Red Square, I offer my humble critique in our trully prog collective fashion.

BRILLIANT! This was without a doubt the finest interview that has ever been conducted on the planet to date. I was enthralled with every utterance that you made, backed by a superior intellect that no one can ever hope to match. I was so inspired after hearing your voice and words, that right after I polished my shovel to a new shine that it hasn't seen in years. You Sir, are without a doubt the finest orator and most superior human on the planet.

Warm Regards,

Comrade Snoggie Woogums

I enjoyed the interview, not just in a proletarian rah-rah progressive way but in a real way.

{prog off}
How did you remain so calm?
{prog on}

Comrade Snoggie Woogums -

You are the one we've been waiting for. That is groveling we can believe in. You have my kind permission to raise to your feet and procure an extra ration of beets at the state redistribution caboose.

Since all the caboose personnel has just been executed for misplacing a state-owned potato, you'll be the one you'll be waiting on. I hope you don't mind.

Comrade Tovarich -

I remained calm because I follow the example of Comrade Stalin who was never seen raising his voice. Or at least no one lived to tell the tale - but I digress. Even though Comrade Stalin was never seen raising his voice, he always had full attention of everyone in the room.

Laika -

We're not in Kansas anymore on so many levels...

Dear Comrade Red Square,

Out-of-the-blue, you interjected and criticized Sarah Palin in a conversation that had nothing to do with her. You marginalized Palin by calling her "extreme." Excellent!

Maybe now, extremists in Kansas will finally remove the "McCain/Palin 2008" bumper stickers from their shameful gas-guzzling pick-ups and carbon emitting four-wheelers and purchase socially progressive and urbanely chic Che-heart t-shirts.

These Kansas extremists in particular need to demonstrate their patriotism by paying higher taxes, sacrificing their family businesses, and lowering their standard of living. Their redemption is working with their shovels to ensure Dear Leader's success. It's the only way to remove the suspicions we have about them that they fostered during the election, and because of their incorrect lifestyle choices.

Perhaps as a follow-up to your interview, Obama's campaign for re-election can target these extremists. He could send his representatives door-to-door in Kansas and require them to swear allegiance to Great Leader Obama. I was disappointed when this DNC program was temporarily shelved and wish to see it resurrected.

Maybe I'm impatient. I look forward to the day when we establish sec-prog "fairness" in the media. We CAN fulfill our censorship dreams and rid the air waves of opposition parties and their spokespersons: Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and Paul Ibetsson. In the future we'll have only one radio station, one TV channel, one pod-cast to choose from, and only one website on the internet--all streaming messages from The People's Cube, 24/7. We'll need only one button on our i-tunes for On-Off.

Comrades! Once again Comrade Square demonstrates the value of correct thinking! My own correctness has been honed through years of historical reinvention and progressive liberation of brain cells though the use of prohibitive amounts of Vodka, followed immediately by Goat Cheese and beet sandwiches.
However, Comrades, I am now attempting a very progressive experiment that will elevate myself to the same intellectual brilliance of Chairman Gore! Sorry Comrade Square, but I have discovered that through the creative use of shovels and other wacking implements, I can achieve greater heights of correctness. The doctors at the Peoples Clinic say the lumps will heal quickly, but the gashes will require surgery and the use of the peoples construction tape. But I feel so much smarter! Now I understand the need for Carbon credits, over taxation, property confiscation, media subjugation, and the absolute necessity of the teleprompter!

The TelePrompTer will be necessary only until all comrades have ocular implants which receive the Current Wisdom directly from Laika. TelePrompTers are SO big and bulky and hard to move around. They require at least one extra roadie. But if there are ocular implants, it is much easier.

The only problem is when the system crashes. Then you have people sounding like, er, Obama.

Khruelchev wrote:My own correctness has been honed through years of historical reinvention and progressive liberation of brain cells though the use of prohibitive amounts of Vodka, followed immediately by Goat Cheese and beet sandwiches.

I have received thank-you emails in the past, in which the authors told me that this site was the only thing that kept them from drinking their brain cells away in today's political climate.

I wrote back saying that all monies saved by reduced alcohol consumption should be forwarded to the People's Cube PayPal account, but there has been no response.

I have in the past send money by PayPal but they have told me that I can no longer use a credit card, even though it's in excellent standing. Bank drafts are cheap; AmEx charges money. They are determined to get into my bank account. PayPal is owned by Progressives, I believe, which I knew before I had this confirmed.

Their logo shows credit cards, which they do not accept. I am thinking that this is a violation of the Deceptive Trade Practices Act and that the Texas AG might find it interesting.

I love to be Progressive with Progressives.

Comrade Red Square,

Way to keep the Cube rolling! Between this, PJ, and Michelle, we should see more than just the 2000ish registered thought criminals in our collective today...

Commissar Obamissar V wrote:Comrade Red Square,

Way to keep the Cube rolling! Between this, PJ, and Michelle, we should see more than just the 2000ish registered thought criminals in our collective today...

I don't think so.......


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The spamming link here has been disabled. Have fun now comrades!
7.62

Speaking of Comrade Ibbitson, he seem to be all tied up with Comrade Gawdaufulo now...

ptp123 wrote:

Commissar Obamissar V wrote:Comrade Red Square,

Way to keep the Cube rolling! Between this, PJ, and Michelle, we should see more than just the 2000ish registered thought criminals in our collective today...

I don't think so.......


____________________
The spamming link here has been disabled. Have fun now comrades!
7.62

Hey Colonel, what did that guy do to my post? What was he spamming? I'm starting to run out of room at Platform 6.