WASHINGTON - Barack Obama signed an executive order today without any advance notice to start a bus line called the "Freedom Express" that runs through Mexico and into the United States with the purpose of easing border crossings for Mexican immigrants.

According to the new law, the passengers are not to be charged for the service, nor be burdened with interviews or searches by U.S. Customs as they cross the border. Upon their arrival to various destinations inside the United States, the new immigrants are to be given food stamps, driver's licenses, Obamaphones, social security cards, in-state tuition, an insurance policy, and $10,000 per person, or $20,000 per family plus additional $5,000 for every child under 26 years of age. All arrivals will also be automatically registered to vote in upcoming elections.

The taxpayer-funded "Freedom Express" will be operating around the clock starting July 4th - a symbolic date, which in the president's view should resonate all across the nation, impacting Americans not only financially, but also emotionally.

The President has declared this a major moment in American history, comparing "The Freedom Express" to the Underground Railroad in the sense that it also travels north.

On the Mexican side, bus stations will be erected in the most economically challenged communities with higher than average crime rates. On the U.S. side, destinations will include low-income housing projects in higher-income residential areas, currently being constructed by George Lucas or Jimmy Carter. The remainder will be housed at FEMA camps built as emergency shelters in case of "a major crisis on U.S. soil," which is exactly how President Obama's executive order describes the current immigration situation.

"We need to see these people as victims of their circumstances," the President stated. "We need to give them the same chance at life that we have had, by giving them access to our excessive wealth. Anything less will be inhumane and unpatriotic."

"Soon I will also issue an order requiring small towns across the country to erect tent cities and more affordable housing units to accommodate the surge of newly arriving American citizens," Mr. Obama said, adding that from now on anyone using the term 'illegal' in reference to these people will be subject to hefty fines and possible arrest.

From our archives...


and comrade, you did not mention the gratuitous issue of Obama-phones, in-state tuition (until Junior college is made free) and driver's licences, did you?

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:From our archives...



and comrade, you did not mention the gratuitous issue of Obama-phones, in-state tuition (until Junior college is made free) and driver's licences, did you?

GREAT STALIN, I forgot! I will be sure to add it.

Comrade Chedoh, this is supposed to be parody.

Obama is just doing his part to counter-act the massive illegal Republican-sponsored influx of Euro-Caucasian immigrants.