The Directorate for Popular Surveillance of the Department of Social Justice announced yesterday that the People’s Court of Texas Oblast has formally rejected a student’s effort to resist mandatory electronic monitoring. This great victory for the Party establishes the legal precedent that citizens may be required to wear tracking devices in connection with mandatory public activities, such as schooling.
A Texan student who refused to wear a badge with a radio tag that tracked her movements has lost a federal court appeal against her school's ID policy.
The Party struggles to ensure that our Young Socialists receive their appropriate indoctrination through State institutions of learning. Our schools must know the whereabouts of all students so as to answer for them to the Party and receive their proper share of budget allocations within the Five-Year Plan. Radio transmitters are the most efficient way to track student location and verify identification.
And, since the Party has taken responsibility for all medical coverage of the workers and peasants of the USSA through our greatly-desired Obamacare, any potential after-effects from long-term exposure to short-wave radio transmissions emanating from the tracking device (which is worn on a collar around the students’ necks and hanging down to breast level for easy viewing by Party officials) will be fully covered by Obamacare.
Students will be comforted in knowing that they will receive free cancer treatments, along with any necessary cardiovascular care, should the Party determine that the radio transmitters may have negative medical consequences. While studies on laboratory mice have proved inconclusive (all of the non-control-group mice inexplicably died from cancer in three trials with these devices, leaving Party scientists baffled). The Party assures us that these devices are perfectly safe.
In fact, these radio devices broadcast a clear, non-encrypted (who needs secrets and privacy in our glorious Socialist Republic?) signal which Party officials can monitor from up to fifty meters away. This will make truancy checks a breeze, since this signal radiates well beyond the average house into the sidewalks and streets, where radio receivers in vehicles can drive by houses and check to see if students are in their homes, either doing homework or watching Party-approved TV programs.
For more information on these radio receivers, look for tutorials on YouTube which can help you build your own, making denunciations much easier.
We should all be grateful that the Party cares for our children, even more than we do. How many parents have actually gone to the trouble of installing electronic monitoring devices on their children? None. Only the Party cares enough to do this!
Support mandatory electronic monitoring for all citizens! Agitation for surveillance!
Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People’s Cube,
Electronic surveillance is good for everybody!
Support mandatory monitoring badges!
Demand total surveillance now!
How can any
Apparatchik UnkulturnyWell, it's about time!
How can any
Well stated Comrade Unkulturny! Surely this is a mystery beyond my limited mental capacity. I must leave these lofty matters to our Inner Party who bear responsibility for all that is best for The Children™.