[img]/images/Obama_Safe_Space.jpg[/img]

In response to the latest string of terrorist attacks in Egypt, Paris and Mali, President Obama has vowed to "never, ever, ever" discuss terrorism anymore, stating that "if we acknowledge terrorism exists, then the terrorists will have won."

Speaking from the White House Press Room, the President gave an example of the Eagles of Death Metal, an American rock band whose concert in Paris became a scene of a bloody terrorist attack earlier this month. "Those folks should have kept playing," he said. "When they stopped playing and ran for their lives, the terrorists won. I am encouraging all citizens: if you see anything suspicious, just ignore it and keep doing what you're doing, or the terrorists will have won."

Taking his point further, President Obama presented his new plan to combat terrorism. "What we are determined to do is to create a safe space - right here in the White House Press Room - where we are free from the tyranny of offensive ideas, facts, and actions. So from now on, no more questions about politics, ISIS, or Donald Trump. None of that stuff. We can talk about basketball, nutrition, or beer. I've got some some new jokes too, if you want to hear them."

An awkward silence that followed was interrupted by a question from the back of the room about intelligence reports concerning the Mali bombings.

President Obama responded to it by placing his index fingers in his ears and humming loudly, saying he couldn't hear anything due to the loud noise he was making. He then stopped abruptly and invited everyone in the room to try it and see how easy it is not to hear anything.

The President then ended the press conference by saying that there was a group of random protesters outside the White House and he couldn't wait to usher them in and meet their demands.

Congratulations on your first promotion to the Mother Page, Comrade Melvin!

From the start Obama was credited by the media with bringing a touch of academic refinement to the White House. They didn't mention that the biggest achievement of academia in recent years was the creation of "safe spaces" for students. In terms of foreign policy, that translates into creating and protecting a "safe space" between the President's ears.

Thus, life imitates the People's Cube once again, because way back when Obama was still a nobody, we already had an academic comrade who had placed himself in a safe space. Ivan Betinov did it before it was cool!

[img]/images/Betinov_Brain_Jar_Safe_Space.jpg[/img]

Comrade Melvin,

I am proud to have witnessed a full-grown adult senior Lefty™ display this very behavior. He covered his ears and went “Nyah, nyah, nyah!” when I said something he didn't agree with.

I was very impressed. He has the dialectic DOWN!

Oh, as a former first-time Mother Page achiever myself, congratulations!

Very well done!

Red Square wrote:Congratulations on your first promotion to the Mother Page, Comrade Melvin!

From the start Obama was credited by the media with bringing a touch of academic refinement to the White House. They didn't mention that the biggest achievement of academia in recent years was the creation of "safe spaces" for students. In terms of foreign policy, that translates into creating and protecting a "safe space" between the President's ears.

Thus, life imitates the People's Cube once again, because way back when Obama was still a nobody, we already had an academic comrade who had placed himself in a safe space. Ivan Betinov did it before it was cool!

I call foul play! Ive been here for about a year and I haven't ONCE made it to the Mother page. But some guy comes along and gets to the top in under a week. Now, I know that some are more equal than others, but this is taking it a bit too far, don'tcha think? And I know that I'm not the best at writing original articles, nor am I the best at snuffing thoughtkriminals out of images, but shouldn't the skill be transferred from those according to their ability and given to those according to their need? Shouldn't I, a lowly commoner, get the same things as the best artist or writer? It's only fair, and it's only right, because I think that it's problematic to suggest that I should have to work for what I want.

And, by the way, I'd better have a safe space built exclusively for me by tomorrow. It has to have a Las Vegas-style buffet and nobody who's good at art is allowed in unless they're invited in by me. And if I don't see it I'll say that you're racist against white people, hate the kollektive and want to see our glorious kube destroyed. And don't provide an image of a prison or the IRS, I tried using those as safe spaces but all I did was get screwed up the ass, both literally and figuratively.

Hmmm, is Comrade Stierlitz sending invitations to the Happy Keepers? He sounds like he wants one for his unjustified complaints.

Good one, Comrade Stierlitz,

Be patient. Sometimes whining pays off. Really, it's just a matter of time.

I had to wait about 4 years for mine. Didn't whine about it ever. It's Comrade Red's choice about what he thinks is relevant to be posted on The Mother Page. After all, it is his site. I'm sure you know that.

; • )

p.s.: It is the elite, as exemplified by our esteemed leader, Red Square, that picks the winners and the losers. That's just the way it is.

Hammer and Loupe wrote:Hmmm, is Comrade Stierlitz sending invitations to the Happy Keepers? He sounds like he wants one for his unjustified complaints.

See my response to Pammy below.

Pamalinsky wrote:Good one, Comrade Stierlitz,

Be patient. Sometimes whining pays off. Really, it's just a matter of time.

[highlight=#ffff00]I had to wait about 4 years for mine. Didn't whine about it ever. It's Comrade Red's choice about what he thinks is relevant to be posted on The Mother Page. After all, it is his site. I'm sure you know that.[/highlight]

; • )

I'm not whining, I'm simply airing my useless grievances and hoping that the Glorious State will strike them down in a haze of passionate fury whilst leaving me unscathed but perhaps only slightly terrified of the state's glorious power and presence. There's a difference.

[OFF]

Yes, I was just having a bit of fun. And I learned the hard way that it's his site. To be honest, that's a bit nuts, isn't it, joining one day and then getting one of the highest "honors" of the website a few days later. Although, to be fair, Melvin's really putting out some high-caliber stuff, so he deserves it.

Comrade Stierlitz,

You have put out some high-caliber stuff, too. And, so have I. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. That's life.

Meanwhile, Comrade Red Square is one of the kindest, fairest human beings I have ever known. He's a good guy.

I know you were having a bit of fun and we, in turn, were having a bit of fun with you.

Keep up the good work, most esteemed Comrade Stierlitz!

I have just returned from a full day of beheadings and have seen this. Praise be Allah. Thanks to your spineless President, the Caliphate will be realized and we will all win. Except those of you who will be beheaded.
Now, exactly how many virgins will I be receiving? Goats and camels are acceptable.

Melvin wrote:I have just returned from a full day of beheadings and have seen this. Praise be Allah. Thanks to your spineless President, the Caliphate will be realized and we will all win. Except those of you who will be beheaded.
Now, exactly how many virgins will I be receiving? Goats and camels are acceptable.

You'll get 71 Virginians:

Comrade Stierlitz,
I forgot to mention my own "First Mother Page" post. How could I forget. I'm very proud of it. Here it is:
https://thepeoplescube.com/peoples-blog ... %20Tipping

Read the whole thing. It's funny.

Edit: Love the Robin Williams thing!

My jihadi brothers and I have been monitoring your website to read all of your hilarious postings, comments and memes. We cannot believe how you've all been brainwashed by your communist / socialist leaders, and cannot think for yourselves like us Jihadists. Please keep up the good work so that we will be better prepared to defeat you. And you, Comrade Stierlitz, we are sending you a free "get out of one beheading" card (non-transferable).

Comrade Stierlitz wrote:

Red Square wrote:Congratulations on your first promotion to the Mother Page, Comrade Melvin!

From the start Obama was credited by the media with bringing a touch of academic refinement to the White House. They didn't mention that the biggest achievement of academia in recent years was the creation of "safe spaces" for students. In terms of foreign policy, that translates into creating and protecting a "safe space" between the President's ears.

Thus, life imitates the People's Cube once again, because way back when Obama was still a nobody, we already had an academic comrade who had placed himself in a safe space. Ivan Betinov did it before it was cool!

I call foul play! Ive been here for about a year and I haven't ONCE made it to the Mother page. But some guy comes along and gets to the top in under a week. Now, I know that some are more equal than others, but this is taking it a bit too far, don'tcha think? And I know that I'm not the best at writing original articles, nor am I the best at snuffing thoughtkriminals out of images, but shouldn't the skill be transferred from those according to their ability and given to those according to their need? Shouldn't I, a lowly commoner, get the same things as the best artist or writer? It's only fair, and it's only right, because I think that it's problematic to suggest that I should have to work for what I want.

And, by the way, I'd better have a safe space built exclusively for me by tomorrow. It has to have a Las Vegas-style buffet and nobody who's good at art is allowed in unless they're invited in by me. And if I don't see it I'll say that you're racist against white people, hate the kollektive and want to see our glorious kube destroyed. And don't provide an image of a prison or the IRS, I tried using those as safe spaces but all I did was get screwed up the ass, both literally and figuratively.

Comrade, I'm happy to transfer my skills to you for a substantial donation to the party.

Red Square wrote:.... Ivan Betinov did it before it was cool!

[img]/images/Betinov_Brain_Jar_Safe_Space.jpg[/img]

Ivan was even IVAN before that was cool too!He can't even dance in that jar if it's less than 2/3 full of fluid, and yet always the chick-magnet. How does he do it?

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:

Red Square wrote:.... Ivan Betinov did it before it was cool!

Ivan was even IVAN before that was cool too! He can't even dance in that jar if it's less than 2/3 full of fluid, and yet always the chick-magnet. How does he do it?

Well, Comrade Ivan, Chicks are suckers for honesty. Well, at least some of them are.

Chicks like things like integrity, fealty, and don't believe things like, "Guys are just built that way, therefore, they have to seek other targets for their built-in lust. That's just the way of men."

Well, I say, I got some lust, too. Okay, I don't build it up like a man, but I am so accommodating to a spouse who does. So, I don't buy that crap about guys having to indulge themselves in "other" sperm receptacles. Bogus argument!

Pamalinsky wrote:
Well, I say, I got some lust, too....but I am so accommodating to a spouse who does....

Whooooiee, so many beets to tend, and that tractor is not going to fix itself! My, look at the time!<OFF>Nope, not going to touch that one. Not me.

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:

Pamalinsky wrote:
Well, I say, I got some lust, too....but I am so accommodating to a spouse who does....

Whooooiee, so many beets to tend, and that tractor is not going to fix itself! My, look at the time!<OFF>Nope, not going to touch that one. Not me.

Yeah, Ivan, you'll touch that one in a New York minute! You can't fool me. : • )

The glorious worker's corps at the White House has finished the large 5ft. deep sand pool outside the rose garden. It is the size of an average swimming pool but is shallow and filled with fine sand and it is used for Premier Obama to walk on and stick his head into the sand just like a big, skinny ostrich. Any time a problem comes up he simply sticks his head into the sand and the problem disappears for him. Unfortunately the proletariat is still stuck with the problem. The premier is endangering himself because as soon as he sticks his head in the sand ISIS members line up to rape him. Funny.....he never moves. What a strange and glorious leader we have?????????!!!!!!!!

Pamalinsky wrote: I had to wait about 4 years for mine. Didn't whine about it ever. It's Comrade Red's choice about what he thinks is relevant to be posted on The Mother Page. After all, it is his site. I'm sure you know that.

I've been here 7 years now, and a Made Prog for most of them. Never have I made the Mother Page. Why? I don't do graphics (Glorious Leader graciously makes them for my posts that deserve them) and I don't really do high class satire. When I create a post, I'm usually just sharing a news article and reaction with the Kollektive rather than writing an original satirical piece.

My dear Comrade Stierlitz, it's all about all things in the korrect place. The Mother Page is the first thing people see when coming to the Cube. First timers read these posts before anything else. The articles have to be graphic, engaging, and above all satirical. They must embody the spirit of the Cube as they define the Cube for those who stumble across it. It's a billboard. It's the signature dish. It's the Black Friday sale. If they like what they see, they may venture into the People's Blog.

For those who return to the Cube, the People's Blog is the heart of the site. The reason I keep coming here is not the Mother Page, nor even the top level posts in the Blog. I come for the discussion. When I started coming here, it was the witty banter of SMO, Theo, Pupovich, Pinkie, etc. in the blog that kept me awake on many a night shift. Today, a new class has inherited the blog, and it's full of witty people, but as always, it's their discussion as I scroll that makes the Cube a respite from the PC world. Comments in the Blog mean more to me than any graphics. A post in the Blog may be the best thing ever, but if it doesn't meet the criteria above or fit that paradigm, it will never go to the Mother Page. It's not because the work is bad or unappreciated, but rather because it doesn't fit the mission of the homepage.

Never despair over not making the Mother Page. People's Blog posts are truly equal. Putting an important/interesting/funny article in the Blog and then dissecting it as a group, riffing on it, and inspiring others to create is the meat and potatoes of the Cube.

When he says "meat and potatoes" he means "beets and gruel", yes?

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:When he says "meat and potatoes" he means "beets and gruel", yes?

I think he means a crap sandwich & side of fries.

Dusted with only the finest gummit cheese... Maybe a little choom on the side to make everything go down better...

Or perhaps this: