Image

ObamaCare Website Glitch Causes VP Biden to Vanish

User avatar
Biden_Lost.jpg
The monstrous consequences resulting from the GOP-orchestrated sabotage of the Affordable Care Act continue to mount up.

First, there was the mysterious cancellation of millions of health insurance policies, followed by mass hallucinations which led many citizens to believe that if they liked their insurance policies, they could keep them.

But the latest problem has even savvy veteran party conspiracy theorists scratching their heads: the spate of unexpected ObamaCare website computer glitches has apparently caused VP Joe Biden to disappear.

As one of the most impassioned and eloquent spokesmen for the glorious ACA, the world expected to see Mr. Biden on the front lines of the battle to roll out the president's signature legislation. Instead the VP has been virtually invisible since website problems began unexpectedly cropping up on Oct 1.

No one is sure exactly how but the current theory is that the website's inexplicable difficulties somehow caused him to vanish.

Unable to cope with the reality of his absence, anguished, grief-stricken Biden supporters continue to report seeing him in various venues ranging from his home state of Delaware to places as far away as Houston and Panama.

"It's just like after Elvis died," commented one staffer. "Fans were so distraught, they were seeing him all over the place."

"But it's not possible to be in Delaware one day and Houston the next," the staffer explained further. "You would have to travel near the speed of sound or something. Besides, we all know that Joe would be at the president's side, fighting for the ACA, if he could. Foul play just has to be involved for him to disappear at this critical time. There's just no other explanation for him to be AWOL right now."

Some cynics have suggested that Mr. Biden, who is expected to seek the Party's nomination to succeed President Obama in 2016, is purposely staying out of sight to avoid being associated with what some have characterized as a less-than-stellar ObamaCare launch.

"Don't be mizzled by racist propaganda!" says DNC chairperson Debbie Wasserman Schultz. "As I told Candy Crowley and anyone else who would listen, Americans have been feeling the benefits since 2010. Democratic candidates will be able to run on Obamacare as an advantage in 2014."

Debbie_Wasserman_Schultz_Biden.jpg
She added that the benefits of the ACA will increase exponentially by 2016, making Mr. Biden a shoo-in to win the presidency if he is the nominee. So there is no reason for him to not want to carry the ACA banner proudly, she claimed.

When asked why the Vice President had apparently vanished the last two months, Schultz offered an honest, straightforward answer.

"UFOs. Just like Elvis," she said.

User avatar
I was just saying I knew there was something positive about the failed website! oops, did I say that out loud??!!

User avatar
Comrade Fraulein, you and the viewers at home - at least those few hundred Americans who didn't participate in The Phone Call last night - will be interested in hearing that 100 million Americans have now signed up for Obamacare!

Yes, right outta the Oracle's Golden mouth, the (usual) Current Truth™ - 100 million blessed and fortunate ones are now inexpensively and full covered for life, all because of our glorious healthcare.gov website! Well, either that or they called 1-800-F1U-CKYO.

Meanwhile, Republicans are now claiming that the website is so full of insured people at this point that it's causing the world to tilt. In fact, they're saying it caused the tornadoes in the midwest and the typhoon in the Philippines.

Ted Cruz even threatened to shut down the government and make everyone listen to him read all of Dr. Seuss's books if Obamacare isn't repealed!!

User avatar
Fraulein Frankenfeinstein wrote:I was just saying I knew there was something positive about the failed website! oops, did I say that out loud??!!

Say you're sorry, or I won't come out.

Dog turd joe.jpg


User avatar
Hey Comrade Putout! Don't be too hasty about this SPAM thingy, although you may have a point here.

While on vacation in Hawaii I found that SPAM was a big seller in all supermarkets. That includes Walmart where they were piled into pyramid-shaped piles for the easy grab of consumers, as Walmart often does.

While sampling the purveyors of food on the Big Island, restaurants and groceries, we found that Spam™ was a big seller. Huge. Many recipes featuring SPAM. They are proud of it! They love SPAM!

Symbolic? Nah, I think realistic.

BTW, Hawaii has the very best ice-cream on the planet. Homemade. Awesome.

So SPAM, to them, means food! And yes, I think this is symbolic. There, i said it!


User avatar
Tovarichi wrote:I feel a YouTube video coming on...
In your dreams, Tovi!
Only in your dreams.
Also, in my dreams, too, cause I can't think of any. Yet.

User avatar
FixingWebsite.jpg
Not to worry comrades! Our Dear Leader, Comrade Prezzy MompantsOnFire (his Native American name - he has high cheekbones like Elizabeth Warren) is gitten er done! Healthcare.gov will be fixed shortly.

User avatar
Captain Craptek wrote:
Fraulein Frankenfeinstein wrote:I was just saying I knew there was something positive about the failed website! oops, did I say that out loud??!!

Say you're sorry, or I won't come out.

The attachment Dog turd joe.jpg is no longer available
The Cube is usually not the right place for toilet humor, but since it's Biden we're talking about...

ItsAWonderfulLife_Obama.jpg

User avatar
All right, you heard the man.

There'll be none of this...

Image

User avatar
Sarah Palin is behind Clown Joe's mysterious absence. BTW, that DWS sure is some kind of good lookingugly ass woman if you can call her a woman at allperson. Alternatively, Biden may be myzzling Schultz while they both work tirelessly on an interwebs fix?




User avatar
Quality, not quantity Pamski!

As Vice Premier, Joe Biden has shown grace and generosity by redistributing his own birthday salutations to those more deserving. We celebrate Dear Leader's (PBUH) choice of Vice Ruler...

User avatar
I have it on good authority that Biden is actually the dreaded Snowball. I saw him sneak into the farm and sabotage ObamaCare. It was Biden alright. Biden is Snowball. No wonder he's disappeared. When you commies find him you better whack him fast or he'll do it again.

User avatar
$.$. Halliburton wrote:I have it on good authority that Biden is actually the dreaded Snowball. I saw him sneak into the farm and sabotage ObamaCare. It was Biden alright. Biden is Snowball. No wonder he's disappeared. When you commies find him you better whack him fast or he'll do it again.

Wow, Comrade $.$. Halliburton, I had to look that one up. You know, the Snowball thing. So, here is what I found:

https://www.ehow.com/how_5089885_prune-snowball-bushes.html

Ha! Now I know why my Prog brother always referred to him as "Shrub." He thought that was very "gotcha" and actually funny. Now I understand.

[img]images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img]

Wow! What a prune. Get it? Prune? (Ha! Ha! Snort!) Actually, my brother never had a clue about Snowballs, he just liked saying stuff like that to piss me off.

User avatar
Pamalinsky wrote:
$.$. Halliburton wrote:I have it on good authority that Biden is actually the dreaded Snowball. I saw him sneak into the farm and sabotage ObamaCare. It was Biden alright. Biden is Snowball. No wonder he's disappeared. When you commies find him you better whack him fast or he'll do it again.

Wow, Comrade $.$. Halliburton, I had to look that one up. You know, the Snowball thing. So, here is what I found:

https://www.ehow.com/how_5089885_prune-snowball-bushes.html

Ha! Now I know why my Prog brother always referred to him as "Shrub." He thought that was very "gotcha" and actually funny. Now I understand.

[img]images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img]

Wow! What a prune. Get it? Prune? (Ha! Ha! Snort!) Actually, my brother never had a clue about Snowballs, he just liked saying stuff like that to piss me off.

Say goodnight, Gracie.

User avatar
$.$. Halliburton wrote:
Pamalinsky wrote:
$.$. Halliburton wrote:I have it on good authority that Biden is actually the dreaded Snowball. I saw him sneak into the farm and sabotage ObamaCare. It was Biden alright. Biden is Snowball. No wonder he's disappeared. When you commies find him you better whack him fast or he'll do it again.

Wow, Comrade $.$. Halliburton, I had to look that one up. You know, the Snowball thing. So, here is what I found:

https://www.ehow.com/how_5089885_prune-snowball-bushes.html

Ha! Now I know why my Prog brother always referred to him as "Shrub." He thought that was very "gotcha" and actually funny. Now I understand.

[img]images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img]

Wow! What a prune. Get it? Prune? (Ha! Ha! Snort!) Actually, my brother never had a clue about Snowballs, he just liked saying stuff like that to piss me off.

Say goodnight, Gracie.
G'night George.

User avatar
Captain Craptek wrote:
Fraulein Frankenfeinstein wrote:I was just saying I knew there was something positive about the failed website! oops, did I say that out loud??!!

Say you're sorry, or I won't come out.

Dog turd joe.jpg
Every Prog in the world has to deal with this at some time in their lives. Jeesh give us a break!

User avatar
Well, Comrades, we have glorious news, and news that Carney will spin like a top...

Vice Leader Joe Biden has been spotted taking up a collection to feed his face the poor...

https://www.myfoxny.com/Story/24035344/biden-welcomes-delaware-born-sandwich-shop-to-dc

The less than glorious news: is that according to this artlcle, the rich are not paying their fair share, as Uncle Joe had to BORROW money to pay his tab of $56.00 for four sandwiches. We should be compensating him for what he feels he is worth!


Where we can gain the upper hand is that the Kappitalist shopkeeper is extorting $14 per sandwich and keeping the ill-gotten gains, and is probably not providing health care to his workers who may or may not be citizens.

User avatar
Tovarichi wrote:Well, Comrades, we have glorious news, and news that Carney will spin like a top...

Vice Leader Joe Biden has been spotted taking up a collection to feed his face the poor...

https://www.myfoxny.com/Story/24035344/biden-welcomes-delaware-born-sandwich-shop-to-dc

The less than glorious news: is that according to this artlcle, the rich are not paying their fair share, as Uncle Joe had to BORROW money to pay his tab of $56.00 for four sandwiches. We should be compensating him for what he feels he is worth!


Where we can gain the upper hand is that the Kappitalist shopkeeper is extorting $14 per sandwich and keeping the ill-gotten gains, and is probably not providing health care to his workers who may or may not be citizens.

Technically, according to Washington Free Beacon, he did not borrow money, but demanded it from his aide. Nothing in this report indicates he had any intention of paying money back. Oh, but then again, this is current attitude toward "borrowing," is it not?
Washington Free Beacon wrote:
Biden's order: Two medium Italians, one with hot peppers, the other with hot peppers on the side, and neither with onions. He also ordered another large Italian and a large Bobbie with hot peppers on the side. Biden emphasized the importance of peppers.

“The only way to eat these things is with hot peppers, but not everybody understands that. You know what I mean?” he said.

The total was $56.25. Biden pulled out a wad of cash and realized he was short. “Alright man,” he said, and then turned around and called out to Fran Person, his personal aide, “Fran, you got ten bucks?”

User avatar
RedDiaperette wrote:
Tovarichi wrote:Well, Comrades, we have glorious news, and news that Carney will spin like a top...

Vice Leader Joe Biden has been spotted taking up a collection to feed his face the poor...

https://www.myfoxny.com/Story/24035344/biden-welcomes-delaware-born-sandwich-shop-to-dc

The less than glorious news: is that according to this artlcle, the rich are not paying their fair share, as Uncle Joe had to BORROW money to pay his tab of $56.00 for four sandwiches. We should be compensating him for what he feels he is worth!


Where we can gain the upper hand is that the Kappitalist shopkeeper is extorting $14 per sandwich and keeping the ill-gotten gains, and is probably not providing health care to his workers who may or may not be citizens.

Technically, according to Washington Free Beacon, he did not borrow money, but demanded it from his aide. Nothing in this report indicates he had any intention of paying money back. Oh, but then again, this is current attitude toward "borrowing," is it not?
Washington Free Beacon wrote:
Biden's order: Two medium Italians, one with hot peppers, the other with hot peppers on the side, and neither with onions. He also ordered another large Italian and a large Bobbie with hot peppers on the side. Biden emphasized the importance of peppers.

“The only way to eat these things is with hot peppers, but not everybody understands that. You know what I mean?” he said.

The total was $56.25. Biden pulled out a wad of cash and realized he was short. “Alright man,” he said, and then turned around and called out to Fran Person, his personal aide, “Fran, you got ten bucks?”

Joe "Wimpy" Biden, "Fran - I will gladly pay you Tuesday for an Italian today."

User avatar
That's enough.

I denounce the Vice President for offering to provide a service or product (lunch) and the forcing his subordinates (the intended beneficiaries) to fund it! This is not health care! This underfunded budgetary trickery and hooliganism cannot be tolerated!

Hold on, somebody's knocking at the door and seems impatien....

I heard Comrade Biden has been secretly declared an enemy of the State. They say he was exiled to Büyükada until Beloved Comrade Hillary ascends to power, at which point the failed Revolutionary will be moved to his final home in Coyoacán.

Comrade Biden's body double, however, was recently spotted begging for change outside a Hoagie joint in Washington.

User avatar
Aw, don't listen to Robespierre. He can't find Biden. He couldn't find his head with both hands.



 
POST REPLY