The Chairman of the People’s Collective Treasury is considering the issuing of a $1 Trillion coin to balance the USSA budget and bring prosperity to all. The coin will also function as a commemorative for Comrade President Barack Barackovich Obama’s swearing-in as Party Chairman and Supreme Head of State.
Given the commemorative theme of the coin, it is expected that the People’s Treasury may offer more of these coins, since demand is expected to be very high.
While some unpatriotic and counter-revolutionary elements have dared to suggest that the issuing of such a coin would create inflation, the People’s Treasury Department’s Directorate for Currency Stability has already issued a statement, saying that it will decree that all inflation is Bourgeois and Capitalistic, and so it cannot happen under our Socialist System.
The notion of ‘Supply and Demand’ is clearly a Capitalistic ploy to undermine the workers and peasants. It makes an excuse for their general strategy of impoverishing the Masses by making desirable products more expensive, all the while while depriving the Proletariat of their fair share by declaring their items for sale as having less value.
The Party eliminates the delusion of Supply and Demand by regulating both: the Party establishes what the People must have according to the Five-Year Plan and various governmental regulations, then tells State enterprises how much they may charge. We see how well this works in insurance and crop subsidies. Now, the Party will use the same technique on the People’s Dollars, thereby issuing more People’s Dollars yet not effecting their value.
Rest assured that Comrade Barack Barackovich will punish any Capitalists who attempt to raise their prices with such a counter-revolutionary excuse as ‘inflation.’ Comrades, be confident that your money will be worth the same no matter how much the State prints, because the State always controls the value of things.
Print more money for the People! Long live the Socialist Revolution!
Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People’s Cube,
Quote:Basic economic analysis of the $780 billion stimulus package indicates that the plan to socialize the US economy will likely fail unless the Obama Administration backs it up by replacing the existing legal tender called "the dollar" with a new kind of motivational currency called the "Thank You Sucker" (TYS) notes, which would flood the markets and stimulate the economy without causing inflation.
Above is our original design proposal of the new motivational money that features the portrait of Barack Obama, who once complained that he "didn't look like those guys on the dollar bills." The bill also features one of Obama's most relevant money quotes, "Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows poverty of ambition," as well as a couple of axioms that serve as cornerstones of the progressive fiscal philosophy: "Money is the root of all evil" and "I win, you lose." In place of denomination at the top corners, the bill features the big letters "O," which some may misread as big zeroes, and at the bottom corners, the anagram "TYS" in the shape of the hammer and sickle.
Obama won the election with a rhetoric that skillfully replaced the words "socialist revolution" with the word "change." Now he is skillfully replacing the word "recession" with "catastrophe." The next logical step is to keep the economy running by replacing "dollar" with "thank you."
Ivan BetinovI think we should mint it out of plutonium instead of platinum. That way His Obamaness could carry it in his pocket and use it as a night light.
Silly Ivan, Dear Leader's HALO illuminates his path! A trillion dollar nightlight might be useful to the Air Force, but not to the ONE.
You really need to get out more...
Is a picture really worth 1000 words?