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Made Prog has problems...

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[img]/images/various_uploads/Liberal_White_Male_Rage_Control.jpg[/img]

My Liberal White Male Rage: What Should I Do About It?

Poor guy. As a Made Prog, can you relate to this? All those eeeeeeevil male hormones messing with your commitment to Peace?

I think his only solution is to deal with Reality castration. Yes, that's it. Castration should help him to control those fantasies of violence, of rage.

I'm sure that either Commissarka Pinkie or Clara The Ballbuster could help him out with that surgery...

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Most Equal Konrad Lysenkomann,

I followed your interweb link and tried to make sense out of the ramblings on that page. Alas I seem to be lacking the required psychotropic medications.

Might I point out that all of the horrible aggression this Made Prog fantasizes about combating is in his head. All of it is made up. I bet all of his supporting facts for any argument he makes are from TV shows or movies. As they should be.

I'll try harder to follow the sound reasoning emotional raving of fellow Progs.

Red Salmon

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Dearest Comrade Red Salmon,

I think it gets easier to understand after you've gone through a Sensitivity Training or two.

And maybe a couple of Jiffy Lobos™.

Your post indicates that you are getting dangerously close to the hooliganism known as "thinking." Be careful not to think. That gets the attention of Commissarka Pinkie.

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Most Equal Komrad Lysenkomann,

I realized this when I read my comment after posting. The Jiffy Lobo ™ center in my area is down for renovation so I proceeded to bang my head on the floor. I'm quite dizzy and feeling much better. Maybe I'll go back and read that splendid blog again.

Thanks for your concern,

Red Salmon

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Hey Comrade Abe!

Do this with your head for 10 minutes - one session in the morning, and one before bed. Call me in 10 years if you still feel like a pussy.

Good luck,

C. Craptek
(Rodent)
Head-Basher-Large.gif

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Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote:Castration should help him to control those fantasies of violence, of rage.

I'm sure that either Commissarka Pinkie or Clara The Ballbuster could help him out with that surgery...

My dear Mikhail, one can't castrate someone who clearly has no balls.

BTW, you know what I do when I need a key made, but the locksmith is closed during business hours even though I spoke to him on the phone? I take my business elsewhere. You can get keys made at Lowe's, Home Depot, Ace Hardware, etc., but then Abe the Dickless doesn't strike me as the type who's ever been inside any of those places. All the lumber and power tools might trigger him and send him cowering to his safe place which is probably his mother's closet.

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Comradge Mikhail Lysenkomann, the whole thing reads like the people who wrote this had used a Niquil Vape far too many times....be that as it may, nothing like reading a little fictionism now and then.........

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Pinkie, I think you have diagnosed the problem perzactly. What a sad, sad, little person this writer is.

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Captain Craptek wrote:Hey Comrade Abe!

Do this with your head for 10 minutes - once session in the morning, and one before bed. Call me in 10 years if you still feel like a pussy.

Good luck,

C. Craptek
(Rodent)
Head-Basher-Large.gif


Komrade CC,

Needs more drama. Remember, Komrade Abe is into hyperbole. This is how he should bang his head.


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May I suggest an old, proven remedy we found back in 2006? Release your rage while saving the planet at the same time!

Bush Finds Cheap, Renewable, Non-Addictive Energy Source

The new power-generating technology, dubbed "People Power" utilizes the metaphysical energy of the revolutionary masses (also known as "hatred of capitalist pigs"), extracting progressive energy from highly charged individuals, and converting the "discharge" into clean electrical power. As such, it may reconcile opposing political ideologies by both eliminating industrial pollution and generating unlimited profit for capitalist entrepreneurs. And it is absolutely non-addictive.

The smallest unit of people's energy is called "Che." 1,000 Ches make one Mao. 1000 Maos make one Lenin.

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The eternal engine of a self-loathing society, described in Karl Marx's dialectics as the unity of the opposites, was also known to the ancients as the "ouroboros" - a snake biting its own tail.

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"The unity of the opposites."

The thesis and the antithesis produced a synthesis named Donald Trump.

Bwahahahahaha!!!

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Dearest equal member Lysenkomann,

This enlightening piece by Komrade Abe Low (pronounced "A Blow") confirms that my own rage anxiety is justified. I often wonder how it is that my neighbors' dog craps in my yard and not theirs...? Should I confront them about it, or just keep stepping in poo? These are the things that keep me up at night.

My other neighbors' kids steal my kids' toys regularly. I can't bring myself to ask them to stop because they are humans and I'm also a human. I don't want to categorize them, but I dream of burning their kids alive with a spray-paint blowtorch.

"My rage burns as I watch the likely future alt-rightest child step on my property. Don't they know that this intrusion causes disruptions to my wi-fi signal, which messes up my World of Warcraft feed? When this happens I can't sell my Orc killing swords and my children in real life suffer. And so I dream of joining Antifa. Then I will crush the skulls of all white, male children."

That was just a fantasy, in case you didn't realize it.

Surely Komrade Blow's inbox is teeming with Kubists' non-binary, equal responses to his ground-breaking introspection by now. He desires such feedback according to his dear leaders' report.

P.S. I heard from a friend, who recently helped repel an alt-right, neo-nazi home invasion, that Komrade Blow is very busy cementing his name with other matriarchal patriarchs in the alt-left movement.

Thank you for empowering me to continue my inward journey.


 
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