Image

Mother Theresa's police report: 'Trump French-kissed me!'

User avatar
Image
MOTHER THERESA ACCUSES DONALD TRUMP OF SLOPPY KISSING

ASSOCIATED PRESS OCT. 25, 1989, 2:22 P.M. E.D.T.

"He came running up to me from out of the crowd, with wet lips, mouth agape, tongue wagging, dribbling saliva" cried Mother Theresa to the two policemen. "He looked mad!"

"Donald had both his tiny hands outstretched with fingers wiggling, mumbling something about kittens," sobbed Mother Theresa, as one of the policemen took notes and handed her a Kleenex exactly 27 years ago today.

The cops were writing down the report when Mother Theresa cried out again in a loud wail, holding her cross to her lips. "He looked wild," she said about The Donald. "His hair was orange!" Mother shrieked recalling that image, sitting down on her bed, shaking wildly as the policeman tried to calm her.

"He grabbed me in a tight hug," sobbed Mother Theresa, "and then planted his slobbering wet lips into my right ear as I turned my face away."

"A gallon of saliva ran in my right ear, I still hear the gurgling sounds," cried the sainted woman. The cop reached into his first aid bag and handed her a Q-Tip. "Here, Mother, use this," said the kind policeman to her.

"May I kiss you?," he asked.

When AP got wind of this story, our reporter stood up at last night's Tampa rally to ask the candidate about why he beats his mother, why he hates Catholics, Christians, Jews, and little puppies, and about his advances on Mother Teresa.

Trump responded, "It's not true, the media lie, you lie, Obama and Hillary lie; and besides, it happened almost thirty years ago," adding, "she did not kiss that good anyway... and, I mean, did you take a look at her? Let me tell you, NO WAAAAAY!"

Our reporter was then escorted out, beaten with a shoe, and thrown on the sidewalk. It is clear that we, the media, did not instigate any of this and we never lie!


User avatar
Comrade Square,
Finally the truth has been uncovered. I was confident that the people.s Pollit bureau would work around the clock until this gem was discovered in the cavernous archives.

A double ration of beet vodka is in order. More for you because you are mire equal than they are.
GC out

User avatar
Was not Saint Teresa of Calcutta part of the Jesuit Revolutionaries or am I talking about Kaine?

User avatar
Image.jpg
THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER OCT. 26 2016 5:42 PM.

The above accusation is at best a misrepresentation of presidential hopeful, Donald Trump.

The NATIONAL ENQUIRER has found in its archives a never seen photo of events on the day in question. On questioning the Donald, his reply was, "Hey, she is a spiteful chick. I remember she leaned out and asked for a kiss and I thought 'hey, it's Mother Teresa!', so I gave her one. I thought she was in for a freebie, I should have made her pay! And anyway, it sure wasn't worth no two bits, even in 1989 money. I guess she holds grudges because I would never pay for that... no way! That was not a good deal at all."

Mother Teresa was unavailable for comment.


User avatar
General Confusion wrote: A double ration of beet vodka is in order. More for you because you are mire equal than they are.
GC out

Tavarish Confusion -

A brilliant and subtle bit of subliminal adjectizing! Most equal! Comrade Freud would approve.

This election cycle has been more of a stinking swamp than a simple mire, though.

I go finish N-1 now. Time to leave this planet.

- SK

User avatar
Lies of Goldstein himself!


AP? As in AP Human Geography? My feminist teacher showed us a movie called Osama https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Osama_(film) about a gender-swapping Muslim fighting for women's rights.


User avatar
Holy Priapus ! _And no #hashtag ? _(#TrumPeniloGrab ?)


 
POST REPLY